Over the years I have shared my story and the path that has lead me to who I am and what I do as my purpose in the world. We all have a story that has put us on the path, or maybe you’re still seeking the path?
Here is what I know and believe wholeheartedly—the path is there, we choose to take the steps or turn away.
The way is right there. We know it in our gut, and yet like myself for many years we deny the way. We look elsewhere for love, joy, purpose, and contentment but when we take that first committed step on the path that is appearing, and despite the fear and unknown, we keep going and sure enough in time that path becomes the way.
I had a recent conversation with someone about body shame. For many years of my adult life I was heavy and carried around an extra 80 or so pounds. I have experienced fat-girl shame. It isn’t fun. And yet, I have also experienced skinny-girl shame. That isn’t fun either. I wonder sometimes why we can’t just be kinder people.
The answer for me came in the way of self love. I didn’t love who I was—not because I was fat but because I was toxic and heavy in every area of my life.
It was exhausting so I decided to love instead.
Simply love myself. As I began to love myself it became inherently easy to love others, too.
With my new found self love I came to know that I am an enneagram one. I am a perfectionist and I hold myself to high standards. I also am an overcomer of obstacles. I rarely see something as unobtainable or impossible. I see the good in most everyone and am exploding with positivity. It is unusual for me to be emotional (something I am trying to open myself up to). I am steady as steady can be. I thrive feeling safe.
Taking control of my health and my body fueled me and I began to thrive.
No shame in owning that.
I also struggle with daily chronic pain. It takes a ton of discipline to continue to work my body into its best health. I honor my body and refuse to let her down by focusing on pain or limitations. Instead I look her in the eye and tell her she can do it. I have a strong sense of self and am in awe of what my body can do.
No shame in owning that either.
As years go by, I continue to tenderly speak to the large sized woman I once was and thank her for being patient with me.
Being on both sides of the size spectrum and feeling both types of shame I am convinced we need to lose the shame game. Give people the grace to be who they are.
When you do some good work and if it inspires others, then you have just created the ripple effect. -Mohith Agadi
If you have been reading and watching awhile you know I have chosen a single word for my year for 19 years. This word acts as a compass for my thoughts, words and actions throughout the year. I create graphics, post notes, make screen savers, buy bracelets with the word embedded on it, I create essential oil blends to support my intention, I talk about it ALL THE TIME, and I basically embody the essence of the word and watch as my life adjusts. Sometimes the word and intention literally kicks my butt within days of declaring my intention and sometimes it takes months of work to reveal its magic.
It is a deep practice to me and one that I believe changes lives. For the entire month of January I basically ask anyone in my life what their word of the year is. If they look at me like I am crazy, I immediately dive into the readers digest version of the process and how we are all creators of our life.
I recently shared this lesson with the agencies serving adults with traumatic brain injuries that I teach adapt yoga and wellness in. Imagine my heart exploding when I learned today that over 30 individuals have chosen a word or theme for their year and have created affirmation cards for their bedroom. These are people with tremendous impact of disability and yet, they are showing up and doing the work.
I am so proud that one little (huge) lesson has impacted so many. This means that 30 people will be focused on living their best life, despite many challenges. It means that they will shift their focus from their limitations to what they want to create in their life.
They could choose to just be angry and wait until life takes them. They could be focused on being a victim and losing everything. They could be focused on the should have beens. They could have made excuses as to why it will never work.
Instead, they embrace a lesson and run with it.
That is the ripple effect that happens when someone does the work and then shares the life changing lesson with anyone willing to listen (or not). These brave people will be creating their best version of their life through the power of intention, and in return it will impact others. That is powerful.
So, are YOU ready to choose a theme for your year? Are you ready to create the life of your dreams?
“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Part of my wellness coaching is offering my clients an alternative to address common everyday ailments like sleep trouble, mood support, and general detox. These simple tools are appropriate for most populations and can be used with or without medications. I can almost guarantee tho that when you see how simple and easy (and natural) it is to treat common things you wont be reaching for the over-the-counter stuff that is packed with side effects. Here are my most requested and popular samples. I hope that you will soon see all of the versatile ways you can use essential oils in your home. It is hard to choose my favorites and keep it simple and approachable but let’s go! Just click on the highlighted text to learn about each one!
