Living in Alignment: Discovering Your True Values Through Mindfulness
In the busyness of daily life, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters. Yet deep within each of us lives a set of guiding values—compassion, honesty, kindness, presence—that serve as an inner compass. When we pause long enough to listen, mindfulness helps us reconnect with these truths and live with greater intention. I like to think of these values as the roots of ourselves, much like a tree.
Tuning Inward
Through mindfulness, we begin to notice the subtle ways our actions either align with or drift away from our deepest values. This gentle awareness isn’t about judgment, but about clarity. It allows us to ask: Am I living in a way that reflects what I truly believe?
Living Authentically
When our daily choices reflect our values, life feels less scattered and more grounded. Instead of moving through the world on autopilot, we experience a sense of balance, authenticity, and peace. Mindfulness becomes not just a practice on the cushion, but a way of walking through life.
An Invitation to Pause
Take a few moments today to pause and reflect:
• What values are most important to me?
• Where in my life am I living in alignment with them?
• Where might I gently realign?
These reflections are simple yet powerful steps toward living with authenticity and purpose.
Living in alignment with your values is not only empowering—it is the foundation of a mindful, intentional life.
Stay Connected
If this reflection resonates with you, I invite you to like, share, and subscribe for more mindfulness practices, reflections, and guided meditations. Subscribe here for gentle yoga, chronic pain support, and mindful movement.
Take a listen as I walk you through discovering your roots.
If you love my content and want more tools for mindfulness & movement, check out my digital products on my digital storefront!
Looking for the tools and products I swear by? Visit my Amazon storefront for a handpicked collection of my favorite finds—from kitchen gadgets to wellness essentials. Click here to explore and shop my must-haves.
Interested in being part of my essential oil community and are ready to start using pure essential oils, shop here or email me for a free 1:1 consultation.
Gratitude has the power to shift our perspective, calm our nervous system, and bring us back to what truly matters. That’s why I’m so excited to share my new Daily Drop of Gratitude series — short 3–5 minute guided meditations now available on the Insight Timer app.
This series was created to help you pause each day and reconnect with gratitude in a simple, approachable way. No matter how busy life feels, you can take just a few mindful minutes to cultivate appreciation — and let that ripple out into the rest of your day.
Why Gratitude?
Science shows that practicing gratitude regularly can:
Reduce stress and anxiety
Improve sleep and overall well-being
Strengthen relationships and connection
Foster resilience, even in challenging times
A daily gratitude practice doesn’t need to be long or complicated. Even just a few mindful breaths of appreciation can change the tone of your entire day.
What to Expect in the Daily Drop of Gratitude
Each day, you’ll be guided through a short practice centered around a theme of gratitude — for your breath, your body, nature, connection, lessons learned, the present moment, and for life itself. These meditations are designed to be approachable, whether you’re brand-new to meditation or already have a practice.
Each session includes:
A gentle moment to settle in
A focused reflection on gratitude
A short closing to carry gratitude into your day
The beauty of this series is in its simplicity: just 3–5 minutes a day is enough.
How to Begin
All you need is a quiet space and a few minutes. Open the Insight Timer app, search for Daily Drop of Gratitude, and choose a session that calls to you. You can listen in the morning to set the tone for your day, or at night as a gentle reflection before sleep.
Join Me in Gratitude
My hope is that this practice helps you build a habit of gratitude that feels supportive and nourishing. When we pause to notice and appreciate the good — big or small — we align ourselves with joy, peace, and presence.
I’d love for you to join me for this series and make gratitude a daily ritual. Sometimes, the smallest moments have the biggest impact.
? Ready to begin? Subscribe to me on the Insight Timer app and take your first mindful step into gratitude today. The Daily Drop of Gratitude will be uploaded soon!
If you love my content and want more tools for mindfulness & movement, check out my digital products on my digital storefront!
Looking for the tools and products I swear by? Visit my Amazon storefront for a handpicked collection of my favorite finds—from kitchen gadgets to wellness essentials. Click here to explore and shop my must-haves.
Interested in being part of my essential oil community and are ready to start using pure essential oils, shop here or email me for a free 1:1 consultation.
