In a tradition I typically save for my personal journal on the eve of my birthday, I usually write a letter to myself to celebrate, and encourage the constant evolving that I choose to do. These are the words that came today as I reflected on my year.
Dear beautiful self,
Another year wiser and with a few more wrinkles, I’ve seen you grow in your willingness to reach out and ask (and receive) help. I’ve seen you overcome challenges that were unexpected, and do it with grace and gratitude. I watched you grow your business and become more confident and more self-assured in what you’re here to do. I’ve seen you stay consistent with your strength training program, sometimes battling the pain like wielding a sword against an enemy. I’ve seen you be generous and kind to those who may not have always deserved it. I watched you demonstrate bravery in extremely challenging situations.
As you continue to age, I see you learning to ride the waves of the process of the body changing. I see you worry about the things that you may not have control over and I hope that you remember that like fine wine and good cheese, the aging process just gets better.
I hope that this coming year you will continue to embrace all of you. You will navigate what life hands you with tremendous courage, and also an openness to staying with vulnerability. Your determination to find equanimity—or the balance between effort and ease—will be something that becomes quite easy for you if you stay the course.
Margin is the space between our load and our limits. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating.
I stumbled across this and it hit me right in the heart.
We’ve all heard the term “having a boundary.” In fact, these days it common lingo when it comes to self care. Several years ago a dear friend of mine talked to me about the word boundaries versus margins. A boundary is something that keeps someone or certain things away from you. Whereas, a margin is what you choose to allow in.
We need boundaries to obviously keep away things that are dangerous to us or could be harmful. We need boundaries to keep toxic people away from us. We need boundaries around our personal and work time. Those are important things for sure. But I’m really looking at the difference between what I protect and keep away, to what I invite and allow in.
What I choose to put inside my margins feels empowering unlike a boundary which feels harsh and cold.
As I begin this new year with seeking equanimity in my life, I’m really paying close attention to what I put inside the margins. As a person who gives so much all the time, I’m learning to give to myself a little, too. Over the last year, I really learned to listen to the things in my life that feed me or drain me. My intention is never to hurt someone while navigating these margins. It can be challenging as I tend to put others needs first. The chronic people pleaser syndrome. I’m committed to putting me a little higher on the pleasing list.
In order to be deliberate with my time and energy, I’ve first identified a few key things. I needed to be really clear as to what drains me and what feeds me.
The things that drain me:
People. I say that with a hint of joking and quite a bit of truth. Considering that I am with people all day every day and again when I get home I’m with more people, it is imperative that I learn to listen to how much people can drain me. If given a choice to be alone or with people, it’s 99% certain that I’m going to choose to be alone.
Mindlessly walking through a department store for the sake of shopping. If I don’t know exactly what I need, there’s no way I’m going to walk into a store just to look. In fact, most of my shopping is done online. I have no interest in being in stores just to kill time.
Soending time in crowded places, unless it’s a crowded coffee shop by myself. Again, partially joking here and a lot of truth. I love being in a crowded coffee shop if I’m by myself. Are we getting a theme here?
Loud and noisy places with lots of people. I’m not a huge fan of crowded spaces and I definitely don’t like to just be in a group of people for no purpose.
Loud music. Loud people. Loud environments.
The things that feed me:
Being alone.
Setting goals and creating action plans.
Making sourdough bread.
Spending time in my garden.
Long, solitary walks.
A jigsaw puzzle that allows my mind to wander.
Before saying yes to anything these days, I am learning to stop and ask myself the following—
Does the serve me today?
Will this feed me or drain me?
Am I saying yes to please someone else?
Does this feel good to me?
Margin is the space between load and limit. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed.
If it’s going to push me past my limit, then it’s a no. I’m trying really hard to recognize when my load is full and not add on anything that would break that limit. As I do things that feed me, my load reduces and I have space for more. Tuning inward to myself is key, then listening, and then choosing wisely.
When we combine our thoughts, our bodies and our minds with the magical gifts of mother nature, we reveal wisdom.
The wisdom of our true Selves. The wisdom of the Earth. The wisdom held in the vibration of every living cell.
Last month we dove into discovering what our true values are that sustain us during hard times or simply how we navigate our everyday. Knowing our values is step one, living in alignment with those values is step two.
Our actions and the words we speak, and even the thoughts we have, all must strive to be in alignment with those values. When we step into daily living in alignment we become our best selves.
I try to look at my values daily. I try to pause before I respond. I think before I speak. And, I try to ask myself if what I am about to do going to help me create the life I want.
