practice

Margins

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Margin is the space between our load and our limits. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating.

I stumbled across this and it hit me right in the heart.

We’ve all heard the term “having a boundary.” In fact, these days it common lingo when it comes to self care. Several years ago a dear friend of mine talked to me about the word boundaries versus margins. A boundary is something that keeps someone or certain things away from you. Whereas, a margin is what you choose to allow in.

We need boundaries to obviously keep away things that are dangerous to us or could be harmful. We need boundaries to keep toxic people away from us. We need boundaries around our personal and work time. Those are important things for sure. But I’m really looking at the difference between what I protect and keep away, to what I invite and allow in.

What I choose to put inside my margins feels empowering unlike a boundary which feels harsh and cold.

As I begin this new year with seeking equanimity in my life, I’m really paying close attention to what I put inside the margins. As a person who gives so much all the time, I’m learning to give to myself a little, too. Over the last year, I really learned to listen to the things in my life that feed me or drain me. My intention is never to hurt someone while navigating these margins. It can be challenging as I tend to put others needs first. The chronic people pleaser syndrome. I’m committed to putting me a little higher on the pleasing list.

In order to be deliberate with my time and energy, I’ve first identified a few key things. I needed to be really clear as to what drains me and what feeds me.

The things that drain me:

  • People. I say that with a hint of joking and quite a bit of truth. Considering that I am with people all day every day and again when I get home I’m with more people, it is imperative that I learn to listen to how much people can drain me. If given a choice to be alone or with people, it’s 99% certain that I’m going to choose to be alone.
  • Mindlessly walking through a department store for the sake of shopping. If I don’t know exactly what I need, there’s no way I’m going to walk into a store just to look. In fact, most of my shopping is done online. I have no interest in being in stores just to kill time.
  • Soending time in crowded places, unless it’s a crowded coffee shop by myself. Again, partially joking here and a lot of truth. I love being in a crowded coffee shop if I’m by myself. Are we getting a theme here?
  • Loud and noisy places with lots of people. I’m not a huge fan of crowded spaces and I definitely don’t like to just be in a group of people for no purpose.
  • Loud music. Loud people. Loud environments.

The things that feed me:

  • Being alone.
  • Setting goals and creating action plans.
  • Making sourdough bread.
  • Spending time in my garden.
  • Long, solitary walks.
  • A jigsaw puzzle that allows my mind to wander.

Before saying yes to anything these days, I am learning to stop and ask myself the following—

  • Does the serve me today?
  • Will this feed me or drain me?
  • Am I saying yes to please someone else?
  • Does this feel good to me?

Margin is the space between load and limit. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed.

If it’s going to push me past my limit, then it’s a no. I’m trying really hard to recognize when my load is full and not add on anything that would break that limit. As I do things that feed me, my load reduces and I have space for more. Tuning inward to myself is key, then listening, and then choosing wisely.

Selfish? Maybe.

Radical self care? Absolutely.

Alignment Blend

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When we combine our thoughts, our bodies and our minds with the magical gifts of mother nature, we reveal wisdom.

The wisdom of our true Selves. The wisdom of the Earth. The wisdom held in the vibration of every living cell.

Last month we dove into discovering what our true values are that sustain us during hard times or simply how we navigate our everyday. Knowing our values is step one, living in alignment with those values is step two.

Our actions and the words we speak, and even the thoughts we have, all must strive to be in alignment with those values. When we step into daily living in alignment we become our best selves.

I try to look at my values daily. I try to pause before I respond. I think before I speak. And, I try to ask myself if what I am about to do going to help me create the life I want.

I also love my body everyday with intention. I try to eat mindfully. I also find time every day for moments of stillness.

This beautiful blend I perfectly crafted and named Alignment helps me to stay in living within my values. This blend includes Frankincense–Oil of Truth, Rosemary–Oil of Knowledge, Lavender–Oil of Communication, Roman Chamomile–Oil of Spiritual Purpose, Sandalwood–Oil of Sacred Devotion, and Tiger Eye which is a stone of protection. Tiger Eye may also bring good luck to the wearer. It has the power to focus the mind, promoting mental clarity, assisting us to resolve problems objectively and unclouded by emotions.

This blend is perfect for creating a sense of alignment with yourSelf and with others. Grab yours HERE!