• doTERRA essential oils are extremely potent and some should not be applied directly on the skin without diluting them first (Cassia, Cinnamon, Clove, Thyme & Oregano to name a few)
• All citrus oils are photosensitive and should not be used on the skin for 12-24 hours prior to sun exposure
• Some but not all doTERRA essential oils are safe for internal use. Do not ingest an oil without triple checking if it is safe for dietary use
• Babies & the elderly are more sensitive to oils and extra dilution may be required
Balance (grounding blend). This powerful blend promotes tranquility, connectedness and well-being and has a powerful effect on the central nervous system. I like to apply to the back of my neck and under my nose throughout the day and before bed.
The warm, woody aroma of doTERRA Balance Grounding Blend creates a refreshing environment. We perfectly blend Spruce, Ho Wood, Frankincense, Blue Tansy, and Blue Chamomile with Fractionated Coconut Oil to offer an enticing fragrance that creates a tranquil and relaxing atmosphere. Spruce, one of the oils in doTERRA Balance, was used by Native Americans for health and spiritual reasons and is still used today to bring harmony to the mind and body.
Primary Benefits
Adds to a relaxing massage
Creates a calming atmosphere
When diffused, provides a tranquil aroma
Directions for Use
Diffusion: Use three to four drops in the diffuser of your choice.
Direct Inhalation: add two drops to your palms, cup your nose and breathe.
Topical use: Apply one to two drops to desired area. I love to add to unscented lotion and apply to my shoulders and neck. This is also lovely in the bath.
Lavender: Sourced from France + Bulgaria this is often considered the ‘swiss army knives’ of essential oils because of its versatile uses and safety for all ages, and animals. Lavender is a beautifying and calming oil.
Lavender oil has been used and cherished for centuries for its unmistakable aroma and variety of benefits. In ancient times, the Egyptians and Romans used Lavender for bathing, relaxation, cooking, and as a perfume. Its calming and relaxing qualities, when taken internally, continue to be Lavender’s most notable attributes. Applied topically, Lavender oil is frequently used to reduce the appearance of skin imperfections. Add to bath water to soak away stress or apply to the temples and the back of the neck. Add a few drops of Lavender oil to pillows, bedding, or bottoms of feet to relax and prepare for a restful night’s sleep. Due to Lavender’s versatile properties, it is considered the must-have oil to have on hand at all times.
Primary Benefits
Soothes occasional skin irritations
Taken internally, Lavender oil reduces anxious feelings and promotes peaceful sleep
Helps ease feelings of tension when used internally
Directions for Use
Diffusion: Use three to four drops in the diffuser of your choice.
Direct Inhalation: add two drops to your palms, cup your nose and breathe.
Internal use: Dilute one drop in 4 fl. oz. of liquid.
Topical use: Apply one to two drops to desired area (feet are a favorite place for this at bedtime), or on any scrape, bruise, cut, burn or abrasion. This is also great added to epsom salt in the tub.
Wild Orange: Sourced from Greece and Brazil the essential oil is expressed from the peel. It’s powerful aroma is energizing and uplifting when diffused or added to the palm of your hand to breathe in. I like to add one drop to sparkling water, smoothies and greek yogurt to flavor without having additional sugar. It supports toxin elimination from the body and stimulates the lymphatic system. It’s also excellent for disinfecting – whether you add a few drops to your diffuser to cleanse the air or add 10 drops to 1/2c vinegar + 1/2c water and voila – instant all purpose cleaner!
Packed with antioxidants, Wild Orange oil offers many benefits. Taken internally, Wild Orange essential oil supports digestion and cleanses the body. When diffused, Wild Orange refreshes and purifies the air with its bright and energizing aroma. Diffuse throughout the day during periods of low energy. It can be helpful and invigorating while studying or doing tedious tasks. You can also make a Wild Orange spritzer to freshen the air and cheer you up and to dispel fatigue and tension.
Primary Benefits
Diffuse, or inhale the aroma directly with help with anxious feelings
Topically apply on the belly for help with digestion
Diffuse or Topically for trouble sleeping
Topical use for nervousness
Internal use supports healthy immune function
Uplifting to the mind and body
Directions for Use
Diffusion: Use three to four drops in the diffuser of your choice.
