Adaptive Yoga

Simply a Reflection

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The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.

rumi

Tell me what do you love or admire about yourself?

I asked this question in all of my adaptive and traditional Yoga classes last week as we delved into the idea of Self-Love. The answers often are so sad when it comes to my students with brain injuries. You see these people have lost what most of us value and are having to rediscover the aspects of themself that they actually like. Most have lost their livelihood, their purpose, their families, their independence, their freedom to come and go, and oso much more. When they look in the mirror they often see the challenges and the impact of the injury so finding the qualities within can usually be really challenging. I also have enjoyed asking my group of students that are all over the age of 85 and living in assisted living. I am startled that so few of them can proclaim something that they love about themselves. Perhaps it is a generational thing where they didn’t spend as much time as younger people these days who seem consumed with the Self.

The answer seem to be so hard for them to find.

I ask the question anyway and the answer is usually that they are blank on what they love about themselves.

I keep asking, though.

On one particular day in a class that included a range of ages and abilities, I asked a woman living with a brain injury who is close to my age and is often very down on herself the question. When I asked her what she liked about herself her eyes dropped down to the ground and she quietly said, “nothing”. She was hunched over with her arms on her legs looking so hopeless and sad. This woman is so kind, so willing, so sweet and is so beautiful.

I knelt down so that I was in her eye gaze and asked again. And again, I got the same response.

I knew that I was about to open a beautiful can of worms and an opportunity to teach exactly what Rumi was saying.

I turned the question around. I asked this woman what she liked about me. She looked at me and easily said, “You are brave, and strong and so beautiful”.

We smiled at each other and I looked into her eyes.

My response was this—I am simply a reflection of you. What exists in me is also in you otherwise you would not recognize it. We are indeed a mirror reflection of each other.

She sat tall and said, “really?” Yes my sweet friend, really.

I learned this concept many years ago and try to always remember it, especially when I am with someone who feels that they are not enough or someone who struggles with identifying what makes them special. I ask them to think about someone they admire and what qualities do they see in them that they like? It is those qualities that also exist in ourselves.

Consider that. What you see in others exists in you. Kindness, integrity, compassion, love, bravery, beauty, honesty, humor, etc. If it was not part of you and familiar, you would not recognize it.

The tricky and often sticky part about this is that when we also see a quality within others that we find less appealing, it is because that too is familiar in us. When this happens to me I say, “ahhhhhh yes, there you are to remind me what I am here to work on”.

When we stumble through those ordinary days of self doubt and wondering what is really good about ourselves this can be an amazing concept to return to. When we feel burdened by life’s hardness and separate from the ideals in which the world has attempted to create, and we feel so less than, simply look into the eyes of someone you admire and know that the only way you can see those qualities is because they also exist in you.

It is familiar. It is a mirror reflection of yourself.

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Telling Your Story

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“You may find that making a difference for others makes the biggest difference in you.”

Over the years I have had the opportunity to share my story a few times through interviews and podcasts and each time I get to tell it I realize that it wasn’t until I literally woke up and stepped into acceptance and gratitude that my life began to transform into greatness.

We all have a story and hopefully we all have opportunities to tell it and use it as a springboard to inspire others. This recent interview cut right to the chase of what I do and why.

What’s your business, and who are your customers?

I teach adaptive Yoga and wellness to individuals living in an assisted living setting with traumatic brain injuries.

Tell us about yourself

I am the mother and caregiver to an adult daughter with a disability, and I had initially found yoga for myself to help with stress and self-confidence. I soon realized that it was much more than that. I believe that when I allowed healing to come to my heart and sadness and find acceptance for the struggles I had been a single mom to three little kids and one significantly disabled, I was able to see that perhaps my girl was a beautiful door that opened for me to share yoga with those unable to access traditional yoga settings. I am now contracted with over 100 individuals per month with TBI and have become a success in my field. I am motivated by my students and their resiliency and how their trauma has influenced them to be their best selves. I am inspired by them in every class I get to share with them.

