My Introverted Self

I love people—I really do. But I also love taking care of my introverted self and my favorite way to do that is to go into the forest. To commune with the trees and be totally at peace and in oneness by the sights and sounds.

Research is showing that visiting a forest has real, quantifiable health benefits, both mental and physical. Even five minutes around trees or in green spaces may improve health. Think of it as a prescription with no negative side effects that’s also free.

Health Benefits From Forests

Exposure to forests and trees:

  • boosts the immune system
  • lowers blood pressure
  • reduces stress
  • improves mood
  • increases ability to focus, even in children with ADHD
  • accelerates recovery from surgery or illness
  • increases energy level
  • improves sleep

Usually on Saturday mornings I take off on a solo hike and find that silent, yet so alive space. I usually visit one of my favorite tree friends I have ever known. She has been a friend for many years and though I haven’t gone to say hello in a long time, she still greets me with the same wonderful welcome. Over the years on this trail, I have played on the icy trails and I basked in the warm sun. I love to cross over the miles of Mother Earth and it usually is just what I need to refuel and get clarity on a few things weighing on me.

I love how the sound of my feet crunching the earth somehow brings the answers I have been seeking. It’s like the world stops for a moment and I can listen.

I am often reminded again just how blessed I am and how grateful I am that my life has unfolded in perfection. Just like the trees and how they know exactly when to let go and when to grow, I find myself in the same cycle.

During these solo walks I reconnect with the truth of myself. I find the quiet space between my thoughts. I receive all the goodness the trees offer.

Of course putting my hands on my favorite tree friend never hurts.

When I Am Among the Trees

This morning’s schedule change allowed me to have a long walk along a tree lined creek. I am certainly most grateful on these unexpected days where I have time to connect and be with myself and nature. Days like today are just one of the many benefits of being self employed. There certainly are some downsides to being your own boss, but time to get outside is a huge bonus! As I spent time watching hawks fly and bunnies hop, I found myself reciting this favorite poem of mine. Trees and time to commune with them often is something that is a must for me. I feel more connected, more energized and way more alive.

When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees,

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out, “Stay awhile.”

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,

“and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine.”

~Mary Oliver

Follow me for more goodness.

My Introverted Self

I love people—I really do. I enjoy the time I spend with people if it is meaningful. I am totally okay sharing that I am not great at small talk. I never quite got the less than interesting questions that most social hours bring up, and I also spent years living in shame that I did not go to college, I was divorced and living paycheck to paycheck for years, I was the mom of an awkward and very challenging girl with multiple disabilities, and back then I had not yet found my purpose. In general, I think I love people but I get easily drained by meaningless blather.

While I enjoy people, I also love taking care of my introverted self and my favorite way to do that is to go into the forest. To commune with the trees and be totally at peace and in oneness by the sights and sounds. I know that my time alone is vital for my overall well-being and how I show up and give back to the world.

Last week I took off on a solo hike to fill my soul with what she needed. I visited one of my favorite tree friends I have ever known. She has been a friend for many years and though I haven’t gone to say hello in a long time, she still greeted me with the same wonderful welcome. I played on the icy trails and I basked in the warm sun. I crossed over four miles of sweet Mother Earth and it was just what I needed to refuel and get clarity on a few things weighing on me.

I love how the sound of my feet crunching the earth somehow brings the answers I have been seeking. It’s like the world stops for a moment and I can listen.

I was reminded again just how blessed I am and how grateful I am. My life allows me to take off for a few hours and feed my spirit, plan things for the future, and mostly soak into the now.

Of course putting my hands on my favorite tree friend never hurts. She was just how I remembered–full of energy and an aliveness that blesses anyone who stops to receive.

How do you balance your life of people and alone time?

Hugging (and Kissing) A Tree

“Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.” ? Herman Hesse

If hugging a tree is good for you, imagine what kissing a tree can do? Seriously, did you know that hugging a tree increases levels of hormone oxytocin? This hormone is responsible for feeling calm and emotional bonding. When hugging a tree, the hormones serotonin and dopamine make you feel happier. Trees give us hope and insight, and courage to persevere – even in the harshest conditions. Trees teach us to stay rooted while soaring to great heights. Trees remind us that letting go is a cycle that must happen in order to make space for the next cycle. Trees teach us that longing for the previous season or competing with the other trees is a silly and wasteful way to spend out days.