Direct Inhalation: add two drops to your palms, cup your nose and breathe.
Internal use: Dilute one drop in 4 fl. oz. of liquid or in a plain yogurt, added to brownies or a smoothie are a few of my favorites
Topical use: Apply one to two drops to desired area. This is a great oil for belly aches, especially in children. Apply with a carrier oil.
Peppermint: Sourced from Washington where the highest amount of menthol is found in the peppermint leaves. My favorite essential oil for relieving tension headaches. Simply apply 1 drop to your hand and rub hands together. Take a deep inhale and then massage into temples being mindful too avoid the eyes. It is also fantastic to add a drop to your drinking water especially if you feel bloated/gassy.
The peppermint plant is a hybrid of watermint and spearmint and was first described by Carl Linneaus in 1753. A high menthol content—like that found in the doTERRA Peppermint essential oil—distinguishes the best quality Peppermint from other products. Frequently used in toothpaste and chewing gum for oral hygiene, Peppermint also helps alleviate occasional stomach upset and promotes healthy respiratory function when taken internally. Peppermint continues to be one of the bestselling favorites among doTERRA essential oils.
Primary Benefits
When ingested, promotes healthy respiratory function and clear breathing .
Promotes digestive health when taken internally.
Repels bugs naturally. You can put around the doorways and windows where ants and other insects enter.
Helps relieve occasional tension, aches and pains
Directions for Use
Diffusion: Use three to four drops in the diffuser of your choice.
Direct Inhalation: add two drops to your palms, cup your nose and breathe.
Internal use: Dilute one drop in 8-10oz of warm water to aid in digestion.
Topical use: Apply one to two drops to desired area. I love to apply this to my neck and jaw if I am having head tension, and I LOVE to use this in my shampoo, body wash and even a bubble bath.
Deep Blue (soothing blend). This is a game changer for anyone who experiences sore, tired, aching muscles and joints. The chemical constituents penetrate deep into the tissues to reduce discomfort. I just add 1-2 drops to a 1 tsp of carrier oil and massage into the area.
doTERRA Deep Blue is perfect for a soothing massage after a long day of work. Wintergreen, Camphor, Peppermint, Ylang Ylang, Helichrysum, Blue Tansy, Blue Chamomile, and Osmanthus work together to soothe and cool. After long hours on the computer, try rubbing Deep Blue proprietary blend on your fingers, wrists, shoulders, and neck. A few drops of Deep Blue Soothing Blend diluted in doTERRA Fractionated Coconut Oil can be part of a cooling and comforting massage.
Primary Benefits
Soothing and cooling oil blend
Comforting part of a massage
Excellent choice for aches and pains
Directions for Use
Topical use: Apply to desired area. Dilute with a lotion or carrier oil to get best coverage and absorption.
Adaptiv Calming Blend oil is perfect for life’s most stressful moments. Useful when a big meeting is coming up, or for other important events, Adaptiv Calming Blend helps improve sustained attention while easing the body and mind.
When stress and tension seem to be relentless, Adaptiv Calming Blend is the precise solution. Use Adaptiv to help get comfortable with new surroundings or situations. When a big meeting is coming up, or for other important events, keep Adaptiv Calming Blend on hand. In preliminary studies, the scent of Lavender, a main ingredient of Adaptiv, has been found to contribute to an environment conducive to performing tasks requiring sustained attention. Lavender, Magnolia, Neroli, and Sweetgum provide stress-relieving effects while Wild Orange and Spearmint energize and uplift. Copaiba and Rosemary soothe anxious feelings to round out the calming blend. Whether you’re feeling fatigued or restless, indecisive or irritable, Adaptiv Calming Blend is part of the toolbox to help the body and mind to stay balanced. Use Adaptiv Calming Blend in combination with the Adaptiv capsules for synergistic results.
Primary Benefits
Helps boost mood
Complements effective work and study
Increases feelings of tranquility
Soothes and uplifts
Calming and relaxing aroma
Directions for Use
Diffusion: Use three to four drops in the diffuser of your choice.