I also love my body everyday with intention. I try to eat mindfully. I also find time every day for moments of stillness.
This beautiful blend I perfectly crafted and named Alignment helps me to stay in living within my values. This blend includes Frankincense–Oil of Truth, Rosemary–Oil of Knowledge, Lavender–Oil of Communication, Roman Chamomile–Oil of Spiritual Purpose, Sandalwood–Oil of Sacred Devotion, and Tiger Eye which is a stone of protection. Tiger Eye may also bring good luck to the wearer. It has the power to focus the mind, promoting mental clarity, assisting us to resolve problems objectively and unclouded by emotions.
This blend is perfect for creating a sense of alignment with yourSelf and with others. Grab yours HERE!
It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.
Anthony Robbins
I say all the time in my classes that Yoga is how we show up in life. It’s taking the tools we access in a physical practice—steadiness, concentration, presence, acceptance, surrender, courage—and applying them to life.
At the beginning of August I started a program to help me get back on my Yoga mat (or chair) consistently. To be honest, I was dreading it. The commitment that I made felt overwhelming and more than I could handle. I was so stressed about the details of recording the videos, when I would carve out the time, would it be good, what would I have to give up to make the time, etc.
Surprise surprise it has been one of the best months of my life. I crave the time to go out and move my body. Just 15-20 minutes a day and I am feeling more grounded, more aware and my body feels good.
The practice of consistency and showing up in your life with a commitment to be the best version of yourself you can is where the magic is.
I believe 100% that every aspect of our life will be influenced by being consistent. Our friendships, intimate relationships, work place connections, and our presence is the world itself will be effected in a positive way when we consistently show up for ourselves and others.
Consistently showing up.
Something magical happened yesterday in my work world that bleeds into this commitment of consistency. I FINALLY broke the code at a house I’ve been going to for TWO years with zero interest from the residents, minus one guy whose feet I rubbed consistently for two years until he passed away.
Every two weeks for two years I would knock on the door and ask the residents if they wanted to hang out with me. Saying the words “yoga practice” is far too intimidating because the image comes up in most people that it requires being on the floor like a pretzel. I have found just getting them to sit down with me is step one.
Today I unlocked the code of their resistance.
I had talked many times before to this guy but usually just asked how he was and if he wanted to try yoga. Always a no. He said he preferred to walk. I often thought to myself “me too, dude”. Nevertheless, I offered.
Today I asked about what I knew was HIS passion. I asked him which foot goes on the back of the surf board. He grew up surfing in the summer and snowboarding in the winter.
That is all it took— meeting him at HIS INTEREST. The next 45 minutes three other residents joined (one young young YOUNG man who is new) and a man who has refused to even speak to me for two years.
Today I broke the walls. They all participated and I was so happy for them.
Consistency.
Showing up week after week even if they say no builds SO much trust. Trust that many of them desperately need. One student told me recently that the reason he comes to Yoga is because I am one of the only people in his world that do what they say they will.
Showing up in our own lives and practice takes consistency but the benefit is so remarkable. Whether you’re committed to your health, your business, your family or others the consistency is what will be the game changer.
Believe me, they are watching and you never know who you are inspiring.
I used to think that being a full time Yoga teacher would be the ultimate dream career. In many ways it has been, but the things I thought would be amazing turned out to be less important and there are a few things that have been really challenging and that has made the career a pretty tough one. Believe me it is not all comfy clothes and peaceful vibes.
Here are a few things I have learned in my nearly two decades of teaching:
Teaching Yoga is lonely.
I have been teaching Yoga for over 16 years and 99% of that time has been as a solo teacher out in the great big world all on my own. I taught at a gym studio briefly where I would occasionally pass by another fellow teacher and the rare team/staff meeting lended itself to some resemblance of a community, but that is it. When I left my j.o.b. to strike out and become a full-time Yoga teacher, the thing that hit me the hardest was how lonely it is. There are no weekly team meetings to bounce ideas off of a colleague, there are no lunches together to process tough situations and there is definitely no happy hours to celebrate successes. Instead, I sit in my car all alone feeling all the feels of what I witness and celebrating all by myself the “wins” of the day or week. There are no birthday lunches or holiday gatherings and there is absolutely nobody to collaborate with. Most days I wish more than anything I had someone who I could talk to that didn’t just say “wow that is so amazing”, or “what a difference you are making in the world”, but instead was able to ask questions, give me feedback and really help me grow as a teacher, and a human being. I am making a difference and I do think it is all amazing but I need collaborating and honest conversations about the work and the clients I serve. I need someone to hold me to the line when I need it. I am trying to find a community of teachers to collaborate with but it is tough. Sadly, the Yoga world is so competitive and I am finding that someone with a YTT piece of paper assumes they know it all and sharing ideas is not something of interest to most.
