Presence: What This Year Has Taught Me About Living in the Moment

Presence: What This Year Has Taught Me About Being Here, Right Now

At the beginning of this year as I have for so many years, I chose a word to guide me through the months ahead. That word was Presence.

I didn’t want another word that simply sounded inspiring or something I would write in my journal and revisit occasionally. I wanted a word that would challenge me, ground me, and perhaps change the way I experienced my everyday life.

I had spent so much time looking ahead, planning, anticipating, working toward the next thing, and navigating the many moving pieces of life. I wanted to become more intentional about where I placed my attention. I wanted to experience more of the moments I was actually living rather than constantly thinking about the moments ahead.

What I didn’t realize was just how many different ways life would invite me to practice that word.

As I look back on this year so far, I realize that presence hasn’t necessarily come from doing more. In many ways, it has come from doing less, slowing down, making different choices, and learning to listen.

And perhaps that is where the greatest growth has happened.

Learning to Move at a Different Pace

One of the most unexpected teachers of presence has been pain.

For someone who has always been fairly active, independent, and accustomed to moving through a full day, slowing down hasn’t always come naturally.

Pain has changed the way I walk, the distance I can comfortably cover, and even how I approach the simplest daily activities. There are days when I need to stop, rest, change my plans, or acknowledge that something I intended to accomplish simply isn’t going to happen.

I’ve had to learn that stopping isn’t the same as giving up.

There is a difference between moving through life with intention and pushing through life out of habit. I am learning to recognize that difference.

Sometimes presence looks like noticing my body asking for a slower pace. Sometimes it means sitting down when I would rather keep going. Sometimes it means allowing myself to enjoy a beautiful afternoon without feeling compelled to fill every available hour with something productive.

I’ve always appreciated the idea of slowing down, but this year I’ve had to practice it in a much more tangible way.

And there is something freeing about no longer measuring a day by how much I accomplished, how far I walked, or how many things I checked off my list.

Some days, being present means honoring what is possible today rather than mourning what isn’t.

Finding My Voice and Being Present in the Moment

Another unexpected experience this year was speaking at a conference.

Standing in front of an audience and sharing my words, experiences, and knowledge required a different kind of presence.

There is something about speaking your thoughts aloud, rather than writing them down or quietly processing them, that asks you to be fully there. You cannot rush ahead to the next paragraph or edit your words as you go. You have to trust what you know, connect with the people in front of you, and allow the moment to unfold.

I had to be present in my voice, my thoughts, and my interactions.

It reminded me that presence isn’t always quiet or still. Sometimes it is standing in front of a room, sharing something meaningful, allowing yourself to be seen, and trusting that what you have to offer is enough.

It also reminded me how much I enjoy connecting with others through shared experiences and meaningful conversations.

Returning to Work, But on Different Terms

This year also brought the decision to return to work in Denver.

Work has always been an important part of my life. I enjoy connecting with people, sharing what I’ve learned, teaching, and being part of something that makes a difference.

But returning to work meant considering something I hadn’t always given enough attention to: what would this look like within the life I am living now?

The commute, the physical demands, my energy, and managing pain all needed to become part of the conversation.

Rather than simply returning to my old routines and expecting my body and life to accommodate them, I began establishing guidelines that would allow me to work while still protecting the things that have become increasingly important to me.

I wanted to work, but I also wanted to enjoy my life.

I wanted meaningful professional engagement without sacrificing the joy I had been cultivating in my personal life.

That distinction matters.

I am learning that I don’t have to choose between being productive and being present. But I do need to be intentional about the conditions under which I say yes.

Not every opportunity is worth the cost of my time, energy, or well-being. And not every invitation needs to be accepted simply because I am capable of accepting it.

This is a different kind of ambition. One that leaves room for a life outside of work.

Being Present With My Body: Movement and Nourishment

My relationship with exercise and food has also become more intentional.

For years, movement has been a significant part of my life. It has been a way to manage stress, maintain strength, find balance, and feel connected to my body.

But pain and physical limitations have required me to reconsider what movement means.

I have had to let go of certain expectations and become more attentive to what my body needs on any given day. Rather than exercising simply because it is what I have always done, I am learning to ask myself different questions.

What feels supportive today? What will help me maintain strength without depleting myself? Do I need movement, rest, or something in between?

The same awareness has extended to how I nourish myself.

