Author: embracingspirit

Fear is Big…Clarity is Bigger

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If you’ve been following me you may have seen that I have chosen to put a little effort into being vulnerable this year. Looking at me from the distance – or sometimes even for those close to me – I appear to be unstoppable, strong, creative, successful, determined, and without a doubt a true overcomer. That is all true.

You may have also seen that I also opted to explore vulnerability in my life this year and dip my toes into a little “emotional exposure” as Brené Brown so eloquently says. Well, emotional exposure was proving to begin with a big bang.

Fear and uncertainity started to show up in big ways as soon as I declared I was ready to look vulnerability in the eye. It is one thing to feel these things, but I have a tendency to keep those big emotions to myself so the exposing of them was almost was big as feeling them.

So to be really open and honest, I have been fighting my way from slipping down into the depths of huge feelings of fear like I have never been over the last few weeks. Seems that since the declarative statement of what I was willing to improve in my life, vulnerability said “let’s just see how you can handle real big feelings”.

Thinking I am in complete readiness for my upcoming major hip overhaul, suddenly I was overcome with fear. Big time terror day after day. Waking up in the night fear. Shaking fear. Pit of the stomach fear. Gripping fear.

I told myself over and over that people get hip replacements all the time and yes most people do fine. But that is not a blanket statement my mind easily accepted. Of course we also hear about the 82 year old grandma who gets a new hip and is at the social club within a week which can make for some serious unhealthy comparison.

The fear began to battle comparison and I was questioning myself more than I ever have. Would my body and dysfunctional immune system accept the new hip? How much would my life be changed? How much will I have to rely on others to help me? How much time would I be away from work? Would I still be in pain? Would I ever be able to practice yoga the way I do? Will I get another blood clot? Will I get an infection? What if…? What if …? But what if…..? Over and over and over and over.

You see this isn’t a classic case of having bone on bone joint issue or severe arthritis. My joint is in perfect health and every doctor who has looked at the images scratches their head and wonders if that will address the pain. I have had three grueling tissue repairs on this previous hip and I still have a tremendous amount of pain and inflammation so the theory with my beloved surgeon whom I trust with my life is to remove the joint and closely surrounding tissue and give my body a clean, new joint which may greatly reduce my constant pain. The word “may” started to feel really scary as the days for closer.

I begged for silent moments of clarity. I pleaded with my conscious to give me insights. I walked and screamed at the sky to help me.

Is living in pain an option? Absolutely. Is enduring torturous fear an option? Hell no.

As I navigated this very unusual emotion over the course of the last few weeks I was startled at the physical changes that were occurring in my body. I am an incredibly steady and stable woman so to feel such intensity in an unfamiliar emotion was taking a toll. I had a racing heart all hours of the day, eating was incredibly hard, I felt like I had adrenaline running 24/7 through my veins, and I was experiencing deep pain in my belly every time I thought about laying on that stainless steel table for the 4th time. Of course the turmoil in my solar plexus was my first indication that my gut was telling me to listen. As the days ticked off I had more and more gut instinct knowing.

In my yogic thinking world what I was experiencing was a complete mind/body interaction where my intuition, or gut instinct, which is essentially our solar plexus where decisions are made and our personal power is being stoked like a fire. Feeling my personal power escape my body while making a life altering decision was sending my body into real time horror.

What if I chose to not listen to the language my body was speaking? What if I opted to ignore the screaming inside my body to pause and ask more questions? Despite the four second opinions there was still so much uncertainty about if this was truly the right direction to take, and yet my instinct knew it was not.

The moment that I stepped into my personal power and reclaimed clarity, it all stopped. I felt lighter. I felt myself gather up all that I know and feel about myself and feel empowered with clarity and much needed hope. A conversation with my surgeon late in the day where he reassured me that it was indeed a good decision to wait validated for me what I already knew.

I think we all have the capacity to know what our bodies need. We may not know the details to a solution like a complex surgery or diagnosis, but we do know when something feels off. We do know when our personal power is being threatened. We do know when we are right.

Vulnerability knocked on my door hard these first thirteen days of the year. But I welcomed her as a messenger and proudly reached out to a handful of safe people to pour my heart out. I revealed my fears and uncertainties. I spoke my vulnerability.

And when I did, sure enough clarity overtook fear.

I learned so much over the last few weeks about the subtle and not so subtle ways our body speaks to us, and that when we don’t feel something is right, to listen and then talk about it. Our voice is powerful and like anything, the more we do it the easier it becomes.