There’s a quiet magic in letting go. Life often teaches us that holding on—whether to people, habits, expectations, or old stories—can feel safe, familiar, even comforting. Yet, in that very holding on, we may unknowingly close the door to something new, something richer, something that our heart has been quietly waiting for.
“When you let go, you make space for something else.”
Letting go is like the rhythm of the seasons. Consider the tree: in autumn, it releases its leaves—not as a loss, but as a necessary step to conserve energy, grow stronger roots, and prepare for the new life that spring will bring. When we release what no longer serves us—old habits, limiting beliefs, toxic relationships—we lighten our load, create space for clarity, and allow ourselves to grow in ways we couldn’t while holding on.
The benefits of letting go are profound:
Emotional freedom: Lightening the weight of what holds you back can reduce stress and open your heart to joy.
Mental clarity: Releasing mental clutter helps you focus on what truly matters.
New opportunities: Letting go creates space for growth, creativity, and connections that align with your highest self.
Deeper self-trust: Each act of release is an exercise in courage, intuition, and faith in life’s unfolding.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up and doesn’t mean you failed. It’s an act of courage, a soulful acknowledgment that what’s meant for you cannot thrive while your hands are full of what no longer serves you.
So today, take a moment to notice: what in your life is asking to be released? What can you gently set down to allow room for growth, love, and new beginnings? And remember, the space you create is sacred. It is a canvas for the beautiful, unexpected, and transformative possibilities waiting to enter your life.
Mindful Practice:
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, and as you exhale, imagine releasing one thing you’ve been holding onto—fear, doubt, old pain. Feel the lightness that follows. Open your heart to what might come next.
Affirmation:
I release what no longer serves me and welcome the blessings waiting for me.
If you love my content and want more tools for mindfulness & movement, check out my digital products on my digital storefront!
Ignite Your Inner Seeker: How Personal Development and Books Can Transform Your Life
There’s something quietly magical about the moment you decide to seek more — more understanding, more growth, more connection to yourself and the world around you. Personal development is not just a goal; it’s a sacred journey, a gentle unfolding of who you are meant to be.
Reading books is one of the most beautiful gateways to this journey. Each page offers not only knowledge but also inspiration, compassion, and a spark of possibility. Books become companions, mentors, and mirrors that help us see ourselves more clearly, encouraging us to dream bigger and dig deeper.
When you dive into personal development through reading, you invite transformation. You learn to listen to the whispers of your heart, challenge limiting beliefs, and nurture resilience. This process awakens the seeker within — that part of you that is curious, courageous, and committed to becoming the best version of yourself.
The benefits are profound:
You cultivate greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
You develop tools to navigate life’s challenges with grace.
You open yourself to new perspectives that expand your understanding and compassion.
You build confidence in your ability to grow and change.
You create space for healing, hope, and renewed purpose.
If you’re ready to ignite your own journey, I’d love to share some of my top favorite books that have fueled my path of growth and healing. These selections offer wisdom, practical guidance, and soulful encouragement to support you wherever you are on your journey.
May these books inspire you to seek boldly, grow gently, and shine your light fully.
If you love my content and want more tools for mindfulness & movement, check out my digital products on Buy Me a Coffee! Your support helps me continue creating.
Looking for the tools and products I swear by? Visit my Amazon storefront for a handpicked collection of my favorite finds—from kitchen gadgets to wellness essentials. Click here to explore and shop my must-haves.
Interested in being part of my essential oil community and are ready to start using pure essential oils, shop here or email me for a free 1:1 consultation.
Balancing Your Energy: An Introduction to Chakras, Crystals, Essential Oils & Yoga
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel disconnected from ourselves—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. One gentle way to restore harmony is by tuning into the chakra system, the body’s energetic centers. This ancient system reminds us that healing often begins within, and that we are whole, vibrant beings made of energy, breath, and intention.
The chakras are seven main energy centers that run along the spine, each associated with specific emotional and physical states. When energy flows freely, we feel balanced and alive. When blocked, we might notice tension, fatigue, or emotional overwhelm.
