life lessons

Roller Skates

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I was about twelves years old and shopping with my mom at my local K-mart when I learned the most valuable lesson she may have ever instilled in me.

For months prior to this day, I was becoming obsessed with rollerskating. Spending every Friday evening at the local rink wishing the boy I was crushed on would ask me to slow skate with him was normal. Eating lemon heads with my girlfriends and basically feeling what freedom away from your parents. I watched as some of the other girls started to show up with fancy white leather roller-skates with pink wheels. I noticed that some girls even got snazzy shoe-laces to make their cool skates look even cooler. These girls were no longer renting the smelling unisex brown and red skates that usually had a sticky wheel or some other defect. Instead they looked like movies stars skirting around the rink. In my mind I was also convinced that they got asked to skate the slow skates with cute boys because of the skates.

Shopping Day

The late afternoon day at K-mart I was eyeing the same white leather with pink stopper skates that all the popular girls where bringing to the skating rink in a cool bag. I had been wearing old metal skates around my neighborhood that you just wore with your sneakers. Lame. I wanted to glide around my neighborhood and carry them into the rink on Friday like the popular girls.

These roller skates were something I wanted so bad.

My mom found me in the aisle. I begged her with all my begging ability to buy the skates for me. They were priced at $12.97 and they had my sized fit perfectly. I was about as excited as a girl could have been.

Nope.

Her response to me asking was, “Save up your money and when you have enough, I will bring you back”.

She was not going to buy me roller-skates when I had “perfectly good ones at home that fit just fine“. She did not want to hear that other girls had them because that was the last thing she cared about (another amazing lesson). My mom was the type of mom that you did not ask twice if the answer the first time wasn’t what you wanted. You just learned to accept the answer no matter how crushed you might have been.

I was crushed.

I remember fighting back the tears and feeling so frustrated that she would not buy them for me. I was mad and jealous all at the same time. Why did I have to be the stupid paper girl tossing newspapers onto people’s porches, smelling like ink and being laughed at? Why couldn’t I just be the pretty girl that had fancy new skates with sparkly shoelaces and whatever else fad that came along?

Because my mom was teaching me the value of earning what you think you need. She was teaching me the value of waiting until you can get it yourself. She was teaching me the reward of working hard and saving up for something.

Mom was teaching me that I can provide for myself.

What a gift that was and one that has served me so well. In fact I would rather work hard, save up for something and know that I earned it, than be given something. It feels richer knowing that I made choices to get something I wanted and I certainly learned to take really good care of what I worked myself to get.

The lesson that day is one of what people call a defining moment.

I will say that walking into the skating rink the next Friday night felt pretty amazing. The skates glided and I felt so good. I would love to say the boy asked me to skate, but he didn’t. It was okay because I gained so much self-value that I didn’t need a silly boy to hold my hand to the slow songs of Lionel Richie.

From that day forward, I polished my skates off after each use and prayed that my feet didn’t grow too fast. Oh, and my mom did end up buying me the sparkly laces and even made me a pom-pom to go on top.

Word of the Year 2024 – Equanimity

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noun; evenness of mind especially under stress… a calm mental state and without hurried movement…right disposition or balance

Let’s define equanimity:

According to Merriam Dictionary, if you think “equanimity” looks like it has something to do with “equal,” you are right. Both “equanimity” and “equal” are derived from “aequus,” a Latin adjective meaning “level” or “equal.” “Equanimity” comes from the combination of “aequus” and “animus” (“soul” or “mind”) in the Latin phrase aequo animo, which means “with even mind.” English speakers began using “equanimity” early in the 17th century with the now obsolete sense “fairness or justness of judgment,” which was in keeping with the meaning of the Latin phrase. Equanimity quickly came to suggest keeping a cool head under any sort of pressure, not merely when presented with a problem, and eventually, it developed an extended sense for general balance and harmony.

I learned last year that my life needed to make a subtle shift.?I definitely do not want to lose my edge or momentum, so I knew my new word and intention for 2024 needed to be just right. I also knew I needed to find the word that captured the balance between effort and ease.?We use the term equanimity in Yoga often to describe our bodies in a posture and seeking that same balance through the physical effort and the mental fluctuations. I want that same balance, or equanimity, in all areas of my life.