I am paying more attention to what I eat, how much I eat, and how food supports my energy and overall well-being. Not from a place of restriction or chasing a particular number, but from a desire to make choices that support the life I want to live.

Presence has shifted my focus from controlling my body to listening to it.

There is a difference between doing something because you think you should and doing something because you recognize its value.

I want my choices to come from the latter.

Becoming More Intentional About Who Gets My Time

Perhaps one of the quieter changes this year has been becoming more aware of the people with whom I spend my time.

Our time and energy are limited resources. As life changes, so does our understanding of where we want to invest them.

I’ve become more mindful of the conversations I engage in, the relationships I nurture, and the environments in which I spend my time.

I find myself appreciating genuine connection, laughter, shared experiences, and conversations that leave me feeling more connected to life.

I am also becoming more comfortable recognizing when something doesn’t align with the life I am trying to create.

This isn’t about judging people or expecting every relationship to be easy. It is about understanding that the people we surround ourselves with influence how we experience our days.

I want to spend more time with people who allow me to be myself, who appreciate the little things, who can laugh, who are willing to grow, and who understand that meaningful connection doesn’t require constant activity or grand gestures.

Sometimes presence is simply putting down the phone, looking someone in the eyes, listening without planning your response, and appreciating the person sitting across from you.

And sometimes it means choosing to spend an afternoon alone, enjoying your own company, without feeling that you need to fill the space.

Presence Is Not Perfection

If there is one thing I have learned this year, it is that presence isn’t something we achieve and then maintain effortlessly.

There are still days when I get caught up in what needs to happen next. There are moments when frustration creeps in, when pain dictates more than I would like, or when I find myself wishing things were different.

Being present doesn’t mean pretending those feelings don’t exist.

It means acknowledging what is happening without allowing every difficult moment to take me away from the life that is still unfolding around me.

It means recognizing that I can experience discomfort and still appreciate beauty. I can have limitations and still find freedom. I can change my plans without losing my sense of purpose.

I am discovering that presence is less about controlling my circumstances and more about choosing how I meet them.

And that choice happens over and over again, in ordinary moments.

Returning to My Word

When I chose Presence as my word of the year, I thought about the courage it takes to stay, to soften, and to live awake to what is.

I still love that description because it has become even more meaningful as the year has unfolded.

The courage to stay means not always rushing toward the next chapter or trying to fix everything that feels uncomfortable.

The willingness to soften means allowing life to look different than I imagined, being gentler with myself, and recognizing that strength doesn’t always look like pushing harder.

And living awake means noticing the things that are easy to overlook: the beauty outside my window, the conversations that matter, the satisfaction of meaningful work, the nourishment of movement, and the simple joy of an ordinary day.

I don’t know what the remaining months of this year will bring. There will undoubtedly be more adjustments, unexpected challenges, and opportunities to practice what I am learning.

But I do know that I don’t want to rush through them.

I want to continue making choices that support the life I am creating, rather than simply trying to return to the life I once had.

I want to keep finding joy in the middle of uncertainty, beauty in the imperfect, and gratitude in the everyday.

Because perhaps the greatest gift of presence is realizing that life isn’t waiting for us somewhere down the road.

It is happening right here.

In this body. In this moment. In this season of life.

And I want to be here for it.

A little reflection for you:

What would change if you stopped measuring your days by what you accomplished and started noticing how fully you experienced them?

Perhaps presence begins with something as simple as pausing long enough to ask yourself that question.


Enjoying this content? My book 52 Weeks of Wisdom & Wellness goes deeper — find it here.

Moving With Change: The Practice

Moving With Change

October has a way of reminding us that change is not something we can stop.

The leaves change. The light changes. The temperature changes. What once felt rooted and steady begins to shift, slowly and sometimes all at once.

And yet, as human beings, we often resist the very thing nature does so naturally.

Change can feel uncomfortable. It can feel disruptive. Sometimes it feels downright unfair.

But what if the invitation isn’t to love every change that comes our way?

What if the invitation is simply to learn how to move with it?

Pause before you react

One of the most powerful things we can learn is how to pause.

Not every change requires an immediate response.

Sometimes we need a moment to notice what is happening before deciding what it means.

When something shifts, our first instinct might be to tighten, resist, fix, control, or go back to what was familiar.

The pause gives us another option.

We can breathe.

We can notice.

We can ask ourselves:

What is actually happening here?

