Inspiration

Competition

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I recently shared my strengths according to Gallup Strengths Finder and am still digging into that theme a bit. I loved learning my too strengths, but I was also fascinated to learn my bottom ones also. Competition is the second to the bottom strength! This means competition is pretty irrelevant to me and my life.

Competition is very low in my skill set personally and professionally. That is not a good thing or a bad thing, it just reinforces my top strengths. I highly recommend taking the strengths finder test if your curious how it impacts your personal and business life.

I did some digging on competition and found some fascinating thing. Harvard business review says this about competition-

While it can sometimes be productive, too often it is actually destructive to your overall goals. That’s why people who don’t have as much of a heart to compete have advantages in life and the opportunity to be more successful.

Non competing individuals are more motivated than most of the people around them.

Here is why:

•They aren’t as ego-driven.
People who compete often do so in large part to satisfy their egos. If you don’t have the heart to compete, then most likely you don’t have a big ego.

•They’re less stressed.
Competition in life adds a lot of unneeded frustration. If you’re not obsessed with competing, you’re largely free of that stress. That frustration is an almost overwhelmingly negative influence on your sense of self.

•They’re calmer.
A sense of calm comes over those who don’t endlessly think about how they’re going to get ahead in races of all kinds.

•They wish success on others.
The person who doesn’t obsess about competition often wants others to find success as well as themselves. What’s so great about that is how success begets success.

•They believe success can be shared.
Competitions are almost always win-lose situations. People who don’t want competition in their lives tend to believe in win-win scenarios. Instead of looking for ways they can outsmart their opponent, they search for methods to team up with them and overcome whatever obstacle that they face together instead of apart. By doing that, they double the chance for success.

•They have inner peace.
Obsession is unhealthy, whereas peace is just around the corner once you remove competition from the equation. By focusing on improving yourself instead of beating others, you are well on your way to the inner peace everyone craves, even if some of them don’t know it.

I’m telling you, learning about your strengths can lead to so much understanding in your relationships and professional life. I am so grateful I know these things about myself because I am able to see that I am unique and while others around me may be fed by competition I don’t have to try to fit in. I can be me and I can support them as they are then. Cool, huh?

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Release

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It is crazy to think that we truly are in the final months of the year. While it is a time for celebrations, gatherings and gift-giving it is also a time to complete the inward cycle. With winter solstice coming this month it is a time when we complete our inward look, release what no longer serves us, and step back into the light. It is when we begins to emerge from our inner landscape to reveal a fresh, new season of growth. Crazy to think that winter is a time for that but in the solstice world after the beautiful pause and standing still of winter solstice where everything stops, the days begin to get longer as light returns.

I have used this blend for many years during this month as I am intentional about releasing the years baggage that holds me back; fears, worthiness, vulnerabilities and more. I use this blend before meditation and before sleep to facilitate a letting go so that when the month is over, I am a clean slate ready to walk into a new year.

Read on as to why I chose these oils and crystals-

Thyme —empties the soul of negativity, leaves the heart open wide. This oil helps with emotional release.

Lemongrass is the oil of cleansing. It helps us let go of toxic energy and negativity. It helps release limiting beliefs. It allows us to move past old trauma and to gain clarity to move forward.

Cypress is the oil of motion. Ever feel stuck? Cypress will help you let go of worry and the need for control, and help you have trust in the flow of life. It will help with getting unstuck and moving forward.

Peppermint is the oil of a buoyant heart. It is a very invigorating oil to both mind and body. It is an encouraging oil that helps us rediscover the joy of life and being alive!

Basil essential oil is helpful in dealing with feelings of anxiety, panic, or apprehension, and has been said to be the oil of “renewal”, both emotionally and spiritually. It provides strength and tranquility to the heart and mind, making it perfect for overwhelm, stress, fatigue, and may even assist a person in their efforts to overcome addiction–which makes it a great choice for overcoming ruminating thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviors that often result from toxic relationships

Cedarwood oil is a great oil for times of crisis or sudden change, such as when there is an adjustment in households, jobs, and/or relationships. These events often lead to feeling isolated or knocked off balance. Cedarwood provides feelings of stability and grounding when external circumstances threaten your feelings of stability. It also helps lessen fears that deter your ability to realize your potential.

Bergamot helps us transfer love back to ourselves. We can be so fixated on wanting other people to make us happy that we forget we can do that for ourselves. Bergamot is uplifting, has natural anti-depressant properties, and helps us to relax and regain self-confidence again. Bergamot oil helps us in the areas of self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance, self-judgment, and self-loathing. It instills validation within, allowing us to accept our own authenticity, and not spend so much time worrying about the opinions of others.

