This week I have been teaching my Yoga classes around this quote—
Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Bring your hands to your heart center (thought), open your hands to a flower mudra (that becomes the words), raise your hands above head (that becomes the actions), opens your arms wide (that becomes the habits), raise your arms above head (that becomes character), lower your hands back to heart center (that becomes destiny) … and it all returns to the thought (seed).
Try that with a mindful breath a few times. And again. Breathe and move with the intent that a thought becomes a word, a word becomes an action, an action becomes a habit, a habit becomes your character, your character becomes your destiny.
For the students with paralysis they can either move their working side or I can ask to move their body with them. The students with dementia enjoy the slow movements and repetition. By the end of the class many can repeat the quote. One of the students in the group who lives with a traumatic brain injury smiled and said, “I like that. I like how that feels”.
That is Yoga.
We also talked about within all of the “doing” how do we want to BE ? (Seed/thought), then our words and actions follow. Taking Yoga into life is my passion.
The term Svadhyaya literally means ‘one’s own reading’ or ‘self-study’. It is the fourth Niyama of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras and has the potential to deepen our yoga practice way beyond the mat, or in the case of many of my students the chair.
The word itself is made up of Sva, meaning own, self, or the human soul, and Adhyaya, meaning lesson, lecture, or reading, and can imply the practice of studying scriptures, as well as a practice of studying the Self.
And the Self I am speaking of is the divine Self, the true Self, not the labels and attachments we have about who we think we are, or the ego. When we listen to the ego, we often do things that don’t always align with our true beliefs, values or intuition. The ‘I’ or small ‘self’ is mostly concerned with survival, which usually entails getting what it wants in all situations, and proving it is indeed ‘the best’. The small self judges, criticizes, fears, conditions, doubts and is essentially the cause of the chitta vrittis, or ‘fluctuations of the mind’. That ol’ monkey mind that constantly floods our thoughts.
By paying attention to, or ‘studying’ our ‘self’, we become more aware of the things we do that harm us, and also those which serve us and bring us closer to that process of ‘yoking’ or ‘uniting’ with the true Self. The ultimate purpose in Yoga is the yoke or find union.
So many of my students lost who they identified with prior to their accident or diagnosis. The job titles, letters after their signature that represented their years of schooling, the size of their bank account, their successes, etc. These amazing people have been forced into deep self study, and I am in constant awe as they step fully into the Self. The willingness to look at their behaviors and thoughts are outstanding and inspiring. Their courage invites me to do the same.
Self Study requires a willingness to read the some of the ancient texts of Yoga that lead us towards a direction to the Self. We do the work, but the texts are a roadmap. The Yoga Sutras are the framework in which we actually live yoga off the mat or outside of the chair.
Studying our habits on the yoga mat (or chair) can go a long way towards recognizing our habits outside of the physical practice. The way in which we practice yoga is actually very reflective of the way we practice life…. and a person’s physical yoga practice often reveals a lot more about them than they may think.
When we’re on the mat or in our chair there’s nowhere else to go and hide behind. The daily distractions of phones, chores, emails, and TV are no longer there to take our minds away from ourselves. We have the chance to ask and then listen.
We also actually have to pay attention…. This can be a little intimidating at first, and a yoga practice can sometimes reveal more about where our problems are rather than how perfect we are – which as we know, is very good for destroying the ego.
In a Yoga session it is imperative to ask yourself where am I holding tension? The jaw, forehead, neck, shoulders and upper back are common places we tend to store our fears and worries. Ask yourself why this tension might be present, and how often does it arise during your practice? How often does a negative commentary about your abilities (or lack of) enter your mind? How many times do you compare or compete with who you think you should be? Where does your mind go in an attempt to distract the sensation of breath and body?
Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
Unknown
Svadhyaya in the sense of studying our selves in daily life though, requires us to really take our yoga practice off the mat or out of the chair.
Knowing what we’re doing in each moment requires us to pay attention, but asking the question “why am I doing this?” requires us to be aware and fully present, which is ‘paying attention’ on a whole other level. Questioning our actions is something we may often avoid, as it is usually a catalyst for change, and as humans we don’t often like change. We prefer the static way of predictability in our daily lives so much that even changing the slightest thing can cause a ripple effect of angst.