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Divine Feminine Energy and Aromatherapy

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If you’ve been following along with the the last few months, you may have caught my theme of personal growth. Back in March we learned how to prepare our “soil” in the garden in our heart by removing the trash, twigs and weeds that take can take over when left unattended. In April, we took some intentions into our hearts and planted them within with hopes that we will grow in an area of ourselves that we may be lacking. I personally chose to grow some acceptance after I worked hard on removing some disappointments.

Now, this month we continue on by looking at how do we nurture these “seeds”? What types of things will act as sunshine and water for the precious intentions we have cultivated in our spirits? 

One of my favorite ways to work with the energy of nurturing is to really tap into the divine feminine energy.

Divine feminine energy is of receptivity and stillness. Divine feminine energy is of non-doing. Obviously this is very much NOT me.

Feminine energy dwells in the shadows and is connected the the lunar energy. Feminine energy is the receptive side of us that is softer, slower, still, and welcoming of ideas and thoughts.

I am trying to slow down in general especially on the days where I do not have to be doing and going. I think that society glorifies busy and burnout and I am working towards the still, peaceful moments that connect me to a deeper part of myself.

I am also attempting to tap more into my intuition which is another aspect to living more in the divine energy flow of life. Having daily rituals is important to stay connected to this energy. I have become a master at self care rituals which include bubble baths and time alone in the garden. I normally do some version of both every day. I also make it a point to wake early and spend some quiet time alone. These little moments in my busy day help to keep the divine feminine energy there, but it is something I realize I need to connect with more as I am in constant motion. Stillness is very, very hard for me.

This month in my personal practice as well as my teachings, I intend to move on my mat in ways that nurture this energy. Coming into flowing and graceful movements while then holding postures in stillness and looking inward. Slowing down my body on the mat to lean into the stillness within will transfer to my life which is the true purpose of yoga.

Also part of my slowing down softening the edges of myself, and being more intuitive and intentional about things includes using aromatherapy. I love to use essential oils to help the process of connecting. It sounds crazy, but essential oils and plant therapy have been used for centuries in various forms and during rituals. Most modern medicine is derived from the properties of plants and I love using the purest form of the plant.

In my experience, the higher noted citrus oils or flower-scented oils offer a strong connection to the divine feminine.

A quick google search gave me some amazing suggested oils to begin my deeper exploration..

Once you have experimented with scents and their effects, you may like to also integrate yoga and crystals into your practices to tap into the divine feminine. It took me some experimenting to find what I love, and what I need.

Suggested Essential Oils for Awakening the Divine Feminine:

  • Bergamot — The oil of self-acceptance and self-love. Also promotes self-confidence and the knowing that you are enough.
  • Geranium — The oil of love and trust. Geranium helps us forgive, become more tolerant and gentle. It eases heavyhearted emotions and feelings of abandonment.
  • Lavender — Oil of Balance. If all else fails, this oil is one of the most versatile. If you’re up and not grounded, lavender is the anchor. Conversely, if you’re down, lavender is the sunshine to shift the clouds.
  • Ylang Ylang —The oil to release. This oil helps us feel playful, free, intuitive and emotionally connected. Ylang Ylang helps us release bottled up emotions. This plant also opens up our playful side and inner child.
  • Clary Sage — The oil of clarity and vision. This beautiful oil helps develop spiritual clarity, intuition and open-mindedness. It teaches us how to use our divinely given feminine gifts. It also helps balance hormones.
  • Rose-The oil of divine love. It supports you as a queen and symbolises pure divine universal love. Rose dissolves fear and awakens our inner goddess. Rose helps us feel more compassionate, tenderhearted and accepting, drawing out those feminine qualities. Rose allows us to choose to receive divine love. 

Here is a fun fact— rose is so expensive because it is sourced from a large volume of rose petals, ideally harvested at dawn, to extract out the pure oil. Crazy, huh?

  • Cedarwood — Oil of Community. Cedarwood inspires the feeling of belonging and assists the heart in opening to receive the love and support of other people.”
  • Magnolia — Oil of Compassion. Magnolia encourages all individuals on a profoundly spiritual level to interact without causing pain or suffering and to refrain from seeing others as somehow less than oneself.
  • Manuka — Oil of Being Upheld. Manuka offers energetic safety and shielding from the intense problems all around that individuals feel powerless to change
  • Thyme — Oil of Releasing & Forgiving. This herbal essential oil is beautiful for becoming more openhearted and understanding. Thyme “assists in addressing trapped feelings which have been buried for a long time.”

