Divine Compensation

I probably get asked more than anything (besides if you have to be able to touch your toes to do yoga), why I am a donation only studio versus a set fee, or membership style studio.

My quick answer is because I never want to assume what people can pay.  My long answer has much more to do with divine compensation and universal love.

I believe more than anything that yoga should be for everyone.  That doesn’t mean it should be free for everyone, but it should be accessible for everyone.  If someone truly does not have the means to pay for a class, should they go without? I say no. This also doesn’t mean that my work should be considered devalued because I choose to not tell you what to pay,  and therefore free.  It means I trust you to pay. And finally, it means that you get to decide if you live by the honor system and if you want to be part of the universal circulation of goodness.

It’s really up to you. If you fear not having enough, you probably won’t have enough.  If you choose faith and love, the universe listens and I am certain you will have enough….more than enough.

I am excited to have my entire library of yoga, chair yoga, and pilates videos up on my website.  Just pop over here and find one that draws you in.

So as you want to have, the question is are you willing to give?

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Lucky?

Over the last few weeks, more and more people have mentioned to me that they think  I am lucky.  People have said thing like I am lucky because I have an amazing house, lucky I have my own studio, lucky I can still make a living during the COVID outbreak, lucky I have amazing sons, and lucky I am active, thin and healthy.

Lucky? How about instead I made choices.  I made really important, life-changing, courageous choices. These choices were made with the Divine guidance of Spirit consistently nudging me along. There were many times that I was not able to see the clear path, but somewhere deep inside of me, I had faith, even when I did not know it existed. When I chose to commit to becoming the best version of myself and to be of service to my family and the world, the things that might appear to others as luck, became my well-deserved life that continues to be in alignment with Spirit.

First of all, I never got a penny of alimony following my divorce and I received child support for about a year. The inheritance I got when my father died was simply $100. I paid the full listing price for the house I bought from my mom.  Nothing was handed to me. I have earned every single amazing lucky thing that I have. I chose to create this lucky life.

Here is how:

My first major choice came when I was facing a divorce with three young children, one of whom is disabled.  I chose to commit to being the best mom (and dad) I could be.  I chose to keep the stability of my home for my kids at the cost of eating way too much french toast and hamburger helper sans hamburger.  I chose to stand my ground when it came to raising them with integrity and values. No matter how strapped we were for food, I can see now that something much greater than me was operating and we were always provided for and somehow, we made it. My grown men are amazing people and luck has nothing to do with it.

The second major choice came on an early spring day.  I woke up one day knowing that I was tired of being heavy.  I was done with eating unconsciously and I was done self-loathing my size 16 body. So, I chose to get a weightloss book and take action.  I stopped the habits of mindless snacking and afternoons lazily laying on the sofa.  I even gave up ice cream and wine!  I chose to create new habits; daily walks twice a day, preparing healthy snacks, using smaller plates, putting the kid’s snacks in a high cabinet that required serious thought to scramble with a chair for a goldfish cracker, I taught them to wash their own dishes so that I no longer cleaned their plate while I loaded the dishwasher, I chewed gum while I cooked so I would not be tempted to taste-test each step.  I chose health.  I chose to love myself enough to stop unhealthy habits and instead make new habits.

The third major choice I made was on another spring day when someone recommended that I read the book Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss.  I remembered the day I was listening to her audio version while I was out for a second walk, and the moment I felt as if God was speaking directly to me, I got it.  I chose to wake up.  I chose to live in alignment with who I wanted to be.  I chose to live with the right thought, right actions, and right words. I chose to feel the indwelling Spirit as me become, and radiate, the Light I had always been, rather than hide behind the chronic complaining and blaming.  I chose to let go of anger and disappointment and welcome in forgiveness.  I chose love.

The fourth major choice I made was investing myself into radical personal development books and courses.  I immersed myself in therapy.  I gave myself the gift of learning boundaries and self-love practices.  I began taking yoga classes.  I got back on a bicycle.  I surrounded myself with people who uplifted me. I said yes to joy. I committed to a rigorous financial plan that set me on course to someday own a home, be financially self-sufficient and stable, and save each and every month. I chose to take ownership of my life.