Frankincense In addition to alleviating and eliminating depression, Frankincense is known as the “Oil of Truth”, revealing deceptiveness and false truths. It invites the individual to let go of lower vibrations, insults, and negativity. This oil helps create new perspectives based on integrity and enlightenment. Frankincense is also is a powerful cleanser of the spirit. It assists in removing malevolent energies attached to a person, allowing them to open to enlightenment. It addresses the emotions of abandonment and spiritual disconnectedness and releases them.

Lemon In addition to its bright aroma, lemon is also a great cleanser and purifier. This is a perfect choice to bring clarity, focus and brightness to the end of the year.

Smokey Quartz–The Smoky Quartz crystal is a grounding stone known for its ability to help you move on from difficult or painful experiences. It guides you to a higher state of being, a place where you can let go of the past and welcome in the future.

Not only does it smell heavenly it is powerful in it ability to shift emotions. Ready to try it?

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Let’s Get Personal

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I realized once again today that in this great cyber world it’s hard to really know someone. We see their passions, perhaps perfectly curated food or vacation photos, and we see snippets of the person that they are, but can we really know someone and their quirks through an online platform?

Clearly, I love yoga, natural options like essential oils, inspirational events and situations, brain injuries and much more.

Let’s get a little bit personal for a bit.


I have a love affair with smashed-nosed dogs (pugs, Boston’s, bulldogs, boxers). I can’t help myself.

It hurts my heart to see others not valued for who they are, especially those with disabilities.

My favorite color is any shade of orange, I’ve even had an orange car! (I had a VW beetle with three little kids—what was I thinking?)

I collect crystals and if you came to my house, you’d find them everywhere (even in most of the window sills). My sweet little granddaughter Carrie’s her own all around and it warms my heart.

I can’t stand unloading the dishwasher but I love cleaning the kitchen floor.

Walking is how I manage pain, stress and general life stuff. I average around 23,000 steps a day.

I technically have four paid jobs that I juggle each day (I teach yoga and adaptive yoga, I teach wellness and essential oil education, I am a provider for my daughter with special needs, I take care of my mom’s billing business, and I am always a mom to my girl. And, I am the best unpaid MayMay to some sweet littles!

Being outside is imperative to my health. I walk outside 99.9% of the days. I can’t do frigid wind chill, but I am up for bundling up any time to walk. It’s where I connect. Nature feeds me and it’s also where I have learned to listen.

About 18 years ago I decided that I was so done being overweight so I changed my habits, starting walking and eating better, healed my inner world and lost all the weight. At one point I weighed 100 pounds more than I do now.

I believe we are all here to make the world better and kinder. So simple.

I also love teaching others to find their values and principles to navigating life. When I am living in these values I am aligned and in the flow. When I venture away from these I find myself lost and struggling.

Here are my top ten values:

1. Faith (in my purpose, in other people, in life)
2. Service (to do something without personal gain)
3. Kindness (simple…just be kind)
4. Acceptance (for everything)
5. Diligence (don’t half ass things or put things off)
6. Action (this is always necessary for success)
7. Awareness (be awake to life’s simplest things)
8. Belief (a deep knowing which is empowering)
9. Fulfillment (each choice is to support the good)
10. Love (act in alignment with my heart)

I also love learning about my strengths so that I can be my best. Have you taken the Clifton Strength Finder test?

Here are my top 5 strengths and how they show up in my life! I found it FASCINATING and can see how they all have influenced my business and personal decisions.

  1. Belief—I have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values my life purpose has emerged. I can see now how this #1 also played a negative role in my marriage. I was unable to bend when I needed to and see someone else’s perspective. My work HAS to be meaningful or I either.
  2. Responsibility—If I say I am going to do something, I will do it. I am commuted to values like honesty and loyalty. Sometimes this strength gets in the way of my ability to relax because I feel so much responsibility for getting things accomplished.
  3. Connectedness—I have faith in the connectedness of all things. I am able to link people and lessons and experiences and outcomes. I am not a big believer in coincidence as I believe everything that happens has a reason. This has served me well in my own personal struggles as well as my business.
  4. Discipline — I enjoy order and thrive when things are such. I love routine and predictability. When my kids were little I even color coded legos…a tad extreme I get it, but I thrive when things are in order. I also am very disciplined with my body and workouts. I hold myself to a super high standard of keeping my word to myself. Uummm, see responsibility above.
  5. Focus— They say people with this strength can take directions, take action and follow through. I definitely thrive when I have accomplished what I set out to do. In fact, prioritizing what needs to be done and doing it first has been a stickler in many of my relationships where someone else may prefer to play first then check off the list.