Ideally when we use essential oils to support feminine energy, we are looking to feel all the feelings we’ve likely been suppressing–self love, acceptance, intuition, and the softness of our spirit.

Using these oils will gently soften and bring out the feminine side of you. They are a lovely way to self empower and value add to any self-care activity you are undertaking to better your life and mindset. I love to make a roller blend with these oils during this month to tap into the feelings of nurturing my divine feminine and start to really give the seeds in my heart that I’ve been working on planting the last month or so.

I have a gorgeous free ebook that walks you through the use of essential oils in everyday life for your family. Whether you opt for the more energetic and emotional uses or the practical everyday remedies, you can check it out here.

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Japa Meditation

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Have you ever used a Mala and practiced Japa meditation? Malas — also known as yoga beads or japamalas — are necklaces that usually have 108 beads. Mala, in Sanskrit means “garland”. Malas are meant to help you focus your mind during meditation. While Japa meditation is my favorite way to meditate, the beads themselves hold a powerful visual reminder throughout the day of the statement I meditated on and the tactile sensation brings me right back. When my mind wanders throughout the day, I can simply touch my mala and I am reminded of what statement I chose.

In meditation practice, Japa meditation holds a special place. It is the process of mentally repeating a mantra or speaking a phrase while meditating using a mala. The word Japa means muttering in Sanskrit. The meditative practice of Japa keeps the human mind steady and resistant to disturbance.

Meditation could mean different things to different people. I have written and taught how to transform meditation into mindfulness and how learning to live each moment in the state of mindfulness can change your life. While sometimes I have a “formal” meditation practice, it is often that my meditation/mindfulness practice takes shape in other ways.n

Many consider meditation as a quiet observation, wherein others often consider it a practice of self-awareness or reflection upon themselves. Either way, stillness and introspection is an amazing insight to your daily life.

I love to practice Japa meditation because for me it helps me to focus on a powerful statement, 108 times. It embeds in my spirit something positive and powerful. Plus the tactile use of the mala adds an element to the meditation that my mind enjoys. I have several Malas—some are made of stones like jasper and agate but my favorite is a sandalwood mala that has become richer over times as I use it.

The practice of Japa creates beneficial mental pathways and is a strong technique for focusing the mind and harnessing the subtle powers of the body/mind. I have seen this practice in my students many times as we learn Japa together. Some have even purchased mala beads to continue on their own.

How to practice Japa meditation:

Japa meditation is practiced by moving your fingers along a mala or the strings of beads known as Japa mala. There are many types of Japa that include speaking the mantra aloud, whispering the mantra or silently repeating the mantra. I prefer to be silent. There is also a technique you can use if you don’t have a string of mala beads. You can see that technique in this video.

Now that you know how to practice Japa, choose a powerful statement and try it.

Here are some positive affirmations to try:
  • I am calm
  • I am centered
  • I am in control
  • I am loved
  • I am grateful
  • am worthy of what I do and speak
  • I am valued and loved
  • I am allowed to put myself first
  • I am safe
  • I am secure
  • I release all my shame that I am holding
  • I love my body and what it does for me.

Most often, I simply say “I am____” and follow it with a variety of words like patient, strong, healthy, resilient, powerful, etc.

Are you going to give it a try?

* this is my sandalwood mala and a Sanskrit word Shanti tattoo which translates to peace

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Twigs and Trash

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In order to grow we must first remove what it is in the way.

For many years I have been teaching the concept that much like a garden we have outside, before we can plant anything and expect it to grow, we first have to remove all the old stuff, the trash and the things that are cluttering the soil. Today, as I was doing that exact literal thing in my backyard raking leaves and removing last years dead plants that were once so vibrant, I was reminded of the conversation I had this week with a group of men who have traumatic brain injures.

I teach this topic every March, regardless of who is in my classes because I think no matter who you are and what your life experience is, we all have something that is cluttering up our heart and therefore limiting the potential we have to grow. This might be something like fear, disappointment, regret, guilt, shame, resentment, anger or any other feeling and emotion that we have carried around for days or decades.

As I was guiding a meditation about visualizing a garden and seeing the old growth, the twigs and the trash, I asked them each to see a garden in their heart that may also have some things that could be getting in the way of growth.