I encourage students to practice this willingness by not always choosing the same spot to set up their mat or chair. I offer movements that are not predictable and not always a traditional way of teaching. We may turn to the rear of the mat rather than face the front to actually practice doing something that isn’t the same old routine. For my adaptive yoga students I am constantly challenging them with small changes as it increasing mental resilience and flexibility of the mind and shows them that the minor emotional deregulation in the safety of a Yoga class actually builds confidence that they can in fact handle changes and apply them to their life in the community which is constantly changing.
I often say to students we practice here what we will apply there.
The practice of taking a proverbial step back and observing and questioning our actions can eventually allow us to disentangle ourselves from those aspects of our lives that are harmful to our wellbeing.
Observe yourself as though you were watching someone else; observe the way you speak to friends and family, the way you react when plans change, the way you hold yourself when walking or sitting, or even just the way in which you get dressed each morning… it all tells the story of who and how we are in this moment.
The practice of svadhyaya requires satya (honesty) in order to view ourselves from an honest standpoint, tapas (discipline) – because taking an honest look at ourselves isn’t always something we like doing…. And ahimsa (non violence) which reminds us to look at ourselves without judgement or criticism.
That is the beauty of self study. A peek inside of ourselves at the Self level and then polishing off the smudges that take away our light. Ideally this study happens both in a practice and in every moment of our lives. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to be a better version of themselves each day?
The first step is looking inward and removing all the things you think you are and looking at Truth. From there we see the habits, the patterns, the nonsense and we gracefully remove the things that are getting in the way of the true Self.
Feel like taking a deep dive into your self by practicing some Svadhyaya?
Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the Self”
Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life. Stacie is currently contracted across the country in a variety of residential programs for adults with traumatic brain injuries and other disabilities.
With over sixteen years experience, Stacie Wyatt is a E-RYT 500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance, a Certified Brain Injury Specialist, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor. Stacie is also certified in Integrative Movement Therapy™and is also a believer in the power and application of essential oils for health and wellness and proudly shares doTERRA essential oils.
Stacie brings her personal life experience of raising a daughter with a disability and over 12 years working in special education to her everyday Yoga classes. In addition to teaching classes in her studio and in the community, Stacie also continues to offer Yoga and Wellness coaching individually to those seeking private sessions.
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
? Roy T. Bennett
Happy June! I hope that you are welcoming in the changing season and whatever joy that brings into your world. My backyard is looking fabulous and I am loving all the outdoor time. I am also loving my vegetable garden and look forward to a bounty of harvest this year. I am all planted and now the practice of patience begins. For me, I tend to struggle with the process of patience so this is a really good thing for me.
Last year, I challenged myself to do a random act of service DAILY for the entire month of June. It was such a wonderful experience that I decided this spring to give random people packets of flower seeds. What a joyful thing that was to see people smile! I want to continue to sprinkle goodness and inspiration into the lives of others this month. I believe small acts of goodness can have a powerful impact on the world, little by little. I crafted a gorgeous blend of essential oils, crystals and dried flowers that I have named INSPIRE that includes eucalyptus, cardamom, peppermint, ravensara, cinnamon, ginger, clove, jasmine, citrine quartz and calendula flower. It is amazing and I cannot wait to randomly gift someone with it.
We are half way through the year and it is a great time to check in with your intention you set way back in January. I chose to bring vulnerability into my life. It has been an interesting process for me and I have been challenged with many opportunities to be vulnerable. Opening myself up a little more has been difficult as I tend to be incredibly private and low-key about the emotional side of myself. I have had several medical things pop up this year that offered me some lessons around being vulnerable. I have also had some new work opportunities and have had to navigate that bravely. It is all good, but I think I am good and could use a little break from being vulnerable.
If your intention this year was to ramp up your health, watch for a great series that I will be offering in July that will take us back to the basics of health and wellness in all areas of our life. This will include information on mindfulness, taking control of our choices, yoga and meditation, nutrition, getting brave, and so much more. I also offer wellness consultations to get a plan together for you!
I began an online forum for yoga teachers to learn more about how to take yoga into assisted living settings and successfully offer the practice to those with neurological conditions. This has been a great outlet for me to share more about my work and hopefully inspire others to take that leap and offer it in their communities. If you are a yoga teacher, social worker or mental health worker or know someone who is, pass along this to them.
Enjoy this new month and all the growth that June brings. Take lots of walks, bike rides, or sit for hours on a porch swing and soak in the summer air. And of course find ways to INSPIRE others.
xo, Stacie
About Stacie
Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life.
