growth

Experiencing Pain

/ embracingspirit / 2 Comments

Most times when we do experiences pain, we deny it for a multitude of reasons. In my case I used to deny my pain so that I was always viewed as strong. I am not super open about my personal pain but I am realizing that may not be the way.

Finding fellowship with others can add value to our lives and sometimes it’s nice to not feel alone. 

Experiencing Pain

Usually when we talk about pain, we talk about how much pain impacts us negatively. I mean, there is truth in that. Typically when we are experiencing pain it doesn’t lend itself to creating the best life. And feeling weak is also not a fun feeling and sadly, it usually goes hand in hand with pain. 

Over the years I have been on both sides of that spectrum. I have felt deep, emotional pain and loss. I have also endured incredible physical pain that few really know about. I have minimized and usually have kept quiet about much of my pain. I have also created an amazing life and career that I believe would not have evolved without pain.

Certainly, at times I wish I didn’t have pain.

Using the Pain for Fuel

The pain that I have endured in my adult life has been fuel to help me become my best.

Some of my first pain came when I realized that my beautiful daughter was born disabled. When realizing I would not be having typical experiences with her, I was angry. I was deeply saddened and felt incredibly alone. I felt cheated and that life was unfair. I lived in an area of town that had a relatively upscale school system where the focus was on perfection. Her being different did not lend itself to being included. While other little girls were being invited to birthday parties, my little girl was being shunned. People were leading their children away from her because she was different.

Around the same time this was happening, my marriage was falling apart. Soon I was a single mom with three kids and no job.

Having opted to have children instead of going to college, I didn’t have many skills. I learned to be anincredible advocate for my daughter. I could’ve chosen to wallow in the crappy cards that I was dealt. Or sit in sorrow. Instead, I chose to get going on my life.

Long after my divorce when my children’s father died, I went through a similar feeling of isolation and loneliness. His death put a huge reality of the finality of being a single parent. There was no longer any far fetched wish that he would decide one day to be involved.

Pain as Failures or Opportunities

A couple of marriages might be seen as failures, or they could be seen as amazing opportunities. I learned to see my part in the dysfunction of relationships, and begin to do differently. The breakups were grueling. Sure, I could give you a laundry list of all the things that they did wrong, but that would not be useful for growth. Instead I learned to look at my part on the dysfunction and my own abandonment and anger issues. I chose to resolve the deep wounds and allow them to scar over. 

Living with Pain

I’ve lived with chronic pain for nearly 25 years. I first began to see a pain management specialist to manage my ongoing pain all the way back in 2007. At the same time, I was developing a deep love affair with Yoga. While I was hoping that the Yoga practice itself would help me manage my pain, and it has in many ways, it wasn’t the end all. Many failed surgeries and many failed attempts to reduce my pain could easily cause me to break. I could be sitting at home and complaining about what my body cannot do anymore, or I could be taking as many walks a day that I have time for while feeling the sun on my face and the breeze on my skin and feeling completely and totally alive.

I could spend my days complaining about my pain or I could spend my days having compassion for those who also have pain. I could use my pain as an attention seeking tool to have people feel sorry for me, or I could use my pain in a humble way to inspire people to live their best life.

Pain as Inspiration

You see, we all have pain. And the way that you and I handle pain is individual. This isn’t a blast on those who maybe don’t see through the same lens that I do. I just know that my pain is what inspires me to get up every day and be the best I can for my students, my kids, those who I love, and mostly for myself.

One thing that I do know for certain is this – my experience with pain has shown me just how strong I really am. It is showing me how adaptable and innovative I am. It has shown me the very essence of my spirit. Had I not experienced the pain, I may not have ever witnessed this amazing woman who writes this post. Without becoming this amazing woman, I would not developed beautiful connections in the community where I could use the pain that I once experienced with my daughter to be an advocate for those who can’t advocate for themselves. I would not be able to sit with someone else’s physical pain because I wouldn’t understand it if I didn’t have my own.

Pain is not the enemy here. Pain is actually the gift. 

My pain has made me invincible.

Here is how I used pain to turn it into some useful in my life:

  • I let go of expectations of others
  • I learned to love myself
  • I made time for me
  • I chose me
  • I let go of people who did not align with my greatest potential
  • I released negativity in my life
  • I surrounded myself with love
  • I began to pay attention to my thoughts, words and actions
  • I stopped complaining and gossiping
  • I let go of competition with others
  • I accepted myself and the choices I had previously made
  • I practiced daily gratitude which made me actively seek out good in my life
  • I forgave others and myself
  • I stopped doubting myself 

Not sure where to start? I would begin by listening to the thoughts you have and the words you speak, especially about yourself. You might just see that shifting those two things to something more loving with start the process.