Crazy how they are all interwoven for me! My main domain is in the executing realm so basically I get stuff done and believe strongly in living that way. Can you see how that May negatively influence a relationship? Over the years I have learned to channel these more into the business world and I am able to deliver my beliefs in a softer more palatable way for others.

Wanna know my bottom two? Individualization which basically means that I am unable to pick our unique things about people because I believe so strongly in we are all equal. There is that belief thing again. The next to bottom strength is competition. It means nothing to me. I could literally care less if I am first or better.

I think it is so cool to sit with yourself and learn about YOU. For decades I didn’t like who I was so even the willingness to look inward was terrifying. No more!

Now, it’s YOUR turn!

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Someone’s Survival Guide

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I am a super private person and unless you know me really well or catch the occasional revealing posts about my private life, you may not know the whole story.

I am not one to carry on about the past much because I believe what happened is what happened and by perhaps looking through a different lens, I have learned to see the gifts and lessons learned.

Yesterday I had an opportunity to have a very honest and real conversation with a girl I met a few years ago that is entering into a season of her life that includes being a single mom, wondering how she will work, feed her kids and fulfill her deep calling to do what her heart and soul is calling her to do.

I was there.

Eating cheap food to survive, scrambling for a job, yearning for something more and doing the best I knew how with my kids.

I failed a bunch but I also succeeded way more. I evolved into this. I overcame the you obstacles of single parenting and finding myself through the process.

My hope is that I gave this young girl a sense that she WILL be okay and that she WILL find her way and that she WILL succeed in her wildest dreams. She is certainly deserving of it and skilled in many ways.

It felt kinda strange to share my story and see the other side of what overcoming struggles can possibly do for someone just entering that sisterhood.

You just never know how your challenges can help someone else in a time of need.

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True Measurement

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Over the course of the last eighteen years I have gone from being roughly 100 pounds heavier and oblivious of my health to obsessing on every calorie and every step.

And I mean every calorie and every step.

Both extremes were missing a huge and important aspect of health—joy and contentment.

When I was heavy I was so toxic in my mind, body and sprit that I spent my day just surviving. In that season of my life I was a really young mom, one kiddo with a significant and challenging disability, a marriage that was empty and I was consumed with giving to my family, not myself. I had no concept of balance.

When I was exercise and food obsessed I was equally toxic. I would log every crumb that passed my lips and I walked around my living room late at night countless times to reach my step goal. I overdid my body to the point of big time injuries and I completely lost joy in eating delicious foods and the nature around me while exercising.

Again, no joy, no contentment and no balance.

Now, I am free. I measure my happiness not by the size of my pants or the number on the scale. And I am working hard to not measure it by the steps on my watch—this is still a struggle for me.

I am working to measure it with the internal state of bliss I feel most days and by the purpose that I have discovered and the light that I share.

That is contentment and wellness of the mind, body and spirit.

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Belonging

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I was sipping my coffee this morning while reading Atlas of the Heart written by Brene Brown and was captured by this quote.

When I ventured out into the yoga world as a teacher I spent a few years trying to “fit in” to the culture of what I thought a yoga teacher was. I played the role and yet it never felt authentic.

As I gained confidence in myself and began to return home to my heart and found the deepest values that I hold dear to myself as a human, I stepped into my authentic self and realized belonging begins with me. I no longer strive to “fit in” or become someone I am not.

Instead, I am me. And I am outspoken and an advocate for others and I teach yoga from my heart, not from a book or a culture that promotes “perfection”.

I sat with a student yesterday who desperately wants to return home to her daughter but has no direction or plan to get there. She struggles with daily independent living and needs support to do the little things most of us overlook. The desperation in her eyes to find her purpose, to work and feel valued, and ultimately return to being a mom shook me. As I listened and reminded her that she has human rights to become her dreams and ambitions I realized that there I was living in my values. I was showing her what belonging means and in no way was I worried about what yoga is “supposed” to be.

Our yoga was pure union. Her and I were in union. I was in union with myself. And she was demonstrating grit in wanting to find her wholeness again and to find that belonging within herself.

That was my spiritual practice of belonging.

Easy Baked Apples

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This is everything that is fall! Warmth, coziness, spices and everything apple.

This super simple recipe can be done in an air fryer or a traditional oven — the oven is my personal favorite because the entire house smells like all the amazing fall smells we all love.