With over sixteen years experience, Stacie Wyatt is an E-500 RYT with Yoga Alliance–, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor. Stacie is also certified in Integrative Movement Therapy™and is also a believer in the power and application of essential oils for health and wellness and proudly shares doTERRA essential oils.
Stacie brings her personal life experience of raising a daughter with a disability and over 12 years working in special education to her everyday Yoga classes.
In addition to teaching classes at a variety of local centers and health clubs, Stacie also continues to offer Yoga and Wellness coaching individually to those seeking private sessions.
As I have opened myself up in my quest for vulnerability this year and to take something I am passionate about and share it more openly in my adaptive yoga teacher mentoring program, I am asked to look at what I do through a different lens and be open to understanding and learning, while also being confident in myself and what I know to be effective.
Since yoga truly is a practice for daily life and not the ability to touch our toes, I find myself curious how other yoga teachers and/or practitioners view intention. Is having an intention and a plan for the class the same?
For everyone else, is an intention for your day the same as your plan for the day? I don’t think so. I believe we set an intention in our day, or our teaching (example to be present) and our plan may need to adjust according to what shows up in the day or in the yoga session.
I am fairly clear on my intention within a general sense when I am teaching yoga, however we all know that “reading the room” is key. This ability to switch gears in a yoga class is also helpful in life because let’s face it, how many times do we have a plan and we need to change it suddenly. Having this emotional resiliency and ability to be flexible in our minds is a useful tool for everyone.
Here is where my vulnerability was poked yesterday. I had someone observe me yesterday in one of my houses and she asked me afterwards something along the lines of is that all they ever “do” in class and could they “do” more? I knew when she said that she was referring to “doing” more of the physical stuff of yoga.
Hmmm….we chatted about it and as I reflected on it throughout the day I realized that not only have I overcome insecurities about myself, I have also found that the foundation in myself and my work is incredibly strong. This was not always the way I felt and it has taken me polishing myself over the years to remove the doubts and fears and step into being vulnerable enough to share what I do with others in a very real sense. This also allows an opening for me to learn and continue to polish.
This is my truth–When I enter a group home or assisted living setting to share yoga, I have an intention which is to alwaysvalue them and see them.
As we entering the house, my plan for class had to shift once I was there a few minutes and we finished the check in. I ALWAYS do a check in and this is so important to what I believe is a great method that I have developed over time. In the check-in they get to answer how is their mind, body and spirit. This is something I believe we ALL need to do on a daily basis because it helps us to pause, assess ourselves so we know what we need. By answering these questions in a simply one or two word answer, it also opens the door for vulnerability, connection, empathy and much more.
The group on this day had just three students. The most able bodied student was out and the three that gathered in the living room included one who is partially paralyzed with no movement in left arm and minimal in left leg, one who suffers from severe PTSD and pain, and one who has very little motor control and incredible low self esteem as a result. This is a group who are working very hard on acceptance, grief and how to integrate themselves into their current lives following their injuries.
During the check in I learned that one student was tired but good, and another answered like this: mind-broken, body-broken, spirit-more broken. The tired student had a hard time sitting up straight and suffers from neck and back pain, so using the soft couch for support was where he was at. The student who felt he was broken has very little control of his body and the moment he feels a sense of failure, he quits. His tremors and lack of coordination is embarrassing to him and if he struggles, he 99% of the time will stop movement and just listen. The one who is partially paralyzed needs hand over hand support for lifting his arm and leg.
Did I need to switch gears? Heck yes.
Why? Because my intention is to value them and to see them.
I saw that they were struggling physically and my sense was that they needed the connection and opportunity to be seen more than they they needed to be challenged physically or “do” more. In my mind they were “doing” a lot by engaging, talking, sharing openly, and being present. For these guys, trust is HUGE and they chose to sit around the living and participate.
If I kept my class plan and/or asked them to do something new/hard/unfamiliar it is likely on this particular day, it would have caused them to bail. Since my intention is in valuing them, by adjusting my plan and giving them space to share and move easily in their bodies, they were able to feel successful in a world where they have little success. This touches on their past trauma, their present challenges and how connection and being seen can fuel confidence in them.
Yes, we did some movement and we did some breathing. We learned a simple sequence that is heart based and tapped into a softer side. Yes, we learned about energy and reciprocity of giving and receiving. We learned about faith in ourselves and something greater than ourselves. We shared our gratitudes.