Here’s a simple guide to each chakra—and how yoga, essential oils, and crystals can support balance and well-being:
Root Chakra (Muladhara)
Theme: Safety, stability, grounding
Yoga: Child’s pose, mountain pose
Oil: Vetiver, patchouli
Crystal: Red jasper, hematite Try standing barefoot on the earth and breathing deeply to feel grounded.
Sacral Chakra (Svadhisthana)
Theme: Creativity, pleasure, emotional flow
Yoga: Hip circles, goddess pose
Oil: Sweet orange, ylang ylang
Crystal: Carnelian Place a warm compress on your lower belly and breathe into your creative center.
Solar Plexus Chakra (Manipura)
Theme: Confidence, personal power
Yoga: Warrior II, boat pose
Oil: Lemon, ginger
Crystal: Citrine, tiger’s eye Use empowering affirmations like: “I am strong. I am capable.”
Heart Chakra (Anahata)
Theme: Love, compassion, connection
Yoga: Cobra pose, heart openers
Oil: Rose, geranium
Crystal: Rose quartz, green aventurine Place your hand on your heart and take three long breaths of love and kindness.
Throat Chakra (Vishuddha)
Theme: Communication, truth, expression
Yoga: Neck rolls, shoulder stand (modified)
Oil: Peppermint, eucalyptus
Crystal: Blue lace agate, aquamarine Journal your truth or speak an affirmation aloud.
Third Eye Chakra (Ajna)
Theme: Intuition, insight, inner wisdom
Yoga: Child’s pose, supported forward fold
Oil: Clary sage, frankincense
Crystal: Amethyst, lapis lazuli Meditate with your eyes closed and bring attention to the space between your eyebrows.
Crown Chakra (Sahasrara)
Theme: Spiritual connection, oneness
Yoga: Meditation, seated stillness
Oil: Lavender, sandalwood
Crystal: Clear quartz, selenite Practice stillness and visualize a gentle light above your head.
You don’t need to do everything all at once. Start small. Choose one chakra to focus on this week—use a crystal, diffuse an oil, or add a mindful movement. Energy healing is a journey, and the more we tend to our energy body, the more vibrant and aligned we feel. I have a full breakdown of each chakra that includes a yoga practice, discussion, and tips for balancing.
If you love my content and want more tools for mindfulness & movement, check out my digital products on Buy Me a Coffee! Your support helps me continue creating.
“As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise, you will miss most of your life.” — Buddha
A Day in the Life: My Mindful Routine
Mindfulness is more than a practice—it’s a way of living that allows us to stay present, reduce stress, and embrace each moment with intention. Over the years, I’ve developed a daily routine that supports my healing, fosters inner peace, and helps me move through my day with more awareness and gratitude. In this post, I’ll walk you through my mindful routine, offering practical tips that you can incorporate into your own life. If you’d like a deeper dive, be sure to check out my podcast episode on this very topic!
Morning Mindfulness Rituals
The way we start our day sets the tone for everything that follows. Instead of rushing into the morning, I take time to ease in with intention.
Breath Awareness: Before getting out of bed, I take a few deep breaths, tuning in to my body and setting an intention for the day.
Gratitude Practice: I reflect on three things I’m grateful for, which shifts my mindset toward appreciation.
Gentle Movement: A short stretching or chair yoga practice helps awaken my body and ease any stiffness.
Mindful Sipping: I make my morning tea or coffee a ritual, savoring each sip instead of mindlessly drinking while multitasking.
Try This: Before reaching for your phone in the morning, take five deep breaths and set an intention for your day. Notice how it shifts your mindset!
Midday Practices for Presence and Grounding
The middle of the day can often feel hectic, so I incorporate small mindful moments to stay balanced and centered.
Mindful Eating: I slow down and focus on my meals, appreciating the flavors, textures, and nourishment they provide.
Stretch Breaks: Gentle stretching or a short movement break helps prevent stiffness and resets my energy.
Fresh Air & Stillness: Stepping outside, even for a few minutes, to breathe deeply and notice my surroundings keeps me grounded.
Pause & Reset: If I feel overwhelmed, I take a few conscious breaths to recenter.
Try This: Set a reminder on your phone to take a deep breath and stretch mid-afternoon. A few mindful moments can bring a fresh sense of clarity to your day.
