self love

Affirmations

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It is amazing to me how our inner narrative about ourselves can be so negative. Years ago I started a pretty solid affirmation practice and continue to this day. By rerouting our thoughts and words to a positive place, we actually retrain our brain to think and see the good in our lives.

Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts.

When you repeat them often, and truly believe in them, you can start to see positive changes in your life unfold. Practicing positive affirmations can be extremely simple, and all you need to do is pick a phrase and repeat it to yourself.

I don’t know about you, but I have spent many years, speaking things like “I am a mess, I am overwhelmed, I am stressed, I am in so much pain.” I still catch myself and can now rephrase to “I am doing my best or I am handling this with grace or I am feeling my body tell me something”.

Affirmations require regular practice they can help you to make lasting, long-term changes to the ways that you think and feel.

Do you have a list of affirmations? What’s your favorite one? I love having sticky notes and reminders around my house and I even have an app in my phone that periodically throughout the day sends me an I am_____ reminder of something good.

I encourage you to start a 30 day affirmation practice and see what shows up in your life. Need some help coming up with affirmations? I am happy to help!

You have probably heard about intentions, right?  Especially at the beginning of a new year, it is quite the buzz.  I am all for people setting new year goals, visions, intentions, or whatever you want to call them, but I am talking more about a daily focus on something you want to create in your life.

Over the years I have worked with intentions and affirmation on a daily basis. I have seen first hand when they work, and when they do not work.  They work when you truly feel what you are saying, when you visualize it often to the details,  and the same holds true when they don’t work.  Feeling it is key. You can’t expect results just by just repeating it. The more you speak it, the more you feel it, the more you feel it, the more you speak it, and the cycle continues.

Positive affirmations require a consistent and regular practice if you want to make lasting, long-term changes.

The good news is that the practice and popularity of positive affirmations are based on widely accepted and well-established psychological theory, –yes, science backs up the new agey, hippie feel-good vibes. Pretty amazing, right?

Practicing positive affirmations can be extremely simple.  You pick a statement that is positive and you repeat to yourself.  Over and over.  You write it down and then sit with it.  Next, you believe it. This repetitive practice is powerful. Try a meditation called Japa meditation using mala beads.

Choose intentions to motivate you, encourage positive things in your life, or even boost your self-esteem. The subconscious patterns of negative self-talk can be eliminated by a regular positive affirmation or intention practice.

Here are the steps I follow to living my intention with affirmations:

  1. Get clear. Sit quietly without distractions and think of one (or two) areas in your life that you would like to be different. Some ideas include generating more income, finding true love in a partner, having a healthier body, or increasing self-esteem. I also love to use lime and rosemary essential oil when getting clear.  These two essential oils are powerful when it comes to the brain and can bring a sense of focus and inner knowledge.
  2. Create a powerful statement. Whatever you choose, having a very clear and deliberate statement, preferably spoken in the terms of I AM_____ (healthy, abundant, happily in love with a loving partner, surrounded by supportive friends, confident and strong). The two most powerful words in any language is I AM, so start by speaking in those terms versus I want, or I need.  I AM is ownership.
  3. Incorporate your intention into your daily life. Write down your affirmation and put it in a place where you will see it often.  Or even better, invest in sticky notes and put throughout your home. Mirrors, refrigerators, planners, cabinets, your car, etc. are great places.  I also like to may a simple photo and make it my wallpaper on my phone.
  4. Affirmations as a practice. Recording your voice on your phone and listening to yourself speak the affirmation is a great way to reinforce your intention. There are also some awesome apps you can get on your phone that remind you throughout the day to pause and listen to your affirmations.  Setting aside five minutes each morning to get still, quiet, and then repeat them in your meditation practice is also wonderful. If you want to incorporate the mantra/affirmation into your japa meditation practice, this can be incredibly powerful as well.  Basically, find a way that works for you to repeat the affirmations as often as you can.
  5. Be deliberate with your actions. Setting an intention is an amazing way to create the life you want, and deserve, but sitting back and expecting the Universe to plop it into your lap is a set up for a big-time disappointment. Manifesting and creating also take effort on your part.  Let’s say you want a healthy body.  Speaking about it but continuing to be a couch potato and indulging on cheeto’s probably isn’t going to make that happen.  Expecting or desiring to have a steady source of income while absorbing yourself in leisure activities (TV, video games, reading novels, going fishing), isn’t going to make a lot of financial deposits. The truth is, whatever you desire in your life,  you first have to FEEL you deserve it so begin sort through those common feelings of not being enough now because it’s blocking your flow, FEEL it in every cell of your being when you speak it as if it has already happened, and FEEL so strongly about it that you begin to take mindful and deliberate actions steps towards making it happen.  That is what we know as co-creating.
  6. Gratitude. Without a solid a practice of gratitude all the affirmations in the world aren’t going to make a difference. And by solid, I mean a deliberate and consistent sitting down and acknowledging all the good in your life. Remember, what you focus on is what you’re inviting in. So, the more you focus on your abundance the more you will have. So simple.