Direct Inhalation: add two drops to your palms, cup your nose and breathe. I like to swipe this under my nose and behind my neck.
Topical: this blend makes a great bath bomb or added to epsom salt.
There are over 200 different essential oil companies in North America – but they vary greatly in their chemical constituents. In fact about 98% of these other companies are only interested in the aromatic effects of their oils – many of them using synthetics to create that aroma. There are 3 reasons I chose to use doTERRA in my home + coaching:
All doTERRA oils are independently tested through 54 processes to ensure that the CPTG label represents the purest and most potent oils on the market today.
The oils are sourced across the globe where the plant grows abundantly as that is where the highest chemical constituent will be found for that plant.
The company culture is incredible. This was what drew me the most – I feel very aligned with the vision they have and the impact they are having on the world. I believe that your ‘vibe attracts your tribe’ and this is so evident in doTERRA.
It’s because of these 3 things that they became the largest essential oil company in the world. They have the respect of both the growing community across the globe & the medical community where the opportunity to use a therapeutic grade oil is evident in research and practice.
I know once you take the caps off – you’ll see the difference right away.
In addition to supplying the highest quality essential oils doTERRA is committed to making a positive difference in the lives of farmers, harvesters, and distillers who contribute to doTERRA’s oil production.
Co-Impact Sourcing creates shared value for all stakeholders in the supply chain by being at the source and intentionally implementing environmental stewardship and/or social impact initiatives. Co-Impact Sourcing seeks to develop long-term, mutually beneficial supplier partnerships while creating sustainable jobs and providing reliable income in underdeveloped areas. doTERRA is committed to the ethical treatment of its suppliers by providing on-time payments at fair prices. Growers and harvesters are encouraged to form cooperative groups to share collective benefits and bargaining power while improving skills and capacity.
Additionally, the doTERRA Healing Hands Foundation® helps support development projects in sourcing communities. Projects include schools, health clinics, improved infrastructure and clean water systems.
What I love so much about Co-Impact Sourcing is that I know that when I use a drop of oil or share samples with people like you, I am also helping families all over the world. How awesome is that?
There is something so powerful when like-minded people come together to learn and grow together. I realize that you can choose to buy your essential oils from anyone, but I hope you will resonate with my energy and vibe and feel like you fit and belong. I have a great community and opportunities to not just learn about essential oils and wellness, but a chance to grow as an individual and be encouraged to be the best version of yourself. In addition to essential oils, I also teach topics like gemstones, meditation and mindfulness, and yoga. Feel free to check out my other services and learn a little bit more about me. I would love to link arms with you.
In addition to the ongoing support and mentoring that you will receive in your essential oil and wellness journey, you will become part of a beautifully soulful tribe of women who are all linked in bringing light to the world.
Plus when you get started with me you will get a wonderful welcome package from me that includes resources, glass bottles and other fun things to get you started.
How Would You Like to Change Your Life?
Now you know how and why plant medicine is so powerful, but how would you like for that to create change for YOU and your family?
Would you like to feel more energy? Would you like to experience less pain? Would you like to feel happier and more joyful? Would you like to feel less anxious? Would you like to breathe better? Would you like to have a stronger immune system? Would you like to sleep better? Take just a minute and jot down your top health concerns…All the areas you would like to see improve!
If you’d like to personally connect with me, go over your health concerns and create a wellness plan with essential oils just click the button below! I look forward to connecting with you!
You have two options that I recommend the most to get essential oils into your home. You can buy essential oils at retail price, or you can become a wholesale customer (think along the lines of how SAM’s and Costco work…) and get 25% off retail prices!
The wholesale customer fee is only $35 to join, but if you get a kit that membership fee is waived! I love these kits because they are a sampling of the most widely used essential oils. It gives you the opportunity to get a bundle of essential oils at a huge discount.
This is my favorite bundle and covers everything you’ll need to get started.
$160 WHOLESALE
doTERRA Healthy Start Kit (5 mL Bottles)
Lavender
Lemon
Peppermint
Tea Tree
Oregano
Frankincense
Deep Blue®
doTERRA Breathe®
doTERRA On Guard®
Brevi® Stone Diffuser
Wellness Advocate Introductory Packet
FREE Wholesale Membership
Welcome Gift
The biggest mistake is investing in essential oils and then not knowing how to use them. I will make sure that you have everything you need to get started.