What’s your biggest accomplishment as a business owner?

My biggest accomplishment has been showing individuals that yoga is not about the physical body and that the intent is to find wholeness within themselves. I am so proud of the method that I have developed that has shown over a decade of success using yoga as a modality to find contentment, inner awareness, and life after injury.

What’s one of the hardest things that comes with being a business owner?

The hardest part is having enough time to reach all my students, learning to say no, and keeping myself healthy in mind, body, and spirit to be able to continue to show up as my best self.

What are the top tips you’d give to anyone looking to start, run and grow a business today?

  1. Market effectively.
  2. Be yourself and use your passion to fuel your business.
  3. Be willing to always keep learning.

Where can people find you and your business?

Website: https://sites.google.com/view/embracingspirityoga/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embracingspirityoga/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embracingspirityoga/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stacie-wyatt-4ab7a3120/

*interview courtesy of Team Subkit

Having the opportunity to share Yoga and wellness in the community with individuals unable to access a traditional setting has been life changing for me. I hope that you find ways that your story can influence and help others. It is through our own growth that we give others permission to do the same.

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Living My Manifesto

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It seems many people have opinions on other peoples business model, and the two most common statements I get as it relates to my yoga business is 1) I’d never drive that far for a class or student, and 2) I would never teach a class for that little of a rate (usually followed by a laundry list of all the trainings and education they have).

Here’s the thing. I’m not in it for the money, but the money is always there. I’m not in it for the fame although I am booked solid week after week and literally have no room in my schedule for more. I’m not in it for the ego, yet I know that I make an incredible difference in the lives of many.

Why do I drive hundreds of miles a day only to find my student still in bed because staff didn’t bother to wake him up? Because I said I would and because when he did decide to get up, together we created a beautiful session that included him doing something he hasn’t done in decades. This incredibly special student was injured at age 25 and his college roommate continues to write him a letter every single week and they are now in their mid 50’s. My student actually wrote him a letter back! Remember, yoga is defined as union and it doesn’t have to include pretzel shapes with our bodies.

I do it because it is service—which to me is defined as doing something without an attachment to personal gain. I do it because it is my gift. It is purpose. I do it because this is the manifesto my business and life is structured around.

The minute I start calculating how much money I am going to make, I have stepped out of service.

And do you want to know what? The money is always there.

I’d much rather show up within the foundation of my manifesto than seek out fame and fortune. That isn’t what I am about. I am about service and becoming the best version of myself through those I humbly serve.

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Confinement

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I often say that I am putting all of the amazing nuggets of wisdom that come from my students with brain injuries into my future book and to share on my future Ted Talk. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

Year after year and class after class, I am humbled at the insights that come from people living with brain injuries and feel so strongly that they can teach the world so many things about truly living. Over the years I have kept a little notebook with some of the teachings that they bring to my life and will often pull inspiration from that notebook in my everyday classes or in my personal life.

This one is a keeper.

I have been teaching from the theme of freedom this month. According to Webster’s dictionary, freedom is defined as having the ability to think, speak and act without hindrance or restraint. As we broke down each of those areas and shared the hinderances in our lives it is easy to see that everyone has certain hinderances or restraints that keep them from living fully free. For some, it is living without the ability to move their legs, or for others it is not being able to drive or work. For me although I can drive and work, I have certain physical limitations and responsibilities that keep me from being fully free in my actions.

We then moved onto our ability to speak without hinderance or restraint and it was evident that while the idea of free speech exists, there is a limitation to what we can all say and not get into a little hot water, whether that it within our own home or in the community.

We finished our discussion with the realization that the only true place we have freedom is in our thoughts. We are all free to think what we think and no matter what our challenges or our struggles are, it is ultimately what do with it through our mindset.

Here is the moment of ah-ha that has stayed in my heart for weeks. As we were closing up our discussion on living freedom, this was spoken:

“The confinement that I feel is only what I ALLOW myself to feel.”