I shared with my ‘frat house’ that they have fondly referred to themselves as, that I have some disappointment that is taking up space in my own heart. I carry it day after day, year after year and despite all my attempts to pull it out, it seems to have a root system that is deep and new shoots pop up and take over my heart at times.

As we had a discussion about this, they called me out on it and the wise man who developed a life changing brain tumor at age 23 gave me the best insight on how to manage all the little twigs and trash that take up space. He is turning 60 in a a few weeks and following his diagnosis while in his final year of college his life has been a series of assisted living settings and long term support. He lost his independence and so much more, and yet is so wise.

Are you ready for this? In my humbleness, I asked how does one remove all the “twigs and trash” from our hearts. I asked how do I remove the disappointment?

He shared that you can never fully rid of every twig or piece of trash that has landed in the garden, instead you have to learn to manage and grow around them.

Huh, I said.

Tell me more, I said.

He went on to say that the remnants of the the “twigs” and “trash” will likely always be there and sometimes they may stick out of the soil and poke you but our job is to plants things around them so the beauty takes over.

Again, I asked how.

The wise teacher said:

  • forgiveness
  • acceptance
  • gratitude

When we forgive ourselves and others we remove so much of the garbage that fills our heart. This removes resentment, bitterness, and what-if thinking. When we accept was IS we no longer grieve for what might have been which brings presence to growing today. And finally, when we focus on being grateful we see all that we have, not all that we do not have.

How’s that for insightful?

It’s not so much about removing the parts of our heart that impede growth, but rather moving them aside through forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude so that we make space for something far more amazing to grow.

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Simply a Reflection

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The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.

rumi

Tell me what do you love or admire about yourself?

I asked this question in all of my adaptive and traditional Yoga classes last week as we delved into the idea of Self-Love. The answers often are so sad when it comes to my students with brain injuries. You see these people have lost what most of us value and are having to rediscover the aspects of themself that they actually like. Most have lost their livelihood, their purpose, their families, their independence, their freedom to come and go, and oso much more. When they look in the mirror they often see the challenges and the impact of the injury so finding the qualities within can usually be really challenging. I also have enjoyed asking my group of students that are all over the age of 85 and living in assisted living. I am startled that so few of them can proclaim something that they love about themselves. Perhaps it is a generational thing where they didn’t spend as much time as younger people these days who seem consumed with the Self.

The answer seem to be so hard for them to find.

I ask the question anyway and the answer is usually that they are blank on what they love about themselves.

I keep asking, though.

On one particular day in a class that included a range of ages and abilities, I asked a woman living with a brain injury who is close to my age and is often very down on herself the question. When I asked her what she liked about herself her eyes dropped down to the ground and she quietly said, “nothing”. She was hunched over with her arms on her legs looking so hopeless and sad. This woman is so kind, so willing, so sweet and is so beautiful.

I knelt down so that I was in her eye gaze and asked again. And again, I got the same response.

I knew that I was about to open a beautiful can of worms and an opportunity to teach exactly what Rumi was saying.

I turned the question around. I asked this woman what she liked about me. She looked at me and easily said, “You are brave, and strong and so beautiful”.

We smiled at each other and I looked into her eyes.

My response was this—I am simply a reflection of you. What exists in me is also in you otherwise you would not recognize it. We are indeed a mirror reflection of each other.

She sat tall and said, “really?” Yes my sweet friend, really.

I learned this concept many years ago and try to always remember it, especially when I am with someone who feels that they are not enough or someone who struggles with identifying what makes them special. I ask them to think about someone they admire and what qualities do they see in them that they like? It is those qualities that also exist in ourselves.

Consider that. What you see in others exists in you. Kindness, integrity, compassion, love, bravery, beauty, honesty, humor, etc. If it was not part of you and familiar, you would not recognize it.

The tricky and often sticky part about this is that when we also see a quality within others that we find less appealing, it is because that too is familiar in us. When this happens to me I say, “ahhhhhh yes, there you are to remind me what I am here to work on”.

When we stumble through those ordinary days of self doubt and wondering what is really good about ourselves this can be an amazing concept to return to. When we feel burdened by life’s hardness and separate from the ideals in which the world has attempted to create, and we feel so less than, simply look into the eyes of someone you admire and know that the only way you can see those qualities is because they also exist in you.

