I feel like I have done this before….Oh wait, I have. A little over a week ago I had my second hip replacement surgery in just two months and this time it was a revision to the replacement. Another hopeful smooth sailing surgery with positive outcomes was the intention.
Of course the intention of the surgeon, who I admire and believe in 100%, was to remove the fluid and hematoma and get my hip functional. My intention was to trust and heal. Period. Just trust and heal.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
Maybe someone out there will hesitate to tell their loved one how easy they are going to have it or how the recovery will be such a breeze. I will keep saying that over and over despite driving people crazy.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
I knew going into the surgery that I would also be getting a picc line placed. A picc line is a long term IV that basically gives easy access to get IV antibiotics delivered into the body without having to poke often or deal with a peripheral IV. Sounded easy enough, but I was nervous as to how my body would respond to a plastic tubing in my chest given that every plastic, tape, or tubing inflames my skin and I end up being a blistered mess or having the culprits removed early.
The day after the picc line was placed, I noticed that my arm was very swollen. In quick fashion I was soon learning that I had a blood clot in my arm likely from the poke of the picc line. Gah. I had already been on blood thinners so this was surprising and alarming, to me.
I was discharged the following day and ready to heal at home. Unfortunately, my first full day home was spent in the ER with a very swollen arm and more blood clots. It was such a scary and surreal experience. The picc line was removed and what a sigh of relief that was.
I will say it again.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
So I am faced with an impasse. Do I react or do I respond to these challenges?
A reaction is typically done so with force and effort, whereas a response is a leaning into and surrendering. If I react to the fact my arm is swollen with anger, how would that help me? If I accept that I have clots causing the pain, how would that help me?
Reaction vs Response
Even though this experience has been incredibly hard, I still believe 100% that reacting in a blame/shame/anger way is so not useful. Those emotions will not heal my hip.
Will responding and surrendering heal my hip? Maybe and maybe not. What I do know is that my heart will be happier and my mental health will be intact if I respond in kindness to what is happening.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
My plan for healing is to enjoy the sunshine and the sounds of spring. I am going to reevaluate my life and what fits into the scope of peace and healing, and what doesn’t. Sometimes we have to face really hard challenges that shine a light into an area that has been darkened for a long time.
Stick around while I unearth some long overdue areas of darkness by responding to what is and what it all might mean for me. Check out the details of the week here.
is being honest about my pain that makes me invincible.
Nayyirah Waheed
Most times when we do experiences pain, we deny it for a multitude of reasons. In my case I used to deny my pain so that I was always viewed as strong. I am still not super open about my personal pain but I am realizing more and more that may not be the way. Finding fellowship with others can add value to our lives and sometimes it’s nice to not feel alone.
Usually when we talk about pain, we talk about how much pain impacts us negatively. I mean, there is truth in that. Typically when we are experiencing pain, either emotional pain or physical pain, it doesn’t lend itself to creating the best life. And feeling weak is also not a fun feeling and sadly, it usually goes hand in hand with pain.
Over the years I have been on both sides of that spectrum. I have felt deep, emotional pain and deep loss and I have endured incredible physical pain that few really know about. I have minimized and usually have kept quiet about much of my pain. I have also created an amazing life and career that I believe would not have evolved without pain.
Certainly, at times I wish I didn’t have pain.
However for the most part, the pain that I have endured in my adult life has been nothing short of fuel to help me become the best that I can be.
Some of my first pain came when I realized that my beautiful daughter, who I dreamt of having a normal relationship with, (and doing all the things moms and daughters do), was born disabled. When realizing I would not be having those type of experiences with her, I was angry. I was deeply saddened and felt incredibly alone. I felt cheated and that life was unfair. I lived in an area of town that had a relatively upscale school system where the focus was on perfection, and her being different did not lend itself to being included. While other little girls were being invited to birthday parties, my little girl was being shunned, and people were leading their children away from her because she was different. Around the same time, this was happening, my marriage was falling apart, and soon I was a single mom with three kids and no job. Having opted to have children instead of going to college, I didn’t have many skills, other than being an incredible advocate for my daughter. I could’ve chosen to wallow in the crappy cards that I was dealt, and sit in sorrow for the loneliness and view what seemed like an insurmountable mountain that I was faced to climb all alone. Or, I could tighten up my hiking boots and get it done.
Long after my divorce when my children’s father died, I went through a similar feeling of isolation and loneliness. Even though I was in a supportive relationship at that time, his death put any last hope that I was not going to be the only parent that my children had. There was no longer any far fetched wish that he would decide one day to be involved.
A couple of marriages could be seen as failures, or they could be seen as amazing opportunities to see my part in the dysfunction of relationships, and begin to do differently. The breakups were grueling and I probably would still have pain if I chose to be the victim in them. Sure, I could give you a laundry list of all the things that they did wrong, but that would be another version of the same story where pain isn’t useful. Instead I learned to look at my part on the dysfunction and my own abandonment and anger issues. I chose to resolve the deep wounds and allow them to scar over.