Read that again.

The woman who said this is a student who lives in assisted living and occasionally comes down for yoga. Her body is riddled with pain so her practice is breathing and sharing. She is brave and wise.

She also lost her independence, her family, her ability to work and drive, and basically do the things that feed her soul. And yet she has the insight to see that despite all of her lack of freedoms, she can escape the cage with her thoughts.  She is one of the most insightful and grateful people I have ever met.

And to think that I am called the teacher.

Truth is, I am a conduit for their wisdom. I get to be the messenger. 

Freedom Is

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Freedom is defined as the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

We have all heard of the metaphors of feeling stuck in a cage and not able to be free to fly, or the imprisoning walls that have been built around us. Sadly, it seems that the brick and mortar is often what we place around ourselves that create our own version of prison.  This can include negativity, questions of worthiness, regrets of the past and worries of the future. Similarly the key to the cage that we so often feel trapped in resides in our own hands. It is our choice to stay in the cage or take the key and unlock it.  No matter what circumstance we are in, we ultimately have choice in what we do with it.

There are a million examples of how we can feel stuck, trapped, locked in, or caged.  Whether it is a relationship, a job, a location or a belief you have about yourself, freedom truly means that WE have the power to act, speak and think without restraint and hindrance. 

We are in control of what we do with our circumstances. Certainly opening the cage door or tearing down the walls that give us a false sense of safety takes incredible courage and sometimes can be the scariest thing we ever do, but the payoff is much better than feeling closed in and stuck.

I hope through a practice of mindfulness and yoga, I can help others to see the freedom that is available through the spaciousness of our hearts and minds. This month we are going to chisel away the beliefs and fear that build a wall around ourselves.  We are going to slip the key into the lock and learn to fly. We are going to feel free. Just as the little finch sits on a branch that perhaps has no insects or is not protective enough, she has the freedom to find a branch that is and we too can jump from a negative thought to a positive thought.

Consider what it would be to take a look at some hard questions and then prepare to take flight.

Do you feel imprisoned?  Are you the one laying the bricks down and filling them with mortar?  Do you hold the key in your hand and refuse to unlock the door?

What would freedom feel like for you?

July Inspiration

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“The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not “the thinker.” The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter – beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace – arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.”

Eckhart Tolle

Summer is in full swing! I hope that you are all enjoying the season of growth! The warm days, lemonade, watermelon and summer activities are happening! My garden is flourishing and I love to see the changes that each day offers! All the rain we have been getting is making my veggies super happy. I had a big lesson last month about the impatience I was showing toward the seeds I had planted–even so much that I was convinced a squirrel stole them when in fact, they grow on their own time, not mine.

It may surprise you to learn this about me, but I am a hustler and find joy in hard work. I have also come to realize that choosing time to fill up my own cup will only bring more value to my work. I have been focusing on carving out time each day to make sure I get a walk (or two) in, that I enjoy time on my patio with a popsicle, or time on my bike, and that I am pausing each day to take in more of LIFE around me. I believe that personal growth is one of the most empowering things we can do. I hope you’ll consider joining me in some personal growth and balance.

Celebrate you, your life and enjoy the summer days! I have some fun things going on this month…check it out!

July Inspiration

Losing and Lessons

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It is fair to say that every human on the planet has lost something or someone. We have all had events or people in our lives that invited us to feel loss. For some it has been the actual loss of a person, or perhaps the loss of an opportunity, or even the loss of a dream.