The hip surgery is on hold. Maybe forever but for sure in the near future. I am going to focus on the needs of my body that are determined with certainty like a quick knee scope, addressing some back issues with natural options and getting even healthier and stronger than I am—mind, body and spirit. Maybe the ol’ hip will calm itself down and all will be well.

Yay for vulnerability….round one complete.

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Exploring the Darkness

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Among all this chatter about resolutions and goals, I also find that during the depths of the long winter darkness, it is also a wonderful time for us to investigate the deep shadows within. I do believe that it is only when we see the shadow or darkness we can see the brightness of our own light.

Some people say to not waste time looking at the darkness of ourselves, instead only see the light, but the wise ones know that without the shadow you could not see the light.

I am digging into this topic this month as we look at being in alignment with not only our word of the year and intention, but also in alignment, with showing up as a person bearing the most beautiful light, and that requires us to also look at the shadow and dark corners of ourselves. You know things like fear, judgment and shame.

In my own personal life, I am looking straight into the eye of fear. Some thing that I don’t typically experience or feel much of on a day-to-day basis. But the looming of something coming very soon is bringing up in me fear. But on the other side of fear, there is always courage and faith.

Keep watching and keep waiting. More to come.

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Coconut Lemongrass Soup

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This soup is absolutely delicious and is one of those soups that tastes even better the next day.

Add some crusty hot bread for an extra treat. It is warm and satisfying and perfect all year long.

Ingredients
2 tablespoons coconut oil
2 large onions, peeled and chopped
4 cloves garlic finely chopped or pressed
1 tablespoons fresh ginger root, minced
1–2 drops Lemongrass oil
4 tablespoons tomato paste
4 carrots, peeled and chopped
4 tablespoons curry powder
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
8 cups vegetable broth
2 cans coconut milk
4 cups fresh tomatoes, chopped
3 cups dried red lentils
4–6 handfuls baby spinach
Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

  1. Heat coconut oil over medium heat; add onion, garlic, and fresh ginger. Cook until onion is translucent then add carrots and sauté five to seven minutes.
  2. Add tomato paste, curry powder, and red pepper flakes; cook for another one to two minutes stirring constantly until all vegetables are coated and flavors combined.
  3. Add vegetable broth, coconut milk, diced tomatoes, and lentils. Cover and bring to a boil on medium high heat; reduce to simmer (low heat).
  4. Add Lemongrass oil and cook for approx. 30 minutes until lentils are cooked through. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
  5. Add spinach and stir until wilted.
  6. Garnish with one tablespoon fresh chopped cilantro and one tablespoon sour cream.

Tip: Add some brown sugar for a sweeter curry taste. Adding a drop of Lime oil to the cilantro and sour cream garnish is also delicious.

Using essential oils in a variety of ways including internally should be done with some education and awareness. Choosing essential oils that are tested for purity is key.

Learn more about how to use oils and which ones are helping humanity and the planet here. I’d love to walk you through choosing the best for your family.

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Word 2023 — Vulnerability

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If we want to reclaim the essential emotional part of our lives and reignite our passion and purpose, we have to learn how to own and engage with our vulnerability and how to feel the emotions that come with it. – Brené Brown

It is not like I didn’t know this. I mean, I took a semester long course with Brené Brown and stepped into the world of Daring Greatly and succeeded on many levels. And it’s not like I have not practiced being vulnerable—I left a toxic relationship, quit my job to pursue my passion, bought a house knowing it is all on me and more. I nailed it and became super empowered in the process.

Vulnerability seemed to be a thing I thrive at. Give me a life altering challenge and I will without a doubt do well. But is that really all vulnerability is?

According to Brené vulnerability is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.

Huh.

For the last couple months I have been listening to these little soul taps to look under vulnerability. To take a closer look that isn’t about becoming a badass and destroying a challenge. There was a whispering of something softer and different.

And also incredibly scary. I denied those little whispers and wanted desperately to choose a word that was easier and likely something I am already good at.

Seems to me I am able to easily handle uncertainty and risk on some levels but emotional exposure—never.

Maybe it’s my tendency to lean towards Capricorn strength and tenacity while also being a fiery redhead that gives me an unstoppable approach to life’s challenges. I don’t think raising three kids successfully alone could have been achieved any other way, but this is deeper than action. This is way deeper.