For many years I felt I was I told a story that I was too busy to slow down and soak in the moment. I created a life that was minute to minute chaos. Now, I crave stillness and the result of a calm mind. I long for the smell of leaves that have fallen or the sweet whisper of a breeze along my face. I chose to walk away from the constant hum of a busy and demanding life for a the chance to take long, deep breaths and feel the connection to all that is.

By taking the time for my soul to connect with nature, I find myself better prepared to take on the struggles that can come from being alive. I know I am a better human being for choosing to step off the hamster wheel of constant striving and instead step into myself. There used to be something so revered about being busy, when in truth, it was all just a distraction to the inner work that needed to happen.

The tendency to create a busy life still crops up from time to time, but a quick stroll outside reminds me of the happiness that is inside of me. The home that is peaceful and calm.

I get to the feel the benefits of being close to a tree and I like to think that the tree smiles down when she gets a hug and kiss, too.

The Paradox

Emotions creep in at the most unexpected times. I dropped my girl off at her adult day program today and then had the most needed and lovely conversation with a dear friend. We covered a lot of terrain in our very honest conversation about pain, anger, disappointment, family, and the world. Although we did not solve any of these problems, it gave my heart peace knowing that I have someone amazing in my corner that gets it.

It is funny how this time of year always brings a set of emotions that range from grief to gratitude, and everything in between.  This time of year is a reminder of the death of many things, including people and dreams. This year especially I am finding myself even more in need for solitude as I navigate the sea of feelings that I seem to be experiencing.

I think back to a time two years ago when I witnessed the most beautiful moment as my sweet grand-baby took her first breath.  It was truly magical.  Within days of being consumed with a love I did not know existed, I learned of a couple sweet souls I had known in my work who took their very last breath. I was reminded again that within those two important breaths, life offers so much joy and an often an equal amount of pain. Ultimately it is what we do with both that makes our life have meaning.

Twenty seven years ago I lost a dream and gained a purpose. While on one hand having a child with a disability has been one of the hardest things I have done, it is also the source of my direction. So the paradox is one that I allow my mind to explore.

It is usually around my daughters birthday that I allow myself to ask the “what ifs”; what if she was typical, what if she was graduating college, what if she was getting married, what if she was having a baby, etc.  On the flip side of those questions I look at who she is and what she has given me; purpose, direction, unconditional love, simplicity, and a divine plan. I find myself asking those same questions recently as I witness friend’s daughters experiencing those major life events and my heart is conflicted with a tinge of jealousy and grief alongside genuine happiness to see their joy.

That is the death of a dream for me. And yet, I am grateful for the simplicity of my life with my daughter. These conflicting emotions seem to be evident in so many areas of life recently.

This paradox of life and death, grief and gratitude, loss and gain, joy and pain always finds me to be remarkable.  I suppose it is just like everything in life–temporary.  So that breath I just took in, I must also be let go.

And so is life.

I have decided yet again that the space between the first and the last is truly where LIFE exists–love, magic, connection, acceptance, passion and purpose. So, we must learn to lean into the joys and the pains because it is just part of what is.

I am incredibly grateful that I have had time along a trail and in the trees to figure all this out and makes sense and peace with what is.  What I have come to know is that all things happen as they should and it is a choice as to what I do with it.

Today, I choose gratitude for being given the gift of my girl. I choose gratitude for the friends that I have. I choose gratitude for nature to always ground me.

Most important today, I choose to remain aware of the space between the first and the last and commit to making my life the best it can be. Always.

Why Nature

Being in nature is so important to me.  I consider the benefits to be so great that I find myself craving the trails.  Here is what I think nature does:

  • I become grounded. I feel connected to the Earth and I am much quieter and calmer following a walk amongst the trees.
  • The fresh air fills my body with life. I breathe deeper and the intake is crisp and clean.
  • The abundant colors remind are soothing to my eyes.  The sky, the trees, the winter weeds gone brown.  All of it is pure glory.
  • Joy is present. The happy dogs running free and the people who exchange hello’s fill my heart with happiness.  How often do you cross paths with someone at an inside location like the mall or a grocery store and never say hello?  In nature, I find people greet others with an open heart.
  • My thoughts become quiet and I have space between the thoughts. For me, exercising indoors on a treadmill is monotonous and the sounds are disruptive to my thoughts.
  • My body is stronger.  The up and downs of trail challenges my physical body and I feel amazing.  The greatest feeling is coming to the end of the trail and my body is invigorated from the miles.

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