awareness

Twigs and Trash

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In order to grow we must first remove what it is in the way.

For many years I have been teaching the concept that much like a garden we have outside, before we can plant anything and expect it to grow, we first have to remove all the old stuff, the trash and the things that are cluttering the soil. Today, as I was doing that exact literal thing in my backyard raking leaves and removing last years dead plants that were once so vibrant, I was reminded of the conversation I had this week with a group of men who have traumatic brain injures.

I teach this topic every March, regardless of who is in my classes because I think no matter who you are and what your life experience is, we all have something that is cluttering up our heart and therefore limiting the potential we have to grow. This might be something like fear, disappointment, regret, guilt, shame, resentment, anger or any other feeling and emotion that we have carried around for days or decades.

As I was guiding a meditation about visualizing a garden and seeing the old growth, the twigs and the trash, I asked them each to see a garden in their heart that may also have some things that could be getting in the way of growth.

I shared with my ‘frat house’ that they have fondly referred to themselves as, that I have some disappointment that is taking up space in my own heart. I carry it day after day, year after year and despite all my attempts to pull it out, it seems to have a root system that is deep and new shoots pop up and take over my heart at times.

As we had a discussion about this, they called me out on it and the wise man who developed a life changing brain tumor at age 23 gave me the best insight on how to manage all the little twigs and trash that take up space. He is turning 60 in a a few weeks and following his diagnosis while in his final year of college his life has been a series of assisted living settings and long term support. He lost his independence and so much more, and yet is so wise.

Are you ready for this? In my humbleness, I asked how does one remove all the “twigs and trash” from our hearts. I asked how do I remove the disappointment?

He shared that you can never fully rid of every twig or piece of trash that has landed in the garden, instead you have to learn to manage and grow around them.

Huh, I said.

Tell me more, I said.

He went on to say that the remnants of the the “twigs” and “trash” will likely always be there and sometimes they may stick out of the soil and poke you but our job is to plants things around them so the beauty takes over.

Again, I asked how.

The wise teacher said:

  • forgiveness
  • acceptance
  • gratitude

When we forgive ourselves and others we remove so much of the garbage that fills our heart. This removes resentment, bitterness, and what-if thinking. When we accept was IS we no longer grieve for what might have been which brings presence to growing today. And finally, when we focus on being grateful we see all that we have, not all that we do not have.

How’s that for insightful?

It’s not so much about removing the parts of our heart that impede growth, but rather moving them aside through forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude so that we make space for something far more amazing to grow.

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Simply a Reflection

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The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you.

rumi

Tell me what do you love or admire about yourself?

I asked this question in all of my adaptive and traditional Yoga classes last week as we delved into the idea of Self-Love. The answers often are so sad when it comes to my students with brain injuries. You see these people have lost what most of us value and are having to rediscover the aspects of themself that they actually like. Most have lost their livelihood, their purpose, their families, their independence, their freedom to come and go, and oso much more. When they look in the mirror they often see the challenges and the impact of the injury so finding the qualities within can usually be really challenging. I also have enjoyed asking my group of students that are all over the age of 85 and living in assisted living. I am startled that so few of them can proclaim something that they love about themselves. Perhaps it is a generational thing where they didn’t spend as much time as younger people these days who seem consumed with the Self.

The answer seem to be so hard for them to find.

I ask the question anyway and the answer is usually that they are blank on what they love about themselves.

I keep asking, though.

On one particular day in a class that included a range of ages and abilities, I asked a woman living with a brain injury who is close to my age and is often very down on herself the question. When I asked her what she liked about herself her eyes dropped down to the ground and she quietly said, “nothing”. She was hunched over with her arms on her legs looking so hopeless and sad. This woman is so kind, so willing, so sweet and is so beautiful.

I knelt down so that I was in her eye gaze and asked again. And again, I got the same response.

I knew that I was about to open a beautiful can of worms and an opportunity to teach exactly what Rumi was saying.

I turned the question around. I asked this woman what she liked about me. She looked at me and easily said, “You are brave, and strong and so beautiful”.

We smiled at each other and I looked into her eyes.

My response was this—I am simply a reflection of you. What exists in me is also in you otherwise you would not recognize it. We are indeed a mirror reflection of each other.