2. You are also a business manager and marketing guru.
Students don’t just fall into your lap. You have to market yourself and hustle if you want this to be your main focus in your work life. I spend on average 2-3 hours per day marketing my classes, reaching out to students, and communicating with agencies. I do all of my own invoicing and accounting, which I had to learn all on my own through trial and error. You might learn a few things in Yoga Teacher Training about running a business, but it isn’t until you really step into teaching that you will begin figuring out your business name/model, how to get your name out there and you have to figure out what works for you in your location. Social media is a great tool, but not your only option, especially if you are not looking to be a YouTube sensation. Learning how to do this is tough unless you have a marketing background and you will likely be doing do this all on your own, unless you opt to hire someone. Loneliness bleeds into this area as well because there are a ton of “experts” out there there may not really get what your focus or passion truly is. A Yoga business is not your average customer service based business and finding someone you “gets it” can be tough, especially when it is your name and your passion.
3. Wearing Yoga clothes everyday isn’t all that great.
Okay this might be a silly point to make point but there is some truth in it. I mean, yes, it is nice to be comfortable, but there is a limit to feeling like a slob seven days a week. I long to wear regular clothes and look so forward to slipping on a dress or a pair of tights jeans on a day off or out for the evening. And, unlike the common myth people think, you do not get to write off your Yoga clothes because you wear them to work. This may seem like a silly thing to everyday people but I am shocked at how many people tell me how lucky I am because I get to wear Yoga clothes everyday. I thought so too, until I realized it isn’t all that great. Ridiculous, but seriously so many people think this would be amazing.
4. Being “on” and inspiring everyday can be exhausting.
I give myself so much more grace on this than I did when I first began teaching. I thought I had to have the perfect theme and say every word precisely. I still hold myself to a very high standard when it comes to being prepared for my classes, continuing to teach topics that people can use to improve their lives (off the mat or chair), and I want to also challenge myself to grow right along side my students. I realize somedays are going to be a little off. Whether I had a horrible commute, am living with a lot of pain, or simply just don’t feel it on a certain day I have to be able to still deliver. I have a set of “go-to” class formats and themes that I pull from when I am in this place and I have also learned that honesty and transparency go a long way as a teacher. Students really want a real person to guide them rather than a person who can’t expose themselves and end up being given a half-effort attempt at a class.
5. The teacher teaches what the teacher need to learn.
I have learned over the years to go there with your students–and this includes my students with TBI and dementia, or my everyday able bodied students. By go there I mean be with them, sit with them, feel with them, laugh with them, receive with them. Be willing to learn from them, be humbled in yourself and you will be just fine. Be open to learning about yourself through the process of teaching and you will not only inspire others but you will grow exponentially as a teacher and a person. The more you teach a hard topic (for me this can be something like acceptance), the more you embrace it. Be willing to learn and never think that you know everything, even if you can speak fluent sanskrit and can translate all the sutras. To me a great teacher is one willing to learn alongside the student.
I wouldn’t change a thing when it comes to what I have chosen to do with this special life. I am grateful every single day that I get to serve. Before each class, as I enter through the threshold of a doorway, I speak this words in my head and heart and then I let go. “give me the words and show me the way”. When I allow Spirit to move through me and to receive, I pass that along to my students and all is well.
Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life.
With over sixteen years experience, Stacie Wyatt is an E-500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor. Stacie is also certified in Integrative Movement Therapy™and is also a believer in the power and application of essential oils for health and wellness and proudly shares doTERRA essential oils.
Stacie brings her personal life experience of raising a daughter with a disability and over 12 years working in special education to her everyday Yoga classes.
In addition to teaching classes at a variety of local centers and health clubs, Stacie also continues to offer Yoga and Wellness coaching individually to those seeking private sessions.
“How can you live without knowing what your spirit is doing and what your spirit is saying to you?”
Caroline Myss
Learning to be in touch with who you are at the deepest level is the GREATEST gift you can give yourself in this lifetime. If you don’t know who you are, there is no chance you will live your best life, and that is a tragedy. One of the very first ah-ha moments when I had my great wake up was realizing that I was not my anger or my sadness or my physical form. I was learning that I was something much more powerful than that.