Equanimity As An Intention:

Sankalpa is a Sanskrit term in yogic philosophy that refers to a heartfelt desire, a solemn vow, an intention, or a resolve to do something. It is similar to the English concept of a resolution, except that it comes from even deeper within and tends to be an affirmation.

Choosing a word or sankalpa for your year gives you direction and an internal compassion in which to lead your life. For 24 years I have chosen many different words and have taken action and it is a very important practice in my life. I have worked on some great things over that time span and all of it has lead to some greatness! A few of my recent favorites have been: refinement, deliberate, bold, reverence,and limitless. Vulnerability of 2023 did not make my favorite list. Or the year I chose peace. Sometimes we have to be ready for some big opportunities to face and practice these intentions, so I recommend choosing wisely.

I am all for creating action when it comes to intentions. It is one thing to say you’re going to be healthy and then down a couple donuts pretty regularly. Or opt to be more tolerant and continue to judge or complain about people or things you have zero control over.

In my own words and intention, or sankalpa, I feel I would like to embrace equanimity by transcending some personal biases or in my case high personal standards, self-prejudices, and self-judgments, leading to having a more inclusive and harmonious outlook on my own life. Basically cutting myself some slack and offering my sweet self some grace, especially during the challenges and bringing more balance to my life by nurturing myself and my Yin side of living. Let’s be honest, I tend to live 99.99% in the yang action side of life, which although it has served me well, I am exhausted. I also give and give and give, and while I learned a little bit how to receive, I still need to learn to give to myself without feeling guilty. I want to function in a non hurried way and soak in tiny moments of stillness to counter balance the extreme amount of constant yang/drive energy. I want know the balance between effort and ease in my day to day and lower the bar I have been reaching for.

So what does all that mean??

Words + action = intentional living. I have spent a month or more imagining what equanimity will feel like and as a result I have figured out some tangible actions that will promise to lead me towards a more balanced and grace filled life.

To cultivate an evenness in my mind, body and spirit and a calm mental state without being hurried, I am going to make some changes. I am going to live in equanimity by:

  • take one week off per quarter where I do not teach at all (first quarter is a pass since I am taking two months off post-hip replacement)
  • get on my yoga mat 3x a week (or a chair)
  • enjoy my “sacred space” / office at least 5x a week to journal, read, pull cards, and basically tune out the world and tune in to me
  • begin, enjoy, and finish a year long mindfulness daily practice book
  • say no to anyone or anything that does not support the balanced life I am committed to creating
  • let go of anyone or anything that steers me into “busy” coping strategies
  • continue with therapy and learning how to better handle the heavy weights I carry
  • give myself permission to rest, read, restore anytime
  • release the high standard I have on my physical movement
  • allow myself to splurge on things I have worked hard to afford without any reasoning or judgment

Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life.

With over sixteen years experience, Stacie Wyatt is an experienced 500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance, Certified Brain Injury Specialist, Certified Trauma Informed Coach, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor. Stacie is also certified in Integrative Movement Therapy™and is also a believer in the power and application of essential oils for health and wellness and proudly shares doTERRA essential oils.

Stacie brings her personal life experience of raising a daughter with a disability and over 12 years working in special education to her everyday Yoga classes.

Silver Linings

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We have all reflected on the last year. Some of us have grieved the loss of people, the lost opportunities to make memories, some aspects to our livelihood, and yet many of us have also found the silver linings of the last twelve months.

Up until March 2020, I had spent the previous six years working seven days a week. I was in and out of long term care centers sharing yoga with low income seniors and individuals with disabilities. I also was teaching yoga in a fancy health club as well as my own studio. I was basically living and breathing Yoga each and everyday. When I wasn’t in front of people sharing Yoga, I was peddling essential oils and helping people change their lives through health, wellness and personal empowerment. Then, I would come home and turn into the primary caregiver for my adult special needs daughter. This went on week after week. Month after month. Year after year.

On March 7th that all changed. My daughter was no longer able to attend her adult day program and every long term care center and health club closed or stopped allowing visitors.

Boom. Just like that.

Thankfully I not just have a strong Capricorn spirit but I also have no other means to survive financially. I have to hustle.

