Inspiration

Refinement

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Refinement. noun. the process of removing impurities or unwanted elements from a substance, the improvement or clarification of something by the making of small changes.

Each year for the last eighteen years I have chosen a single word. I like to think of the goals, resolutions and dreams that I have and funnel them down into one powerful I AM statement. Then I shave off the I AM and use that word to become the thread it which I plan to weave it into my life.

I intend to refine my business by eliminating the aspects that do not light a fire for me.

I want to teach in ways that I know are in alignment with who I want to be, not the outcome in which I think I want.

I intend to refine my personal life by learning to say yes to me.

I will say no to the things in my life that drain and exhaust me. I also intend to look closely at what I consume and make it even better.

I intend to refine my personal relationships by connecting on a deeper level to those who fuel and feed my soul.

I want to make time for those who give me something powerful to use to better myself. I want have a more refined outlook to my connections and make time for those who are deserving.

Years ago I decided that I did not like the job title of Yoga Teacher. I knew that I was much more than that so I began to refer to myself as the ‘Giver of Goodness”.

This is the year that I will refine that and become the “Giver fo Greatness”.

Release

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I love mindfully crafting essential oil blends together for an emotional purpose. Last month I wanted to offer one that could help facilitate a release of the years emotions. It smells heavenly and as apply it to my hands and take in three full complete breaths, I can feel the tension escape my body.

This RELEASE blend that was offered last month isn’t just for the year end. This is a blend to use anytime life shows up and becomes stuck in your body and heart.

Check out what is included in this RELEASE blend.

  • Thyme empties the soul of negativity, leaves the heart open wide. This oil helps with emotional release.
  • Lemongrass is the oil of cleansing. It helps us let go of toxic energy and negativity. It helps release limiting beliefs. It allows us to move past old trauma and to gain clarity to move forward.
  • Cypress is the oil of motion. Ever feel stuck? Cypress will help you let go of worry and the need for control, and help you have trust in the flow of life. It will help with getting unstuck and moving forward.
  • Peppermint is the oil of a buoyant heart. It is a very invigorating oil to both mind and body. It is an encouraging oil that helps us rediscover the joy of life and being alive!
  • Basil essential oil is helpful in dealing with feelings of anxiety, panic, or apprehension, and has been said to be the oil of “renewal”, both emotionally and spiritually. It provides strength and tranquility to the heart and mind, making it perfect for overwhelm, stress, fatigue, and may even assist a person in their efforts to overcome addiction–which makes it a great choice for overcoming ruminating thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviors that often result from toxic relationships
  • Cedarwood oil is a great oil for times of crisis or sudden change, such as when there is an adjustment in households, jobs, and/or relationships. These events often lead to feeling isolated or knocked off balance. Cedarwood provides feelings of stability and grounding when external circumstances threaten your feelings of stability. It also helps lessen fears that deter your ability to realize your potential.
  • Bergamot helps us transfer love back to ourselves. We can be so fixated on wanting other people to make us happy that we forget we can do that for ourselves. Bergamot is uplifting, has natural anti-depressant properties, and helps us to relax and regain self-confidence again. Bergamot oil helps us in the areas of self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance, self-judgment, and self-loathing. It instills validation within, allowing us to accept our own authenticity, and not spend so much time worrying about the opinions of others.
  • Frankincense. In addition to alleviating and eliminating depression, Frankincense is known as the “Oil of Truth”, revealing deceptiveness and false truths. It invites the individual to let go of lower vibrations, insults, and negativity. This oil helps create new perspectives based on integrity and enlightenment. Frankincense is a powerful cleanser of the spirit. It assists in removing malevolent energies attached to a person, allowing them to open to enlightenment. Addresses the emotions of abandonment and spiritual disconnectedness.
  • Lemon. In addition to its bright aroma, lemon is also a great cleanser and purifier. This is a perfect choice to bring clarity, focus and brightness to the end of the year.
  • Smokey Quartz–The Smoky Quartz crystal is a grounding stone known for its ability to help you move on from difficult or painful experiences. It guides you to a higher state of being, a place where you can let go of the past and welcome in the future.

