I feel like I have done this before….Oh wait, I have. A little over a week ago I had my second hip replacement surgery in just two months and this time it was a revision to the replacement. Another hopeful smooth sailing surgery with positive outcomes was the intention.
Of course the intention of the surgeon, who I admire and believe in 100%, was to remove the fluid and hematoma and get my hip functional. My intention was to trust and heal. Period. Just trust and heal.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
Maybe someone out there will hesitate to tell their loved one how easy they are going to have it or how the recovery will be such a breeze. I will keep saying that over and over despite driving people crazy.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
I knew going into the surgery that I would also be getting a picc line placed. A picc line is a long term IV that basically gives easy access to get IV antibiotics delivered into the body without having to poke often or deal with a peripheral IV. Sounded easy enough, but I was nervous as to how my body would respond to a plastic tubing in my chest given that every plastic, tape, or tubing inflames my skin and I end up being a blistered mess or having the culprits removed early.
The day after the picc line was placed, I noticed that my arm was very swollen. In quick fashion I was soon learning that I had a blood clot in my arm likely from the poke of the picc line. Gah. I had already been on blood thinners so this was surprising and alarming, to me.
I was discharged the following day and ready to heal at home. Unfortunately, my first full day home was spent in the ER with a very swollen arm and more blood clots. It was such a scary and surreal experience. The picc line was removed and what a sigh of relief that was.
I will say it again.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
So I am faced with an impasse. Do I react or do I respond to these challenges?
A reaction is typically done so with force and effort, whereas a response is a leaning into and surrendering. If I react to the fact my arm is swollen with anger, how would that help me? If I accept that I have clots causing the pain, how would that help me?
Reaction vs Response
Even though this experience has been incredibly hard, I still believe 100% that reacting in a blame/shame/anger way is so not useful. Those emotions will not heal my hip.
Will responding and surrendering heal my hip? Maybe and maybe not. What I do know is that my heart will be happier and my mental health will be intact if I respond in kindness to what is happening.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
My plan for healing is to enjoy the sunshine and the sounds of spring. I am going to reevaluate my life and what fits into the scope of peace and healing, and what doesn’t. Sometimes we have to face really hard challenges that shine a light into an area that has been darkened for a long time.
Stick around while I unearth some long overdue areas of darkness by responding to what is and what it all might mean for me. Check out the details of the week here.