Part of being human is the tendency to want to control things. The trouble with this is that there is a whole Universe that exists outside of the realms of your control, and if you spend your whole life clinging to your PLANS you miss out on receiving what may often be a far better option than what you could have ever mustered up alone. When this clicked for me, my life truly changed. When I released the control, I began to flow with life and was open to the lessons and whatever was showing up in my life rather than holding so tight to the control of how I thought life should be.
I learned early on that in order for me to be my very best I had to create time each day to prepare my spirit for what was to lie ahead and at the end of the day to call my spirit back. This practice helps you to discern what you’re engaging in that either feeds your spirit, or takes away your spirit. When we connect to ourselves on this deeper level, we realize that we are not all the labels that have been stuck to us and we are not the outward expression of our body. We come to realize that our spirit is fed with being aligned with love and that some things steal that love, and steal our spirit.
Remember that each day is a new beginning. Your task each day is to learn the practice of consciously entering your body and your day. Begin by focusing attention on your entire day from morning to evening. Take a few moments to review where you need to go, and who you need to see. Ask yourself if you have expectations about the day and notice if you feel stressed or comfortable. Are you prepared? Then sit with yourself for a few moments and open yourself up to whatever comes during the day.
We go about our day so often asleep and unconscious. W go through the motions, allowing ourselves to get caught up in the whirlwind of expectations, judgments, and ultimately disappointments. We invest our energy into other people’s dysfunction and often hop on the familiar “what if” train. Sometimes we also give so much of ourselves that we feel unbalanced and drained.
This can all be exhausting.
Just as the morning practice of welcoming in and opening yourself is so important, the evening ritual is equally important. As you prepare to enter sleep, review how you used your energy during the day, how you invested your spirit, what you learned about the investments you should or shouldn’t have made. I like to imagine that I left tiny little sparks of light with each step, with each moment of eye contact, with each smile or touch. I think about my reactions to things that were not mine to react to. Did I waste energy in gossip, complaining, comparison or judgment? Those are all energy drainers. I watch my day in my mind and see where there was light left and where I contributed to a lesser energy that takes away the goodness of my spirit.
And finally, as you close out your review of the day, ask yourself, “How do I open myself to receive guidance as I sleep?”
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
Many years ago I would get out of bed and just start “doing”…. I was asleep living my life and just going through the motions of existing.
Then I started a ritual of being quiet and still. I made a commitment to getting up a little earlier before the house woke up and began making time for myself. I say this a lot, but when I WOKE UP to living, I became a better person. Part of the waking up process was cultivating a morning ritual.
The results were amazing; I yelled less, I reacted less, I was angry less, and I was peeling off all the garbage I had accumulated through my life. It was clear to me that anger had eroded every cell of my being and I was a perfect example of what that looked like.
I was toxic mess in every aspect of my life. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. A toxic, heavy mess.
And then I began this simple morning ritual. I started the great wake up of my life where I went from unconscious living to conscious and deliberate living.
The rest is history ?
Here is how I start my day: I usually take 30 minutes to do some of these things before the day gets busy.
I am a big intention-for-the-day person and I almost always pull a positive card that gives me something to think about throughout the day.
I note all the goodness in my life and welcome in the day with an open heart by breathing mindfully for 5-10 minutes and sitting with all that IS.
I enjoy my coffee with mindfulness. I practice the art of tasting it, smelling it, and enjoying the warmth.
After this part of my morning is complete and my spirit is cared for, I go and take care of my physical body with movement. Right now I am enjoying short walks and time on my yoga mat or pilates reformer.
Once I have had a little time for myself I can be ready to give to others. You know the old saying you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Have you ever used a Mala and practiced Japa meditation? Malas — also known as yoga beads or japamalas — are necklaces that usually have 108 beads. Mala, in Sanskrit means “garland”. Malas are meant to help you focus your mind during meditation. While Japa meditation is my favorite way to meditate, the beads themselves hold a powerful visual reminder throughout the day of the statement I meditated on and the tactile sensation brings me right back. When my mind wanders throughout the day, I can simply touch my mala and I am reminded of what statement I chose.
In meditation practice, Japa meditation holds a special place. It is the process of mentally repeating a mantra or speaking a phrase while meditating using a mala. The word Japa means muttering in Sanskrit. The meditative practice of Japa keeps the human mind steady and resistant to disturbance.