2020 Year in Review

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Ahhhhh.the final day of 2020. It has been a transformative year for me in so many ways. When I pulled up my #bestnine photos I was happy to see that two of my favorite quotes made the cut.

Mindset IS everything.

Like so many people, my life that I knew came to an abrupt stop March 7th—my studio closed, the gym I taught at closed, the long term care centers and clinics I saw clients in closed, and my daughters adult day programming closed.I needed to generate an income to sustain my life AND meet the needs of my kid. Within 36 hours my entire business went online and I was again navigating meaningful and purposeful activities for my girl to do while at home, and still maintain her social skills, advocating skills and navigating the community.

My mindset HAD to shift, and shift quickly. What once was daunting to me, has now become second nature. I actually like the camera! And the growth I have seen in my daughter these last nine months has solidified my belief that the services in the community need a serious overhaul before I would consider putting her back in a program.

The other quote that popped up inspired me to be open to anything…to allow myself to become what I want by moving through the challenges with grace, hard work and a bunch of faith.The cute little gal in the photos showed up so much because my life changed SO much this year, I was able to spend weekly time with my little mini-me. The special bond that we have developed would not have happened if not for the major changes to my work schedule.

A major ankle surgery and looking forward to the next season of my life inspired me to practice radical self-love. To say no when I needed to, to take extra long bubble baths and be willing to receive help and accept a pace of healing that has been incredibly slow. I recognized the boundaries that were needed to keep my heart in a good space. I learned to let go.

For me, 2020 has been remarkable.

My word for 2020 was REVERENCE—a deep honor and respect for all things and experiences.

I’d say I embraced it beautifully.

Gratitude Practice

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I am a huge believer in a gratitude practice. A real, honest to goodness, emotionally charged gratitude practice.

Even though this has been a tough year, I think we always have something to be grateful for.

Need some help feeling it? Our sense of smell is directly tied to our brain, so a quick sniff can influence how we feel. This gorgeously crafted blend may be just the thing you need. It’s perfect and works wonderfully with your emotions and your brain to bring out a thankful heart.

Gratitude Blend

  • Siberian fir; breaking negative emotional and spiritual patterns
  • Frankincense; raise awareness, shine your bright light
  • Grapefruit; appreciate who you are
  • Wild Orange; abundance and bright future, gladness to the heart
  • Geranium; heart opening, realize security in what you do have
  • Clove; instills power, sense of protection, integrity
  • Amber chips—A fossilized tree resin, amber radiates laughter, vitality, and courage. This stone holds the protective energy of our beloved trees, the guardians of Earth.

Before these sell out, you can grab yours here! If you want to learn more about the basics of using essential oils, enjoy this free ebook.

Supporting Small Business

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When you donate to my yoga classes, buy essential oils from me or hire me to share yoga in your rehabilitation center or with a private client, you are supporting ME in my small business. YOU are helping me sustain my purpose and my livelihood.

I am content with what I have, however, securing a financial future for me and my daughter is why I work tirelessly most days of the week. When you look to buy gifts this year, think about the small businesses in your life and support them. You can buy essential oils anywhere, but if you choose to buy them from me you are supporting me and not the big box chains and you are getting top quality oils that are safe. Choose small this year because really you are choosing to make a difference in someone’s life.

I am a yoga teacher and mindfulness coach. I am a wellness coach. I am a doterra leader and essential oil advocate. I am a mom. I am a CNA to my disabled daughter. I am the voice for others. Thank you for supporting ME this year.

If you’re ready to change your life, perhaps I can help. Check out all my offerings.

