strength

Hip Replacement Update

/ embracingspirit / Leave a comment

Many have asked and wondered how the ol’ hip replacement is healing. The hip is eh…the arm is not.

I have gone back to work and mostly doing what I want to be doing….however the pain is still very prominent. I adjust things constantly and have adapted almost everything in my life so that I can carry on. It still takes great effort to do everyday things. I stopped using a cane awhile ago because it was aggravating my arm…more on that.

I will see the infectious disease doctor later this month to check status of the infection.

When the infection arose I had a picc line (IV) placed and that caused a blood clot in my arm. Then my body made more clots. The blood clots in my arm have taken up space and seem to like living there rent free. Sadly, after a recent ultrasound it shows the veins are chronically inflamed and damaged from the DVT and superficial clots. The solution is finding comfort and not aggravating it. She suggested not lifting anything heavy or doing heavy work and minimize stretching it.

She also said this is permanent damage that rarely resolves.

So there is that.

It seems my adult life has been one opportunity after another to show up, to be strong and forge through challenges.

I am so so so grateful that I have the strength I do.

Onward.

No Shame

/ embracingspirit / Leave a comment

I had a recent conversation with someone about body shame. For many years of my adult life I was heavy and carried around an extra 80 or so pounds. I have experienced fat-girl shame. It isn’t fun. And yet, I have also experienced skinny-girl shame. That isn’t fun either. I wonder sometimes why we can’t just be kinder people.

The answer for me came in the way of self love. I didn’t love who I was—not because I was fat but because I was toxic and heavy in every area of my life.

It was exhausting so I decided to love instead.

Simply love myself. As I began to love myself it became inherently easy to love others, too.

With my found self love I came to know that I am an enneagram one. I am a perfectionist and I hold myself to high standards. I also am an overcomer of obstacles. I rarely see something as unobtainable or impossible. I see the good in most everyone and am exploding with positivity. It is unusual for me to be emotional (something I am trying to open myself up to). I am steady as steady can be. I thrive feeling safe.

Taking control of my health and my body fueled me and I began to thrive.

No shame in owning that.

I also struggle with daily chronic pain. It takes a ton of discipline to continue to work my body into its best health. I honor my body and refuse to let her down by focusing on pain or limitations. Instead I look her in the eye and tell her she can do it. I have a strong sense of self and am in awe of what my body can do.

No shame in owning that either.

As years go by, I continue to tenderly speak to the large sized woman I once was and thank her for being patient with me.

Being on both sides of the size spectrum and feeling both types of shame I am convinced we need to lose the shame game. Give people the grace to be who they are.

Deal?

Follow me for more goodness!