Your welcome package will include a resource book, a few glass bottles to start making your own blends, and a few other goodies.
Once you get your essential oils in your hands we will set up a personal meeting (virtual or in person) to answer questions and go over some initial protocols for getting started using your oils.
Plants are our food, oxygen, and medicine. Some even say they are one of the most pleasurable experiences on earth! From the flowers to the trees and the seas filled with coral dreams; the earth’s natural flora has inspired and enhanced humans for as long as time can tell. That’s why the power of plants is the key to unlocking our enjoyment of life.” ? Natasha Potter
Essential Oils are similar to other things we try to help ourselves feel better in the fact that each oil is not going to have the exact same effect on every single person. So if you use an oil and don’t get the results you are looking for, that’s OK, we can try something else. I like to say that learning to use essential oils is much the same as learning to cook–some trial and error, a good book and someone you can ask questions is the way we learn! Check out this free downloadable ebook to get the basics!
Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life.
With over fourteen years experience, Stacie Wyatt is a E-500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance, Certified Brain Injury Specialist, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor. Stacie is also certified in Integrative Movement Therapy™and is also a believer in the power and application of essential oils for health and wellness and proudly shares doTERRA essential oils.
Stacie brings her personal life experience of raising a daughter with a disability and over 12 years working in special education to her everyday Yoga classes.
In addition to teaching a variety of Yoga and Wellness classes, Stacie also continues to offer Yoga and Wellness coaching individually to those seeking private sessions.
If you’ve been following me you may have seen that I have chosen to put a little effort into being vulnerable this year. Looking at me from the distance – or sometimes even for those close to me – I appear to be unstoppable, strong, creative, successful, determined, and without a doubt a true overcomer. That is all true.
You may have also seen that I also opted to explore vulnerability in my life this year and dip my toes into a little “emotional exposure” as Brené Brown so eloquently says. Well, emotional exposure was proving to begin with a big bang.
Fear and uncertainity started to show up in big ways as soon as I declared I was ready to look vulnerability in the eye. It is one thing to feel these things, but I have a tendency to keep those big emotions to myself so the exposing of them was almost was big as feeling them.
So to be really open and honest, I have been fighting my way from slipping down into the depths of huge feelings of fear like I have never been over the last few weeks. Seems that since the declarative statement of what I was willing to improve in my life, vulnerability said “let’s just see how you can handle real big feelings”.
Thinking I am in complete readiness for my upcoming major hip overhaul, suddenly I was overcome with fear. Big time terror day after day. Waking up in the night fear. Shaking fear. Pit of the stomach fear. Gripping fear.
I told myself over and over that people get hip replacements all the time and yes most people do fine. But that is not a blanket statement my mind easily accepted. Of course we also hear about the 82 year old grandma who gets a new hip and is at the social club within a week which can make for some serious unhealthy comparison.
The fear began to battle comparison and I was questioning myself more than I ever have. Would my body and dysfunctional immune system accept the new hip? How much would my life be changed? How much will I have to rely on others to help me? How much time would I be away from work? Would I still be in pain? Would I ever be able to practice yoga the way I do? Will I get another blood clot? Will I get an infection? What if…? What if …? But what if…..? Over and over and over and over.
You see this isn’t a classic case of having bone on bone joint issue or severe arthritis. My joint is in perfect health and every doctor who has looked at the images scratches their head and wonders if that will address the pain. I have had three grueling tissue repairs on this previous hip and I still have a tremendous amount of pain and inflammation so the theory with my beloved surgeon whom I trust with my life is to remove the joint and closely surrounding tissue and give my body a clean, new joint which may greatly reduce my constant pain. The word “may” started to feel really scary as the days for closer.
I begged for silent moments of clarity. I pleaded with my conscious to give me insights. I walked and screamed at the sky to help me.
Is living in pain an option? Absolutely. Is enduring torturous fear an option? Hell no.