Acknowledging the Goodness

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In recent weeks I have been coming up with strategies to ease my aching heart about the obviously very different Thanksgiving celebration that this year will hold. On one hand, I am incredibly grateful for the health and happiness within my family and close friends, but I am also allowing myself to feel the very real disappointment and sadness that is present when I face the grim reality that I won’t be spending this years annual holiday surrounded by food, festivities, and of course, family.

In the big picture I realize that it is just one day. One measly 24-hour period that can easily be made up when this all passes with a bounty of food and connection.

And yet, I also have a strong need to acknowledge the sadness and emptiness that the lack of tradition brings to my heart. There is in fact a hole that is empty of the connection that regardless of how busy our lives are, people come together for one day of family.

I will miss that.

I have given myself a few days to notice the missing parts of the tradition that I love so much. I love the hectic amount of cooking, the matching orange, brown and red table decorations, and even the ridiculous turkey shaped salt and pepper shakers. I love to see my sons interact and jive each other while their sister tries to sheepishly engage. I love to see the history of our lives be woven together again for a few short hours.

Now that I have had my time to feel what I feel, I am ready to rumble with making new traditions. I decided to switch up my classic food items a bit and prepare a few new dishes. After spending some time prepping yesterday I came to the realization that cooking for two is much easier than fourteen, so there is some beauty there. I also realized that my kids are making their own traditions and that is what I always wanted. I had always hoped that they would grow up to truly own their life and create experiences for themselves that nurture their unique spirit.

As the turkey gets put into the oven today, I am reminded of all the good. I have raised two fantastic men, I have a warm ad cozy house, my career fulfills me and I am truly loved. Those are the things that matter. The memories and traditions will be locked into my heart space with fondness, and today I choose to take abundant breaths and soak in the quietude of the day knowing that all is well.

The Pot (repost)

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This beautiful tale comes from my other, more personal blog but it is worth reading here. Being real and raw can invite such a healing.

For many, many years I have often thought of my internal state being that of a boiling pot of water.  Sometimes the water simmers and sometimes it is a raging boil.  The lid may slip off from time to time to allow some steam to release but for the most part I have keep the lid tightly sealed.

A lifetime of experiences and years of conscious choices to see the good and the potential in all situations has served me well and yet, the boiling water remained.  Always there under the surface of acceptance and gratitude.

Disability. Autism. Fear. Shame. Conditional love. Solitude. Survival. Abandonment. Fatigue. Gut-wrenching sadness. Grief.

Recently the day came when the pot erupted into an over-boil and the water scalded me and the all that raged inside me.  As if I was taking the lid off and pouring the wretched water out, I stepped into the deepest darkest caverns of my soul. I allowed any and all emotions to flood out as I poured this enormous pot of water out. Hot and blistering in its sensation, I conceded to its pain.

I cried. I sobbed. I yelled. I stomped.

I questioned God.

And then I withdrew into the emptiness of a pot no longer holding a lifetime of pain.  I sat in the stillness of a depleted and vacant space within my soul. Weakened by the rage and invigorated by the freedom of no longer holding the lid on tight, I felt empty.

In the space of barren feelings, I realized that being pissed off at the cards I was dealt is okay.  Certainly seeing the good in what the cards have offered me is healthy and a beautiful practice that I enjoy living, but denying myself to feel the pain has been destructive.  No more.

The vessel is dry and awaits to be filled with love and happiness.

How To Use Crystals

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Crystal energy is powerful but it’s not something the Western world yet truly knows how to define or describe. And yet they have been uses for centuries in many traditions and rituals. We’ve gotten so disconnected from nature and its healing abilities —from crystals to essential oils and herbs.