What am I feeling?

What am I afraid might happen?

And perhaps most importantly:

Do I need to respond right now?

That small space between what happens and what we do next can change everything.

Pivot when the path changes

Sometimes the pause reveals that the direction we were headed simply isn’t working anymore.

That’s where the pivot comes in.

Pivoting doesn’t mean giving up.

It doesn’t mean that everything you have done before was wrong.

It means you are paying attention.

Maybe the plan needs to change.

Maybe your priorities have changed.

Maybe your body is asking for something different.

Maybe the version of your life that once fit you no longer does.

There is wisdom in being willing to turn.

We can remain rooted in who we are without remaining rigid about how we thought our lives were supposed to look.

That distinction matters.

Roots provide stability, but they don’t prevent a tree from moving.

Adapt with awareness

Adaptation isn’t about constantly changing ourselves to fit whatever is happening around us.

It’s about becoming aware enough to recognize when something needs to shift.

Sometimes the change is external.

Sometimes it’s internal.

And sometimes we don’t know yet whether the change in front of us is a problem, an opportunity, or simply something we need to move through.

That is where curiosity can become a powerful practice.

Instead of immediately asking,

“How do I stop this?”

we might ask,

“What might this be asking of me?”

Or even:

“Could there be something here that I haven’t considered yet?”

That doesn’t mean pretending difficult change is good.

It doesn’t mean forcing gratitude where there isn’t any.

And it certainly doesn’t mean that every unexpected turn is secretly a blessing.

It simply means staying open enough to discover what is possible.

What if some change is welcome?

This may be the part we overlook.

We talk so much about coping with change that we sometimes forget to notice when change is actually something we have been waiting for.

A new opportunity.

A different way of living.

A relationship that evolves.

A boundary that finally gets honored.

A habit that no longer serves us falling away.

A door opening that we didn’t even know we wanted.

Sometimes we are so attached to keeping things familiar that we don’t recognize welcome change when it arrives.

So this October, perhaps we can practice noticing.

Not just what is changing around us, but what is changing within us.

What are you ready to release?

Where are you being asked to pause?

Where might you need to pivot?

What have you been resisting simply because it is unfamiliar?

And is there a change coming into your life that, if you allowed yourself to be curious about it, might actually be welcome?

Moving with change

There is a difference between being swept away by change and learning to move with it.

Moving with change means staying connected to your foundation while remaining willing to adjust your direction.

It means pausing long enough to become aware.

Pivoting when something no longer fits.

Adapting without abandoning yourself.

And becoming curious about what might be possible on the other side of what you thought was supposed to happen.

This is part of alignment, too.

Alignment isn’t about finding one perfect position and staying there forever.

Life moves.

We move.

Our bodies change. Our relationships change. Our priorities change. Our dreams change.

And sometimes, the most aligned thing we can do is recognize that we need to change with them.

So as October unfolds, notice what is shifting.

You don’t have to figure it all out.

You don’t have to rush to make sense of it.

Pause.

Breathe.

Get curious.

Then, when you’re ready, take the next step.

You may discover that the change you were trying so hard to resist is actually inviting you into something new.

orange leaves about to fall
Photo by K on Pexels.com

Breaking the Cycle: How Repeated Complaining Drains Us — and How Repeated Gratitude Heals

We’ve all been there—caught in the loop of saying the same frustrating things over and over. The stress, the pain, the overwhelm, the “why me?” moments. Repetitive complaining is surprisingly natural… and surprisingly draining. It doesn’t make us bad or ungrateful; it just means we’re human.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned through mindfulness, yoga, and healing:
What we repeat becomes what we reinforce.

And while complaining might feel like release, gratitude is what creates actual relief.


Why We Fall Into Repetitive Complaining

When something is hard — your body hurts, life feels heavy, you’re tired, or you’re juggling more than anyone realizes — the mind wants to loop. It’s trying to make sense of discomfort. But when we repeat the same story too often, it keeps us stuck in the same emotional place.

Repetitive complaining can…

  • increase stress hormones
  • shrink our perspective
  • drain our energy
  • make challenges feel bigger than they really are
  • prevent healing (emotionally and physically)

The hard moments deserve acknowledgment — absolutely. But they don’t deserve ownership over your entire inner world.


The Shift: Replacing Repetition With Intention

Instead of repeating the pain, we can repeat the gratitude.

