“Equanimity arises when we accept the way things are”
Reflecting on 2024 is happening a little sooner than usual this year and I have begun the process of taking myself back to January when I first declared equanimity as my word for the year.
I believe in the process so much and have seen in my own life the power of intention. Not just choosing an intention, but inviting that intention into everyday choices.
Reflecting on the Year
As I set out in the early days of 2024, I knew that a total hip replacement was going to be my focus and I entered into it with a desire to be steady and unwavering no matter what. Little did I know that this often routine surgery that most people have great success with, would test me more than I can imagine.
Throughout the unbelievable amount of complications that begun with a fractured femur during surgery, I remained steady. The well-wishers reassuring me that I would be “fine” provoked me to use my voice to perhaps inspire people to be better listeners rather than solution-givers. The often used “you’ll be fine” was more painful at times than the surgery itself. I learned to utilize my strong nature to be a realist and stay grounded in navigating these painful moments. Being a realist to me means approaching life and situations with a focus on practical realities rather than idealistic or overly optimistic expectations. As a realist, I acknowledge the world as it is, considering its challenges and opportunities without distorting them through personal biases, fantasies, or extreme pessimism. It has served me well.
Midyear 2024
Remaining neutral to what was happening in my body was easier than most thought. I learned that expectations are often disappointments, so I opted to not have them. When April brought on a revision to my total hip, I forged on and just accepted it. During the first half of the year I used productivity to keep me centered and my online presence grew exponentially. I took courses and learned how to adjust my youtube channel for better viewership and overall content enhancing. Rather than spending my recovery days zoned out on TV I chose to stay efficient and productive.
This choice opened up the doors of opinions of others and assumptions. Those two things that can easily take us off our center, if we allow it.
Last Quarter of 2024
By the end of August I was facing more pain, more uncertainty, more tests, and new doctors. I was referred to a specialist who deals with complex cases of infection of the joint. This isn’t the ideal place to be, but I relied on my strong gratitude and faith to face the uncertainty.
The pain i feel everyday is becoming harder to manage and I am getting by with simply appreciating the days as they are. Part of my steadiness and unwavering way that I face challenges is by accepting it. I have found that when we strive for something different than what we have, we usually bring upon our own suffering.
Steady and Unwavering 2024
I relied on many tools to keep equanimity at the forefront of how I dealt with my challenges. I practiced daily mindfulness, I trusted my medical team, I relied on others, and I accepted what is. While the majority of my 2024 was dealing with my hip, I also found how to live steadiness in other areas:
- hip surgeries and healing (all three of them)
- out of work for five months
- remaining financially thriving
- learning and applying new skills
- becoming super creative
- navigating relationships
- developing boundaries
- speaking my truth
- always practicing vulnerability
Final Thoughts on 2024
Years ago when I chose the word “peace”, I had intended the year to be an easy one where I filled my days with peaceful experiences. That year was one of the hardest years of my life. 2024 proved to be equally, if not more, challenging. I think that when we set our intention we visualize the best case scanrios. In truth, the intentions often challenge us more than we can ever imagine. It is not up to us how we are tested, but it is up to us on how we react or respond to the challenges.
Next year? Oh, I have a great word to weave into my life. It is going to be challenging for sure, but in a different way. Stay tuned.