The beginning of my journey into crystals is a bit of a blur since at the time I was in the middle of what I call my great “wake up” and I was actively seeking a variety of holistic modalities. The first time I ventured into a crystal shop I was with a group of girlfriends following an amazing hike in the mountains. I was curious and unsure when I entered the store, but I remember very clearly feeling this draw to the rich dark orange of carnelian. I purchased a round carnelian stone ring and it remains one of my favorite pieces even after all these years. Carnelian is a beautiful stone perfect for creativity, boosts courage and self confidence, inspires actions and is an excellent stone for circulation, back problems, rheumatism, arthritis, neuralgia and depression. It accelerates healing in bones and ligaments and improves vitamin and mineral absorption and ensures good blood supply to organs and tissues.

Over the years I have collected many many crystals. I’ve also given away a lot of the crystals I’ve collected – to family members, friends and and students. I’ve also lost a few crystals along the way. They are funny like that – when their energy is no longer needed they will carry themselves back to the earth or find their way to someone who needs them. I’ve learned to not be disappointed but instead know that I got what I needed and now someone else will.

Today I keep crystals on my window sill, on the ledge of my bathtub, under my bed, in my pockets, in my wallet and the rest in a beautiful dishes around my home. It is not uncommon to see me grab one or two while I am chatting, journaling, or reading. I have my favorites and from time to time they change. My current favorite though is the large fluorite I hold in my hand while I am doing my early morning reading. It is so balancing.

When I look at my collection I am often able to link a certain crystal to a focus in my life – the pinks when I was needing to find unconditional love and acceptance, reds and browns when I was working on learning to stay grounded and steady, quartz, amethyst and selenite when I developed a deeper understanding of Oneness. I was drawn to green stones when I was learning joy and the connection to unconditional love. Yellows and oranges when I was working with ideas to manifest and remember all the abundance. Blues when I was strengthening my inner wisdom and learning to speak my truth.

For years I didn’t really talk about crystals or how I have come to use them. I just know they worked and I felt their power but I couldn’t describe their power or prove their abilities – and in the West, that unfortunately makes me naive and what I believe in and experience ‘not real’. Thankfully my heart persisted and crystals have become a prominent part of my life and now I love sharing with others.

Letting Go

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One of my favorite aspects to yoga and mindfulness is taking a deep look inside to find the parts of ourselves that aren’t serving our greatest good and decide to let it go. The volume of space we create is enormous and it allows something better to fall into that space.

In my personal life I have many decisions ahead of me. It’s honestly been a grueling time for me and some major changes for my daughter. I also have ankle surgery scheduled, but with so many unknowns I am debating whether now is the right time.

When life shows up like it has recently, I have to remember to go inside and let go of the fear, the anger and the worries. Much like a leaf that falls from a tree, I know when I let go of it, there is space. Space means clarity. In the space of clarity, I know I will find my way.

This months schedule for classes is also very unknown. Certainly that causes this very disciplined and schedule savvy girl to feel unsettled. It is likely that I am going to be watching the weather and offer warm sunny fall pop classes. I will still be adding videos to my online session collection AND I am super excited to offer a chakras series! This is a popular series and I can’t wait to share more about the details.

Let this month be a time where you truly let go of something that is weighing you down, or that you no longer need—just like that leaf that did it’s job, it also can now let go. Even fear and feelings of uncertainty can be useful, but eventually it’s time to let it go.

Carrying It Well

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Most people know I am not a complainer and that I always, always look for the good in most situations.

And I’m sure one day, I will find the good in this, too. Today, it feels anything but that.

Sure, I put on a smile and do my work. But the heaviness in my heart is ginormous.

Some of my closest friends know the recent unfolding of some devastating news. As a private person I intended to be quiet about this, too. But after thinking long and hard I realized that maybe by speaking it, someone will be inspired to see the need for serious changes in our world.

Since my daughter was 10 years old (she is 26), I have been her certified nurses aide. This allows her to have the help she requires and me to be paid for providing. I also receive health insurance through the home health care employer I work for.

Last week I learned that the state of colroado and the resource exchange has determined that she is no longer eligible to receive services.

What does that mean?

