Back when I was young, married and raising three people I was completely asleep when it came to self love. I was overweight and miserable. I was extremely heavy in all areas of my life. I did not like who I was. I was also very unaware at how much heaviness I was carrying in the terms of emotion. It became clear that when you love yourself, you take actions that care for yourself. I never connected that the heaviness I was in my body was a direct link to the heaviness in my emotions.
Losing Heavy Emotions
When I began to what I like to refer to as “wake up” and get healthy, I started to actually like who I was. I shed layers and layers of heavy stuff that was either put on me, or I put upon myself. Labels, disappointments, regrets, anger and so much more. I was finding dark shadows that were lurking in my heart that were asking to be let out.
Besides the practical tools I began to actually losing the physical weight, I also forgave others and accepted my circumstances. I began to surround myself with people who honored me and were good influences to a positive outlook on life. In doing this, I lost so much of the heavy feelings that were literally weighing me down.
Losing the Weight
The practical ways in which I lost weight were simple–I changed my habits. Recognizing what wasn’t working and learning to make a very conscious decision to change it was my new way. I swapped mindless habits for mindful living and the game changed.
Some of my strategies were:
- Eating meals on small plates
- Chewing gum while I cooked
- Teaching others to do their dishes
- Putting trigger foods out of sight
- Making sure my walking shoes were always with me
- Changing routines to avoid mindless eating (taking long baths, going for a walk, learning to garden)
You see these simple changes were to avoid be being unconscious. This influenced my snacking, my portions, and my then sedentary lifestyle choices. Many of these changes still remain part of my life.
By swapping out the mindless munching on snacks for bubble baths or a short walk, my mind was beginning to see the value in me. It is extraordinary what happens to a person’s soul when time is spent consistently alone on a walk. The changes that occurred both on the inside and outside were amazing.
I began noticing myself.
I have spent a decade and a half living like these habits; mindful eating and multiple daily walks. I even became a yoga and meditation teacher. Basically transformed myself from an angry obese woman to a healthy and happy woman.
A vibrant life was mine. Once all the BS labels were shed, I found the true me and I found purpose.
Maintaining a light life.
While I have maintained a healthy weight for over 20 years, I have struggled with trusting my body. The multiple diagnoses I have received and the countless surgeries felt at times like a betrayal. In truth, I spent a solid 10 adult years living on double cheeseburgers, fries and chicken nuggets without a stitch of pain or health issues. Once I lightened up health issues began to surface.
I often ask myself how did I begin to develop inflammatory issues when I was now living my best life? My body’s ability to climb mountains, race bicycles, practice endless hours of yoga, walk miles and miles each day was endless.
And yet, my body was struggling.
I have since learned to accept what is. Learning to continue on living an extraordinary happy and healthy life despite pain.Making daily choices around movement vs sitting. Or ice cream vs a single bite of dark chocolate. And binging on stupid tv vs a long bubble bath. I’ve been extremely happy with the self love I have discovered by nurturing myself.
Amazing how much healing can happen when you say yes to YOU.
Whether it is food choices, walking, yoga, mindfulness or even getting down with lifting weights learning to love myself has been a journey I am so grateful for. Listening to the inner calling of my purpose elevated my game beyond any number on a scale could have.
I have found trust in myself. And isn’t trust a much needed part of loving this life?
Take a listen to this podcast I recently did that expands on these ideas. I would love to hear how YOU have lighted up and lost heaviness.