Evening Wind-Down and Reflection
As the day comes to a close, I focus on slowing down and preparing my mind and body for rest.
Digital Detox: I set aside my phone at least an hour before bed to reduce stimulation.
Journaling: I write down a few reflections on my day, focusing on what brought me joy and what I learned.
Restorative Yoga or Breathwork: A few minutes of gentle stretching or deep breathing helps signal to my body that it’s time to relax.
Gratitude Reflection: Before closing my eyes, I think of three positive moments from my day.
Try This: Before bed, take a few moments to reflect on something that went well today. It can be a small win, a kind interaction, or a moment of peace.
Encouraging Your Own Mindful Routine
Mindfulness isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. Your routine doesn’t have to look exactly like mine; the key is to find small, meaningful ways to weave mindfulness into your day. Whether it’s taking deep breaths in the morning, savoring your meals, or ending the day with gratitude, every mindful moment adds up to a more intentional life.
If you’re curious to hear more about how mindfulness supports my journey, tune in to my podcast episode, A Day in the Life: My Mindful Routine. I’d love to hear about your own mindful practices—feel free to share in the comments!
If you love my content and want more tools for mindfulness & movement, check out my digital products on Buy Me a Coffee! Your support helps me continue creating.
Most times when we do experiences pain, we deny it for a multitude of reasons. In my case I used to deny my pain so that I was always viewed as strong. I am not super open about my personal pain but I am realizing that may not be the way.
Finding fellowship with others can add value to our lives and sometimes it’s nice to not feel alone.
Experiencing Pain
Usually when we talk about pain, we talk about how much pain impacts us negatively. I mean, there is truth in that. Typically when we are experiencing pain it doesn’t lend itself to creating the best life. And feeling weak is also not a fun feeling and sadly, it usually goes hand in hand with pain.
Over the years I have been on both sides of that spectrum. I have felt deep, emotional pain and loss. I have also endured incredible physical pain that few really know about. I have minimized and usually have kept quiet about much of my pain. I have also created an amazing life and career that I believe would not have evolved without pain.
Certainly, at times I wish I didn’t have pain.
Using the Pain for Fuel
The pain that I have endured in my adult life has been fuel to help me become my best.
Some of my first pain came when I realized that my beautiful daughter was born disabled. When realizing I would not be having typical experiences with her, I was angry. I was deeply saddened and felt incredibly alone. I felt cheated and that life was unfair. I lived in an area of town that had a relatively upscale school system where the focus was on perfection. Her being different did not lend itself to being included. While other little girls were being invited to birthday parties, my little girl was being shunned. People were leading their children away from her because she was different.
Around the same time this was happening, my marriage was falling apart. Soon I was a single mom with three kids and no job.
Having opted to have children instead of going to college, I didn’t have many skills. I learned to be anincredible advocate for my daughter. I could’ve chosen to wallow in the crappy cards that I was dealt. Or sit in sorrow. Instead, I chose to get going on my life.
Long after my divorce when my children’s father died, I went through a similar feeling of isolation and loneliness. His death put a huge reality of the finality of being a single parent. There was no longer any far fetched wish that he would decide one day to be involved.
Pain as Failures or Opportunities
A couple of marriages might be seen as failures, or they could be seen as amazing opportunities. I learned to see my part in the dysfunction of relationships, and begin to do differently. The breakups were grueling. Sure, I could give you a laundry list of all the things that they did wrong, but that would not be useful for growth. Instead I learned to look at my part on the dysfunction and my own abandonment and anger issues. I chose to resolve the deep wounds and allow them to scar over.
Living with Pain
I’ve lived with chronic pain for nearly 25 years. I first began to see a pain management specialist to manage my ongoing pain all the way back in 2007. At the same time, I was developing a deep love affair with Yoga. While I was hoping that the Yoga practice itself would help me manage my pain, and it has in many ways, it wasn’t the end all. Many failed surgeries and many failed attempts to reduce my pain could easily cause me to break. I could be sitting at home and complaining about what my body cannot do anymore, or I could be taking as many walks a day that I have time for while feeling the sun on my face and the breeze on my skin and feeling completely and totally alive.