She sat tall and said, “really?” Yes my sweet friend, really.

I learned this concept many years ago and try to always remember it, especially when I am with someone who feels that they are not enough or someone who struggles with identifying what makes them special. I ask them to think about someone they admire and what qualities do they see in them that they like? It is those qualities that also exist in ourselves.

Consider that. What you see in others exists in you. Kindness, integrity, compassion, love, bravery, beauty, honesty, humor, etc. If it was not part of you and familiar, you would not recognize it.

The tricky and often sticky part about this is that when we also see a quality within others that we find less appealing, it is because that too is familiar in us. When this happens to me I say, “ahhhhhh yes, there you are to remind me what I am here to work on”.

When we stumble through those ordinary days of self doubt and wondering what is really good about ourselves this can be an amazing concept to return to. When we feel burdened by life’s hardness and separate from the ideals in which the world has attempted to create, and we feel so less than, simply look into the eyes of someone you admire and know that the only way you can see those qualities is because they also exist in you.

It is familiar. It is a mirror reflection of yourself.

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Gratitude = Joy

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It’s not joy that makes us grateful, it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.

Brené Brown

Think about that. So often we misunderstand that if we had all the things and our life is packed with goodness, we would then be grateful.

Actually it is not that way.

I have read and even taken a course with Brené Brown and yet I still continue to learn and soak in more every time I hear her speak.

Last night I was watching a talk she gave to teachers and other leaders. She was describing what happens when we think that we cannot be happy with what we have and we are constantly seeking joy through external things. We have all heard “when I take that vacation” or “if I could have that ____”, then my life would be good. This is called scarcity thinking. Scarcity thinking is when we think what we have is not enough or what we have will be taken from us.

Huh.

Years ago I had that mindset. Thankfully through the work I’ve done I no longer have that reaching for something. If a moment sneaks up on me and I do start to feel that what I have isn’t enough, I just have to go to my office and grab one of EIGHTEEN years worth of gratitude journals to see that my life is really quite full.

For some a gratitude journal feels daunting. That’s okay.

There are countless ways to cultivate a genuine gratitude practice. Here are some great ideas:

  • pause before eating to recognize all that took place to bring you that plate of food
  • step outside and look at the sky and just breathe for two to three minutes
  • look at a stranger through the eyes of peace
  • say thank you throughout the day as doors get opened, people say hello, words are exchanged
  • smile more
  • before you begin your busy day sit for five minutes and gaze around your space and not see the tasks undone, but see instead your roof, your furniture, your safety
  • exchange gratitudes of the day with your family or friends before eating

Research shows that with a genuine gratitude practice, we can shift from scarcity thinking to joy. Imagine your life shifting from disappointment to deep appreciation. Think about how your relationships and business could flourish with an attitude of enough.

More than enough.

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The Way

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As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.

Rumi

Over the years I have shared my story and the path that has lead me to who I am and what I do as my purpose in the world. We all have a story that has put us on the path, or maybe you’re still seeking the path?

Here is what I know and believe wholeheartedly—the path is there, we choose to take the steps or turn away.

The way is right there. We know it in our gut, and yet like myself for many years we deny the way. We look elsewhere for love, joy, purpose, and contentment but when we take that first committed step on the path that is appearing, and despite the fear and unknown, we keep going and sure enough in time that path becomes the way.

I’m forever grateful for the hard years of my life because it led me here. I am here. I am on my way. I am.

If you’re feeling lost and without purpose or love I encourage you to stop. Close your eyes. Breathe. Listen.

You already know.

Take that first step. Open up to your life and your happiness and your purpose. It’s yours. Own it.

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And So It Is

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Dear life,

Grant me the courage
To change what I am capable of changing
And the grace
To accept what is beyond my control
And choose my battles wisely.

Please help me to fix what has fallen apart and is broken in my life
That would benefit from being mended
And accept what would not
And move on accordingly.

Grant me the strength
To fully seize each day
And make the most of each moment
Savouring the ones that provide me with joy, meaning and fulfilment

And remind me to treasure time spent with those I love
And pursue my passions and what uplifts and energises me
And focus on all that lies ahead of me
Rather than all that lies behind me.

Please help me to embody love
And radiate it to all whom I encounter
Regardless of whether they remain in my life
Or are no longer with me.