The first four months of switching all my teaching to virtual programming, I was soaking in the complete life change and loving every single day. Recording videos took about 80% less time than driving all over town and I was actually able to enjoy my days. I was home everyday and taking on all the goodness that comes with having time. True time. Before this, I was rarely home and would usually collapse in a heap at the end of the day and not really even enjoy my life. Now, I was building gardens, riding my bicycle, getting to know my neighbors and basically living. My students were more generous with donations for my videos than I could ever imagine. My income more than doubled and my personal happiness more than quadrupled. Big silver lining.

Summer came and went and even though my donations started to drop a bit, I was finding new online agencies to contract with and I was gaining a few new students for my donation videos. I tossed in some summer yoga in the park classes which brought a nice change to isolation. I was still thriving with my new found joyful living and my bursting-at-the-seams-garden was a reflection of my time to nurture things other than my teaching. Another silver lining.

During the fall season I switched gears slightly and started to offer some virtual classes in addition to the ongoing videos. I wanted to keep feeding that hunger for connection with people and reduce just looking at myself on my laptop. I was hanging in there financially and found my rhythm with teaching more, recording videos, and settling into the cooler temperatures with cooking and a slower pace. My major ankle surgery came and was a time to heal and reflect. Yep, a silver lining.

As I entered into 2021 I wanted to refine myself both personally and professionally. Refinement became my focus and that meant making some subtle, yet powerful changes to my life. Through this time I lost a couple contracts for virtual yoga and my donations had dwindled to a handful of dedicated students. And that is perfectly okay. As things began to return to normal, and zoom fatigue had taken over many people’s lives, I got it. I also understood the desire to meet with people at a studio or a gym. I also understood the initial shock to the world which brought the initial heartfelt generosity to me. For that, I am deeply grateful and is a huge silver lining.

As I move into this next quarter, I am looking deeply at all of the good that has come to me, and how I will discover my footing on solid ground for the next quarter, and beyond. I find myself asking some hard questions.

Do I want to keep recording myself teaching Yoga and Pilates and compete with the thousands and thousands of virtual Yoga teachers online? Am I fulfilled teaching this way? Am I doing my best for my students? Am I supposed to be doing this? Is there something in me searching for more? Does any of it matter?

What does this all mean for the coming months? I do not know the answer to that. For now, I plan to sit with the choices ahead of me. To have the time to do that is a definite silver lining.

Of course the biggest silver lining of this year has been accepting the unconditional love and support by people all over the country who subscribe to my videos. The bonus friendships that I have gained are priceless.

Although my life is very different, I am extremely grateful. I have had the space and time to rediscover a relationship with my daughter since her life came to a screeching halt as well. As I sit in my empty, yet very beautiful studio that overlooks my yard, I am reminded that no matter what changes were made, or what changes will be made, I am blessed with an abundance of silver linings.

Photo by Tobias Bju00f8rkli on Pexels.com

Lucky?

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Over the last few weeks, more and more people have mentioned to me that they think  I am lucky.  People have said thing like I am lucky because I have an amazing house, lucky I have my own studio, lucky I can still make a living during the COVID outbreak, lucky I have amazing sons, and lucky I am active, thin and healthy.

Lucky? How about instead I made choices.  I made really important, life-changing, courageous choices. These choices were made with the Divine guidance of Spirit consistently nudging me along. There were many times that I was not able to see the clear path, but somewhere deep inside of me, I had faith, even when I did not know it existed. When I chose to commit to becoming the best version of myself and to be of service to my family and the world, the things that might appear to others as luck, became my well-deserved life that continues to be in alignment with Spirit.

First of all, I never got a penny of alimony following my divorce and I received child support for about a year. The inheritance I got when my father died was simply $100. I paid the full listing price for the house I bought from my mom.  Nothing was handed to me. I have earned every single amazing lucky thing that I have. I chose to create this lucky life.

Here is how:

My first major choice came when I was facing a divorce with three young children, one of whom is disabled.  I chose to commit to being the best mom (and dad) I could be.  I chose to keep the stability of my home for my kids at the cost of eating way too much french toast and hamburger helper sans hamburger.  I chose to stand my ground when it came to raising them with integrity and values. No matter how strapped we were for food, I can see now that something much greater than me was operating and we were always provided for and somehow, we made it. My grown men are amazing people and luck has nothing to do with it.

