It is easy to find joy during times in our life when everything appears to be in place. We find joy in the lazy Sundays before the yard work for the season takes over. Finding joy is easy when we are sipping drinks on the beach enjoying a deserved vacation. The simple joy of being around young children who find pleasure in just being alive is packed with joy.
What about when life is hard?
How do we find joy during the painful seasons of life? When the daily grind overcomes every corner of our life. The chores are endless. Or our aging parents need constant care. Perhaps our lives are full of the demands of school age children and we have little self care time. The chronic pain that many live with makes finding joy nearly impossible.
Looking for moment of joy
After my last hip surgery, the complications have seemed to be endless. Infections, blood clots, multiple visits to the ER seem to have taken over my life. Constant doctor appointments and conversation about my pain is exhausting.
Until I chose joy.
There are always moments of joy. Waking up to the sound of a spring bird is joy. Watching as the trees begin to bloom is joy. Smelling the first cut grass of the season is joy. Carefully nurturing the garden seedlings is joy. Laying your hands in sourdough bread dough is joy. Tasting the fruits of your labor slathered in butter is joy.
We are going to be okay
Looking back at life, there are countless times when it is easy to see that indeed we did end up okay. When we are in the vortex of struggles it is nearly impossible to see it, but I do believe it is there.
We will be okay. I will be okay. You will be okay.
I feel like I have done this before….Oh wait, I have. A little over a week ago I had my second hip replacement surgery in just two months and this time it was a revision to the replacement. Another hopeful smooth sailing surgery with positive outcomes was the intention.
Of course the intention of the surgeon, who I admire and believe in 100%, was to remove the fluid and hematoma and get my hip functional. My intention was to trust and heal. Period. Just trust and heal.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
Maybe someone out there will hesitate to tell their loved one how easy they are going to have it or how the recovery will be such a breeze. I will keep saying that over and over despite driving people crazy.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
I knew going into the surgery that I would also be getting a picc line placed. A picc line is a long term IV that basically gives easy access to get IV antibiotics delivered into the body without having to poke often or deal with a peripheral IV. Sounded easy enough, but I was nervous as to how my body would respond to a plastic tubing in my chest given that every plastic, tape, or tubing inflames my skin and I end up being a blistered mess or having the culprits removed early.
The day after the picc line was placed, I noticed that my arm was very swollen. In quick fashion I was soon learning that I had a blood clot in my arm likely from the poke of the picc line. Gah. I had already been on blood thinners so this was surprising and alarming, to me.
I was discharged the following day and ready to heal at home. Unfortunately, my first full day home was spent in the ER with a very swollen arm and more blood clots. It was such a scary and surreal experience. The picc line was removed and what a sigh of relief that was.
I will say it again.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
So I am faced with an impasse. Do I react or do I respond to these challenges?
A reaction is typically done so with force and effort, whereas a response is a leaning into and surrendering. If I react to the fact my arm is swollen with anger, how would that help me? If I accept that I have clots causing the pain, how would that help me?
Reaction vs Response
Even though this experience has been incredibly hard, I still believe 100% that reacting in a blame/shame/anger way is so not useful. Those emotions will not heal my hip.
Will responding and surrendering heal my hip? Maybe and maybe not. What I do know is that my heart will be happier and my mental health will be intact if I respond in kindness to what is happening.
Hip Replacements and revisions are not all the same.
My plan for healing is to enjoy the sunshine and the sounds of spring. I am going to reevaluate my life and what fits into the scope of peace and healing, and what doesn’t. Sometimes we have to face really hard challenges that shine a light into an area that has been darkened for a long time.
Stick around while I unearth some long overdue areas of darkness by responding to what is and what it all might mean for me. Check out the details of the week here.
I have learned so much since my hip replacement surgery eight weeks ago. Some of the things I learned from the hip replacement process would be expected and others have been complete surprises.
My hip replacement on February 5th was much harder than I anticipated and it has been a true test of my patience and resiliency, so seeing the little shoots of green make their way through the hard winter soil is a good lesson for me to just stay the course. Sadly the course has made a major detour and I am heading back into surgery for a revision and to remove a large hematoma. I will be working closely with a team of doctors, including infectious disease, to make sure I am healthy and healing.
It is a devastating setback.
The major takeaways that I have learned from hip replacement surgery are:
Listen to your body
Trust yourself
Be patient
Fill your days with joy
Advocate for yourself
I head back into the throws of recovery from hip revision surgery this week so if it’s in your heart to send me some well wishes, I will gratefully accept them. If you’re curious about the details and would like to hear how the invitation to practice my word for the year — equanimity — is being played out. Take a listen to this.
My YouTube channel has a dedicated playlist of my hip replacement tips and tricks. I will be adding to them as we move along this time. I hope you find them useful.
How can we maintain our strength and equilibrium in the face of our greatest challenge?
When we are going through a health challenge it is so important to remember that mindful healing is a big part of the successful outcome we wish for.