For this past month or so I have circled back as I do so often every year around my daughter’s birthday. In my own process of evolving and working to be the best version of myself that I can be, I have given myself permission to feel anything and everything when it comes to her birthday. For years I stuffed the emotions that I thought some might see as an ungrateful and resentful mom. I have since learned that nobody’s opinion really matters when it comes to how I feel, as my feelings are valid and real, regardless of what they are. I am able to now openly share with myself and others that there is indeed a loss when it comes to her. She was born this little perfect sweet little baby girl but within a few years was identified with multiple developmental disabilities and the reality that my relationship with my only daughter was not going to be that of my friends you had a “typical” daughter. I was not going to have (easily) conversations and mother daughter outings. Instead, I would forever be her mode of transportation and decision maker. I would not be helping her to plan her dream wedding, but instead I would be planning where she would live when I am too old to care for her. I wouldn’t be celebrating her college degree and career path but instead finding appropriate day programs for her to feel some resemblance of purpose and meaning in her life.

That is a huge loss.

Through the process of my wakeup years ago, I realized that within the loss is a great lesson.

I am now able to see all that I have gained. I have taken the loss and created something amazing and powerful through the lesson of acceptance and grace. You can hear my whole story here on this awesome podcast. I chose to accept and do something with this amazing gift I was given, through her and as her.

The point is the lesson I have learned was that life doesn’t always give us what we may see as the ideal, but if we open our hearts to seeing the lesson, it may just rock your world.

When my children’s father died in 2014 I experienced another huge life changing lesson through the process of loss. I had already lost him in many ways as we divorced when things got too much for him related to our daughter and the vastness of what our life had become. To be completely honest, he wasn’t the greatest dad and he definitely was not able to show up for himself, or the kids, however I was willing to see the lesson in his unfortunate death. One of the greatest days in my life as a mom was witnessing my boys show up for him, regardless of his inability to show up for them. You can read about that pivotal day in my life here.

When he died, he was alone. He had made decisions in the last year of his life that prompted his last few days to be that where he was not surrounded by anyone as he transitioned. The painful reality of his last few years was just too much for my kids once they had said their beautiful goodbye days before, and he was estranged from his friends and family.

That was a big loss. Not just for him, but for my children, and in a way myself.

The lesson I learned from that loss has become a huge part of my life and service work. Within a few months of his death, I had a mystical and powerful yearning to volunteer in hospice. I woke one morning from a deep sleep knowing that I had to serve those dying and that nobody should die alone. I also had another deliberate truth that my service would be rubbing people’s feet while they were making their journey. I am not even a foot person! But, I knew it was what I had to do. So I did.

This week, one of my yoga students whom I have been spending time with every two weeks fell gravely ill and when I arrived at his group home I was told he was intubated and in the ICU. Due to his previous injures our yoga sessions are essential me rubbing his feet and moving his paralyzed limbs. When I heard about his his current condition, it didn’t not occur to me to NOT go. I jumped in my car and off I went with my magic hands and open heart.

The smells of an ICU and the sensory overload within the space can easily overtake you, if you allow it. Tubes. Alarms. Machines. So much to be distracted by.

I walked in and he was awake but obviously unable to speak. I grabbed is hand and watched as his eyes twinkled with recognition. I did my thing and when I went to say goodbye a single tear fell from his eye.

All alone.

The lesson of acceptance and regardless-of-what-someone-did-or-didn’t-do-you-show-up came from those two losses in my life. I know with every fiber of my being that had my girl been born not as she was and had their father not been who he was and not died the way that he did, I would not have been there for my student, and the countless other strangers who I have had the honor to rub their feet.

I know that.

Loss? Yes, for sure.

Lesson? Absolutely.

Peeling Away the Layers

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Sometimes I go to my yoga studio and just sit on a mat or cushion and ponder life’s mysteries. I might process it all through some movement and other times I just sit with the silence and my wandering thoughts. Recently, I have been working at noticing the thoughts that irritate me and invite them in for a deeper look, which usually results in some pretty awesome growth. I have found that the irritation is usually a mirror reflection of myself (duhhh….isn’t it always?).

This weeks recommendation from me is to go find a place to sit, to move and to be. Notice what shows up for you and then welcome it in like you would an old friend and see what shows up. It is likely a portal that will allow you to peel away another layer and reveal even more of your deepest truth.