While all of this magic was going on, dishes were being banged, conversations being loudly had, people in and out, distraction after distraction. Hard? Very.
For the yoga teachers out there, what is YOUR intention when teaching? Does your intention change based on your students in class and is your intention different than your class plan?
For everyone, what is your intention? How do you want to interact with the world today? Begin your day by setting an intention and then make choices to align with that.
In many of my experiences walking into into a group home to share Yoga I am often met with much reluctance. I think this is partly because so many view yoga as it is something you do on the floor with a somewhat healthy body in strange shapes.
For someone in a wheelchair this idea seems obviously impossible and out of their ability or comfort zone, and rightly so.
Several years ago I was standing in the kitchen of a home a couple years ago trying my best to cajole a few guys into joining me. I often have to frame it in terms of “hey, come over here and hang out with me for a minute”. I get to chatting and asking them questions and engaging in them, and then usually before long I have them hook, line and sinker. This particular day was just that except that the only person in the kitchen was a large man who made several wisecracks to me about doing yoga.
I started with my usual onslaught of engaging questions like what did you have for lunch, did you see who won the football game, what is your favorite season, how long have you lived in Colorado, etc. Within a few minutes, we are in a deep conversation about the mountains and things we agree make Colorado awesome. After a short while passed and he made another crack about yoga, I giggled and said we had actually just been practicing yoga for the last fifteen minutes.
I explained to him what the definition and essence of yoga is and that is exactly what we have been doing. Gotcha! I exclaimed as he grumbled something about weird yoga people. I offered him a professional foot rub and the rest is history.
Since that day, he and I have met twice a month for 1:1 yoga for over two years.
Here is what it looks like—I arrive and wake up him for a nap, I insist he come out of his room (he prefers isolation and even though I honor his preference, part of the deal with me is some resemblance of boundaries and expectations), he shuffles his large and partially paralyzed body to an easy chair in the living room, I plop down on the floor and rub his feet and then with his permission I move his body for him. I stretch his left side and listen to his horrible wise-cracks and jokes.
Just like that, I was able to get a skeptic to see that Yoga is union, coming together and finding a sense of self in the moment.
In time I have watched as his confidence grew and we went from me moving his left side to him agreeing to arm wrestle me, pull me up from the floor and reach for me. Prior to Yoga he often said “I can’t move my left arm, it is paralyzed”. Now he sees that while it may not be as strong as it was before his accident, it is moving some and he is building strength in his once really strong arms.
After about a year of working with this man I arrived one day to learn he was in the intensive care unit. It didn’t occur to me once to notswiftly drive over to the hospital and complete our yoga session there.
He was intubated but awake when I walked into the strange sights, smells and sounds of an ICU. I introduced myself to his nurse and explained I was his yoga teacher. The quizzical look on her face was something I see often when people don’t fully get what I do. I asked her if I could rub his feet and she agreed that he would probably like that. As I stood next to his head to say hello, his eyes opened and he looked shocked to see me. I teased him that he couldn’t get out of yoga by being in the ICU so we better get busy. His eyes filled with tears and even though he couldn’t speak, I understood what he was saying.
As I finished up rubbing his feet and was packing my things his heart rate and breathing became labored and alarms got louder and louder. His oxygen was tanking despite being on a ventilator. I instinctively put my hand on his chest and said “Watch me. Breathe with me”. After about 30 rounds of deep breathing, his numbers returned to as normal as they could given his situation. The nurse stood with her eyes wide open. I told him I was going to glue a picture of my face to the ceiling so that every time his oxygen dropped he’d see my face and remember to breathe. His eyes twinkled.
It is one of my greatest pleasures to showcase my students’ yoga practice to people who would never see yoga through this particular lens. The first feat is getting the students to see it’s not twisted bodies on the floor, the second is showing staff or caregivers the possibilities. Moving his body for him created not only connection but also the movement his once healthy body still desired.
This beautiful soul had his last foot rub a couple weeks ago and took his final breath this week. I will deeply miss our time together and what he gave my life. It is usually the least likely Yoga students that bring me the most. I hope that he valued our time together as much as I did. He was a special one.
I often say that I am putting all of the amazing nuggets of wisdom that come from my students with brain injuries into my future book and to share on my future Ted Talk. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Year after year and class after class, I am humbled at the insights that come from people living with brain injuries and feel so strongly that they can teach the world so many things about truly living. Over the years I have kept a little notebook with some of the teachings that they bring to my life and will often pull inspiration from that notebook in my everyday classes or in my personal life.