I’ve lived with chronic pain for nearly 25 years. I first began to see a pain management specialist to manage my ongoing pain all the way back in 2007. At the same time, I was developing a deep love affair with Yoga. While I was hoping that the Yoga practice itself would help me manage my pain, and it has in many ways, it wasn’t the end all. Many failed surgeries and many failed attempts to reduce my pain could easily cause me to break. I could be sitting at home and complaining about what my body cannot do anymore, or I could be taking as many walks a day that I have time for while feeling the sun on my face and the breeze on my skin and feeling completely and totally alive. I could spend my days complaining about my pain or I could spend my days having compassion for those who also have pain. I could use my pain as an attention seeking tool to have people feel sorry for me, or I could use my pain in a humble way to inspire people to live their best life.
You see, we all have pain. And the way that you and I handle pain is individual. This isn’t a blast on those who maybe don’t see through the same lens that I do. I just know that my pain is what inspires me to get up every day and be the best I can for my students, my kids, those who I love, and mostly for myself.
One thing that I do know for certain is this – my experience with pain has shown me just how strong I really am. It is showing me how adaptable and innovative I am. It has shown me the very essence of my spirit. Had I not experienced the pain, I may not have ever witnessed this amazing woman who writes this post. Without becoming this amazing woman, I would not developed beautiful connections in the community where I could use the pain that I once experienced with my daughter to be an advocate for those who can’t advocate for themselves. I would not be able to sit with someone else’s physical pain because I wouldn’t understand it if I didn’t have my own.
Pain is not the enemy here. Pain is actually the gift.
My pain has made me invincible.
Here is how I used pain to turn it into some useful in my life:
I let go of expectations of others
I learned to love myself
I made time for me
I chose me
I let go of people who did not align with my greatest potential
I released negativity in my life
I surrounded myself with love
I began to pay attention to my thoughts, words and actions
I stopped complaining and gossiping
I let go of competition with others
I accepted myself and the choices I had previously made
I practiced daily gratitude which made me actively seek out good in my life
I forgave others and myself
I stopped doubting myself
Not sure where to start? I would begin by listening to the thoughts you have and the words you speak, especially about yourself. You might just see that shifting those two things to something more loving with start the process.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
Dear life,
Grant me the courage To change what I am capable of changing And the grace To accept what is beyond my control And choose my battles wisely.
Please help me to fix what has fallen apart and is broken in my life That would benefit from being mended And accept what would not And move on accordingly.
Grant me the strength To fully seize each day And make the most of each moment Savouring the ones that provide me with joy, meaning and fulfilment
And remind me to treasure time spent with those I love And pursue my passions and what uplifts and energises me And focus on all that lies ahead of me Rather than all that lies behind me.
Please help me to embody love And radiate it to all whom I encounter Regardless of whether they remain in my life Or are no longer with me.
Please help me to remain calm and at peace During the chaos and shifting seasons of life And flow with it Understanding that everything is fleeting and temporary But that the true nature of who I am is eternal And more than this limited body And transitory physical experience
Please show me how to let go of fear, pain and resentment So I can feel light, unburdened and free And prioritise what is important While disregarding what is not.
Please comfort me in my grief And reassure me with the knowledge That I will one day be reunited with those I love who have left this reality But remain in spirit with me
And in the times when I am hurt May you show me how to heal and move forward
In the times when I feel small and fragile May you remind me of my inner strength
In the times when I feel weak May you remind me of my inner power
In the times when I feel lost May you help me rediscover purpose and meaning
In the times when I feel lonely and isolated May you remind me that everything is interconnected
And in the times when I have lost confidence and trust in myself May you help me remember who I am.
Words by Tahlia Hunter
(Inspired by the Serenity Prayer by Dr Reinhold Niebuhr)
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it and to imagine how it would feel. This poem was given to me when my girl was just eight years old and it changed my entire view of what I was given. In time this poem made more and more sense to me as I learned to not only accept the challenges that we had but also see that she was literally the little spark of goodness that opened so many doors for me to heal, and as a result it led me to do the magical work that I do with people with brain injuries and other disabilities in my community.
Today, I am proud to say my girl has grown into a sweet, kindhearted and somewhat independent young woman. She enjoys her volunteer job at the local animal shelter and loves caring for her dog, Emma. I was able to renovate my house a few years ago so that she has her own make shift apartment in my home where she lives with her dog as independently as possible. It has been my goal and focus that she become as self-sufficient as possible, not just for her own well-being but also because the reality is I will not live forever and I want her to either have success in supported living in the community, or be the least big of a burden to one of her brothers should they choose to have her live with them.
She has surpassed so much more than what anyone ever thought she’d be able to do. Of course, this came with decades of advocating, teaching and patience on my part and her willingness to do hard things.
This poem was the game changer for me and our life together navigating one of the hardest forms of parenting. Please feel free to pass this along to another parenting navigating this strange, yet beautiful experience.