The second major choice came on an early spring day.  I woke up one day knowing that I was tired of being heavy.  I was done with eating unconsciously and I was done self-loathing my size 16 body. So, I chose to get a weightloss book and take action.  I stopped the habits of mindless snacking and afternoons lazily laying on the sofa.  I even gave up ice cream and wine!  I chose to create new habits; daily walks twice a day, preparing healthy snacks, using smaller plates, putting the kid’s snacks in a high cabinet that required serious thought to scramble with a chair for a goldfish cracker, I taught them to wash their own dishes so that I no longer cleaned their plate while I loaded the dishwasher, I chewed gum while I cooked so I would not be tempted to taste-test each step.  I chose health.  I chose to love myself enough to stop unhealthy habits and instead make new habits.

The third major choice I made was on another spring day when someone recommended that I read the book Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss.  I remembered the day I was listening to her audio version while I was out for a second walk, and the moment I felt as if God was speaking directly to me, I got it.  I chose to wake up.  I chose to live in alignment with who I wanted to be.  I chose to live with the right thought, right actions, and right words. I chose to feel the indwelling Spirit as me become, and radiate, the Light I had always been, rather than hide behind the chronic complaining and blaming.  I chose to let go of anger and disappointment and welcome in forgiveness.  I chose love.

The fourth major choice I made was investing myself into radical personal development books and courses.  I immersed myself in therapy.  I gave myself the gift of learning boundaries and self-love practices.  I began taking yoga classes.  I got back on a bicycle.  I surrounded myself with people who uplifted me. I said yes to joy. I committed to a rigorous financial plan that set me on course to someday own a home, be financially self-sufficient and stable, and save each and every month. I chose to take ownership of my life.

The fifth major choice I made was to listen to the longing in my soul and share yoga and the process of waking up with anyone willing to say yes.  And, this included my heart and passion of reaching those with disabilities or other barriers to a traditional practice.  I said yes to my purpose.  I said yes to the gift Spirit chose for me to share. I chose to listen and take action.  I left a j.o.b. and I ended a relationship that gave me financially security, but left me empty and alone. I chose to be free.

You see none of what I have is luck.  None of what I have was given to me by another human.  Nobody saved me and nobody did this for me.  I did it.

I co-created through Divine Love the life I wanted and then with an open heart, I said yes!

That is a choice, not one bit of luck.

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The Gifts of the Present Moment

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Can you recall a time recently that you felt completely in the moment? Not thinking about the future, the what-if’s, the pulling away into the chasm of unknowns?

For me, it was this morning.

I have recently reconnected with an old and dear friend, my bicycle.  Since my recent years included multiple hip surgeries I have been unable to really enjoy my bike riding, and I had said a painful goodbye to her years ago. Or so I thought.

I had forgotten how bicycling for me is much different than walking in the sense of presence. The intensity that is required to ride a bike on a bumpy trail, paired with the rhythm of pedal strokes and controlled breathing I found I had the perfect combination to allow the sorrows of recent days and weeks to fade, and to be completely in the now.

This was exactly what I needed.

I discovered while in the spaciousness of being totally present the range of emotion that I have stuffed over the last couple of months.  For a strong-willed person who rarely loses control or allows emotion to take front and center, I simply said yes. I watched as tears fell from my eyes and blurred my vision of the trail, I felt the consuming love only a mom understands, and I let my heart fill with compassion and grace, that at times took the breath right from my lungs.

I stopped.  I took in what was around me.  I let it all sink in.  I welcomed and allowed the emotions that were sunk deep into the cells of my body to the surface.

I said yes. I said yes to what has been ruminating in me since late March.

Not unlike others in recent weeks, you may have heard people sharing how COVID has changed their outlook on life, even in the middle of what seems like a constant division.  Not just a division politically or socially, but sometimes a division within even the dynamics of a family or close circle of friends.  It appears that people are seeming to realize that there are priorities that need to be adjusted and that the things we may have held important need to be reevaluated. I am not any different in taking an inventory of my own life and determining what may need to change.

For me, I have honestly loved the pace of my life that COVID has offered me.  Since I have a hard time saying no to things, this has been an opportunity to have no said for me and I believe wholeheartedly that I will be able to move out of this season with a strong voice that says no to that which does not align with the vision of my life I want to create.