Meditation could mean different things to different people. I have written and taught how to transform meditation into mindfulness and how learning to live each moment in the state of mindfulness can change your life. While sometimes I have a “formal” meditation practice, it is often that my meditation/mindfulness practice takes shape in other ways.n
Many consider meditation as a quiet observation, wherein others often consider it a practice of self-awareness or reflection upon themselves. Either way, stillness and introspection is an amazing insight to your daily life.
I love to practice Japa meditation because for me it helps me to focus on a powerful statement, 108 times. It embeds in my spirit something positive and powerful. Plus the tactile use of the mala adds an element to the meditation that my mind enjoys. I have several Malas—some are made of stones like jasper and agate but my favorite is a sandalwood mala that has become richer over times as I use it.
The practice of Japa creates beneficial mental pathways and is a strong technique for focusing the mind and harnessing the subtle powers of the body/mind. I have seen this practice in my students many times as we learn Japa together. Some have even purchased mala beads to continue on their own.
How to practice Japa meditation:
Japa meditation is practiced by moving your fingers along a mala or the strings of beads known as Japa mala. There are many types of Japa that include speaking the mantra aloud, whispering the mantra or silently repeating the mantra. I prefer to be silent. There is also a technique you can use if you don’t have a string of mala beads. You can see that technique in this video.
Now that you know how to practice Japa, choose a powerful statement and try it.
Here are some positive affirmations to try:
I am calm
I am centered
I am in control
I am loved
I am grateful
am worthy of what I do and speak
I am valued and loved
I am allowed to put myself first
I am safe
I am secure
I release all my shame that I am holding
I love my body and what it does for me.
Most often, I simply say “I am____” and follow it with a variety of words like patient, strong, healthy, resilient, powerful, etc.
Are you going to give it a try?
* this is my sandalwood mala and a Sanskrit word Shanti tattoo which translates to peace
Tell me what do you love or admire about yourself?
I asked this question in all of my adaptive and traditional Yoga classes last week as we delved into the idea of Self-Love. The answers often are so sad when it comes to my students with brain injuries. You see these people have lost what most of us value and are having to rediscover the aspects of themself that they actually like. Most have lost their livelihood, their purpose, their families, their independence, their freedom to come and go, and oso much more. When they look in the mirror they often see the challenges and the impact of the injury so finding the qualities within can usually be really challenging. I also have enjoyed asking my group of students that are all over the age of 85 and living in assisted living. I am startled that so few of them can proclaim something that they love about themselves. Perhaps it is a generational thing where they didn’t spend as much time as younger people these days who seem consumed with the Self.
The answer seem to be so hard for them to find.
I ask the question anyway and the answer is usually that they are blank on what they love about themselves.
I keep asking, though.
On one particular day in a class that included a range of ages and abilities, I asked a woman living with a brain injury who is close to my age and is often very down on herself the question. When I asked her what she liked about herself her eyes dropped down to the ground and she quietly said, “nothing”. She was hunched over with her arms on her legs looking so hopeless and sad. This woman is so kind, so willing, so sweet and is so beautiful.
I knelt down so that I was in her eye gaze and asked again. And again, I got the same response.
I knew that I was about to open a beautiful can of worms and an opportunity to teach exactly what Rumi was saying.
I turned the question around. I asked this woman what she liked about me. She looked at me and easily said, “You are brave, and strong and so beautiful”.
We smiled at each other and I looked into her eyes.
My response wasthis—I am simply a reflection of you. What exists in me is also in you otherwise you would not recognize it. We are indeed a mirror reflection of each other.
She sat tall and said, “really?” Yes my sweet friend, really.
I learned this concept many years ago and try to always remember it, especially when I am with someone who feels that they are not enough or someone who struggles with identifying what makes them special. I ask them to think about someone they admire and what qualities do they see in them that they like? It is those qualities that also exist in ourselves.
Consider that. What you see in others exists in you. Kindness, integrity, compassion, love, bravery, beauty, honesty, humor, etc. If it was not part of you and familiar, you would not recognize it.
The tricky and often sticky part about this is that when we also see a quality within others that we find less appealing, it is because that too is familiar in us. When this happens to me I say, “ahhhhhh yes, there you are to remind me what I am here to work on”.
When we stumble through those ordinary days of self doubt and wondering what is really good about ourselves this can be an amazing concept to return to. When we feel burdened by life’s hardness and separate from the ideals in which the world has attempted to create, and we feel so less than, simply look into the eyes of someone you admire and know that the only way you can see those qualities is because they also exist in you.
It is familiar. It is a mirror reflection of yourself.
