Aligning Your Thoughts with Your Actions

The month of March has been historically a month when where major changes occur in my own life. As I look back I see that I started the wakeup of my life that I refer to so often, I took my first Yoga class, did my first Yoga teacher training, taught my first Yoga class, and hosted my first community inclusion Yoga class where able bodied people practiced along side people in wheelchairs and other disabilities all in the month of March. You can see something fiery happens to me during the month of March and magic really starts to happen.

About seventeen years ago I woke up exhausted again and said to myself, “I am done being fat”.  I literally heard the words “I am done”. I had lived with extra weight since my first pregnancy when I was eighteen years old.  Within just four years of my first kiddo, I had three little babies and a bunch of added pounds.  I was fully investing in being a momma and unfortunately at that time I had no idea that not investing in myself was actually a disservice to them.

Carrying the extra weight also meant that I was clearly eating foods that were not the healthiest and I was doing no exercise or self-care at all. I had every excuse in the world as to why I was unable to lose weight; healthy food costs so much, I don’t have time, I am too busy, I can’t afford a gym, etc.

Clearly my mind, body and spirit were so disconnected.  I was so lost.

The day in March that I woke up and decided that I was done was in alignment with the world around me where spring was just beginning. When I think back of that time, I realize that I too was in a rebirthing or awakening from a dark and long slumber. I was beginning the journey of my own form of blossoming.

My plan consisted of many things but the foundation of it all began not with the outer or my physical body, but instead it started with cleaning up my inner world.  My thoughts.

My first course of action was that I chose to wake up one hour earlier each morning and start my day with quiet, contemplative reading.  I journaled every single morning.  My journal entries at that time were not a recount of my day or diary-like at all, instead I wrote affirmative statements such as “I am worth it”.  I also wrote down all that I was grateful for in the present, and all that I was grateful for that was coming to me.  It was something like this: “I am grateful for the food I have chosen to eat.  I am grateful for my healthy body”. The quiet and contemplative time was like a drink of cold water on a hot day; refreshing, awakening and invigorating.

The time spent still and quiet each morning began to stoke my inner fire of mindfulness.  As I became more aware of my thoughts and was purposeful for those sixty minutes, I began to train my brain to be more aware of my thoughts throughout the day.  I began to notice when my thoughts would shift to lack or negativity and I would immediately pause to reframe them to something that was positive, and true. I found that many times I was attaching myself to a made up story or a future based fear.  For example, when my thoughts were something like, “I am so heavy….I am a pig…..I can’t afford that…..I wouldn’t look good in that…..I am broke…..I am a mess”, I would stop and tell myself that all of that was a story and the truth was/is “I am worth it….I have plenty of money….I am beautiful….I am amazing….”

Once I began to remove the heavy and sludge-filled thoughts that were literally weighing me down, I became more deliberate in my actions.  Through the act of being mindful, I interrupted the patterns that were contributing to my extra weight and replaced those actions with healthier ones:

  • My walking shoes were placed on the steps that went from my garage to my house and every day when I came home from work and before ANYTHING, I slipped on my shoes and walked 40 minutes.
  • The dog’s leash was set out and every morning–rain or shine–I walked my dogs 40 minutes before work.  I slept less but as I moved more, my body was less fatigued and required less sleep that ended up actually being more restorative.
  • The kids snacks were put in the cabinet above the fridge so it literally took a step stool to get to them.  The extra work allowed time for me to really think about how much I wanted/needed cheetos.
  • Instead of going straight to the kitchen when I got done walking, I went straight to the bathtub.  Not only did this give me a self-care ritual, it interrupted a pattern of snacking before dinner.  By the time I got out of my bath, it was time to cook and I eliminated extra calories in mindless snacking.
  • I used small salad plates for every meal which tricked my brain into thinking I was eating more.
  • I taught the kids how to wash and load their own dishes because I was eating thousands of calories in leftover chicken nuggets and fries after I just ate my dinner.
  • I invested in measuring cups and a food scale.  I did this deliberately for a short time so that I would be more intentional with my choices.
  • I logged EVERY single calorie that passed through my lips.  I did this for two and a half years!  Eventually that was an obsession that I had to let go of because it was getting in the way of joy and pleasure with food, but for the time,  I needed to learn just how much food I was over-eating.  Portions and extra wasted calories were out of control.
  • I started to love who I was.  I became passionate about ME.  I was investing in myself and the results were astounding.  I was happier, my relationships improved and my life began to be incredibly vibrant.

When asked how I did it, my answer is this:  I woke up.  I opened my eyes to my life and I said yes to me.  I cleaned up my inner world of thoughts and as a result my actions became more deliberate.  I began to see my self-worth and choose to love myself by honoring my thoughts and actions. You see, it was not a crazy diet that was restrictive or extreme and I wasn’t killing myself at the gym (although that did come later and had its own set of deep lessons).  I just woke up and put intent into my life.