Please help me to remain calm and at peace
During the chaos and shifting seasons of life
And flow with it
Understanding that everything is fleeting and temporary
But that the true nature of who I am is eternal
And more than this limited body
And transitory physical experience

Please show me how to let go of fear, pain and resentment
So I can feel light, unburdened and free
And prioritise what is important
While disregarding what is not.

Please comfort me in my grief
And reassure me with the knowledge
That I will one day be reunited with those I love who have left this reality
But remain in spirit with me

And in the times when I am hurt
May you show me how to heal and move forward

In the times when I feel small and fragile
May you remind me of my inner strength

In the times when I feel weak
May you remind me of my inner power

In the times when I feel lost
May you help me rediscover purpose and meaning

In the times when I feel lonely and isolated
May you remind me that everything is interconnected

And in the times when I have lost confidence and trust in myself
May you help me remember who I am.

Words by Tahlia Hunter

(Inspired by the Serenity Prayer by Dr Reinhold Niebuhr)

Artwork by Elaine Bayley Illustrations

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Competition

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I recently shared my strengths according to Gallup Strengths Finder and am still digging into that theme a bit. I loved learning my too strengths, but I was also fascinated to learn my bottom ones also. Competition is the second to the bottom strength! This means competition is pretty irrelevant to me and my life.

Competition is very low in my skill set personally and professionally. That is not a good thing or a bad thing, it just reinforces my top strengths. I highly recommend taking the strengths finder test if your curious how it impacts your personal and business life.

I did some digging on competition and found some fascinating thing. Harvard business review says this about competition-

While it can sometimes be productive, too often it is actually destructive to your overall goals. That’s why people who don’t have as much of a heart to compete have advantages in life and the opportunity to be more successful.

Non competing individuals are more motivated than most of the people around them.

Here is why:

•They aren’t as ego-driven.
People who compete often do so in large part to satisfy their egos. If you don’t have the heart to compete, then most likely you don’t have a big ego.

•They’re less stressed.
Competition in life adds a lot of unneeded frustration. If you’re not obsessed with competing, you’re largely free of that stress. That frustration is an almost overwhelmingly negative influence on your sense of self.

•They’re calmer.
A sense of calm comes over those who don’t endlessly think about how they’re going to get ahead in races of all kinds.

•They wish success on others.
The person who doesn’t obsess about competition often wants others to find success as well as themselves. What’s so great about that is how success begets success.

•They believe success can be shared.
Competitions are almost always win-lose situations. People who don’t want competition in their lives tend to believe in win-win scenarios. Instead of looking for ways they can outsmart their opponent, they search for methods to team up with them and overcome whatever obstacle that they face together instead of apart. By doing that, they double the chance for success.

•They have inner peace.
Obsession is unhealthy, whereas peace is just around the corner once you remove competition from the equation. By focusing on improving yourself instead of beating others, you are well on your way to the inner peace everyone craves, even if some of them don’t know it.

I’m telling you, learning about your strengths can lead to so much understanding in your relationships and professional life. I am so grateful I know these things about myself because I am able to see that I am unique and while others around me may be fed by competition I don’t have to try to fit in. I can be me and I can support them as they are then. Cool, huh?

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Release

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It is crazy to think that we truly are in the final months of the year. While it is a time for celebrations, gatherings and gift-giving it is also a time to complete the inward cycle. With winter solstice coming this month it is a time when we complete our inward look, release what no longer serves us, and step back into the light. It is when we begins to emerge from our inner landscape to reveal a fresh, new season of growth. Crazy to think that winter is a time for that but in the solstice world after the beautiful pause and standing still of winter solstice where everything stops, the days begin to get longer as light returns.

I have used this blend for many years during this month as I am intentional about releasing the years baggage that holds me back; fears, worthiness, vulnerabilities and more. I use this blend before meditation and before sleep to facilitate a letting go so that when the month is over, I am a clean slate ready to walk into a new year.

Read on as to why I chose these oils and crystals-

Thyme —empties the soul of negativity, leaves the heart open wide. This oil helps with emotional release.

Lemongrass is the oil of cleansing. It helps us let go of toxic energy and negativity. It helps release limiting beliefs. It allows us to move past old trauma and to gain clarity to move forward.