Tips & Tricks to Mindful Healing
Each morning I sit and read something with the intent to be inspired or at the minimum give me something to ponder throughout the day. This morning I reached for my Yoga 365 book and today’s passage was so aligned with a video I created yesterday. In the video I talk about the mindful ways we can bring an added element to our healing process.
For me specifically with my recent hip surgery, I am implementing a few strategies that doctors do not necessarily tell you when you are faced with a major surgery. While I greatly appreciate the practical things that a person needs, it is the nuances of daily living that I believe go quite far in the healing process.
Our mindset will greatly influence our mental health during any sort of healing process, whether it is a surgery, an illness or a major life upheaval.
These six mindful healing tips are perfect for anyone:
Keeping a daily routine.
If you have always been a person who gets up and reads, or meditates, or journals, or prays, then keep doing that. Don’t sacrifice your spiritual practice because your physical body is working hard to improve. Also, if you are a person that gets up every day and puts a little makeup on, then keep doing that. Taking care of yourself and helping yourself to feel somewhat “normal” during this temporary healing time will do wonders for your happiness factor. Finally, getting dressed everyday and getting out of your pajamas (even if you wear comfy house clothes), the simple act of getting up and dressed everyday will send a message to your brain that you are in fact getting better. Plus, you’ll look better and when we look better, we have a tendency to feel better. I am a huge fan of lipstick and mascara and not a single day has passed that I don’t take the five minutes to make myself feel beautiful.
Develop a mindset of gratitude.
Each day I spend a few minutes in deep gratitude for the surgeon and for the implant in my body. Even though I still have a lot of pain and mobility is hard, I am mindful each day to thank my body for accepting this new joint and welcoming it into my body. I am grateful for my cells moving around my body to encourage healing. I am grateful for my strong muscles that are working hard to regain their strength to support the new joint. When we shift our mindset from a pain point to a gratitude point, our entire mental outlook can shift. Sure, it would be easy to sit in my 3 days worn pajamas and mope that my body hasn’t healed as fast as what others have, and I could complain that the surgery must have somehow gone wrong, and my immune system is overactive causing extra pain, OR I could embrace this new challenge through the lens of gratitude and be intentional about loving this new body part.
Speak kindly to yourself and others.
We have all heard that kindness is the path to a better world. Speaking kindly about yourself and to yourself during this time of vulnerability is so important. Falling into the trap of self-pity, or worse self-defeating language will only slow your progress. For the people who are helping you, they are doing their very best to make sure that you are healing and comfortable and if you are a person who is usually very self-sufficient, it can be emotionally draining on your family and friends to see you in a different way. Be kind and thank them for every small thing that they are now doing for you. We have a tendency to be hardest on ourselves and those closest to us so remembering to speak kindly will be a huge asset to you.
Setting up your space.
The doctor will likely give you a few tips to get your home ready for when you come home from surgery–things like remove loose area rugs, move items to waist level, get your medications refilled, have a grabber for picking up dropped items, etc. These are all great and much needed suggestions, however I found a few more things that have helped me feel better. I made sure that the items I use regularly like essential oils, diffusers, herbal teas, supplements, hand lotion, and other self care items are accessible. I created a space in my house specifically for this healing process where I have a comfy chair, a basket of healthy snacks, a stash of essential oils, books, my iPad, beautiful plants, and plenty of chargers within one room. This eliminates the constant need for someone to run get something for me AND it gives my space the homey and comfortable feel. Imagine trying to heal in a cold, dark, sterile, or dingy environment. Yuck. Make your space pretty and just what YOU like because you are gonna be there a while.
You have to have movement.
Any type of movement to get circulation going is so imperative. If you have had hip surgery like me, move your upper body. If you have had shoulder surgery, move your lower body. At the minimum move your spine in all six directions once a day. It literally takes five minutes and will increase circulation, get your chi moving and make you feel good which are all good things when it comes to healing. Movement is medicine.
Start a new hobby.
You might be thinking that a new hobby right now is too overwhelming but the distraction will shift your awareness from hurting to something productive and potentially fun. If you have never been a big reader, now is a great time to download your free library app and start borrowing books, or ask to borrow books from friends. Maybe you have always wanted to learn how to knit or crochet. YouTube is filled with tutorials and Amazon delivers yarn and crochet hooks. Perhaps you have been wanting to take up writing your own blog on a topic you are passionate about. I have enjoyed crocheting, jigsaw puzzles on my iPad, digital planning, and making sourdough anything. The joy factor is increases while I am doing those activities and my mind is less focused on hurting.
Mindful Healing
These are easy ways to maintain your strength and equilibrium while faced with one of the hardest things you may ever go through. Mindful healing is something you can do! By redirecting my thoughts, speaking kindly, wearing my favorite shade of lipstick and clean clothes everyday, easy movements, eating healthy organic cashews and sipping tea, AND feeding my brain with wholesome hobbies while being SO grateful, I am on my way!