Now, it is time to get busy. What do you want to create?

Follow me for more goodness!

Losing Heaviness

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Back when I was young, married and raising three people I was completely asleep when it came to self love. I was overweight and miserable. I was extremely heavy in all areas of my life. I did not like who I was. I was also very unaware at how much heaviness I was carrying in the terms of emotion. It became clear that when you love yourself, you take actions that care for yourself. I never connected that the heaviness I was in my body was a direct link to the heaviness in my emotions.

Losing Heavy Emotions

When I began to what I like to refer to as “wake up” and get healthy, I started to actually like who I was. I shed layers and layers of heavy stuff that was either put on me, or I put upon myself. Labels, disappointments, regrets, anger and so much more. I was finding dark shadows that were lurking in my heart that were asking to be let out.

Besides the practical tools I began to actually losing the physical weight, I also forgave others and accepted my circumstances. I began to surround myself with people who honored me and were good influences to a positive outlook on life. In doing this, I lost so much of the heavy feelings that were literally weighing me down.

Losing the Weight

The practical ways in which I lost weight were simple–I changed my habits. Recognizing what wasn’t working and learning to make a very conscious decision to change it was my new way. I swapped mindless habits for mindful living and the game changed.

Some of my strategies were:

  • Eating meals on small plates
  • Chewing gum while I cooked
  • Teaching others to do their dishes
  • Putting trigger foods out of sight
  • Making sure my walking shoes were always with me
  • Changing routines to avoid mindless eating (taking long baths, going for a walk, learning to garden)

You see these simple changes were to avoid be being unconscious. This influenced my snacking, my portions, and my then sedentary lifestyle choices. Many of these changes still remain part of my life.

By swapping out the mindless munching on snacks for bubble baths or a short walk, my mind was beginning to see the value in me. It is extraordinary what happens to a person’s soul when time is spent consistently alone on a walk. The changes that occurred both on the inside and outside were amazing. 

I began noticing myself.

I have spent a decade and a half living like these habits; mindful eating and multiple daily walks. I even became a yoga and meditation teacher. Basically transformed myself from an angry obese woman to a healthy and happy woman.

A vibrant life was mine. Once all the BS labels were shed, I found the true me and I found purpose.

Maintaining a light life.

While I have maintained a healthy weight for over 20 years, I have struggled with trusting my body. The multiple diagnoses I have received and the countless surgeries felt at times like a betrayal. In truth, I spent a solid 10 adult years living on double cheeseburgers, fries and chicken nuggets without a stitch of pain or health issues. Once I lightened up health issues began to surface.

I often ask myself how did I begin to develop inflammatory issues when I was now living my best life? My body’s ability to climb mountains, race bicycles, practice endless hours of yoga, walk miles and miles each day was endless.

And yet, my body was struggling. 

I have since learned to accept what is. Learning to continue on living an extraordinary happy and healthy life despite pain.Making daily choices around movement vs sitting. Or ice cream vs a single bite of dark chocolate. And binging on stupid tv vs a long bubble bath. I’ve been extremely happy with the self love I have discovered by nurturing myself.

Amazing how much healing can happen when you say yes to YOU.