Welcome to Holland
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.
“You may find that making a difference for others makes the biggest difference in you.”
Over the years I have had the opportunity to share my story a few times through interviews and podcasts and each time I get to tell it I realize that it wasn’t until I literally woke up and stepped into acceptance and gratitude that my life began to transform into greatness.
We all have a story and hopefully we all have opportunities to tell it and use it as a springboard to inspire others. This recent interview cut right to the chase of what I do and why.
What’s your business, and who are your customers?
I teach adaptive Yoga and wellness to individuals living in an assisted living setting with traumatic brain injuries.
Tell us about yourself
I am the mother and caregiver to an adult daughter with a disability, and I had initially found yoga for myself to help with stress and self-confidence. I soon realized that it was much more than that. I believe that when I allowed healing to come to my heart and sadness and find acceptance for the struggles I had been a single mom to three little kids and one significantly disabled, I was able to see that perhaps my girl was a beautiful door that opened for me to share yoga with those unable to access traditional yoga settings. I am now contracted with over 100 individuals per month with TBI and have become a success in my field. I am motivated by my students and their resiliency and how their trauma has influenced them to be their best selves. I am inspired by them in every class I get to share with them.
What’s your biggest accomplishment as a business owner?
My biggest accomplishment has been showing individuals that yoga is not about the physical body and that the intent is to find wholeness within themselves. I am so proud of the method that I have developed that has shown over a decade of success using yoga as a modality to find contentment, inner awareness, and life after injury.
What’s one of the hardest things that comes with being a business owner?
The hardest part is having enough time to reach all my students, learning to say no, and keeping myself healthy in mind, body, and spirit to be able to continue to show up as my best self.
What are the top tips you’d give to anyone looking to start, run and grow a business today?
Market effectively.
Be yourself and use your passion to fuel your business.
Having the opportunity to share Yoga and wellness in the community with individuals unable to access a traditional setting has been life changing for me. I hope that you find ways that your story can influence and help others. It is through our own growth that we give others permission to do the same.
One of my most treasured aspects of Yoga is how we go about with showing up for ourselves and others. This is the essence of Pantajali’s non-harming Sutra known as Ahimsa. Pausing to consider kindness (ahimsa) influences the choices you make and how you truly show up for yourself and for others. Ahimsa (pronounced “ah-heem-sah”) literally means “non-harming” or “non-violence” in Sanskrit. In it most basic level, it’s refraining from causing harm.
As we practice ahimsa in today’s modern life, there is more to this idea of non-harming than simply refraining from acts of physical violence. We understand now that pain can be more than just physical – it can also be emotional and mental. The deepest pain we feel is often very emotional and it most often sprouts from our relationships with other human beings. The grief that we experience when we lose someone or a part of our life that meant so much to our identity. The loss of a relationship or a painful life change can bring about deep and soul-shattering pain.
When we practice ahimsa, we are thinking about how our actions could hurt others and doing so invites us to take into consideration the potential physical, emotional, and relational consequences of our actions. We pause to consider kindness.
I am frustrated with the non-kind world that exists where division and opinions flood our everyday lives. I am saddened at the lack of humanity and desperate need to be heard in what seems to be a constant “what about ME” mentality. I am exhausted with the lack of kindness for fellow human beings.
But, I chose kindness despite my own struggling emotions. I offered ahimsa for the exhausted world in which I get to share Yoga. I pause. To listen. To see. To feel. To give.
I got to share oils with lots of people today hungry for something to help themselves feel better.
I reminded them that they can get oils anywhere, but can ”anywhere” prove their purity testing? The thing that sold me on doterra was their transparency when it comes to testing.
Grab a bottle…got to sourcetoyou.com and enter in the numbers at the bottom of your bottle. See the testing for yourself.
Your oils don’t have this? ????????????????
(I’d think twice before using them). I’m the meantime, want to learn how and why to use pure essentials? Check out this gorgeous ebook! And, let’s chat!
Do you know what causes these “warts” all over this pumpkin? ? SUGAR!
They are actually called sugar warts. Sugar builds up inside the pumpkin; it starts to push out of the shell and creates these barnacle-looking blemishes on the surface of the pumpkin. ?
Our skin is exactly the same.
We consume sugar and it feeds the yeast in the digestive tract. That yeast overgrowth emits 79 different toxins, and guess what? It pushes its way out through our skin!!
? The body expresses its toxicity in different ways for different people. Blemishes or irregularities on our skin is one major way! When you solve the problem of yeast overgrowth and balance your sugars, your skin will benefit.
Ever have acne, skin rashes, psoriasis, eczema, hives? Remember, your skin is the largest organ in your body.
Taking care of your gut health directly impacts the health of your skin.
Clean Gut = Clean Skin.
Have you found a great digestive enzyme and pre/probiotic? I have and they have made a tons of difference in my life. Plus walking everyday and loads of water.
Feel free to reach out to me if you would love to try them! And check out this awesome ebook on the supplements that I love.