As I navigated this very unusual emotion over the course of the last few weeks I was startled at the physical changes that were occurring in my body. I am an incredibly steady and stable woman so to feel such intensity in an unfamiliar emotion was taking a toll. I had a racing heart all hours of the day, eating was incredibly hard, I felt like I had adrenaline running 24/7 through my veins, and I was experiencing deep pain in my belly every time I thought about laying on that stainless steel table for the 4th time. Of course the turmoil in my solar plexus was my first indication that my gut was telling me to listen. As the days ticked off I had more and more gut instinct knowing.
In my yogic thinking world what I was experiencing was a complete mind/body interaction where my intuition, or gut instinct, which is essentially our solar plexus where decisions are made and our personal power is being stoked like a fire. Feeling my personal power escape my body while making a life altering decision was sending my body into real time horror.
What if I chose to not listen to the language my body was speaking? What if I opted to ignore the screaming inside my body to pause and ask more questions? Despite the four second opinions there was still so much uncertainty about if this was truly the right direction to take, and yet my instinct knew it was not.
The moment that I stepped into my personal power and reclaimed clarity, it all stopped. I felt lighter. I felt myself gather up all that I know and feel about myself and feel empowered with clarity and much needed hope. A conversation with my surgeon late in the day where he reassured me that it was indeed a good decision to wait validated for me what I already knew.
I think we all have the capacity to know what our bodies need. We may not know the details to a solution like a complex surgery or diagnosis, but we do know when something feels off. We do know when our personal power is being threatened. We do know when we are right.
Vulnerability knocked on my door hard these first thirteen days of the year. But I welcomed her as a messenger and proudly reached out to a handful of safe people to pour my heart out. I revealed my fears and uncertainties. I spoke my vulnerability.
And when I did, sure enough clarity overtook fear.
I learned so much over the last few weeks about the subtle and not so subtle ways our body speaks to us, and that when we don’t feel something is right, to listen and then talk about it. Our voice is powerful and like anything, the more we do it the easier it becomes.
The hip surgery is on hold. Maybe forever but for sure in the near future. I am going to focus on the needs of my body that are determined with certainty like a quick knee scope, addressing some back issues with natural options and getting even healthier and stronger than I am—mind, body and spirit. Maybe the ol’ hip will calm itself down and all will be well.
Among all this chatter about resolutions and goals, I also find that during the depths of the long winter darkness, it is also a wonderful time for us to investigate the deep shadows within. I do believe that it is only when we see the shadow or darkness we can see the brightness of our own light.
Some people say to not waste time looking at the darkness of ourselves, instead only see the light, but the wise ones know that without the shadow you could not see the light.
I am digging into this topic this month as we look at being in alignment with not only our word of the year and intention, but also in alignment, with showing up as a person bearing the most beautiful light, and that requires us to also look at the shadow and dark corners of ourselves. You know things like fear, judgment and shame.
In my own personal life, I am looking straight into the eye of fear. Some thing that I don’t typically experience or feel much of on a day-to-day basis. But the looming of something coming very soon is bringing up in me fear. But on the other side of fear, there is always courage and faith.
Heat coconut oil over medium heat; add onion, garlic, and fresh ginger. Cook until onion is translucent then add carrots and sauté five to seven minutes.
Add tomato paste, curry powder, and red pepper flakes; cook for another one to two minutes stirring constantly until all vegetables are coated and flavors combined.
Add vegetable broth, coconut milk, diced tomatoes, and lentils. Cover and bring to a boil on medium high heat; reduce to simmer (low heat).
Add Lemongrass oil and cook for approx. 30 minutes until lentils are cooked through. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Add spinach and stir until wilted.
Garnish with one tablespoon fresh chopped cilantro and one tablespoon sour cream.
Tip: Add some brown sugar for a sweeter curry taste. Adding a drop of Lime oil to the cilantro and sour cream garnish is also delicious.
Using essential oils in a variety of ways including internally should be done with some education and awareness. Choosing essential oils that are tested for purity is key.
Learn more about how to use oils and which ones are helping humanity and the planet here. I’d love to walk you through choosing the best for your family.