Whether it is food choices, walking, yoga, mindfulness or even getting down with lifting weights learning to love myself has been a journey I am so grateful for. Listening to the inner calling of my purpose elevated my game beyond any number on a scale could have.

I have found trust in myself. And isn’t trust a much needed part of loving this life?

Take a listen to this podcast I recently did that expands on these ideas. I would love to hear how YOU have lighted up and lost heaviness.

Roller Skates

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I was about twelves years old and shopping with my mom at my local K-mart when I learned the most valuable lesson she may have ever instilled in me.

For months prior to this day, I was becoming obsessed with rollerskating. Spending every Friday evening at the local rink wishing the boy I was crushed on would ask me to slow skate with him was normal. Eating lemon heads with my girlfriends and basically feeling what freedom away from your parents. I watched as some of the other girls started to show up with fancy white leather roller-skates with pink wheels. I noticed that some girls even got snazzy shoe-laces to make their cool skates look even cooler. These girls were no longer renting the smelling unisex brown and red skates that usually had a sticky wheel or some other defect. Instead they looked like movies stars skirting around the rink. In my mind I was also convinced that they got asked to skate the slow skates with cute boys because of the skates.

Shopping Day

The late afternoon day at K-mart I was eyeing the same white leather with pink stopper skates that all the popular girls where bringing to the skating rink in a cool bag. I had been wearing old metal skates around my neighborhood that you just wore with your sneakers. Lame. I wanted to glide around my neighborhood and carry them into the rink on Friday like the popular girls.

These roller skates were something I wanted so bad.

My mom found me in the aisle. I begged her with all my begging ability to buy the skates for me. They were priced at $12.97 and they had my sized fit perfectly. I was about as excited as a girl could have been.

Nope.

Her response to me asking was, “Save up your money and when you have enough, I will bring you back”.

She was not going to buy me roller-skates when I had “perfectly good ones at home that fit just fine“. She did not want to hear that other girls had them because that was the last thing she cared about (another amazing lesson). My mom was the type of mom that you did not ask twice if the answer the first time wasn’t what you wanted. You just learned to accept the answer no matter how crushed you might have been.

I was crushed.

I remember fighting back the tears and feeling so frustrated that she would not buy them for me. I was mad and jealous all at the same time. Why did I have to be the stupid paper girl tossing newspapers onto people’s porches, smelling like ink and being laughed at? Why couldn’t I just be the pretty girl that had fancy new skates with sparkly shoelaces and whatever else fad that came along?

Because my mom was teaching me the value of earning what you think you need. She was teaching me the value of waiting until you can get it yourself. She was teaching me the reward of working hard and saving up for something.

Mom was teaching me that I can provide for myself.

What a gift that was and one that has served me so well. In fact I would rather work hard, save up for something and know that I earned it, than be given something. It feels richer knowing that I made choices to get something I wanted and I certainly learned to take really good care of what I worked myself to get.

The lesson that day is one of what people call a defining moment.

I will say that walking into the skating rink the next Friday night felt pretty amazing. The skates glided and I felt so good. I would love to say the boy asked me to skate, but he didn’t. It was okay because I gained so much self-value that I didn’t need a silly boy to hold my hand to the slow songs of Lionel Richie.

From that day forward, I polished my skates off after each use and prayed that my feet didn’t grow too fast. Oh, and my mom did end up buying me the sparkly laces and even made me a pom-pom to go on top.

Hip Replacement Surgery Update

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I feel like I have done this before….Oh wait, I have. A little over a week ago I had my second hip replacement surgery in just two months and this time it was a revision to the replacement. Another hopeful smooth sailing surgery with positive outcomes was the intention.

Of course the intention of the surgeon, who I admire and believe in 100%, was to remove the fluid and hematoma and get my hip functional. My intention was to trust and heal. Period. Just trust and heal.

Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.

Maybe someone out there will hesitate to tell their loved one how easy they are going to have it or how the recovery will be such a breeze. I will keep saying that over and over despite driving people crazy.

Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.

