2020 Year in Review

Ahhhhh.the final day of 2020. It has been a transformative year for me in so many ways. When I pulled up my #bestnine photos I was happy to see that two of my favorite quotes made the cut.

Mindset IS everything.

Like so many people, my life that I knew came to an abrupt stop March 7th—my studio closed, the gym I taught at closed, the long term care centers and clinics I saw clients in closed, and my daughters adult day programming closed.I needed to generate an income to sustain my life AND meet the needs of my kid. Within 36 hours my entire business went online and I was again navigating meaningful and purposeful activities for my girl to do while at home, and still maintain her social skills, advocating skills and navigating the community.

My mindset HAD to shift, and shift quickly. What once was daunting to me, has now become second nature. I actually like the camera! And the growth I have seen in my daughter these last nine months has solidified my belief that the services in the community need a serious overhaul before I would consider putting her back in a program.

The other quote that popped up inspired me to be open to anything…to allow myself to become what I want by moving through the challenges with grace, hard work and a bunch of faith.The cute little gal in the photos showed up so much because my life changed SO much this year, I was able to spend weekly time with my little mini-me. The special bond that we have developed would not have happened if not for the major changes to my work schedule.

A major ankle surgery and looking forward to the next season of my life inspired me to practice radical self-love. To say no when I needed to, to take extra long bubble baths and be willing to receive help and accept a pace of healing that has been incredibly slow. I recognized the boundaries that were needed to keep my heart in a good space. I learned to let go.

For me, 2020 has been remarkable. My word this year was REVERENCE—a deep honor and respect for all things and experiences. I’d say I embraced it beautifully.

Reverence 2020

I have chosen a word–or an intention–for my year for the last seventeen years. I have come to believe that this word becomes the thread that gets woven into the tapestry of our lives. Every year I marvel at how the word shows up or how the intention asks me to be pay attention in ways that I may have otherwise missed.

Choosing a word has always been easy for me. I typically start to feel a ruminating happen around mid-December as the current year begins to close up. I start to review the experiences that I have had throughout the year, purging what no longer serves me and making space for new things that will. I carefully choose what I want to hold onto and release the rest.

It occurred to me this morning that the last three years intentions have been very active, strong, even forceful at times in their feel. The past three years I have been on a mission of incredibly hard work, proving to myself I am beyond capable, establishing myself being a successful entrepreneur, healing from horrific pain, pushing through my limits and identifying false beliefs…basic badass mentality for at least three years.

No more.

Truth is I am exhausted. I am tired of the push. Although I had the best financial year of my life, my body paid a price. The success of last year was awesome. The people I met, the lives I helped change, the excitement of building an amazing business and solid reputation was by far one of the best feelings that I have ever had. But I hurt and I am depleted.

Being a full time yoga teacher may seem glamorous but the reality is, it is incredibly challenging. The energy and intention that is required to show up and hold space for others takes a tremendous amount of presence. Add to that, a yoga teacher doesn’t exactly make a ton of money, so in order to be successful, you have to teach many classes. That pressure combined with being the sole person responsible for a disabled adult child has been an incredible load. But, I did it. I built an incredible foundation to my business and I have a solid flow of goodness.

Earlier this fall I got the news I have been part avoiding and part dreading. After fifteen years of being followed by rheumatology for chronic pain, fibromyalgia and other vague auto-immune symptoms, I received the diagnosis of lupus. It was one of many pebbles that were thrown at me over the last few years in an attempt to get my attention. This was a big pebble and it definitely got my attention.

As I entered into this year I decided no more power words for me. I am moving out of the fire-filled solar plexus energy where action and “doing” exist and I am now moving up into the heart space. It is here that the breath is spacious and full and the energy is softer. The heart space is a bridge to just pause. To just be. To breathe. And as I do this, I can feel the shift coming to a glorious softening.

I chose the word REVERENCE for 2020. Reverence to me means to regard or treat with a deep respect and honor. I want reverence to be woven into every action I take. I want to be reverent towards my body, my students, my family, my people, my neighbors, my community, my planet. I also believe that being a reverent business women means that I infuse a new energy into being an entrepreneur. It means that my business model has shifted from a dynamic that is motivated by profits that are generated by serving others, to a dynamic of serving others that is made possible by profits.

When I choose a word, I post it in as many places as I can and I choose to make it part of my everyday life. This year I even made up a blend of essential oils, flowers and crystals to wear everyday.

In my blend I have included the following:

  • arborvitae (peace and grace)
  • birch (feeling supported)
  • black pepper (authentic)
  • cardamom (respect)
  • cassia (feeling valued)
  • copaiba (inner guidance and integrity)
  • douglas fir (respect and wisdom)
  • frankincense (truth and discernment)
  • hinoki (feeling balanced)
  • patchouli (body connection)
  • magnolia (compassion)
  • lime (gratitude)
  • pink pepper (compassion)
  • roman chamomile (guided)
  • rose (loving kindness)
  • spikenard (grateful)
  • vetiver (presence)
  • Rose flower buds (love, respect, devotion)
  • rose quartz (love and compassion, heart chakra)

I loaded all of these into a gloriously large 30ml roller bottle. My favorite 30ml bottles are here. I apply this to my heart everyday and along my wrists to grab a smell anytime I need to come back to reverence.

Have you chosen a word for 2020? I would love to hear from you what you have chosen to create.