True Yoga

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One of my most treasured aspects of Yoga is how we go about with showing up for ourselves and others. This is the essence of Pantajali’s non-harming Sutra known as Ahimsa. Pausing to consider kindness (ahimsa) influences the choices you make and how you truly show up for yourself and for others. Ahimsa (pronounced “ah-heem-sah”) literally means “non-harming” or “non-violence” in Sanskrit. In it most basic level, it’s refraining from causing harm.

As we practice ahimsa in today’s modern life, there is more to this idea of non-harming than simply refraining from acts of physical violence. We understand now that pain can be more than just physical – it can also be emotional and mental. The deepest pain we feel is often very emotional and it most often sprouts from our relationships with other human beings. The grief that we experience when we lose someone or a part of our life that meant so much to our identity. The loss of a relationship or a painful life change can bring about deep and soul-shattering pain.

When we practice ahimsa, we are thinking about how our actions could hurt others and doing so invites us to take into consideration the potential physical, emotional, and relational consequences of our actions. We pause to consider kindness.

I am frustrated with the non-kind world that exists where division and opinions flood our everyday lives. I am saddened at the lack of humanity and desperate need to be heard in what seems to be a constant “what about ME” mentality. I am exhausted with the lack of kindness for fellow human beings.

But, I chose kindness despite my own struggling emotions. I offered ahimsa for the exhausted world in which I get to share Yoga. I pause. To listen. To see. To feel. To give.

Kindness.

Embracing Spirit Yoga

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It never occurred to me to be a yoga teacher until I realized through my own awakening that many people who could not easily access a yoga class could also benefit from the gifts of the practice. Sharing mindfulness, body awareness, peacefulness, connection to Self and so much more became my passion. I also never wanted to be an entrepreneur. In truth, after raising kids I had no idea what I wanted to do. I dabbled with the idea of being a social worker, and the funny thing is many of my social work friends now tell me that is exactly what I am doing. I spent years working in special education and raising my own unique kid sure paved some ways of understanding differences and I knew my desire for advocacy for this group was huge. Having all those pieces come together was a mystery. And then it happened.

Eleven years ago I created my business known as Embracing Spirit Yoga. At that time I had been sharing yoga for awhile but hadn’t stepped completely into full time teaching. I decided to take the gigantic leap into the unknown, quit my j.o.b. and trust that my purpose would sustain me.

Sustain me it sure has.

People assume that teaching yoga full-time must be so “fun”. I would not describe it as fun, but it IS what I believe I am here to do. I believe 100% that I was given my special daughter to lead me down a path of teaching yoga to people with disabilities. The road with her hasn’t been easy, but I can see now that it certainly has gifted me with amazing compassion.

Since I began my business in 2011, I have shared yoga in countless group homes, assisted living settings, nursing homes, hospice beds, parks, health clubs, community rec centers, schools and in my own studio. I teach to all types of abilities in a variety of settings. To some who witness a group of us huddled around a coffee table on leather furniture in a living room they may question if that is really a yoga class. Most of my settings are not perfectly curated yoga spaces with flickering candles, dimly lit room and soft comfortable pillows along the wall. The classes I teach are designed to be accessible anywhere.

It has been a wonderful eleven years and I have grown so much as a person and as a teacher. I could not have succeeded and been able to touch so many lives without the support of my students, my family, my friends and those who have taken a chance on my offerings and who have seen first hand the dedication I give to my students. The ongoing encouragement and understanding from the people closest to me fuels me. To some it may seem like I am frazzled and running like crazy, but those who love and respect me see that the hard work is a reflection of my passion for serving those with disabilities.

Every person who has generously said yes to my teachings has made the last eleven years magical and I am so thankful. Grateful doesn’t even begin to capture what my heart feels.

If you are curious and want to learn more about what I do, check out this informative webpage and read about what I believe to be the foundation of any quality yoga class.