I knew going into the surgery that I would also be getting a picc line placed. A picc line is a long term IV that basically gives easy access to get IV antibiotics delivered into the body without having to poke often or deal with a peripheral IV. Sounded easy enough, but I was nervous as to how my body would respond to a plastic tubing in my chest given that every plastic, tape, or tubing inflames my skin and I end up being a blistered mess or having the culprits removed early.

The day after the picc line was placed, I noticed that my arm was very swollen. In quick fashion I was soon learning that I had a blood clot in my arm likely from the poke of the picc line. Gah. I had already been on blood thinners so this was surprising and alarming, to me.

I was discharged the following day and ready to heal at home. Unfortunately, my first full day home was spent in the ER with a very swollen arm and more blood clots. It was such a scary and surreal experience. The picc line was removed and what a sigh of relief that was.

I will say it again.

Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.

So I am faced with an impasse. Do I react or do I respond to these challenges?

A reaction is typically done so with force and effort, whereas a response is a leaning into and surrendering. If I react to the fact my arm is swollen with anger, how would that help me? If I accept that I have clots causing the pain, how would that help me?

Reaction vs Response

Even though this experience has been incredibly hard, I still believe 100% that reacting in a blame/shame/anger way is so not useful. Those emotions will not heal my hip.

Will responding and surrendering heal my hip? Maybe and maybe not. What I do know is that my heart will be happier and my mental health will be intact if I respond in kindness to what is happening.

Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.

My plan for healing is to enjoy the sunshine and the sounds of spring. I am going to reevaluate my life and what fits into the scope of peace and healing, and what doesn’t. Sometimes we have to face really hard challenges that shine a light into an area that has been darkened for a long time.

Stick around while I unearth some long overdue areas of darkness by responding to what is and what it all might mean for me. Check out the details of the week here.

Evolving Self-Care

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“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” —Eleanor Brownn

Self care Mastery

Over the years I have become a master at self care and what I once thought of as purely selfish or saved for the elite has long since diminished. When I had my great “wakeup” I realized that self-care is actually a necessity to living a whole and complete life. I learned that loving myself meant taking time for certain things that bring me joy and in doing that, I am able to more effectively give to others.

Self-care doesn’t have to be weekly (and often expensive) things like massages, facials or extravagant shopping sprees. Self-care should be simple in nature and definitely doesn’t need to cost a lot. It might be that taking the time to perfectly craft your coffee in the afternoon is your version of self-care–in fact, since I am not out and about as much while I recover from hip replacement, I have found sprinkling a little ground cinnamon on my afternoon coffee to be a fabulous substitute to my usual coffee shop Americano. It may be that your self-care is gardening, or baking bread (YES!), or a solo walk, or organizing your office, or a long shower with special smelling soap, or sitting in the sunshine, or the occasional binge on Netflix.

Self Care Before Surgery:

My self-care before surgery was long, long walks everyday and vigorous strength training sessions. It was also daily coffee(s), Yoga, and weekly massages. My self-care post surgery has changed quite a bit but I am still committed to making sure that I am loving on myself every single day. When I redirect my thoughts away from pain and towards something that brings me joy, I am practicing the best kind of self care there is. I am no longer taking long, long walks or hiking in the mountains. I am not getting on the floor for Yoga, or taking long bubble baths, or splurging on multiple trips to a coffee shop throughout my day. Since I am unable to do some of those things due to limitations in mobility, driving myself and being off work for two months, I have evolved my self-care to fit my current situation.

Self Care After Surgery:

  • Long hot showers instead of bubble baths
  • Daily affirmations (I have used affirmations for years, but being a bit more intentional about them)
  • Making anything and everything sourdough (who knew how fun that could be?)
  • Dabbling more in aromatherapy when I feel my mood changing to a negative one
  • Using and enjoying my crystals in a deliberate way
  • Jigsaw puzzles, digital planning and a lot of iPad goodness
  • Easy stretching and spine work
  • Making soothing DIY skin products
  • Being creative and productive every day

I have come to realize that self-care is a constantly evolving practice. I know for me that being productive and using my creative nature to accomplish something everyday brings me joy. That something might be baking a gorgeous loaf of sourdough, or completing a challenging jigsaw puzzle, working on a new project, or finishing a juicy novel. Or, it might be whipping up a body butter for my skin or enjoying an extra long shower. Whatever it is, I am still loving on me and that is a must for all of us.