It is familiar. It is a mirror reflection of yourself.

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A Common Question

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I get asked this question all the time—why can’t I just use oils from natural food stores or Amazon?

•doTERRA’s transparent testing assured me that the rigorous testing ensures pure and potent essential oils. If you can’t get access to the companies testing, I’d steer clear. Most store bought oils are adulterated and contain synthetic and potentially harmful ingredients, even though the label says “100% pure”.

•the sustainability practices for the earth play a huge part in what company you choose. Is the company honoring the earth by not depleting natural resources just to make a profit?

•the ethical treatment of growers and farmers.
doTERRA makes sure that farmers and growers are not just paid, but they help contribute to the greater good by providing hospitals, schools, water lines, jobs, training and better living quality of life. It’s a true honorable partnership based on ethics. This isn’t mass produced/grown in a green house fast production. Every drop changes the lives of growers. Imagine knowing that you’re going health investment is providing schools, healthcare, water and more to people all over the globe!!!?!

•the benefits of pure oils is clear. I used to use store bought and had minimal results when treating things like sleep and skin issues. Using pure and potent essential oils, I have successfully bettered my health and my families. I especially like the benefits for my students with brain injuries who respond intuitively and naturally without cognitive bias. This goes far beyond what smells good ?

This beautiful link explains how many lives are enriched by using doTERRA.

I have a special bonus for those ready to jump in or make the switch. Message me for details.

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DIY Lotion Bars

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Seriously? Lotion in a bar form? YES! These glide over your skin making your body feel (and smell) amazing. Using all natural ingredients you eliminate toxic junk from going into your body. Remember our skin absorbs EVERYTHING you put on it so those store bought bottles lotion contain lots of stuff that can be harmful over time for our bodies.

Making these is quick, easy AND fun. Plus, they make awesome gifts!

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup beeswax
  • ½ cup coconut oil
  • ½ cup cocoa butter
  • 1 teaspoon vitamin E oil
  • 15 drops of doTERRA essential oil

Recommended essential oils: my favorites are Citrus Bliss, Peppermint, Lavender.

Directions:

  • Measure all ingredients, except for essential oils, in large glass jar.
  • Place jar in saucepan with one to one and a half inches of boiling water.
  • Stir ingredients until combined.
  • Once melted, remove from heat. Let rest three minutes.
  • Add essential oils and stir or swirl jar.
  • Pour mixture into silicone mold.
  • Massage lotion bar on skin for moisture.
  • Wrap in a fun paper and tie with twine for a cute gift.

These are so fun! You can find the molds in my Amazon shop listed below and if you check out this handy ebook you can learn more about essential oils and how you can get the most pure and potent in your home.

Gratitude Diffuser Blend

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Gratitude is the #1 way to shift out of low frequency emotions like fear, grief, shame and lack… and into high frequency emotions like joy, peace, trust and love. Gratitude produces dopamine! Dopamine is our brain’s pleasure chemical. The more we think positive, grateful thoughts, the healthier and happier we feel. Amazing, eh?

What if you started saying 5 DIFFERENT things you’re grateful for every single day. Try it! it has changed my life!

Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.

I hope you enjoy this diffuser blend today and I invite each of you to pause for a moment, and recognize all that is GOOD!

Gratitude Essential Oil Blend

• Siberian fir; breaking negative emotional and spiritual patterns

• Frankincense; raise awareness, shine your bright light

• Grapefruit; appreciate who you are

• Wild Orange; abundance and bright future, gladness to the heart

• Geranium; heart opening, realize security in what you do have

• Clove; instills power, sense of protection, integrity

Amber chips—A fossilized tree resin, amber radiates laughter, vitality, and courage. This stone holds the protective energy of our beloved trees, the guardians of Earth. Radiating the golden ray, amber shines light on new paths as obstacles become the stepping stones of growth. Amplifying one’s life force and physical drive to fulfill one’s destiny of simply being human. Amber is a powerful healer and cleanser of the body, mind and spirit. It also cleanses the environment. Amber draws disease from the body, healing and renewing the nervous system and balancing the right and left parts of the brain. It absorbs pain and negative energy, helping to alleviate stress. Amber clears depression, stimulates the intellect and promotes self-confidence and creative self-expression. It encourages decision-making, spontaneity and brings wisdom, balance and patience.

This blend is also available to purchase!