Control has always been something that brings me safety. Controlling my environment and the people I let in. Controlling my business and finances with a sharp eye. Controlling my physical health despite lots of pain by working my body to its best health. Controlling my emotions by not putting myself into situations where I might cry (or laugh). Controlling what I need by never asking for help. Exhausting maybe?

Huh.

That all sounds like emotional exposure. Doing something anyway not knowing what the response or outcome might be. Sticking my neck out and hoping for the best.

Being seen.

This is about not just being seen for what I have overcome or what I do. It will require me to being willing to reveal parts of myself that are tucked safely deep down and to do what is uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone.

I did a little exercise in my journal over the last week and here is how I see it:

Vulnerability is—
Vulnerability feels like—
Vulnerability looks like—

Vulnerability is —failing, making a mistake, exposing myself publicly, crying, screwing up, feeling scolded, asking for help, not perfecting something, feeling needy or dependent on others, asking for what I need or want and feeling out of control.

Vulnerability feels like—crushing sensation in chest, upset stomach, short breath, panic to flee, racing heart, avoidance.

Vulnerability looks like— finishing and publishing the book that has been written, asking for help, receiving help, communicating openly with others, asking to be on more podcasts, letting go of some of my high self standards (not failing), finding resolution and peace with pain, being okay with my emotions and letting my emotions be seen.

For 2023 I give myself permission to fail or to succeed. I give myself permission to not do it all alone. I give myself permission to reveal and unfold in a way that stays in alignment with my soul but also welcomes risk. I give myself permission to be seen.

Truly seen.

Emotionally exposed with risk and uncertainty.

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Word 2022 in Review (Deliberate)

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Deliberate is defined as done consciously and intentionally.

I chose DELIBERATE as my word for 2022 because I wanted to be more in tune with the choices I was making and what I was saying yes to. It has become a it overused to say “boundaries” and I wanted a softer approach to how I began to create some space in my life. I opted to think of my choices as filling the margins rather than having boundaries around my time or myself. I knew that after my previous year of refining my life I was ready to take it to the next level with pausing before I said yes to anything, and also being very intentional with my communication.

Early in the year I decided to carve out Friday as my day to only choose things that led to life I was trying to create. Previously I had a tendency to say yes to everything and everyone except myself which led to me often feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and at times resentful.

I am amazed at how setting an intention, pausing before saying yes and acting with a more conscious approach to life has become now a lifestyle. Of all the years I have been choosing a single word (about 18), this one had the most evident change in several different areas of my life.

Of course one of the biggest changes to my life was choosing that one day a week to be fully aware of what I put into the margins of my day. However, there were subtle changes to my style of communicating with others, especially under emotional strain. I took the same principle of pausing before speaking and the results were a much more peaceful commutation style and way more listening happening. I found that by slowing down I was able to clearly communicate my feelings and needs without sounded ungrateful or demanding. This was across people and situations. It was really amazing to see the shift in my communication enhancing my relationships.

I also found that as I commuted twice a week, driving sometimes up to 300 miles, I was very deliberate on the road and it became a very calm, focused almost meditation. The results were that as I became more intentional of my own driving, I was far less reactive to other peoples. This created delightful drives to work and I entered into my job with a very peaceful state.

As I flip back through my planner for the year I smile as I see how many great things happened on Fridays. Some of the adventures included:

•picking up golf clubs again and doing surprisingly well!

•hiking in my old favorite spots and rediscovering some of my old trails.

•lingering coffee shop dates alone where I could write or think or simply enjoy my coffee.

•mastering a pull up and a chin up became a late in the year goal and I claimed it! So fun!

•reading books during the day instead of just before bed where I usually read only a sentence or two before my eyes became too heavy.

•crocheting a few easy hats for myself and others is a great happy hour at home pastime.

•miles and miles of walks filled each day but I was able to log longer ones on Fridays.

•developing a deeper yoga practice was important to me this year and I found having a little more time allowed me to linger a bit on my mat.

•cultivating an amazing garden has been a pleasure of mine for years and each year it gets better! Fridays were weeding days and it is so soulful.

•massages are so important for my wellness and I found Friday afternoons to be the prime time for getting one.

•strength training became a must-do habit and I could not be more thrilled. I am so much stronger and have successfully achieved a pull up! I will never not life weights again.

I am so proud of myself for making this word stick and for the essence of what it means to be deliberate and to have it become a habit. I am way more balanced and definitely happier. I intend to continue my deliberate Fridays into next year and beyond.

Did you choose a word for your year? How did it play out in your world?