Cypress is the oil of motion. Ever feel stuck? Cypress will help you let go of worry and the need for control, and help you have trust in the flow of life. It will help with getting unstuck and moving forward.

Peppermint is the oil of a buoyant heart. It is a very invigorating oil to both mind and body. It is an encouraging oil that helps us rediscover the joy of life and being alive!

Basil essential oil is helpful in dealing with feelings of anxiety, panic, or apprehension, and has been said to be the oil of “renewal”, both emotionally and spiritually. It provides strength and tranquility to the heart and mind, making it perfect for overwhelm, stress, fatigue, and may even assist a person in their efforts to overcome addiction–which makes it a great choice for overcoming ruminating thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviors that often result from toxic relationships

Cedarwood oil is a great oil for times of crisis or sudden change, such as when there is an adjustment in households, jobs, and/or relationships. These events often lead to feeling isolated or knocked off balance. Cedarwood provides feelings of stability and grounding when external circumstances threaten your feelings of stability. It also helps lessen fears that deter your ability to realize your potential.

Bergamot helps us transfer love back to ourselves. We can be so fixated on wanting other people to make us happy that we forget we can do that for ourselves. Bergamot is uplifting, has natural anti-depressant properties, and helps us to relax and regain self-confidence again. Bergamot oil helps us in the areas of self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance, self-judgment, and self-loathing. It instills validation within, allowing us to accept our own authenticity, and not spend so much time worrying about the opinions of others.

Frankincense In addition to alleviating and eliminating depression, Frankincense is known as the “Oil of Truth”, revealing deceptiveness and false truths. It invites the individual to let go of lower vibrations, insults, and negativity. This oil helps create new perspectives based on integrity and enlightenment. Frankincense is also is a powerful cleanser of the spirit. It assists in removing malevolent energies attached to a person, allowing them to open to enlightenment. It addresses the emotions of abandonment and spiritual disconnectedness and releases them.

Lemon In addition to its bright aroma, lemon is also a great cleanser and purifier. This is a perfect choice to bring clarity, focus and brightness to the end of the year.

Smokey Quartz–The Smoky Quartz crystal is a grounding stone known for its ability to help you move on from difficult or painful experiences. It guides you to a higher state of being, a place where you can let go of the past and welcome in the future.

Not only does it smell heavenly it is powerful in it ability to shift emotions. Ready to try it?

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DIY Lotion Bars

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Seriously? Lotion in a bar form? YES! These glide over your skin making your body feel (and smell) amazing. Using all natural ingredients you eliminate toxic junk from going into your body. Remember our skin absorbs EVERYTHING you put on it so those store bought bottles lotion contain lots of stuff that can be harmful over time for our bodies.

Making these is quick, easy AND fun. Plus, they make awesome gifts!

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup beeswax
  • ½ cup coconut oil
  • ½ cup cocoa butter
  • 1 teaspoon vitamin E oil
  • 15 drops of doTERRA essential oil

Recommended essential oils: my favorites are Citrus Bliss, Peppermint, Lavender.

Directions:

  • Measure all ingredients, except for essential oils, in large glass jar.
  • Place jar in saucepan with one to one and a half inches of boiling water.
  • Stir ingredients until combined.
  • Once melted, remove from heat. Let rest three minutes.
  • Add essential oils and stir or swirl jar.
  • Pour mixture into silicone mold.
  • Massage lotion bar on skin for moisture.
  • Wrap in a fun paper and tie with twine for a cute gift.

These are so fun! You can find the molds in my Amazon shop listed below and if you check out this handy ebook you can learn more about essential oils and how you can get the most pure and potent in your home.

Gratitude Diffuser Blend

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Gratitude is the #1 way to shift out of low frequency emotions like fear, grief, shame and lack… and into high frequency emotions like joy, peace, trust and love. Gratitude produces dopamine! Dopamine is our brain’s pleasure chemical. The more we think positive, grateful thoughts, the healthier and happier we feel. Amazing, eh?

What if you started saying 5 DIFFERENT things you’re grateful for every single day. Try it! it has changed my life!

Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.

I hope you enjoy this diffuser blend today and I invite each of you to pause for a moment, and recognize all that is GOOD!