Here is what you’ll need:

  • 2 medium size apples
  • 1/2 cup oats
  • 1/4 cup pecans
  • 2 tablespoons melted coconut oil
  • 2 tablespoons coconut sugar
  • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 3 drops cinnamon bark essential oil

Here is how you’ll make them:

  1. Combine all the filling ingredients in a bowl
  2. Slice apples in half and core
  3. Sprinkle ground cinnamon on apple halves
  4. Evenly divided the filling between the four apple halves
  5. Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes or air then at 350 for 13-15 minutes
  6. Top with extra cinnamon and drizzled honey for an added punch

Remember to only use essential oils that are certified pure. One way to tell if they are pure is your bottle will have a supplement facts on the side. If it doesn’t, I wouldn’t recommend taking internally because it is likely not pure and therefore not safe.

Curious the brand I love and trust along with hospitals across the country? Plus they are making a global impact on reducing poverty and building lives for villages and farmers.

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The Honeysuckle

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This little lady gave me quite a smile this morning when I sat out on my back porch for coffee. The color! This beautiful honeysuckle was a last minute purchase about a month ago since the gardening season is just about over here in Colorado. When I walk between classes near one of the group homes I teach at there is a house with a few growing along the fence and I decided I needed one. ?

I didn’t realize that honeysuckles can be so pink in color—I have only seen yellow or orange ones, and I didn’t know they would keep blooming past springtime.

I did some digging and this is what I found out about them—

The honeysuckle is a symbol of pure happiness. In addition, it conveys messages of sweetness and affection, thanks to the sweet smelling aroma it gives off. At its heaviest interpretation, the honeysuckle represents the flames of love, and the tenderness for love that has been lost. The honeysuckle will literally cling to whatever it is growing next to, resembling a lover’s embrace, and therefore giving the appropriate symbolism.

Honeysuckle can be used for abundance, learning, concentration, affection, protection, devoted love, wishes, wealth, intuition, clarity, clairvoyance, fidelity, attraction, divination, physical ability, prosperity, secrets, calm, change, confidence, creativity, the mind, peace, generosity, destiny, breaking hexes, honesty, inspiration, and balance.

I’ll take it! What a sweet surprise!

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The Dandelion

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“Hello, I’m a dandelion.
A lot of people call me a weed but I’m a friend and come to help you!

When you see me, remember that I’m the ONLY one who wants and can grow in that particular spot. Because:

Either the soil is too compact / hard / stomped and I want to loosen it for you with my roots.

Or there is too little calcium in the soil – don’t worry, I will replenish that for you with the dying of my leaves.

Or the soil is too acidic. But I will also improve that for you if you give me the chance.
Or a mixture of the above reasons, of course. ?

I’m here because your soil needs my help so best you let me grow without disturbing me! When everything is fixed, I will disappear again, I promise!

Are you trying to remove me prematurely with my root? However meticulous you are, I will return 2x as strong! Just until your soil is improved.

You can even tell by my growth at which stage my help is at. If my leaves are flat on the ground then I’m far from ready but if they all reach up then I’m already a long way on my way.

Something completely different is that I am 1 of the first bloomers in spring so I will announce spring / summer for you.

During the day when it’s hot, I open my flowers but in the evening when it cools off I close them again quickly. In fact, if it’s not hot enough during the day I won’t open them at all!

My flowers are the first food for insects after hibernation and unlike most other plants, I have pollen AND nectar, not merely one OR the other! And I am generous with them! ?

My flowers are even delicious for you people by the way, did you know? I used to be called ??honey (or gold) of the poor?? because my flowers are so sweet in e.g. jam, sauce or salad! The internet is full of recipes – check them out.

But wait until the end of May or later before you start picking and even then, don’t pick everything yet! The biodiversity and bees will be very grateful!”

Text By Paula Kok – De Boer
Illustration By Juliste Cavallini

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Searching Among the Branches

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Do you know the most important part of a house? What about a tree?

Is it the big windows and fancy backyard? Is it the glorious leaves and fruit? Or is it the foundation and the roots?

What’s the most important part of YOU? I believe it isn’t the material gains, titles, how much you weigh, how fast you can run, the size of you bank account, the size of your home, how much weight you can lift, your boundaries or how smart your kids are.

What is it then?

It’s the depth of WHO you are and how you show up in the world. It’s your values that lead you down the path. It’s the beliefs you hold most dear to yourself. It’s the way you treat yourself and others.

Not sure what values make up your foundation or your roots? If you don’t know yourself that well, it’s likely your behaviors and choices aren’t aligning with your best self and you’re often struggling in relationships and in life. A few years ago I wrote my ten principles that guide my decisions. These values make up my tree roots that sustain me during trying times.

Truth.

Thanks for reading my #tedtalk of the day and reach out if your life can’t seem to withstand the storms. It’s likely you have a rotten root or a weak foundation wall.

