Winter Solstice

Breathe.

A day to pause.

The word “solstice,” in Latin, means sun standing still, so in a sense, we could say the soul stands still on the solstice—maybe even long enough for you to catch a glimpse of it, as some legends say you can at this divine time of year. The darkest night contains the most magnetic power, too; this is a time to draw forth what you want, to incubate your best intentions.

As you enjoy the longest night and the brightest lights of the season, please remember this: your soul is the light of the world. You carry the light within you. You shine.

We cannot change the fact that life has heartbreaking challenges any more than we can change that winter has storms. Viktor Frankl wrote in his quintessential book, Man’s Search for Meaning, “When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”

When we or someone we love are in a storm, try to recognize the good alongside the bad, and find your inner resilience.

Breathe.

Light always returns. Light is always there.

The Gifts of the Present Moment

Can you recall a time recently that you felt completely in the moment? Not thinking about the future, the what-if’s, the pulling away into the chasm of unknowns?

For me, it was this morning.

I have recently reconnected with an old and dear friend, my bicycle.  Since my recent years included multiple hip surgeries I have been unable to really enjoy my bike riding, and I had said a painful goodbye to her years ago. Or so I thought.

I had forgotten how bicycling for me is much different than walking in the sense of presence. The intensity that is required to ride a bike on a bumpy trail, paired with the rhythm of pedal strokes and controlled breathing I found I had the perfect combination to allow the sorrows of recent days and weeks to fade, and to be completely in the now.

This was exactly what I needed.

I discovered while in the spaciousness of being totally present the range of emotion that I have stuffed over the last couple of months.  For a strong-willed person who rarely loses control or allows emotion to take front and center, I simply said yes. I watched as tears fell from my eyes and blurred my vision of the trail, I felt the consuming love only a mom understands, and I let my heart fill with compassion and grace, that at times took the breath right from my lungs.

I stopped.  I took in what was around me.  I let it all sink in.  I welcomed and allowed the emotions that were sunk deep into the cells of my body to the surface.

I said yes. I said yes to what has been ruminating in me since late March.

Not unlike others in recent weeks, you may have heard people sharing how COVID has changed their outlook on life, even in the middle of what seems like a constant division.  Not just a division politically or socially, but sometimes a division within even the dynamics of a family or close circle of friends.  It appears that people are seeming to realize that there are priorities that need to be adjusted and that the things we may have held important need to be reevaluated. I am not any different in taking an inventory of my own life and determining what may need to change.

For me, I have honestly loved the pace of my life that COVID has offered me.  Since I have a hard time saying no to things, this has been an opportunity to have no said for me and I believe wholeheartedly that I will be able to move out of this season with a strong voice that says no to that which does not align with the vision of my life I want to create.

I have also learned to look at the reasons behind saying yes to everything, except myself.  Many of my yes’s were based on fear and some crazy need to be that person who does it all and does it all with perfection.  To the point of exhaustion.

I have enjoyed the space of my home and being deliberate with how I spend my time.  I have a schedule that I stick to and it contains many sections of time devoted to reading, resting, being in my garden, on my bike, or enjoying a french press coffee on my patio. Not racing from facility to facility, cursing at drivers who were driving too slow because I was always late, often because I kept saying yes to something else. I never seemed to have enough time, I was always late and always stressed.

I have also come to see that life isn’t all about work. In fact, I have adjusted my work so much that I don’t know that it will ever resemble what it was.  And, I am more than okay with that. I will return to the things that feed my soul, rather than drain my soul, and I won’t be working to exhaustion–ever again.  I trust that I have built a solid foundation to take my work into the platform it has been proven to be successful the last two months and continue to build from there, but with a thread of honor and deliberate action.

I learned quickly to let go of many people in my life that have an obvious view that is in direct incongruency of who I want to surround myself with. I have seen characteristics of people I would have never guessed that frankly, I don’t have any interest in being around.  Again, more choice and less yes.

I trust in this new time and I know that in the emotions there are also windows of clarity.  I also know the gifts that come in the space of presence.  I welcomed this morning’s gift and promised myself to say yes to this unprecedented time with an open heart and a new path ahead of me.

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The Beauty

I want to know if you can see beauty

even when it is not pretty everyday, 

and if you can source from your own life from its presence.

Despite whatever is aching in your heart, can you still see beauty? No matter the despair, can you see beauty?  The physical pain.  The loss. The fears and worries of being human.

Can you still see beauty?

I learned many years ago from some of the wisest people that beauty is available in every moment, no matter what is happening in your life.  You see, my teachers come to me in a long-term care center for individuals who have sustained a severe brain injury.

Life for them is definitely not what you and I might  (initially) see as a beauty.  Their life has taken a huge detour and what was once their dreams of a family, a career, freedom to come and go, to travel, to do….is all gone. They now live within the confines of an old, dingy, strange smelling building relying on others for the most basic needs.  Many in a wheelchair and most unable to move parts of the body. And yet, they see beauty.  Every. single. day.

How do they do this?

Simple.  They choose gratitude.  They choose to see the beauty of the everyday things that we may take for granted; our bodies with all of the signs of aging and flaws, our minds to think and plan and speak, our spirits which fill the space with light.  They see the trees in the subtle changes as seasons change.  They notice the briskness of the winter air.  They take in the taste of the foods they are given.  They see the beauty in another human as they share the struggles and loss of daily living.

They do not see the lack and the limitations.  They do not look at their bodies with disdain and judgment. They do not see their living space negatively.  They do not long for material items.

The simply see beauty.  Even when it is not pretty everyday.

Can you see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday?

I know I am going to strive for that and I am going to receive the wisdom that they have offered me.  Beauty.  Everywhere we just need to look.

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