You got this!

Vulnerability Check In

/ embracingspirit / 4 Comments

Vulnerability is defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.

Brene Brown

When I began 2023 like every other year for the last nearly two decades, I chose a word as a theme or guiding direction that I wanted to bring into my life. It never fails that the word I choose for the year is perfectly suited for the path I take that year. Some years have been incredibly hard, like the year I chose the word peace. That was one of the most challenging years of my life. Go figure. I guess Spirit was asking me to find peace while enduring chaos.

For 2023, I chose the word vulnerability.

Since we are nearly 3/4 the year through this year I thought I’d spend some time this afternoon thinking about where vulnerability has showed up in my journey this year. I chose the word vulnerability because I wanted to expose myself a bit more, let go of the controlled emotions and often staying in the comfort zone of life. I have a pretty ideal career and my life feels very well rounded and balanced, so rocking the boat a bit initially felt really daunting, but I knew I needed a nudge in the direction of being a little more open. My favorite teacher Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Oh boy. The big question is why if my life is going nearly perfect would I want to invite those three things in?

So far this year I have had the following experiences that required vulnerability:

  • I opted out of a needed hip replacement and had to advocate for my health despite the encouragement of doctors and family. I had to tap into my inner truth and openly admit that I was terrified and the uncertainty was too great. Admitting the emotion fear is not something I do easily or often. This was huge for me to openly expose an emotion.
  • Once the hip surgery was put on hold, I stepped into uncertainty by going forward with a knee surgery that was intended to bring some pain relief and hopefully stabilize the hip. Turns out the knee scope was brutal and required me to ask for much needed help and be willing to receive it. Not easy for me.
  • In early spring I did something wild and totally outside my comfort zone. I bought a Jeep that I had been working towards for many years. May seem like a no big deal for some , but for this frugal girl it was a huge deal.
  • The risk came when one day I emailed an agency about the adaptive yoga I have been offering in assisted living setting for years. I didn’t need the extra contract but as an entrepreneur you never become passive or assume the contracts you have will always want you. The risk turned into a surprisingly instant contract, but it meant I would give up my beloved Fridays off to add another commute day. I wrestled with it for a weekend and decided to give it a try. My mindset was if I felt overwhelmed I would simple be brave and say that it was more than I could handle. Also, something I don’t do easily. Just three weeks into the month, I got asked to add 16 more homes with this new agency, which took my monthly number up to 46 assisted living group homes a month. Gulp. I said yes.
  • With all the new contracts, I knew right away I would need to actively seek to mentor other yoga teachers. This meant stepping out of the shadows and exposing myself online as a teacher who thinks outside of the Western view of yoga and be actively open with my opinion and be a tad more outspoken than I tend to be when it comes to yoga. I created an online forum that I lead to educate other yoga teachers on the method I have carefully designed for adults with neurological conditions and other disabilities and be extremely exposed when it comes to my confidence. Hiding in the shadows of my work has been comfortable.
  • Once the knee healed and I was back to my normal activity, my body decided that my foot needed to fail me and I am now dealing with an extremely inflamed and severely arthritic foot. Again, I am faced with dealing with pain while running a business and a very full life. This means asking for help, taking life a little easier when I can and giving my body so much grace.
  • One day in July I got a hair brained idea to teach a virtual 30 days of yoga series, beginning August 1. That meant I needed to get myself on a yoga mat everyday and commit to showing up for myself and others. As August 1st approached I was feeling more and more pressure, but it has actually turned out to be amazing. The messages I receive on a daily basis from new students and long time students has been so fulfilling. Plus, getting on my yoga mat (or a chair) everyday has been so great. What I initially felt to be so much added stress has actually turned into so much goodness.

The year is not over and I hope that I continue to grow into my quest to be more vulnerable. I am open to allowing myself to feel more emotions and to living with uncertainty. I have learned that each day is a chance to be present in love, laugh a little more and appreciate the emotions that arise. There are moments every day that ask me to open myself up a tiny bit more to others and to life.

What’s your word of the year? Have you done a check in?

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Scattering Seeds

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The first signs of green are starting to pop up and I believe it teaches us about resiliency and the rhythms of nature. It is such a great season to notice Life.

As I walk each day, I am happy to be reminded that nature calls us to be awake and aware.

Spring time is a great time to be reminded of the cycles of life that exist in all forms. This is a beautiful time to look to nature for the lessons and to welcome your own time of growth.