How do you self-care and how has it evolved in your changing seasons?

Follow me for more goodness!

Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life. With over sixteen years experience, Stacie Wyatt is an experienced 500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance, Certified Brain Injury Specialist, Certified Trauma Informed Coach, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor.

Valentine’s Day Gifts

/ embracingspirit / 2 Comments

It’s that time of year when the shops fill up with hearts and roses. But is Valentine’s just for the romantics? More and more people are choosing to see Valentine’s Day as a celebration of love. Whether it is for a friend, a pet or loved one. You don’t have to be in a relationship to celebrate. And you certainly don’t have to do it with hearts and roses. But celebrating love can’t be such a bad thing, can it?

Unconditional Love Blend

These make fantastic little valentine’s love gifts for all your special people. These are packed with powerful essential oils and beautiful rose quartz. Plus, I add a few rose petals for the pretty sake.

What is inside:

  • Rose: Opens the heart chakra and allows you to feel unconditional love. Creates a sense of well-being and calmness while awakening your ability for self-compassion, nurturing, and love.
  • Lemon: Opens the heart chakra to self-love and self-nurturing. lightens while uplifting your spirit and bringing clarity into your life.
  • Neroli: A natural tranquilizer and regulator of the nervous system that opens the heart chakra, uplifts your spirit, and encourages confidence, joy, and peace.
  • Marjoram: Restores warmth, self-compassion, and self-nurturing when feeling lonely or isolated.
  • Lavender: Helps you to relax, let go of the stress, and release fear, which fosters connect with the heart center and opens you up to more love.
  • Jasmine: Uplifting and joyous oil that balances the emotional system, soothes anxiety, and helps with depression and apathy.
  • Geranium: This emotional healing oil restores confidence and trust in others. It can help to heal a broken heart and open one up to love.
  • Ylang Ylang: This is a powerful remedy for the heart and releasing trauma from the past. This oil helps to release bottled up emotions that weigh heavy on the heart which allows for a more playful, carefree, emotionally connected and loving experience of life.
  • Tranquility Blend (Serenity): Includes Lavender Flower, Cedarwood, Ho Wood Leaf, Ylang Ylang Flower, Marjoram Leaf, Roman Chamomile Flower, Vetiver Root, Vanilla Bean Absolute, Hawaiian Sandalwood. Encourages individuals to first reconnect with themselves and discover peace that lies within, and then to reconnect with the humanity in others. This brings a calm, tranquil, peaceful, relaxed, compassionate and connection person.
  • Rose quartz: Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love. It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love. Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace. Calming and reassuring, it helps to comfort in times of grief. Rose Quartz dispels negativity.

Ready to get yours?

Buy Your Unconditional Blend Here

Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life.

Being Honest

/ embracingspirit / 6 Comments

is being honest
about
my pain
that
makes me invincible.

Nayyirah Waheed

Most times when we do experiences pain, we deny it for a multitude of reasons. In my case I used to deny my pain so that I was always viewed as strong. I am still not super open about my personal pain but I am realizing more and more that may not be the way. Finding fellowship with others can add value to our lives and sometimes it’s nice to not feel alone.

Usually when we talk about pain, we talk about how much pain impacts us negatively. I mean, there is truth in that. Typically when we are experiencing pain, either emotional pain or physical pain, it doesn’t lend itself to creating the best life. And feeling weak is also not a fun feeling and sadly, it usually goes hand in hand with pain.

Over the years I have been on both sides of that spectrum. I have felt deep, emotional pain and deep loss and I have endured incredible physical pain that few really know about. I have minimized and usually have kept quiet about much of my pain. I have also created an amazing life and career that I believe would not have evolved without pain.

Certainly, at times I wish I didn’t have pain.

However for the most part, the pain that I have endured in my adult life has been nothing short of fuel to help me become the best that I can be.