I could spend my days complaining about my pain or I could spend my days having compassion for those who also have pain. I could use my pain as an attention seeking tool to have people feel sorry for me, or I could use my pain in a humble way to inspire people to live their best life.
Pain as Inspiration
You see, we all have pain. And the way that you and I handle pain is individual. This isn’t a blast on those who maybe don’t see through the same lens that I do. I just know that my pain is what inspires me to get up every day and be the best I can for my students, my kids, those who I love, and mostly for myself.
One thing that I do know for certain is this – my experience with pain has shown me just how strong I really am. It is showing me how adaptable and innovative I am. It has shown me the very essence of my spirit. Had I not experienced the pain, I may not have ever witnessed this amazing woman who writes this post. Without becoming this amazing woman, I would not developed beautiful connections in the community where I could use the pain that I once experienced with my daughter to be an advocate for those who can’t advocate for themselves. I would not be able to sit with someone else’s physical pain because I wouldn’t understand it if I didn’t have my own.
Pain is not the enemy here. Pain is actually the gift.
My pain has made me invincible.
Here is how I used pain to turn it into some useful in my life:
I let go of expectations of others
I learned to love myself
I made time for me
I chose me
I let go of people who did not align with my greatest potential
I released negativity in my life
I surrounded myself with love
I began to pay attention to my thoughts, words and actions
I stopped complaining and gossiping
I let go of competition with others
I accepted myself and the choices I had previously made
I practiced daily gratitude which made me actively seek out good in my life
I forgave others and myself
I stopped doubting myself
Not sure where to start? I would begin by listening to the thoughts you have and the words you speak, especially about yourself. You might just see that shifting those two things to something more loving with start the process.
Habits are often described as good or bad. I say a habit is neither. Habits truly are the foundation of building and creating a life you want. Would you like a different outcome? Look at your habits and see which ones are directing you to that dream, and which habits are getting in the way. Do habits change your mindset? Let’s take a look.
“Whenever you want to change your behavior, you can simply ask yourself: How can I make it obvious? “
Look at Your Habits
How does your day begin? Do you grab your phone and begin scrolling? That may or may not be a good thing. If you find it triggers anxiety or sucks you into online debates, then it probably isn’t a great idea. If it inspires your work, feeds your soul or informs you with information that serves you, then it might be a good idea. Do your habits feed your soul?
Do you have a habit of doubting yourself? How does that serve you? Is that self doubt fueling you to do better? Or does that habit bog you down where you can’t proceed with a direction?
Have you found yourself mindlessly eating? Is that a habit that could be replaced with someone healthier? Mindlessly going through your day can lead you to a very dissatisfying outcome.
How to Change or Build Habits
Building in a few simple supports to increase helpful habits and eliminate less helpful habits may be helpful.
Decide what habits are working and what aren’t. Are your daily habits leading you to the life you want? Adjusting your daily habits to serve you puts you in control for creating your life. A stable mind and an open heart is available, unless your habits are preventing that from happening.
Creating a visual schedule. Checklists, sticky notes, or a calendar can be a powerful tool to making it happen.
Accountability Partners. Find a friend who has similar goals and desires and use each other to keep you on the track. Relying on someone or being relied on by someone can be a game changer.
When Habits Play with Our Mindset
Sleeping late is fine unless it creates an internal dialogue of negativity about yourself. Evaluating what daily habits are working for you and tweak the ones that aren’t. Staying confident, grounded and centered is the mindset goal. Establishing what IS working for you is the way that you can stay in control of your daily destiny and how this leads you to your dreams.
Not all habits are “bad” and not all are “good. Habits are just part of our routine that establishes a pattern to our life. Finding what daily things you want to do and what you need to do is where you find the mindset to forge ahead.
Bottom Line
Do what works for YOU. Make some changes to your life in small ways and see if you can tweak a few things so that you feel better about yourself, how you spend your days and your overall outlook on life.
Take a listen to this short podcast to learn more!
I thought I had it all figured out when it came to anticipating changes and challenges.
