Hip problems

From “I Can” to “I Can’t”—And Learning to Be Okay with That

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For most of my life, I have been an “I can” person. I can push through. I can figure it out. I can keep going, no matter what. That mindset carried me through challenges, fueled my passions, and shaped the way I moved through the world. But this past year—facing three hip surgeries, constant pain, and now preparing for yet another grueling surgery—has taught me a lesson I never expected: it’s okay to say “I can’t.”

At first, those words felt foreign, almost like giving up. I resisted them, believing that if I just tried harder, pushed a little more, I could still do everything I used to. But the reality of my healing journey forced me to pause.

I began to recognize that saying “I can’t” wasn’t about weakness—it was about truth.

It was about listening to my body instead of fighting against it. It was about setting boundaries, asking for help, and honoring what I needed, not just what I wanted to be able to do.

Learning to accept “I can’t” has brought an unexpected sense of peace. It has opened the door to self-compassion, allowing me to focus on what I can do in this season of life—whether that’s gentle movement, meaningful connection, or simply resting without guilt. It has shown me that strength isn’t measured by how much we push through, but by how well we adapt, accept, and allow ourselves to be human.

The Benefits of Accepting Limitations

Accepting our limitations doesn’t mean giving up—it means making space for a different kind of growth. Here are a few ways this shift has been a gift in my life:

  1. Less Pressure, More Peace – Releasing the need to always push forward has allowed me to be more present. Instead of feeling like I’m falling short, I’m learning to embrace where I am.
  2. Deeper Self-Compassion – Saying “I can’t” doesn’t mean I’m failing; it means I’m honoring my needs. This mindset shift has allowed me to treat myself with the same kindness I would offer a loved one.
  3. More Meaningful Connections – When I let go of the need to do everything on my own, I opened myself up to receiving help and support from others. That vulnerability has deepened my relationships in ways I never expected.
  4. Redefining Strength – True strength isn’t about endurance at all costs; it’s about knowing when to pause, when to ask for help, and when to let go.
  5. Finding New Possibilities – While I may not be able to do certain things the way I used to, I’ve discovered new ways to move, teach, and connect. Accepting my limitations has made room for fresh opportunities.

If you’re struggling with your own limitations—whether physical, emotional, or something else entirely—know that “I can’t” is not the end of your story. It’s an invitation to shift, to soften, and to embrace life as it is, rather than how we think it should be. And sometimes, that shift brings more healing than any amount of pushing ever could.

For me, I have even learned that saying “I can’t” to mowing the lawn or doing heavier house work has brought so much freedom into my life. I never thought I would be okay with handing over the reigns of the lawn mower to a paid yard boy but it is truly amazing!

Have you ever had to learn to be okay with saying “I can’t”? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. ?

Hip Replacement Recovery

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As I approach the one-year mark since my hip replacement surgery, I find myself reflecting on the journey.. This past year of hip replacement recovery has been a profound teacher, showing me the power of patience, resilience, and self-compassion. I’ve learned that healing isn’t linear; some days feel like giant leaps forward, while others require grace for the setbacks.

Strength doesn’t just come from physical therapy but also from the mindset we cultivate. What has been most helpful is staying consistent with gratitude, listening to my body’s cues, and surrounding myself with support—whether from professionals, loved ones, or fellow warriors on a similar path. On the other hand, what hasn’t been helpful is the pressure to “bounce back” quickly or compare my progress to others. Healing happens in its own time, and learning to honor that has been one of the greatest lessons of all.

I believe that beyond the practical advice we are given for recovering from a total hip replacement, if we learned to add mindfulness into the process we will embrace whatever comes our way. Mindful recovery means we look deeply at our thoughts, words and actions everyday.

Through reflection and mindfulness I have looked back at this year and created what I have found to be helpful and not helpful, and the lessons I have learned.

What is Helpful

I have spent the last year learning what is helpful in my recovery. In addition to a daily gratitude practice, here are my top perspective take-aways:

  • Hearing the words “I am sorry” goes a long, long way when you are in a challenging situation
  • Being asked “how can I help” feels so supportive
  • Having someone ask questions like “how are you doing emotionally” can be game changers

What is NOT Helpful

On the other side of what is helpful, I found things completely not helpful. Here is my quick list:

  • Blaming the doctor, the hospital or the patient serves no good
  • Suggesting that I sue the surgeon or the hospital is a waste of time
  • Comparing my experience with anyone else’s
  • Being exposed to negativity and toxic energy
  • Hearing “you’ll be fine” or “tomorrow will be better”

Life’s challenges often serve as our greatest teachers, offering lessons that shape our resilience, perspective, and inner strength. Difficult experiences push us beyond our comfort zones, forcing us to adapt, grow, and find meaning in hardship. While struggles can feel overwhelming in the moment, they often reveal our capacity for perseverance and self-discovery.

Through these trials, we learn the importance of patience, self-compassion, and the support of others. Every setback carries a hidden lesson, whether it’s the value of slowing down, the power of gratitude, or the realization that we are stronger than we ever imagined. In the end, challenges don’t define us—they refine us.

Lessons Learned

I was able to reflect on the last year and compile my top lessons that I have learned. Here they are:

  • Every single day you MUST find joy
  • Learning to ask for help can be the greatest gift you can give yourself
  • Accepting help from others can be good for you and others
  • Practicing the great pause

In this video I capture the details of the helpful and not helpful thoughts as well as the lessons learned. I also give the much anticipated update and next steps for my recovery. Sadly, another surgery is around the corner.

To see the entire journey, click here and you will see my entire playlist devoted to the total hip replacement journey.