The teaching that I always return to is really so simple: align your thoughts with your actions and your life will change.

Every Action You Take

Although I am probably once of the most disciplined people you’ll ever meet, I’ve been digging deep into Atomic Habits book written by James Clear all thanks to the amazing podcast Unlocking Us with Brené Brown.

I am learning about myself that while I hold myself at super high standards when it comes to my work and my exercise, I definitely avoid the things that seem scary, hard or vulnerable. For years and years I held back on doing things that would cause me to be seen more and I often make a millions excuses in my head as to why it is better to just sit back. I opt for the easier way out when it comes to the scary things that I want to do, but always make excuses for.

No more. I am committed to making small consistent changes that will help me become the type of person I want to be.

Since I have chosen my word of the year to be DELIBERATE, I am pulling my shoulders back and looking some of these things straight in the eye. I know that with consistent habits, I can maybe the changes where I become the identity of the hat I am striving for. I mean, I lost 80 pounds and totally changed my life with consistent habits that created an amazing lifestyle so I KNOW I can do this.

I was once terrified of becoming a yoga teacher and healthy person. In many ways it was much easier to complain about the things I wished were different than actually getting my little self busy on making some changes.

Every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become.

I know I can do this. You can, too! If you are already wondering how or why that resolution or goal isn’t working for you, I highly recommended reading Atomic Habits and go listen to the Unlocking Us Podcast.

Be ready to be amazed and scared all at the same time. And don’t ever feel like you are alone on this journey, because I am right here being amazed and scared with you!

Finding Alignment

Imagine for a second if prior to any action you were about to complete you were able to pause and ask yourself this–

What am I doing this for? Why am I doing this?

If your answer is connected to a deep desire for soul fulfillment then YES act on your desires. But if you are engaging for reasons that drag you away from inner peace, then it is a big NO. (Why is this such a hard lesson for so many women to get)?? As I explore this question in the coming days and weeks, I vow to become fearless in my honesty and clear about my motivation while also exploring the beliefs that fuel my action.

I learned at a very age that hard work = validation and love. The harder I worked, the more my mom approved of me and that lended to a warm and happy home. As a young person I found great validation in juggling all of the demands of a sweet family while keeping an immaculate home. In my thirties I added being a single mom, working hard and going to school. In my forties I left my job and became a self-employed entrepreneur. All the while maintaining personal development and a healthy lifestyle. It might be easy to see that I am a perfectionist and get fueled by its demands.

And, I also suffer from burnout and exhaustion. So as I begin to teach this throughout the week and how perfectionism can get in the way of inner peace, I am going to offer up the question “why am I doing this?” with each crossroad of a decision. If the answer doesn’t resonate deeply with my soul in an effort to be aligned with my best self, then the answer will be a resounding no. With that I am ready to discover a force far bigger than myself and take in what the freedom that comes with doing things that feel good, not what is expected.

The Commitment

It doesn’t interest me 

to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up,

after a night of grief and despair, 

weary and bruised to the bone, 

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

Do you have it in you? Can you dig deep even on the days when you are exhausted, riddled with grief and despair and do what needs to be done?

Life cries out in its needs whether we feel good or not.  It cries out whether we are rich or poor, filled with excitement or anguish.

To take care of life and all its children; mother earth, animals, plants, our babies we must fall back onto our commitment to simply show up and do what needs to be done.  It may not always be our best, or the prettiest, but we must.

It is actually in the moments when surrender to what IS and we stop fighting with life when she calls us, we actually become lifted and often inspired.  It is in that inspiration that we find strength.  And it is there we go back to our commitment. It is often when whatever we are facing seems impossible, we let go of the grips of trying and instead just buckle under and do what needs to be done.

When we eventually move out of the troubling situation, the exhaustion, the anguish we can see that we actually did so with great strength, and at times even nobility.

Each of us has a commitment to feed “children”.  It is the way you care for your home, your community, your earth, and how you go about your life.

See the world and all the millions of people who are weary and tired and yet, somehow get up and do what needs to be done.  See yourself as the little child and someone in your life cared for you, whether it was a parent, grandparent, teacher or neighbor, see the times when your little body felt loved. See those in our world who are not able to feed their children; refugees, starving places of war and horror, a momma waiting for her boy who is lost in drugs and violence.  Feel their dreams coupled with desperation. See yourself now. See who you feed now.  Be aware of how everyone is so deserving of love and care.

Take a breath of willingness to commit. Commit your body into the pose.  Commit your thoughts to be in alignment with your vision. Commit your heart to be of love.

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