I chose the word vulnerability for 2023 and I thought I was done with being exposed emotionally, having to ask for help and all that other stuff that is so hard for me. Leaving 2023 behind, I was feeling pretty good about my progress in learning to be a little more exposed and willing to ask and receive help.
Little did I know that it was all just practice for the BIG time vulnerability.
For 2024, I opted to work on being okay regardless of what was going on. To be neutral in the midst of chaos and to not waiver when life gets challenging. I want to practice equanimity.
One week ago I had total hip replacement. I opted to go into the process solo knowing that I would be required to have a lot of help at home. My intention while at the hospital for three days was focusing on me. I felt pretty confident going home that I had myself ready. Preparing my house for time spent mostly on one level that has a bathroom and space for me to relax, ice and heal was key. Making sure I had snacks, books, pillows and all the things I felt I would need to limit the constant asking people to get things. I thought I was set.
In many ways I was and am set. Having done seven orthopedic surgeries in seven years prior to this one, I felt fairly confident in my ability to navigate pain, crutches and living in a tri-level house.
I had lots of things however that I did not anticipate. You can read all the articles on what to expect but until you are in it, there really isn’t a true frame of reference. And I will say again, hearing that 80 year olds have this procedure all the time and do great is so not helpful. Part of the gift of living a Yoga lifestyle is learning to truly practice not comparing yourself to anyone, including the 80 year olds that have been sedentary and usually already dependent on others and who will continue to be sedentary and dependent on others. Not the super active, busy changing lives, walking machine like me.
Anticipation is a great thing, until you miss a few things.
What I didn’t anticipate was the fracture in my femur that occurred during installation of my new hip joint. This meant my weight bearing status would be different and the need for that to heal, along with my new hip, would be harder and slower. Adding in the greatest fear ever of dislocation that can occur with one wrong move, I am on hyper alert when it comes to movement.
I also didn’t anticipate the helplessness that would come with the precautions of a total hip replacement. No bending or sitting part a 90 degree bend, no crossing the legs, no twisting the leg or hip internally. So that means pulling up your pants, putting on socks, shaving your legs, reaching for a blanket, dropping your phone, scratching an itch, lifting your leg onto the bed, and so much more. For someone who gets it all done effortlessly this is an abrupt stop to my life.
The simplest of things seem like an ordeal.
Then the WEDGE. The surgeon is very adamant about post-op precautions, especially with a fracture, and sleeping is the craziest thing ever. Between my legs is a large foam wedge that I have secured with four velcro straps to prevent any internal rotation. I also have my blood clot prevention pumpers pushing air in and out around my legs all night. Add in the compression socks that are so tight and itchy. All of this means that I am basically on my back, secured into one position for the night that I cannot get in or out by myself.
Talk about vulnerability.
Lying in bed while I am completely immobilized is the purest of vulnerability. What an opportunity to sit with equanimity and be neutral in the midst of emotional and physical restraint.
I also had no idea the volume of pain I would experience with this. I knew of course there would be pain but the deep, stabbing and burning pain around the joint is unreal. The fracture adds to the pain and the swelling has taken my once toned and slim leg back two decades when I weighed 80 pounds more. Looking down at my leg and seeing the size of my thigh is startling, but it is also temporary.
I know that this week has brought me so much in the form of grace and letting go. It has also invited me to receive like I have never received in my life.
For now, I am icing, walking, resting, and working on allowing the vulnerability to flood my daily experience while also accepting the equanimity that brings a steadiness to me.
Vulnerability is defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.
Brene Brown
When I began 2023 like every other year for the last nearly two decades, I chose a word as a theme or guiding direction that I wanted to bring into my life. It never fails that the word I choose for the year is perfectly suited for the path I take that year. Some years have been incredibly hard, like the year I chose the word peace. That was one of the most challenging years of my life. Go figure. I guess Spirit was asking me to find peace while enduring chaos.
Since we are nearly 3/4 the year through this year I thought I’d spend some time this afternoon thinking about where vulnerability has showed up in my journey this year. I chose the word vulnerability because I wanted to expose myself a bit more, let go of the controlled emotions and often staying in the comfort zone of life. I have a pretty ideal career and my life feels very well rounded and balanced, so rocking the boat a bit initially felt really daunting, but I knew I needed a nudge in the direction of being a little more open. My favorite teacher Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Oh boy. The big question is why if my life is going nearly perfect would I want to invite those three things in?