There are layers to implications to this. It means most importantly that if I were to die, she would NOT have the services in place for her to receive the care she needs, except in a completely inappropriate placement like a long term care center. Secondly, it means that this incredibly hard working woman now loses an income and worse, health insurance. And finally, it means she doesn’t get the services she needs and is eligible for. It is all handed back to the parents to do, and the state must think parents of special needs people live forever.

I have a much needed surgery scheduled in three weeks. I have multiple preexisting conditions that prevent me from getting AFFORDABLE insurance which leaves me to have to pay for incredibly expensive, limited, and costly out of pocket insurance that covers the minimum of what I need. And deserve.

For the pencil pusher at the state level and at the agency who oversees funding—how dare you.

I’m not sure what my next steps are. Perhaps get a j.o.b. and release my dream of what I’ve created. Perhaps I sit and do nothing but pay the premium and put off surgery until something better comes along.

Mostly I pray that one day people with disabilities will have the protests, rallies and out spoken support that other groups seem to get. Until then, this most vulnerable population gets swept under the rug, forgotten about except for their very tired family to deal with.

Principles to Live By

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In the Yoga world, Pantanjali wrote ancient texts thousands and thousands of year ago and have become the “rules” in which a Yogi attempts to live by. Part of the texts include the Yamas and Niyamas. The Yamas focus on the ethical standards of how we should conduct ourselves in daily life and the behavior to develop during interactions with the self and others. The five Yamas include truthfulness, non violence, non stealing, non greed, right energy. The five Niyamas are constructive tools for cultivating happiness and self-confidence and they are purification, contentment, self-discipline, self study, and self surrender.

As I have been going back to studying the Sutras, reviewing these principles is always a rich self exploration, especially during this month as I have been teaching my classes around the concept of understanding the foundation of our spirit.

Over the years I have found that knowing (and living within) my values or principles is paramount for my success and overall well-being. When I step aside from them and life becomes challenging, as it often does, I am less likely to respond well.

In contemplative questions, it is useful to ask yourself what are some of the core principles in which you live by.

I like to think of the foundation of a home being what sustains the rest of the structure when storms come by, or the roots of tree that holds it upright during turmoil.

As I have been looking inward and reviewing the Yamas/Niyamas, I spent a few weeks discovering the ten principles in which I live by.

I have come to learn that when we know who we are, we can begin to show up in life through our thoughts, words, and actions in alignment with that inner truth. Knowing who we are is very different than what we are. To learn more about labels, check out this post.

I know when I am showing up outside of these parameters or guidelines because I get easily rattled, I am quick with sharp words, I am impatient and easily overwhelmed. When I am in my truth and aligned with these principles, I feel the wholeness of who I am and know that I am showing up in my most authentic self.

Have you ever thought about what guides you? What your foundation is?

After several weeks of pondering, here are my ten principles.

My Ten Principles

  1. Faith (in my purpose)
  2. Service (to do without gain)
  3. Kindness (just be kind)
  4. Acceptance (for everything)
  5. Diligence (don’t half ass)
  6. Action (necessary for success)
  7. Awareness (stay awake to now)
  8. Belief (knowing, empowering)
  9. Fulfillment (attention to good)
  10. Love (act in alignment with my heart)

Follow me for more goodness

Personal Yoga Practice

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I get asked a lot about my personal practice. The assumption might be that I am always on my mat in my gorgeous studio.I do practice Yoga everyday. But, the Truth is I unroll my mat mostly when I feel a disconnection.

I come to my mat to feel…to nurture my body…to connect with my sensations. I don’t practice asana (postures) everyday. Having a Yoga practice doesn’t have to be physical.

So yes…I practice everyday, but I come to my mat when I need to plug into my soul, and connect my physical body to that beautiful place inside.

You don’t “do yoga”. You are Yoga….Become Yoga…leave the “doing” for something else.

If you are wanted to learn the deeper aspects the practice of Yoga, I would love to chat with you. Send me a message and we will connect.