Springtime is a great time to scatter seeds within yourself to create the beautiful blossoms in your life that you desire.

Take time to notice the changes around you as you see the trees begin to bud. Perhaps you see the crocus flowers pop open and the bright yellow daffodils smile at you. Simply noticing and then cultivating growth within yourself will do wonders for your spirit as you blossom this season.

If we look at seeds as a symbol for our growth we can see that some great ideas for personal growth. What about increasing tolerance, having patience, loving yourself more, laughing daily, or slowing down to enjoy life? How about planting some of those seeds in your heart?

Once you set your intention and scatter your seeds, it is time to nurture these powerful thoughts and water them with love and tenderness. Keeping weeds away through positive thoughts and affirmations are a sure way to have a great harvest in the coming months.

What seeds will you scatter this season?

I am planning to plant more seeds of kindness to all beings this year. Spreading kindness is something I feel the world needs more of. One of my favorite acts of kindness is to give packets of wildflower seeds to random people. The smile that comes on their face when give you something so simple as a packet of potential beauty brings me so much happiness.

One of my biggest seeds I ever grew was the vision I had for my business.

I knew my seed had to have the intention of service at its heart. Way back in April of 2011, I decided to create the vision that has become known as Embracing Spirit Yoga. I am so blessed to share Yoga with people of ALL abilities in the community and in my studio for nearly two decades.

Like all strong plants, the seeds naturally sow themselves year after year and my business is thriving.

It truly does all start with a vision. A seed. Then with mindful attention to the seed, or vision, in time it will indeed grow into something amazing. Sure, there have been seasons where things needed to be replanted and readjusted, but in time it all grew into something that I am so proud of.

Now is the time to gather up your seeds and be ready to scatter them.

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Something

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I have said before that March has been a powerful month for me historically. This is the month I took my very first yoga teacher training many years ago and it is also the month that I took specialized training to teach yoga to adults with disabilities. On a personal note, it was in March of 2005 that I woke up one day so tired of being 75+ pounds overweight that I took the first steps (literally) in changing my life. March is also when I have made major decisions about relationships that weren’t healthy for me and have met special and unique people that continue to influence who I am for the better. March for me has been a month of tremendous growth and a huge saying yes to life.

Each year I circle back to this and wonder what may have been the initial steps that I may have not even realized I was taking during what I call my great “wake up”. On that cold March day, I grabbed the dog leash and laced up my shoes determined to discover myself. I was tired of being the angry, judgmental, insecure woman that I had become. Something in me was yearning for more.

This morning as I was planning my month of lessons it occurred to me that there was indeed something that called to me to begin the wakeup, and then to step into the arena of teaching yoga.

Something.

What was the something? What was the the spark that led to me to unravel the tangled mess my life had become and to reveal the person I knew I wanted to be?

The something was self awareness. It was looking in the mirror and seeing the truth. It was hearing my voice speak to my children. It was observing the thoughts I had constantly flooding my mind. It was watching the destructive actions that I took.

This powerful practice of self awareness led me to the teaching that I circle back to year after year in the the month of March-preparing our soil. Imagining that our beautiful soul is much like a garden bed that is awaiting the warmth of spring. Self awareness is seeing that garden bed within our heart and looking at all the old leaves, trash and twigs that are cluttering our garden. We all know that if we were to try to plant or grow anything in a bed filled with old stuff, nothing is likely to grow.

My garden back then was filled with comparison, judgment, self-hatred, insecurities, fear, doubt, anger and deeply seeded thoughts that I was not enough. I realized that part of my great wakeup that day in March when I ventured out on a walk was the first step at purging and cleaning out my then, very toxic garden bed in my soul.

Days turned into weeks and soon by late spring I had found little tiny signs of hope popping up in my life. Tiny little shows of growth. It took months for the little shoots of newness to develop into anything substantial but the fact that my soil was now clean and uncluttered due to my diligence with self-awareness, the prospect of me blooming was just a matter of time.

And bloom I did.

March is a time to look inward through self-awareness and see what is left of the last year, or the last decade, that is cluttering your soul and ultimately preventing anything new from growing. It is a time to purge the old feeling and thought patterns that take up too much space in your heart and mind. It is right now that we prepare our soul/soil for the months ahead of growth.

Go get your hands dirty and start clearing out the old stuff because major changes and growth are available to you!

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Telling Your Story

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“You may find that making a difference for others makes the biggest difference in you.”

Over the years I have had the opportunity to share my story a few times through interviews and podcasts and each time I get to tell it I realize that it wasn’t until I literally woke up and stepped into acceptance and gratitude that my life began to transform into greatness.