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And So It Is

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Dear life,

Grant me the courage
To change what I am capable of changing
And the grace
To accept what is beyond my control
And choose my battles wisely.

Please help me to fix what has fallen apart and is broken in my life
That would benefit from being mended
And accept what would not
And move on accordingly.

Grant me the strength
To fully seize each day
And make the most of each moment
Savouring the ones that provide me with joy, meaning and fulfilment

And remind me to treasure time spent with those I love
And pursue my passions and what uplifts and energises me
And focus on all that lies ahead of me
Rather than all that lies behind me.

Please help me to embody love
And radiate it to all whom I encounter
Regardless of whether they remain in my life
Or are no longer with me.

Please help me to remain calm and at peace
During the chaos and shifting seasons of life
And flow with it
Understanding that everything is fleeting and temporary
But that the true nature of who I am is eternal
And more than this limited body
And transitory physical experience

Please show me how to let go of fear, pain and resentment
So I can feel light, unburdened and free
And prioritise what is important
While disregarding what is not.

Please comfort me in my grief
And reassure me with the knowledge
That I will one day be reunited with those I love who have left this reality
But remain in spirit with me

And in the times when I am hurt
May you show me how to heal and move forward

In the times when I feel small and fragile
May you remind me of my inner strength

In the times when I feel weak
May you remind me of my inner power

In the times when I feel lost
May you help me rediscover purpose and meaning

In the times when I feel lonely and isolated
May you remind me that everything is interconnected

And in the times when I have lost confidence and trust in myself
May you help me remember who I am.

Words by Tahlia Hunter

(Inspired by the Serenity Prayer by Dr Reinhold Niebuhr)

Artwork by Elaine Bayley Illustrations

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Cherry Cheesecake Shooters

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Seriously.

How easy and how elegant are these!?! Your guests will think you toiled for hours when in truth these are a snap to make for a quick, yet amazing holiday dessert. They look super festive and taste amazing!

Ingredients

12 graham cracker rectangles 

One 8-ounce package cream cheese 

1 can sweetened condensed milk 

1 can cherry pie filling

Almond flakes (optional)

Mint leaves (optional)

Directions

  1. Put the graham crackers into a resealable bag and bash with a rolling pin into fine crumbs. Spoon the crumbs into the bottoms of small wine glasses.
  2. Add the cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk to the bowl of an electric mixer and whip together until light and fluffy. Spoon into a pastry bag and pipe a big helping over the crumbs in each of the glasses.
  3. Top with a couple of teaspoons of cherry pie filling, and top with a sprinkle of almond flakes and then add a mint leaf for garnish.

Seriously. That is it.

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Winter Solstice

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Breathe.

A day to pause.

The word “solstice,” in Latin, means sun standing still, so in a sense, we could say the soul stands still on the solstice—maybe even long enough for you to catch a glimpse of it, as some legends say you can at this divine time of year. The darkest night contains the most magnetic power, too; this is a time to draw forth what you want, to incubate your best intentions.

As you enjoy the longest night and the brightest lights of the season, please remember this: your soul is the light of the world. You carry the light within you. You shine.

We cannot change the fact that life has heartbreaking challenges any more than we can change that winter has storms. Viktor Frankl wrote in his quintessential book, Man’s Search for Meaning, “When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”

When we or someone we love are in a storm, try to recognize the good alongside the bad, and find your inner resilience.

Breathe.

Light always returns. Light is always there.

Mock (or not) Cranberry Lime Spritzer

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This year I am hosting a family gathering that will include five grandkids under the age of eight! Talk about Christmas spirit and excitement!

Specialty drinks are an easy and delicious way to get into the holiday spirit. This mock cranberry and lime spritzer is a festive, fun, and delicious addition to complement any meal during the holidays. The kids can enjoy this one, too but I’m case the adults want to spice it up a bit, a splash of vodka before pouring into the adults glass is equally amazing.

Make it mock, or not.

Ingredients
Cranberry juice
Sparkling water or lemon-lime soda
Ice cubes
Lime oil

Instructions

  1. Fill glass with ice and pour sparking water or lemon-lime soda half way.
  2. Fill additional half of glass with cranberry juice.
  3. Add one drop Lime oil and stir.

Tip: For garnish, add sliced limes and cranberries.

Competition

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I recently shared my strengths according to Gallup Strengths Finder and am still digging into that theme a bit. I loved learning my too strengths, but I was also fascinated to learn my bottom ones also. Competition is the second to the bottom strength! This means competition is pretty irrelevant to me and my life.