I have also learned to look at the reasons behind saying yes to everything, except myself.  Many of my yes’s were based on fear and some crazy need to be that person who does it all and does it all with perfection.  To the point of exhaustion.

I have enjoyed the space of my home and being deliberate with how I spend my time.  I have a schedule that I stick to and it contains many sections of time devoted to reading, resting, being in my garden, on my bike, or enjoying a french press coffee on my patio. Not racing from facility to facility, cursing at drivers who were driving too slow because I was always late, often because I kept saying yes to something else. I never seemed to have enough time, I was always late and always stressed.

I have also come to see that life isn’t all about work. In fact, I have adjusted my work so much that I don’t know that it will ever resemble what it was.  And, I am more than okay with that. I will return to the things that feed my soul, rather than drain my soul, and I won’t be working to exhaustion–ever again.  I trust that I have built a solid foundation to take my work into the platform it has been proven to be successful the last two months and continue to build from there, but with a thread of honor and deliberate action.

I learned quickly to let go of many people in my life that have an obvious view that is in direct incongruency of who I want to surround myself with. I have seen characteristics of people I would have never guessed that frankly, I don’t have any interest in being around.  Again, more choice and less yes.

I trust in this new time and I know that in the emotions there are also windows of clarity.  I also know the gifts that come in the space of presence.  I welcomed this morning’s gift and promised myself to say yes to this unprecedented time with an open heart and a new path ahead of me.

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Photosensitive Essential Oils

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When I first started using essential oils I had no idea that some oils could cause a burn. Crazy, right?

As we head into warmer months and more outside time, remember that some oils are photosensitive and cause a reaction that is uncomfortable when combined with sunlight.

Be mindful when applying the following if you plan to be in the sun. You can still use them, just apply on the feet or a covered area or take internally (I only ingest pure, certified therapeutic grade oils that I am positive have been tested).

Check out this gorgeous ebook for the basics and be sure to drop me a message if you’re not sure which oils are safe  I’m happy to help.

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The Joy

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I want to know if you can be with joy, 

mine or your own, 

if you can dance with wildness

and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your

fingers and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful, 

to be realistic, 

to remember the limitation of being human.

This week on the mat (or in the chair) we will be looking at joy and the choice we have to feel the smallest and greatest moments of joy in life without cautioning us to be realistic or careful or limited. To actually FEEL the joy that is within and who we are.  To say yes to the moments in life that bring complete joy.

Are you paying attention to joy? Tell me about a moment of joy in your life.

The moments of joy that stop you and pull you from the daily tasks that have become mundane and automatic.  Those moments that fill you with ecstasy and consume your entire being.

“…..Moments of mystical union can tempt us to spend our lives searching for those peak experiences and leave us unable or willing to receive the same joy where it is offered in the simpler experiences…” (Oriah Mountain Dreamer)

Joy finds us in the moments of elation when we feel a connection; to another, to ourselves, to the world and to the greater Mystery of life.  When we touch that part of ourselves that brings us directly into the face of our purpose.

And yet, as humans we so often deny our joy.  Our lives have so accustomed to feeling pain in the form of disappointments, resentments and past hurts.  We have lost the connection to the inner joy that is who we are. And what is our divine birthright.

For me, I want to cultivate and grow a deeper sense of joy in my life.  If it comes in the beauty of the sunrise or the sensation of another person’s touch, I don’t want to miss a second of joy.  I want to savor the moments of joy and fully embrace the pleasures of being alive.

I also know for me one source of  deep joy is found in my work.  Somehow we have been taught that to have too much of sense of greatness we will not have the concept of humility.  I disagree.  I choose to not diminish my abilities and my gifts.  I refuse to shrink back again.  I refuse to play small.

Small and joy do not coincide.

Sometimes we find that we expect too little joy in life and we settle for less.  In doing this, our soul is stifled.  Our soul becomes submerged in the litany of excuses that make up reasons as to why we can’t, or shouldn’t.

But life is so incredibly short.  And ultimately joy is a choice.

So tell me about a joy in your life.  Maybe one that came unexpectedly. A moment that you did not know was coming. The joy that caught you by surprise.

This is the work of the soul.  To find those inner caverns of ourselves and be willing to seek how we fit into the world.  It is searching to find that which we are made for and to say yes to joy.