Some of my first pain came when I realized that my beautiful daughter, who I dreamt of having a normal relationship with, (and doing all the things moms and daughters do), was born disabled. When realizing I would not be having those type of experiences with her, I was angry. I was deeply saddened and felt incredibly alone. I felt cheated and that life was unfair. I lived in an area of town that had a relatively upscale school system where the focus was on perfection, and her being different did not lend itself to being included. While other little girls were being invited to birthday parties, my little girl was being shunned, and people were leading their children away from her because she was different. Around the same time, this was happening, my marriage was falling apart, and soon I was a single mom with three kids and no job. Having opted to have children instead of going to college, I didn’t have many skills, other than being an incredible advocate for my daughter. I could’ve chosen to wallow in the crappy cards that I was dealt, and sit in sorrow for the loneliness and view what seemed like an insurmountable mountain that I was faced to climb all alone. Or, I could tighten up my hiking boots and get it done.

Long after my divorce when my children’s father died, I went through a similar feeling of isolation and loneliness. Even though I was in a supportive relationship at that time, his death put any last hope that I was not going to be the only parent that my children had. There was no longer any far fetched wish that he would decide one day to be involved.

A couple of marriages could be seen as failures, or they could be seen as amazing opportunities to see my part in the dysfunction of relationships, and begin to do differently. The breakups were grueling and I probably would still have pain if I chose to be the victim in them. Sure, I could give you a laundry list of all the things that they did wrong, but that would be another version of the same story where pain isn’t useful. Instead I learned to look at my part on the dysfunction and my own abandonment and anger issues. I chose to resolve the deep wounds and allow them to scar over.

I’ve lived with chronic pain for nearly 25 years. I first began to see a pain management specialist to manage my ongoing pain all the way back in 2007. At the same time, I was developing a deep love affair with Yoga. While I was hoping that the Yoga practice itself would help me manage my pain, and it has in many ways, it wasn’t the end all. Many failed surgeries and many failed attempts to reduce my pain could easily cause me to break. I could be sitting at home and complaining about what my body cannot do anymore, or I could be taking as many walks a day that I have time for while feeling the sun on my face and the breeze on my skin and feeling completely and totally alive. I could spend my days complaining about my pain or I could spend my days having compassion for those who also have pain. I could use my pain as an attention seeking tool to have people feel sorry for me, or I could use my pain in a humble way to inspire people to live their best life.

You see, we all have pain. And the way that you and I handle pain is individual. This isn’t a blast on those who maybe don’t see through the same lens that I do. I just know that my pain is what inspires me to get up every day and be the best I can for my students, my kids, those who I love, and mostly for myself.

One thing that I do know for certain is this – my experience with pain has shown me just how strong I really am. It is showing me how adaptable and innovative I am. It has shown me the very essence of my spirit. Had I not experienced the pain, I may not have ever witnessed this amazing woman who writes this post. Without becoming this amazing woman, I would not developed beautiful connections in the community where I could use the pain that I once experienced with my daughter to be an advocate for those who can’t advocate for themselves. I would not be able to sit with someone else’s physical pain because I wouldn’t understand it if I didn’t have my own.

Pain is not the enemy here. Pain is actually the gift.

My pain has made me invincible.

Here is how I used pain to turn it into some useful in my life:

  • I let go of expectations of others
  • I learned to love myself
  • I made time for me
  • I chose me
  • I let go of people who did not align with my greatest potential
  • I released negativity in my life
  • I surrounded myself with love
  • I began to pay attention to my thoughts, words and actions
  • I stopped complaining and gossiping
  • I let go of competition with others
  • I accepted myself and the choices I had previously made
  • I practiced daily gratitude which made me actively seek out good in my life
  • I forgave others and myself
  • I stopped doubting myself

Not sure where to start? I would begin by listening to the thoughts you have and the words you speak, especially about yourself. You might just see that shifting those two things to something more loving with start the process.

You got this!

Mastering the Art of Self Love

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“As I began to love myself, I found that anguish and emotional suffering were only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.”

Charlie Chaplin

Self-love is the foundation and basis for all the love that flows from our hearts to others.