Competition is very low in my skill set personally and professionally. That is not a good thing or a bad thing, it just reinforces my top strengths. I highly recommend taking the strengths finder test if your curious how it impacts your personal and business life.

I did some digging on competition and found some fascinating thing. Harvard business review says this about competition-

While it can sometimes be productive, too often it is actually destructive to your overall goals. That’s why people who don’t have as much of a heart to compete have advantages in life and the opportunity to be more successful.

Non competing individuals are more motivated than most of the people around them.

Here is why:

•They aren’t as ego-driven.
People who compete often do so in large part to satisfy their egos. If you don’t have the heart to compete, then most likely you don’t have a big ego.

•They’re less stressed.
Competition in life adds a lot of unneeded frustration. If you’re not obsessed with competing, you’re largely free of that stress. That frustration is an almost overwhelmingly negative influence on your sense of self.

•They’re calmer.
A sense of calm comes over those who don’t endlessly think about how they’re going to get ahead in races of all kinds.

•They wish success on others.
The person who doesn’t obsess about competition often wants others to find success as well as themselves. What’s so great about that is how success begets success.

•They believe success can be shared.
Competitions are almost always win-lose situations. People who don’t want competition in their lives tend to believe in win-win scenarios. Instead of looking for ways they can outsmart their opponent, they search for methods to team up with them and overcome whatever obstacle that they face together instead of apart. By doing that, they double the chance for success.

•They have inner peace.
Obsession is unhealthy, whereas peace is just around the corner once you remove competition from the equation. By focusing on improving yourself instead of beating others, you are well on your way to the inner peace everyone craves, even if some of them don’t know it.

I’m telling you, learning about your strengths can lead to so much understanding in your relationships and professional life. I am so grateful I know these things about myself because I am able to see that I am unique and while others around me may be fed by competition I don’t have to try to fit in. I can be me and I can support them as they are then. Cool, huh?

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Morning Ritual

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Many years ago I would get out of bed and just start “doing”…. I was asleep living my life and just going through the motions of existing.

Then I started a ritual of being quiet and still. I made a commitment to getting up a little earlier before the house woke up and began making time for myself. I say this a lot, but when I WOKE UP to living, I became a better person. Part of the waking up process was cultivating a morning ritual.

The results were amazing. I yelled less, I reacted less, I was angry less, and I was peeling off all the garbage I had accumulated through my life. It was clear to me that anger can erode every cell of your being and I was a perfect example of what that looked like.

I was toxic mess in every aspect of my life. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. A toxic, heavy mess.

And then I began this simple morning ritual. I started the great wake up. The rest is history ?

I usually take 30 minutes to do some of these things before the day gets busy. I am a big intention for the day person and I almost always pull a positive card that gives me something to think about throughout the day. I note all the goodness in my life and welcome in the day with an open heart. After this part of my morning is complete and my spirit is cared for, I go and take care of my physical body with movement.

Once I have had a little time for myself I can be ready to give to others. You know the old saying you cannot pour from an empty cup.

What’s your morning routine like?

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Mindful Gluten-Free Muffins

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I’m on a mission to eat a little more mindfully. I tend to get myself distracted by things to be done or things I want to do, and eating is low on that list. I made these muffins yesterday which is some thing I used to do all the time. Some how my life priorities became shifted but I am realizing that I need to move the lends back to eating better. For years I was a big time foodie and creating amazing meals was my jam, but then that season ended and I busied myself with other interest. Thing is though, I miss eating good food! I tend to grab something fast at the deli and move on to the next thing with little thought about nutrition.

As I am mentally and physically preparing for my fourth hip surgery in just two months I know I need to bump up the nutrients and get my body in prime condition for recovery. These little muffins are my first step at walking back towards a more mindful eating pattern.

They’re super easy, super healthy, and delicious.

As you may recall, I’m not the best at exact measurements as I tend to eyeball everything.

Here’s how I did it.

Mindful Gluten Free Muffins

•2 ripe bananas

•2 eggs

•splash of MCT oil

•2 scoops of active stacks protein powder

•1/4 cup ish of melted coconut oil

•1 cup ish of almond flour

•1/2 cup ish coconut flour

•1 tsp baking powder

•1 tsp baking soda

•Pinch of salt

• dash of cinnamon

Bake 350 for 25 minutes. I store mine in the refrigerator to enjoy all week.

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