So far this year I have had the following experiences that required vulnerability:
I opted out of a needed hip replacement and had to advocate for my health despite the encouragement of doctors and family. I had to tap into my inner truth and openly admit that I was terrified and the uncertainty was too great. Admitting the emotion fear is not something I do easily or often. This was huge for me to openly expose an emotion.
Once the hip surgery was put on hold, I stepped into uncertainty by going forward with a knee surgery that was intended to bring some pain relief and hopefully stabilize the hip. Turns out the knee scope was brutal and required me to ask for much needed help and be willing to receive it. Not easy for me.
In early spring I did something wild and totally outside my comfort zone. I bought a Jeep that I had been working towards for many years. May seem like a no big deal for some , but for this frugal girl it was a huge deal.
The risk came when one day I emailed an agency about the adaptive yoga I have been offering in assisted living setting for years. I didn’t need the extra contract but as an entrepreneur you never become passive or assume the contracts you have will always want you. The risk turned into a surprisingly instant contract, but it meant I would give up my beloved Fridays off to add another commute day. I wrestled with it for a weekend and decided to give it a try. My mindset was if I felt overwhelmed I would simple be brave and say that it was more than I could handle. Also, something I don’t do easily. Just three weeks into the month, I got asked to add 16 more homes with this new agency, which took my monthly number up to 46 assisted living group homes a month. Gulp. I said yes.
With all the new contracts, I knew right away I would need to actively seek to mentor other yoga teachers. This meant stepping out of the shadows and exposing myself online as a teacher who thinks outside of the Western view of yoga and be actively open with my opinion and be a tad more outspoken than I tend to be when it comes to yoga. I created an online forum that I lead to educate other yoga teachers on the method I have carefully designed for adults with neurological conditions and other disabilities and be extremely exposed when it comes to my confidence. Hiding in the shadows of my work has been comfortable.
Once the knee healed and I was back to my normal activity, my body decided that my foot needed to fail me and I am now dealing with an extremely inflamed and severely arthritic foot. Again, I am faced with dealing with pain while running a business and a very full life. This means asking for help, taking life a little easier when I can and giving my body so much grace.
One day in July I got a hair brained idea to teach a virtual 30 days of yoga series, beginning August 1. That meant I needed to get myself on a yoga mat everyday and commit to showing up for myself and others. As August 1st approached I was feeling more and more pressure, but it has actually turned out to be amazing. The messages I receive on a daily basis from new students and long time students has been so fulfilling. Plus, getting on my yoga mat (or a chair) everyday has been so great. What I initially felt to be so much added stress has actually turned into so much goodness.
The year is not over and I hope that I continue to grow into my quest to be more vulnerable. I am open to allowing myself to feel more emotions and to living with uncertainty. I have learned that each day is a chance to be present in love, laugh a little more and appreciate the emotions that arise. There are moments every day that ask me to open myself up a tiny bit more to others and to life.
What’s your word of the year? Have you done a check in?
In order to grow we must first remove what it is in the way.
For many years I have been teaching the concept that much like a garden we have outside, before we can plant anything and expect it to grow, we first have to remove all the old stuff, the trash and the things that are cluttering the soil. Today, as I was doing that exact literal thing in my backyard raking leaves and removing last years dead plants that were once so vibrant, I was reminded of the conversation I had this week with a group of men who have traumatic brain injures.
I teach this topic every March, regardless of who is in my classes because I think no matter who you are and what your life experience is, we all have something that is cluttering up our heart and therefore limiting the potential we have to grow. This might be something like fear, disappointment, regret, guilt, shame, resentment, anger or any other feeling and emotion that we have carried around for days or decades.
As I was guiding a meditation about visualizing a garden and seeing the old growth, the twigs and the trash, I asked them each to see a garden in their heart that may also have some things that could be getting in the way of growth.
I shared with my ‘frat house’ that they have fondly referred to themselves as, that I have some disappointment that is taking up space in my own heart. I carry it day after day, year after year and despite all my attempts to pull it out, it seems to have a root system that is deep and new shoots pop up and take over my heart at times.