This one is a keeper.
I have been teaching from the theme of freedom this month. According to Webster’s dictionary, freedom is defined as having the ability to think, speak and act without hindrance or restraint. Teaching adaptive yoga in an assisted living home for adults with traumatic brain injuries often brings the most insights into the true essence of living Yoga. As we broke down each what it means to think, speak and act without hinderance we shared the challenges in our lives it was easy to see that everyone has certain hinderances or restraints that keep them from living fully free. For some, it is living without the ability to move their legs, or for others it is not being able to drive or work. For me although I can drive and work, I have certain physical limitations and responsibilities that keep me from being fully free in my actions.
We then moved onto our ability to speak without hinderance or restraint and it was evident that while the idea of free speech exists, there is a limitation to what we can all say and not get into a little hot water, whether that it within our own home or in the community.
We finished our discussion with the realization that the only true place we have freedom is in our thoughts. We are all free to think what we think and no matter what our challenges or our struggles are, it is ultimately what we do with it through our mindset.
Here is the moment of ah-ha that has stayed in my heart for weeks. As we were closing up our discussion on living freedom, this was spoken:
“The confinement that I feel is only what I ALLOW myself to feel.”
Read that again.
The woman who said this is a student who lives in assisted living and occasionally comes down for yoga. Her body is riddled with pain so her practice is breathing and sharing. She is brave and wise.
She also lost her independence, her family, her ability to work and drive, and basically do the things that feed her soul. And yet she has the insight to see that despite all of her lack of freedoms, she can escape the cage with her thoughts. She is one of the most insightful and grateful people I have ever met.
And to think that I am called the teacher.
Truth is, I am a conduit for their wisdom. I get to be the messenger.
When one finds their true purpose in life, whether it is being a parent, a doctor, an electrician, an artist or a Yoga teacher, it is unequivocally important to listen to and to pursue the nudging that your soul speaks. I believe that if we never follow what our inner voice is asking to do, we will endlessly spin during this human life looking elsewhere for fulfillment, continually lost and yet often seeking.
It is hard for me to imagine what may have happened had I not listened. Especially during those days of diapers and snotty noses, when I was seeking some sort of resemblance of control by manically cleaning and organizing my life, that my purpose was lying dormant until the perfect time to emerge from the darkness. I know more than anything that my girl was absolutely placed in my life to open the door for me to walk into my soul purpose. The winding road was difficult and took many detours, but ultimately it was her who said, “Come on Mom, something really great awaits you.”
This is how I have come to be here today, and how my passion became my purpose. It is also how I took a challenge that life handed me and helped me to create meaning not just for myself, but more importantly for others. If you can glean any insights into not only teaching Yoga to people with unique needs but in everyday life, then it was all most definitely worth it. I believe after-all each of us is supposed to do something powerful with our lives and we use our challenges to make the world a better place.
Part of my yoga teacher mentoring program is diving into the method that I have created and have seen incredible success from across various settings and abilities. My method touches on the teachings of Yoga and has much less focus on the physical body than many Western teachings. It seems our physical focused culture equates Yoga with touching our toes or putting ourselves into strange shapes. This focus lends many who mentor with me or those who are curious about my students to ask questions and wonder.
The question that I get asked more than any other question in the mentoring program from other yoga teachers is — how do you take traditional yoga postures and make them available to people with various levels of mobility?
I teach in my mentoring program that fundamentals that I believe every class has to HAVE to happen: community, movement, breathing, and gratitude. The movement part is what we tend to focus on, but many of my students are not able to move their bodies independently so some tweaking to the postures becomes a little more challenging. If they are willing to allow you to move their bodies for them (with lots of tenderness) then it really is not much different.
Notice below in this picture there are three different versions of seated mountain pose. One with both arms, one with one arm, and one with the student assisting herself with her partially paralyzed right arm to extend it to the sky.
Are all of these versions “correct”? Does that even matter? To me, not at all. Each of these students are connecting to themselves and are in it. They are each experiencing their own unique sensations, thoughts and feelings about the shape that their body is creating, and that is the ultimate essence of Yoga.
Nothing makes me shake my head more that when someone says that can’t do yoga because they are not flexible. Our silly minds have such a way of distorting truth and coming up with irrational reasons as to why we resist something that may be different or new.