If we want to reclaim the essential emotional part of our lives and reignite our passion and purpose, we have to learn how to own and engage with our vulnerability and how to feel the emotions that come with it. – Brené Brown
It is not like I didn’t know this. I mean, I took a semester long course with Brené Brown and stepped into the world of Daring Greatly and succeeded on many levels. And it’s not like I have not practiced being vulnerable—I left a toxic relationship, quit my job to pursue my passion, bought a house knowing it is all on me and more. I nailed it and became super empowered in the process.
Vulnerability seemed to be a thing I thrive at. Give me a life altering challenge and I will without a doubt do well. But is that really all vulnerability is?
According to Brené vulnerability is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
For the last couple months I have been listening to these little soul taps to look under vulnerability. To take a closer look that isn’t about becoming a badass and destroying a challenge. There was a whispering of something softer and different.
And also incredibly scary. I denied those little whispers and wanted desperately to choose a word that was easier and likely something I am already good at.
Seems to me I am able to easily handle uncertainty and risk on some levels but emotional exposure—never.
Maybe it’s my tendency to lean towards Capricorn strength and tenacity while also being a fiery redhead that gives me an unstoppable approach to life’s challenges. I don’t think raising three kids successfully alone could have been achieved any other way, but this is deeper than action. This is way deeper.
Control has always been something that brings me safety. Controlling my environment and the people I let in. Controlling my business and finances with a sharp eye. Controlling my physical health despite lots of pain by working my body to its best health. Controlling my emotions by not putting myself into situations where I might cry (or laugh). Controlling what I need by never asking for help. Exhausting maybe?
Huh.
That all sounds like emotional exposure. Doing something anyway not knowing what the response or outcome might be. Sticking my neck out and hoping for the best.
Being seen.
This is about not just being seen for what I have overcome or what I do. It will require me to being willing to reveal parts of myself that are tucked safely deep down and to do what is uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone.
I did a little exercise in my journal over the last week and here is how I see it:
Vulnerability is —failing, making a mistake, exposing myself publicly, crying, screwing up, feeling scolded, asking for help, not perfecting something, feeling needy or dependent on others, asking for what I need or want and feeling out of control.
Vulnerability feels like—crushing sensation in chest, upset stomach, short breath, panic to flee, racing heart, avoidance.
Vulnerability lookslike— finishing and publishing the book that has been written, asking for help, receiving help, communicating openly with others, asking to be on more podcasts, letting go of some of my high self standards (not failing), finding resolution and peace with pain, being okay with my emotions and letting my emotions be seen.
For 2023 I give myself permission to fail or to succeed. I give myself permission to not do it all alone. I give myself permission to reveal and unfold in a way that stays in alignment with my soul but also welcomes risk. I give myself permission to be seen.
Deliberate is defined as done consciously and intentionally.
I chose DELIBERATE as my word for 2022 because I wanted to be more in tune with the choices I was making and what I was saying yes to. It has become a it overused to say “boundaries” and I wanted a softer approach to how I began to create some space in my life. I opted to think of my choices as filling the margins rather than having boundaries around my time or myself. I knew that after my previous year of refining my life I was ready to take it to the next level with pausing before I said yes to anything, and also being very intentional with my communication.
Early in the year I decided to carve out Friday as my day to only choose things that led to life I was trying to create. Previously I had a tendency to say yes to everything and everyone except myself which led to me often feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and at times resentful.
I am amazed at how setting an intention, pausing before saying yes and acting with a more conscious approach to life has become now a lifestyle. Of all the years I have been choosing a single word (about 18), this one had the most evident change in several different areas of my life.
Of course one of the biggest changes to my life was choosing that one day a week to be fully aware of what I put into the margins of my day. However, there were subtle changes to my style of communicating with others, especially under emotional strain. I took the same principle of pausing before speaking and the results were a much more peaceful commutation style and way more listening happening. I found that by slowing down I was able to clearly communicate my feelings and needs without sounded ungrateful or demanding. This was across people and situations. It was really amazing to see the shift in my communication enhancing my relationships.
I also found that as I commuted twice a week, driving sometimes up to 300 miles, I was very deliberate on the road and it became a very calm, focused almost meditation. The results were that as I became more intentional of my own driving, I was far less reactive to other peoples. This created delightful drives to work and I entered into my job with a very peaceful state.