For many years I was a seeker of love outside of myself. In some ways we all are—we want validation and to be seen—that is normal human behavior. My trouble came when in the truthful and quiet moments with myself, I really didn’t like who I was, and actually loving myself was not even in the ball park.

Then I woke up.

I realized that my kids needed a healthy mom. They needed someone who demonstrated self love. They required a mom who was no longer angry but instead developed an acceptance for life’s hard things and took them as lessons to grow.

I also became radically aware of self care. For decades I thought self care was selfish and totally for the elite. Wow, right? I came to realize that the only way I was to find pure unconditional love was to begin by loving myself unconditionally. You attract what you are.

Today I actually coach women (and men) on the power of a deliberate self care routine to help become the very best version of yourself. It’s not all about bubble baths, although those those do help tremendously.

This month I am teaching that we all have a foundation of values that sustains us, especially when life becomes hard or when we are challenged.

Self love is now one of my deepest values. It is one of the four main “roots” or “walls” that hold me up during storms. Without it, I’d crumble.

I choose self love daily by walking, working out, spending time in my garden, playing on a yoga mat, sipping nice vodka, daily gratitude, enjoying delicious coffee and of course, lavish bubble baths. One way that I combat living with chronic pain is to fight back against it with so much self love and self care through movement that my mind simply cannot focus on the pain long, because I am instead experiencing the joy of being alive.

I can’t believe that I once told myself that self love was selfish. After two decades of self love it has now become a part of everyday living. I know that without this radical practice of self love I would not be able to handle life’s challenges and I would not be able to give so much love. Truly by filling up myself with love daily, I am able to give more to others.

Don’t wait for a health crisis or a divorce to learn you are worthy.

Love yourself radically and fiercely now.

Trust me, mastering the art of self love is the best gift you’ll ever give yourself. You deserve it.

xo

Reach out to me for a free wellness consult and learn how YOU can change your mindset!

With over sixteen years experience, Stacie Wyatt is a E-500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance, Certified Brain Injury Specialist, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor. Stacie is also certified in Integrative Movement Therapy™and is also a believer in the power and application of essential oils for health and wellness and proudly shares doTERRA essential oils.

Simply a Reflection

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The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.

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Tell me what do you love or admire about yourself?

I asked this question in all of my adaptive and traditional Yoga classes last week as we delved into the idea of Self-Love. The answers often are so sad when it comes to my students with brain injuries. You see these people have lost what most of us value and are having to rediscover the aspects of themself that they actually like. Most have lost their livelihood, their purpose, their families, their independence, their freedom to come and go, and oso much more. When they look in the mirror they often see the challenges and the impact of the injury so finding the qualities within can usually be really challenging. I also have enjoyed asking my group of students that are all over the age of 85 and living in assisted living. I am startled that so few of them can proclaim something that they love about themselves. Perhaps it is a generational thing where they didn’t spend as much time as younger people these days who seem consumed with the Self.

The answer seem to be so hard for them to find.

I ask the question anyway and the answer is usually that they are blank on what they love about themselves.

I keep asking, though.

On one particular day in a class that included a range of ages and abilities, I asked a woman living with a brain injury who is close to my age and is often very down on herself the question. When I asked her what she liked about herself her eyes dropped down to the ground and she quietly said, “nothing”. She was hunched over with her arms on her legs looking so hopeless and sad. This woman is so kind, so willing, so sweet and is so beautiful.

I knelt down so that I was in her eye gaze and asked again. And again, I got the same response.

I knew that I was about to open a beautiful can of worms and an opportunity to teach exactly what Rumi was saying.

I turned the question around. I asked this woman what she liked about me. She looked at me and easily said, “You are brave, and strong and so beautiful”.

We smiled at each other and I looked into her eyes.

My response was this—I am simply a reflection of you. What exists in me is also in you otherwise you would not recognize it. We are indeed a mirror reflection of each other.

She sat tall and said, “really?” Yes my sweet friend, really.

I learned this concept many years ago and try to always remember it, especially when I am with someone who feels that they are not enough or someone who struggles with identifying what makes them special. I ask them to think about someone they admire and what qualities do they see in them that they like? It is those qualities that also exist in ourselves.