As we had a discussion about this, they called me out on it and the wise man who developed a life changing brain tumor at age 23 gave me the best insight on how to manage all the little twigs and trash that take up space. He is turning 60 in a a few weeks and following his diagnosis while in his final year of college his life has been a series of assisted living settings and long term support. He lost his independence and so much more, and yet is so wise.
Are you ready for this? In my humbleness, I asked how does one remove all the “twigs and trash” from our hearts. I asked how do I remove the disappointment?
He shared that you can never fully rid of every twig or piece of trash that has landed in the garden, instead you have to learn to manage and grow around them.
Huh, I said.
Tell me more, I said.
He went on to say that the remnants of the the “twigs” and “trash” will likely always be there and sometimes they may stick out of the soil and poke you but our job is to plants things around them so the beauty takes over.
Again, I asked how.
The wise teacher said:
forgiveness
acceptance
gratitude
When we forgive ourselves and others we remove so much of the garbage that fills our heart. This removes resentment, bitterness, and what-if thinking. When we accept was IS we no longer grieve for what might have been which brings presence to growing today. And finally, when we focus on being grateful we see all that we have, not all that we do not have.
How’s that for insightful?
It’s not so much about removing the parts of our heart that impede growth, but rather moving them aside through forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude so that we make space for something far more amazing to grow.
If we want to reclaim the essential emotional part of our lives and reignite our passion and purpose, we have to learn how to own and engage with our vulnerability and how to feel the emotions that come with it. – Brené Brown
It is not like I didn’t know this. I mean, I took a semester long course with Brené Brown and stepped into the world of Daring Greatly and succeeded on many levels. And it’s not like I have not practiced being vulnerable—I left a toxic relationship, quit my job to pursue my passion, bought a house knowing it is all on me and more. I nailed it and became super empowered in the process.
Vulnerability seemed to be a thing I thrive at. Give me a life altering challenge and I will without a doubt do well. But is that really all vulnerability is?
According to Brené vulnerability is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
Huh.
For the last couple months I have been listening to these little soul taps to look under vulnerability. To take a closer look that isn’t about becoming a badass and destroying a challenge. There was a whispering of something softer and different.
And also incredibly scary. I denied those little whispers and wanted desperately to choose a word that was easier and likely something I am already good at.
Seems to me I am able to easily handle uncertainty and risk on some levels but emotional exposure—never.
Maybe it’s my tendency to lean towards Capricorn strength and tenacity while also being a fiery redhead that gives me an unstoppable approach to life’s challenges. I don’t think raising three kids successfully alone could have been achieved any other way, but this is deeper than action. This is way deeper.
Control has always been something that brings me safety. Controlling my environment and the people I let in. Controlling my business and finances with a sharp eye. Controlling my physical health despite lots of pain by working my body to its best health. Controlling my emotions by not putting myself into situations where I might cry (or laugh). Controlling what I need by never asking for help. Exhausting maybe?
Huh.
That all sounds like emotional exposure. Doing something anyway not knowing what the response or outcome might be. Sticking my neck out and hoping for the best.
Being seen.
This is about not just being seen for what I have overcome or what I do. It will require me to being willing to reveal parts of myself that are tucked safely deep down and to do what is uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone.
I did a little exercise in my journal over the last week and here is how I see it:
Vulnerability is —failing, making a mistake, exposing myself publicly, crying, screwing up, feeling scolded, asking for help, not perfecting something, feeling needy or dependent on others, asking for what I need or want and feeling out of control.
Vulnerability feels like—crushing sensation in chest, upset stomach, short breath, panic to flee, racing heart, avoidance.
Vulnerability lookslike— finishing and publishing the book that has been written, asking for help, receiving help, communicating openly with others, asking to be on more podcasts, letting go of some of my high self standards (not failing), finding resolution and peace with pain, being okay with my emotions and letting my emotions be seen.
For 2023 I give myself permission to fail or to succeed. I give myself permission to not do it all alone. I give myself permission to reveal and unfold in a way that stays in alignment with my soul but also welcomes risk. I give myself permission to be seen.