As I flip back through my planner for the year I smile as I see how many great things happened on Fridays. Some of the adventures included:
•picking up golf clubs again and doing surprisingly well!
•hiking in my old favorite spots and rediscovering some of my old trails.
•lingering coffee shop dates alone where I could write or think or simply enjoy my coffee.
•mastering a pull up and a chin up became a late in the year goal and I claimed it! So fun!
•reading books during the day instead of just before bed where I usually read only a sentence or two before my eyes became too heavy.
•crocheting a few easy hats for myself and others is a great happy hour at home pastime.
•miles and miles of walks filled each day but I was able to log longer ones on Fridays.
•developing a deeper yoga practice was important to me this year and I found having a little more time allowed me to linger a bit on my mat.
•cultivating an amazing garden has been a pleasure of mine for years and each year it gets better! Fridays were weeding days and it is so soulful.
•massages are so important for my wellness and I found Friday afternoons to be the prime time for getting one.
•strength training became a must-do habit and I could not be more thrilled. I am so much stronger and have successfully achieved a pull up! I will never not life weights again.
I am so proud of myself for making this word stick and for the essence of what it means to be deliberate and to have it become a habit. I am way more balanced and definitely happier. I intend to continue my deliberate Fridays into next year and beyond.
Did you choose a word for your year? How did it play out in your world?
Grant me the courage To change what I am capable of changing And the grace To accept what is beyond my control And choose my battles wisely.
Please help me to fix what has fallen apart and is broken in my life That would benefit from being mended And accept what would not And move on accordingly.
Grant me the strength To fully seize each day And make the most of each moment Savouring the ones that provide me with joy, meaning and fulfilment
And remind me to treasure time spent with those I love And pursue my passions and what uplifts and energises me And focus on all that lies ahead of me Rather than all that lies behind me.
Please help me to embody love And radiate it to all whom I encounter Regardless of whether they remain in my life Or are no longer with me.
Please help me to remain calm and at peace During the chaos and shifting seasons of life And flow with it Understanding that everything is fleeting and temporary But that the true nature of who I am is eternal And more than this limited body And transitory physical experience
Please show me how to let go of fear, pain and resentment So I can feel light, unburdened and free And prioritise what is important While disregarding what is not.
Please comfort me in my grief And reassure me with the knowledge That I will one day be reunited with those I love who have left this reality But remain in spirit with me
And in the times when I am hurt May you show me how to heal and move forward
In the times when I feel small and fragile May you remind me of my inner strength
In the times when I feel weak May you remind me of my inner power
In the times when I feel lost May you help me rediscover purpose and meaning
In the times when I feel lonely and isolated May you remind me that everything is interconnected
And in the times when I have lost confidence and trust in myself May you help me remember who I am.
Words by Tahlia Hunter
(Inspired by the Serenity Prayer by Dr Reinhold Niebuhr)
How easy and how elegant are these!?! Your guests will think you toiled for hours when in truth these are a snap to make for a quick, yet amazing holiday dessert. They look super festive and taste amazing!
Put the graham crackers into a resealable bag and bash with a rolling pin into fine crumbs. Spoon the crumbs into the bottoms of small wine glasses.
Add the cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk to the bowl of an electric mixer and whip together until light and fluffy. Spoon into a pastry bag and pipe a big helping over the crumbs in each of the glasses.
Top with a couple of teaspoons of cherry pie filling, and top with a sprinkle of almond flakes and then add a mint leaf for garnish.
The word “solstice,” in Latin, means sun standing still, so in a sense, we could say the soul stands still on the solstice—maybe even long enough for you to catch a glimpse of it, as some legends say you can at this divine time of year. The darkest night contains the most magnetic power, too; this is a time to draw forth what you want, to incubate your best intentions.
As you enjoy the longest night and the brightest lights of the season, please remember this: your soul is the light of the world. You carry the light within you. You shine.
We cannot change the fact that life has heartbreaking challenges any more than we can change that winter has storms. Viktor Frankl wrote in his quintessential book, Man’s Search for Meaning, “When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”
When we or someone we love are in a storm, try to recognize the good alongside the bad, and find your inner resilience.