Consider that. What you see in others exists in you. Kindness, integrity, compassion, love, bravery, beauty, honesty, humor, etc. If it was not part of you and familiar, you would not recognize it.

The tricky and often sticky part about this is that when we also see a quality within others that we find less appealing, it is because that too is familiar in us. When this happens to me I say, “ahhhhhh yes, there you are to remind me what I am here to work on”.

When we stumble through those ordinary days of self doubt and wondering what is really good about ourselves this can be an amazing concept to return to. When we feel burdened by life’s hardness and separate from the ideals in which the world has attempted to create, and we feel so less than, simply look into the eyes of someone you admire and know that the only way you can see those qualities is because they also exist in you.

It is familiar. It is a mirror reflection of yourself.

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Self Love

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This time of year can seem like we are stuck in endless amounts of cold, dark winter days that go on and on. Also for some of us the holiday hype leads to a low-energy winter drag that sometimes can last months.

Many of us also dread the month of February because the influx of romantic love seems to be everywhere. I’m all for love but I have learned over the years that without self-love, there will be no room for love-love. It’s just doesn’t happen.

For many years I was a seeker of love outside of myself. In some ways we all are—we want validation and to be seen—that is normal human behavior. My trouble came when in the truth and quiet moments with myself, I really didn’t like who I was, and actually loving myself was not even in the ball park.

Then I woke up.

I realized that my kids needed a healthy mom. They needed someone who demonstrated self love. They required a mom who was no longer angry but instead developed an acceptance for life’s hard things and took them as lessons to grow.

I also became radically aware of self care. For decades I thought self care was selfish and totally for the elite. Wow, right? I came to realize that the only way I was to find pure unconditional love was to begin by loving myself unconditionally. You attract what you are.

Today I actually coach women (and men) on the power of a deliberate self care routine to help become the very best version of yourself. It’s not all about bubble baths, although those those do help tremendously.

I crafted this essential oil blend with the intention that it dives into the areas of our brain and heart that focus on positive self love and self image. There was a lot of thought and trial and error that went into finding the perfect combination to embody self love that is purely unconditional.

Unconditional Blend

Rose: Opens the heart chakra and allows you to feel unconditional love. Creates a sense of well-being and calmness while awakening your ability for self-compassion, nurturing, and love.

Lemon: Opens the heart chakra to self-love and self-nurturing. lightens while uplifting your spirit and bringing clarity into your life.

Neroli: A natural tranquilizer and regulator of the nervous system that opens the heart chakra, uplifts your spirit, and encourages confidence, joy, and peace.

Marjoram: Restores warmth, self-compassion, and self-nurturing when feeling lonely or isolated.

Lavender: Helps you to relax, let go of the stress, and release fear, which fosters connect with the heart center and opens you up to more love.

Jasmine: Uplifting and joyous oil that balances the emotional system, soothes anxiety, and helps with depression and apathy.

Geranium: This emotional healing oil restores confidence and trust in others. It can help to heal a broken heart and open one up to love.

Ylang Ylang: This is a powerful remedy for the heart and releasing trauma from the past. This oil helps to release bottled up emotions that weigh heavy on the heart which allows for a more playful, carefree, emotionally connected and loving experience of life.

Tranquility Blend: Includes Lavender Flower, Cedarwood, Ho Wood Leaf, Ylang Ylang Flower, Marjoram Leaf, Roman Chamomile Flower, Vetiver Root, Vanilla Bean Absolute, Hawaiian Sandalwood. Encourages individuals to first reconnect with themselves and discover peace that lies within, and then to reconnect with the humanity in others. This brings a calm, tranquil, peaceful, relaxed, compassionate and connection person.

Rose quartz: Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love. It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love. Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace. Calming and reassuring, it helps to comfort in times of grief. Rose Quartz dispels negativity

Plus a sprinkling of rose petals makes this blend gorgeous to look at, too.

You can purchase this gorgeous blend here or invest in my self care package and it is included along with bath bombs, soothing foot salve, yoga and meditation.

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