I say often there is a method to the madness. Yoga is about awareness and union with ourselves and the avenues in which we travel to get there is actually quite similar to a traditional class, regardless of style or ability, if the intention is aligned. When we connect and let go of the chatter that something has to be “right” or done in whatever ideal of perfection one thinks, we then find the union we are seeking.
If you are a curious Yoga teacher wanting to learn more, reach out to me for additional opportunities to learn and be part of an online forum of learning.
Community;a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.
Life sometimes becomes so busy and hard that I have learned to take a step back and let the dust settle when I feel like I am one step too close to the edge. At least that is what has been going on in my world. While most things in my life are extraordinarily amazing, some of it has been equally stressful and emotional. I know that the best thing for me to do is get outside, get my hands dirty, and be productive. Some people freeze under stress and I am the exact opposite. The more I can accomplish in a day when I feel like I am going to explode, the better I feel. Not sure what that coping strategy might fall in the fight/flight/freeze realm, but getting stuff done is where I cope.
Literally a month ago I softly uttered the words —maybe I should open up one of my Fridays to see more students since my schedule is so packed and the demand is so great. Within a week of saying that a huge agency asked if I could add TEN memory care assisted living homes to my already swamped schedule. Sometimes when we speak something vague the universe hears it and runs with it! There is no way I could do ten homes in one day, so I chose to go from zero teaching on Fridays to every Friday teaching in four homes. And, another local agency serving adults with traumatic brain injuries doubled their services with me.
Wow.
Last week was my first week of doubled time locally and full days on Friday. I am going to be honest….by Friday at 3pm I decided that if I had to say “take a breath in and blow out a candle” one more time I was either going to lose my mind or cry.
Complicate my exhaustion of driving over 850 miles in four days, teaching 18 hard classes, and dealing with constant pain, I also needed to step up in the mom arena these last couple weeks. For the record, when a young mom complains of the demands of a toddler I kindly tell them to fasten their seatbelt because being a parent to an adult child is one of the hardest things you’ll ever go through. You have to trust that your wisdom will be heard and accepted–much different than putting them in PJ’s and sending them to bed at 7pm.
I realized today as I was having my productivity ass kicking session of washing both my cars, planting lettuces, spinach and arugula, trimming trees, fixing fountains, coloring my girls hair, finalizing contracted social media work, and cleaning the house, that I am so grateful for the community that I have.
In hard times it’s great to know that I am surrounded by people who care and are interested in becoming their best selves. If you are a reader of this blog you are either here for amazing recipes, or essential oil uses, or maybe you are here for inspiration and hope. Whatever brings you back, I realize that in a huge way this outlet gives me the support I think I need to carry on.
I also realized today that I have done hard things before. Many times. Whether it is raise three kiddos alone, navigating the unknown territory of developmental disabilities, or building a business from nothing, or leaving a loveless and controlling relationship that gave me financial safety and security to venture out with just a truck full of belongings and start all over at age 43.
I have done hard. And I have not only survived, but I have thrived. I know that this too shall pass with my kid and I will find my rhythm in adding a huge amount of demanding work to my schedule.
After all, I am not alone, right? I know that I have thousands of people all over the world whose energy comes to me through platforms like these and that in my hardest days, I can still feel that energy. Community and feeling connected is where we survive hard times. I know that I cannot do this life alone and continue to make a difference in the lives of others. Isn’t that essence of community anyway?
So, thank you. Thank you for carrying me on the tough days and allowing me an outlet to write, cry, laugh, cook, inspire, create and mostly, to love.
Have you ever used a Mala and practiced Japa meditation? Malas — also known as yoga beads or japamalas — are necklaces that usually have 108 beads. Mala, in Sanskrit means “garland”. Malas are meant to help you focus your mind during meditation. While Japa meditation is my favorite way to meditate, the beads themselves hold a powerful visual reminder throughout the day of the statement I meditated on and the tactile sensation brings me right back. When my mind wanders throughout the day, I can simply touch my mala and I am reminded of what statement I chose.
In meditation practice, Japa meditation holds a special place. It is the process of mentally repeating a mantra or speaking a phrase while meditating using a mala. The word Japa means muttering in Sanskrit. The meditative practice of Japa keeps the human mind steady and resistant to disturbance.