Not the toxic positivity kind.
Not the “pretend everything’s fine” kind.

But the grounded, honest, heart-centered gratitude that reminds us:

There is still some good here.
There is still something working.
There is still something steady beneath the struggle.

This shift isn’t about silencing your pain — it’s about changing the soundtrack of your inner world.


Why Repeated Gratitude Works

Practicing gratitude repeatedly — especially in small, simple ways — can:

  • soften emotional tension
  • support nervous system regulation
  • expand your perspective
  • create new thought pathways
  • bring your attention back to what is supporting you
  • help you feel less alone
  • anchor you in hope, even during hard seasons

It’s the repetition that matters.
Just like complaining reinforces stress…
gratitude reinforces resilience.


A Simple Daily Practice to Try

If you catch yourself repeating a complaint (it happens!), try this gentle shift:

  1. Pause.
    Notice the loop without shame.
  2. Acknowledge the truth.
    “This is really hard right now.”
  3. Add one small gratitude.
    Just one.
    “And I’m grateful I’m learning to take better care of myself.”
    “I’m grateful for the support I do have.”
    “I’m grateful for the strength I didn’t even know I had.”
  4. Repeat the gratitude instead of the complaint.
    This is where your healing gains momentum.

A Repeated Gratitude Mantra to Use All Week

“Even in the hard moments, there is something supporting me. I choose to notice that.”

Say it as many times as you need.
Let it become your new repetition.
Let it anchor you back into compassion — especially compassion for yourself.


Closing Reflection

We all slip into repeating our pain. But with awareness and intention, we can choose a new pattern — one that restores instead of drains, one that lifts instead of weighs down.

A life rooted in gratitude doesn’t ignore the hard things.
It simply refuses to let them be the only things.

Something

I have said before that March has been a powerful month for me historically. This is the month I took my very first yoga teacher training many years ago and it is also the month that I took specialized training to teach yoga to adults with disabilities. On a personal note, it was in March of 2005 that I woke up one day so tired of being 75+ pounds overweight that I took the first steps (literally) in changing my life. March is also when I have made major decisions about relationships that weren’t healthy for me and have met special and unique people that continue to influence who I am for the better. March for me has been a month of tremendous growth and a huge saying yes to life.

Each year I circle back to this and wonder what may have been the initial steps that I may have not even realized I was taking during what I call my great “wake up”. On that cold March day, I grabbed the dog leash and laced up my shoes determined to discover myself. I was tired of being the angry, judgmental, insecure woman that I had become. Something in me was yearning for more.

This morning as I was planning my month of lessons it occurred to me that there was indeed something that called to me to begin the wakeup, and then to step into the arena of teaching yoga.

Something.

What was the something? What was the the spark that led to me to unravel the tangled mess my life had become and to reveal the person I knew I wanted to be?

The something was self awareness. It was looking in the mirror and seeing the truth. It was hearing my voice speak to my children. It was observing the thoughts I had constantly flooding my mind. It was watching the destructive actions that I took.

This powerful practice of self awareness led me to the teaching that I circle back to year after year in the the month of March-preparing our soil. Imagining that our beautiful soul is much like a garden bed that is awaiting the warmth of spring. Self awareness is seeing that garden bed within our heart and looking at all the old leaves, trash and twigs that are cluttering our garden. We all know that if we were to try to plant or grow anything in a bed filled with old stuff, nothing is likely to grow.

My garden back then was filled with comparison, judgment, self-hatred, insecurities, fear, doubt, anger and deeply seeded thoughts that I was not enough. I realized that part of my great wakeup that day in March when I ventured out on a walk was the first step at purging and cleaning out my then, very toxic garden bed in my soul.

Days turned into weeks and soon by late spring I had found little tiny signs of hope popping up in my life. Tiny little shows of growth. It took months for the little shoots of newness to develop into anything substantial but the fact that my soil was now clean and uncluttered due to my diligence with self-awareness, the prospect of me blooming was just a matter of time.

And bloom I did.

March is a time to look inward through self-awareness and see what is left of the last year, or the last decade, that is cluttering your soul and ultimately preventing anything new from growing. It is a time to purge the old feeling and thought patterns that take up too much space in your heart and mind. It is right now that we prepare our soul/soil for the months ahead of growth.

Go get your hands dirty and start clearing out the old stuff because major changes and growth are available to you!

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