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Living My Manifesto

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It seems many people have opinions on other peoples business model, and the two most common statements I get as it relates to my yoga business is 1) I’d never drive that far for a class or student, and 2) I would never teach a class for that little of a rate (usually followed by a laundry list of all the trainings and education they have).

Here’s the thing. I’m not in it for the money, but the money is always there. I’m not in it for the fame although I am booked solid week after week and literally have no room in my schedule for more. I’m not in it for the ego, yet I know that I make an incredible difference in the lives of many.

Why do I drive hundreds of miles a day only to find my student still in bed because staff didn’t bother to wake him up? Because I said I would and because when he did decide to get up, together we created a beautiful session that included him doing something he hasn’t done in decades. This incredibly special student was injured at age 25 and his college roommate continues to write him a letter every single week and they are now in their mid 50’s. My student actually wrote him a letter back! Remember, yoga is defined as union and it doesn’t have to include pretzel shapes with our bodies.

I do it because it is service—which to me is defined as doing something without an attachment to personal gain. I do it because it is my gift. It is purpose. I do it because this is the manifesto my business and life is structured around.

The minute I start calculating how much money I am going to make, I have stepped out of service.

And do you want to know what? The money is always there.

I’d much rather show up within the foundation of my manifesto than seek out fame and fortune. That isn’t what I am about. I am about service and becoming the best version of myself through those I humbly serve.

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Grounded Foundation

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It is not the beauty of a building you should look at; it’s the construction of the foundation that will stand the test of time. ~ David Allen Coe

This time of year is ideal for getting back into ourselves after a summer season of play, vacations, kids home, and way less structure. This is the time where we reclaim our sense of self and rediscover the aspects of ourselves that support us in our everyday life.

You may know if you stop here often that I believe in the power of aroma to shift our chemical response in our brain. We can influence our state of arousal and our emotional state simply by smelling something. How cool is that?

As you experience a more predictable schedule and life begins to resume some sort of normalcy, take a few minutes to consider the four walls, or four main roots of a tree, that represent your foundation. This is the scaffolding which supports all the other parts of our home, or tree, during times of turbulence. 

Here are some ideas; faith, service, accountability, kindness, diligence, love, fulfillment, action, compassion, etc. 

Not sure where to start? Grab one of these blends, take 4-5 deep breaths, apply it to your spine and under your nose and then listen. You already know…you just need to listen.

By the way, check out the emotional benefits of these oils:

  • Douglas Fir.This one invites you to invoke your high wisdom and learn from the past experiences and people who may have crossed your path. This essential oil is perfect for turning inward in the season of more introspection.
  • Frankincense.Frankincense asks you to welcome in feelings of protection, wisdom, discernment, and a spiritual awakening. This sacred essential oil invites individuals to shed the lower vibration feelings that are often negative and draining. This truly brings our your own magnificence.
  • Ho Wood. This peaceful oil brings out a sense of calm and helps to quiet the mind. By clearing the mind of anxious thoughts or simply clutter, we can fine tune into the deepest parts of who we are. This helps us to live in alignment with our principles and aspects of our foundation. 
  • Blue Tansy. This one is a powerful aroma that helps to bring out inspiration and the committed response of tacking action. This helps to be more purposeful and responsible, which is such a beautiful aspect to a solid constitution. Blue tansy welcomes in a sense of freedom and sense of walking towards your deepest dreams and desires. 
  • Blue Chamomile.This sweet and delicate flower is commonly known as German chamomile and offers a beautiful blue hue to the oil. Like its counter part Roman Chamomile, this flower oil is the perfect choice for bringing out a peaceful and serene mental state. This brings out emotional harmony and illuminates the wisdom with your soul.
  • Spruce. This stable, grounded aroma brings out an enduring balanced outlook to life while also giving strength through your wisdom. When we soak in this aroma we are reminded of the rhythms and ancient wisdom the earth offers. 
  • Cassia. This bold oil which a friend of cinnamon is warm and earthy as it invites you to feel courageous, strong, self-assured and confident in your authentic self. This brings an embracing warmth to the confident and meaningful connections in our life. 
  • Petrified Wood Chips. It helps to create balance and offers a foundation from which to launch new goals or undertake a different path. This grounding stone helps to calm scattered energies and look closely at the essence of what guides our decisions.

These beautiful oils and solid gemstones will be a constant as your dive into the fall season of a slower pace, a calmer mind, and as you seek out the principles in which your life is sustained by. To learn more about the principles I have chosen for myself, check out this blog post.

You can purchase this blend here and it will soon arrive in your mailbox with lots of grounding love.

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