The fifth major choice I made was to listen to the longing in my soul and share yoga and the process of waking up with anyone willing to say yes.  And, this included my heart and passion of reaching those with disabilities or other barriers to a traditional practice.  I said yes to my purpose.  I said yes to the gift Spirit chose for me to share. I chose to listen and take action.  I left a j.o.b. and I ended a relationship that gave me financially security, but left me empty and alone. I chose to be free.

You see none of what I have is luck.  None of what I have was given to me by another human.  Nobody saved me and nobody did this for me.  I did it.

I co-created through Divine Love the life I wanted and then with an open heart, I said yes!

That is a choice, not one bit of luck.

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Reverence 2020

I have chosen a word–or an intention–for my year for the last seventeen years. I have come to believe that this word becomes the thread that gets woven into the tapestry of our lives. Every year I marvel at how the word shows up or how the intention asks me to be pay attention in ways that I may have otherwise missed.

Choosing a word has always been easy for me. I typically start to feel a ruminating happen around mid-December as the current year begins to close up. I start to review the experiences that I have had throughout the year, purging what no longer serves me and making space for new things that will. I carefully choose what I want to hold onto and release the rest.

It occurred to me this morning that the last three years intentions have been very active, strong, even forceful at times in their feel. The past three years I have been on a mission of incredibly hard work, proving to myself I am beyond capable, establishing myself being a successful entrepreneur, healing from horrific pain, pushing through my limits and identifying false beliefs…basic badass mentality for at least three years.

No more.

Truth is I am exhausted. I am tired of the push. Although I had the best financial year of my life, my body paid a price. The success of last year was awesome. The people I met, the lives I helped change, the excitement of building an amazing business and solid reputation was by far one of the best feelings that I have ever had. But I hurt and I am depleted.

Being a full time yoga teacher may seem glamorous but the reality is, it is incredibly challenging. The energy and intention that is required to show up and hold space for others takes a tremendous amount of presence. Add to that, a yoga teacher doesn’t exactly make a ton of money, so in order to be successful, you have to teach many classes. That pressure combined with being the sole person responsible for a disabled adult child has been an incredible load. But, I did it. I built an incredible foundation to my business and I have a solid flow of goodness.

Earlier this fall I got the news I have been part avoiding and part dreading. After fifteen years of being followed by rheumatology for chronic pain, fibromyalgia and other vague auto-immune symptoms, I received the diagnosis of lupus. It was one of many pebbles that were thrown at me over the last few years in an attempt to get my attention. This was a big pebble and it definitely got my attention.

As I entered into this year I decided no more power words for me. I am moving out of the fire-filled solar plexus energy where action and “doing” exist and I am now moving up into the heart space. It is here that the breath is spacious and full and the energy is softer. The heart space is a bridge to just pause. To just be. To breathe. And as I do this, I can feel the shift coming to a glorious softening.

I chose the word REVERENCE for 2020. Reverence to me means to regard or treat with a deep respect and honor. I want reverence to be woven into every action I take. I want to be reverent towards my body, my students, my family, my people, my neighbors, my community, my planet. I also believe that being a reverent business women means that I infuse a new energy into being an entrepreneur. It means that my business model has shifted from a dynamic that is motivated by profits that are generated by serving others, to a dynamic of serving others that is made possible by profits.

When I choose a word, I post it in as many places as I can and I choose to make it part of my everyday life. This year I even made up a blend of essential oils, flowers and crystals to wear everyday.

In my blend I have included the following:

  • arborvitae (peace and grace)
  • birch (feeling supported)
  • black pepper (authentic)
  • cardamom (respect)
  • cassia (feeling valued)
  • copaiba (inner guidance and integrity)
  • douglas fir (respect and wisdom)
  • frankincense (truth and discernment)
  • hinoki (feeling balanced)
  • patchouli (body connection)
  • magnolia (compassion)
  • lime (gratitude)
  • pink pepper (compassion)
  • roman chamomile (guided)
  • rose (loving kindness)
  • spikenard (grateful)
  • vetiver (presence)
  • Rose flower buds (love, respect, devotion)
  • rose quartz (love and compassion, heart chakra)

I loaded all of these into a gloriously large 30ml roller bottle. My favorite 30ml bottles are here. I apply this to my heart everyday and along my wrists to grab a smell anytime I need to come back to reverence.

Have you chosen a word for 2020? I would love to hear from you what you have chosen to create.