Meditation could mean different things to different people. I have written and taught how to transform meditation into mindfulness and how learning to live each moment in the state of mindfulness can change your life. While sometimes I have a “formal” meditation practice, it is often that my meditation/mindfulness practice takes shape in other ways.n
Many consider meditation as a quiet observation, wherein others often consider it a practice of self-awareness or reflection upon themselves. Either way, stillness and introspection is an amazing insight to your daily life.
I love to practice Japa meditation because for me it helps me to focus on a powerful statement, 108 times. It embeds in my spirit something positive and powerful. Plus the tactile use of the mala adds an element to the meditation that my mind enjoys. I have several Malas—some are made of stones like jasper and agate but my favorite is a sandalwood mala that has become richer over times as I use it.
The practice of Japa creates beneficial mental pathways and is a strong technique for focusing the mind and harnessing the subtle powers of the body/mind. I have seen this practice in my students many times as we learn Japa together. Some have even purchased mala beads to continue on their own.
How to practice Japa meditation:
Japa meditation is practiced by moving your fingers along a mala or the strings of beads known as Japa mala. There are many types of Japa that include speaking the mantra aloud, whispering the mantra or silently repeating the mantra. I prefer to be silent. There is also a technique you can use if you don’t have a string of mala beads. You can see that technique in this video.
Now that you know how to practice Japa, choose a powerful statement and try it.
Here are some positive affirmations to try:
I am calm
I am centered
I am in control
I am loved
I am grateful
am worthy of what I do and speak
I am valued and loved
I am allowed to put myself first
I am safe
I am secure
I release all my shame that I am holding
I love my body and what it does for me.
Most often, I simply say “I am____” and follow it with a variety of words like patient, strong, healthy, resilient, powerful, etc.
Are you going to give it a try?
* this is my sandalwood mala and a Sanskrit word Shanti tattoo which translates to peace
Tell me what do you love or admire about yourself?
I asked this question in all of my adaptive and traditional Yoga classes last week as we delved into the idea of Self-Love. The answers often are so sad when it comes to my students with brain injuries. You see these people have lost what most of us value and are having to rediscover the aspects of themself that they actually like. Most have lost their livelihood, their purpose, their families, their independence, their freedom to come and go, and oso much more. When they look in the mirror they often see the challenges and the impact of the injury so finding the qualities within can usually be really challenging. I also have enjoyed asking my group of students that are all over the age of 85 and living in assisted living. I am startled that so few of them can proclaim something that they love about themselves. Perhaps it is a generational thing where they didn’t spend as much time as younger people these days who seem consumed with the Self.
The answer seem to be so hard for them to find.
I ask the question anyway and the answer is usually that they are blank on what they love about themselves.
I keep asking, though.
On one particular day in a class that included a range of ages and abilities, I asked a woman living with a brain injury who is close to my age and is often very down on herself the question. When I asked her what she liked about herself her eyes dropped down to the ground and she quietly said, “nothing”. She was hunched over with her arms on her legs looking so hopeless and sad. This woman is so kind, so willing, so sweet and is so beautiful.
I knelt down so that I was in her eye gaze and asked again. And again, I got the same response.
I knew that I was about to open a beautiful can of worms and an opportunity to teach exactly what Rumi was saying.
I turned the question around. I asked this woman what she liked about me. She looked at me and easily said, “You are brave, and strong and so beautiful”.
We smiled at each other and I looked into her eyes.
My response wasthis—I am simply a reflection of you. What exists in me is also in you otherwise you would not recognize it. We are indeed a mirror reflection of each other.
She sat tall and said, “really?” Yes my sweet friend, really.
I learned this concept many years ago and try to always remember it, especially when I am with someone who feels that they are not enough or someone who struggles with identifying what makes them special. I ask them to think about someone they admire and what qualities do they see in them that they like? It is those qualities that also exist in ourselves.
Consider that. What you see in others exists in you. Kindness, integrity, compassion, love, bravery, beauty, honesty, humor, etc. If it was not part of you and familiar, you would not recognize it.
The tricky and often sticky part about this is that when we also see a quality within others that we find less appealing, it is because that too is familiar in us. When this happens to me I say, “ahhhhhh yes, there you are to remind me what I am here to work on”.
When we stumble through those ordinary days of self doubt and wondering what is really good about ourselves this can be an amazing concept to return to. When we feel burdened by life’s hardness and separate from the ideals in which the world has attempted to create, and we feel so less than, simply look into the eyes of someone you admire and know that the only way you can see those qualities is because they also exist in you.
It is familiar. It is a mirror reflection of yourself.
