My Teacher

Long ago when I was volunteering in hospice rubbing people’s feet near their time of death, I met perhaps one of my greatest teachers. Almost breathtaking in her vibrancy this angel gifted me an important message that will stick around for many years to come. I ponder her message often and wonder how I can learn it.

My Teacher

When I pointed out that we had the same birthday she immediately listed all the qualities of a Capricorn; strength, independence, tenacity, hard-working, task completing, don’t take-anything-from-anyone-attitude and basic bad-ass.  We immediately recognized the qualities in ourselves and laughed together at our headstrong stubbornness. Most of the session that I was rubbing her feet, she kept her eyes closed with a peaceful expression on her face. I finished rubbing her feet and was getting up to leave when she grabbed my arm.  And then with that all so familiar Capricorn fierceness she looked deep into my eyes and said, “do not let your strength get in the way“.

The silence that came afterwards left the words hanging in the air for what seemed like hours.  As her beloved partner walked past the bed, my patient gestured to her and told me that she is a Cancer.  She then said to me, “We are Earth dwellers.  Sometimes we have to carry the water of others. (nodding to her love).  And sometimes we must allow the water to wash over us.”  Her eyes closed again and she smiled.

Moments later her eyes opened and she asked me what I wanted my kids to know before I died.  I explained that I wanted them to know without any hesitation that they are loved unconditionally and accepted for who they are.  She smiled and assured me that they knew that.  Our time together became quiet and touchably calm.  As we said goodbye, we both had tears rolling down our cheeks.  In a short period of less than an hour, I was given more wisdom than I could ever have hoped or anticipated. Filled with gratitude, I held her hand and thanked her.

She repeated to me, “do not let your strength get in the way.”  

The craziest part of this entire experience was that morning I had tattooed on my ribs the word “strength” after polling my boys to give me one word that they would describe when thinking about me.

Perhaps a wall I have built around me is known as strength. Maybe this is a strategy of survival and safety for me. It might be that although the strength has served me well, it has also gotten in my way a time or two.

Your task is not to seek love but merely seek and find all the barriers within yourself you have built against it.

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