Gratitude Essential Oil Blend

• Siberian fir; breaking negative emotional and spiritual patterns

• Frankincense; raise awareness, shine your bright light

• Grapefruit; appreciate who you are

• Wild Orange; abundance and bright future, gladness to the heart

• Geranium; heart opening, realize security in what you do have

• Clove; instills power, sense of protection, integrity

Amber chips—A fossilized tree resin, amber radiates laughter, vitality, and courage. This stone holds the protective energy of our beloved trees, the guardians of Earth. Radiating the golden ray, amber shines light on new paths as obstacles become the stepping stones of growth. Amplifying one’s life force and physical drive to fulfill one’s destiny of simply being human. Amber is a powerful healer and cleanser of the body, mind and spirit. It also cleanses the environment. Amber draws disease from the body, healing and renewing the nervous system and balancing the right and left parts of the brain. It absorbs pain and negative energy, helping to alleviate stress. Amber clears depression, stimulates the intellect and promotes self-confidence and creative self-expression. It encourages decision-making, spontaneity and brings wisdom, balance and patience.

This blend is also available to purchase!

Circadian Rhythm

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Have you ever heard of the circadian rhythm?

The circadian rhythm, also known as your internal body clock, is responsible for making you feel alert and sleepy throughout the day. Ideally, you should feel most alert early in the morning and sleepy as it becomes darker and later in the day.

The circadian rhythm is the reason why teenagers find it difficult to go to bed and wake up early, because their melatonin is released later than adults and children, so they’re awake later. Jet lag and shift work also interfere with the natural body clock as well as long and irregular hours.

Get ready to hack your circadian rhythm for sleep:

•Go to bed and get up at the same time every day and diffuse trees and flowers
• When you wake up, take a morning walk and get some sunlight on your face
• Try a sunlight alarm clock that wakes you up with light
• Pop citrus and mint oils in your diffuser to start waking up your senses

Price Per Drop

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The number one reason people give for not using essential oils is because they are expensive. Here is the deal—a drop is a considered a “dose”. A typical bottle has 250 drops (doses).

Lavender—9 cents to sleep well for over half a year….plus amazing skin benefits for burns or cuts. Oh, and anxious feelings—a drop.

Melaleuca—8 cents a drop will give you amazing skin cleansing, germ removal and if you put a few more drops into a spray bottle with water you just made an awesome household cleaner.

Peppermint—9 cents a drop and you can ditch the Tylenol for your headaches and fevers. One drop equals 28 cups of peppermint tea. You’ll be getting digestive support for a long time with this one.

Lemon—4 cents. Yep, 4 cents to detox your body, clean you house, brighten your mood and just basically feel amazing.

Breathe—8 cents a drop to breathe easier going into the winter season. Congestion and coughs will be much easier for 8 cents a drop. You know that Vick’s stuff is full of yucky chemicals right?

Drop=dose. It literally costs you pennies.The initial investment is so worth it.

This is my absolute favorite starter kit. There are others to choose from though!!

Plus until the end of the month, I am tossing in a bonus oil, plus my usual amazing welcome package! Yay! Let’s do this!

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True Measurement

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Over the course of the last eighteen years I have gone from being roughly 100 pounds heavier and oblivious of my health to obsessing on every calorie and every step.

And I mean every calorie and every step.

Both extremes were missing a huge and important aspect of health—joy and contentment.

When I was heavy I was so toxic in my mind, body and sprit that I spent my day just surviving. In that season of my life I was a really young mom, one kiddo with a significant and challenging disability, a marriage that was empty and I was consumed with giving to my family, not myself. I had no concept of balance.

When I was exercise and food obsessed I was equally toxic. I would log every crumb that passed my lips and I walked around my living room late at night countless times to reach my step goal. I overdid my body to the point of big time injuries and I completely lost joy in eating delicious foods and the nature around me while exercising.

Again, no joy, no contentment and no balance.

Now, I am free. I measure my happiness not by the size of my pants or the number on the scale. And I am working hard to not measure it by the steps on my watch—this is still a struggle for me.

I am working to measure it with the internal state of bliss I feel most days and by the purpose that I have discovered and the light that I share.

That is contentment and wellness of the mind, body and spirit.

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