We all have a story and hopefully we all have opportunities to tell it and use it as a springboard to inspire others. This recent interview cut right to the chase of what I do and why.

What’s your business, and who are your customers?

I teach adaptive Yoga and wellness to individuals living in an assisted living setting with traumatic brain injuries.

Tell us about yourself

I am the mother and caregiver to an adult daughter with a disability, and I had initially found yoga for myself to help with stress and self-confidence. I soon realized that it was much more than that. I believe that when I allowed healing to come to my heart and sadness and find acceptance for the struggles I had been a single mom to three little kids and one significantly disabled, I was able to see that perhaps my girl was a beautiful door that opened for me to share yoga with those unable to access traditional yoga settings. I am now contracted with over 100 individuals per month with TBI and have become a success in my field. I am motivated by my students and their resiliency and how their trauma has influenced them to be their best selves. I am inspired by them in every class I get to share with them.

What’s your biggest accomplishment as a business owner?

My biggest accomplishment has been showing individuals that yoga is not about the physical body and that the intent is to find wholeness within themselves. I am so proud of the method that I have developed that has shown over a decade of success using yoga as a modality to find contentment, inner awareness, and life after injury.

What’s one of the hardest things that comes with being a business owner?

The hardest part is having enough time to reach all my students, learning to say no, and keeping myself healthy in mind, body, and spirit to be able to continue to show up as my best self.

What are the top tips you’d give to anyone looking to start, run and grow a business today?

  1. Market effectively.
  2. Be yourself and use your passion to fuel your business.
  3. Be willing to always keep learning.

Where can people find you and your business?

Website: https://sites.google.com/view/embracingspirityoga/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embracingspirityoga/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embracingspirityoga/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stacie-wyatt-4ab7a3120/

*interview courtesy of Team Subkit

Having the opportunity to share Yoga and wellness in the community with individuals unable to access a traditional setting has been life changing for me. I hope that you find ways that your story can influence and help others. It is through our own growth that we give others permission to do the same.

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Spring Symbolism

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Ahhhh….Can you believe that spring is just around the corner? Soon we will push our clocks forward and the longer days will be upon on us. I can’t wait! I love a good snowy day, but to see the beginnings of green growth popping out is so exciting to me! Last year I had a wonderful garden and look forward to an even better one this year. Something so wonderful about growing your own veggies. My backyard is already chirping with birds and it seems so alive already.

I love spring and the symbolism it represents.

It is during the springtime that we often think of beginnings, newness, and growth. I can recall at least four times in my life that major changes occurred in March. This is a great time to begin to cultivate your “soil” so that soon you can plant seeds of intention. One way to do this is to write down anything in your life you wish to increase—friendships, health, abundance or joy, peace, etc. Be clear about your visions, review your intentions often, and dream big!

While you are preparing yourself for a season of growth, this is also a time to eliminate the old stuff of the past season that is leftover–things like thoughts of limitation, fears or doubts. That kind of clutter can easily invade your precious garden of growth. I like to think of it much like my actual garden bed in my backyard where last years leaves, twigs, trash and growth clutter and cover the soil. If I want to give the new growth any chance to break through, I better take the time to clear away the old stuff. This blog post explains it so well.

The subtle changes in nature

Another great practice that brings us into the now is to become aware of the subtle changes in Nature during this time of the year. You might see the peeking of crocus bulbs emerging from the hardened winter ground. Watch as the trees begin to grow tiny nubs that will soon break into full leaves. Listen as the birds start to make a song in the early mornings and the air has a scent of newness. Use all of your senses to experience what is happening around you.

As we connect with Nature we also connect with ourselves. We realize that we too are ever-changing and growing beings. We can set the seeds of intention and begin to nurture and cultivate what we wish to have growing in our lives. It here we are reminded of the union that Life offers.

Intention to Faith

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Personal development has been a hobby of mine for the last 15 years.  What has come from this hobby has been truly amazing and I am grateful for the wake up. 

Over the last decade and a half, I have dug deep into healthy living. This includes meditation, yoga, spirituality, soul-searching and the gut wrenching-digging-out-the-crap-of-old-beliefs-and-stories.  I can say with honesty that I have also struggled to maintain my momentum without finding myself overly critical.  Self-loathing and microscopic analysis of all that I need to “work on” can be consuming for a habit-forming personality type like myself.  In contrast, there has been plenty of times when I have also neatly stacked all the self-help, goddess inspiring, soul inspiring books and walked away to take a breather.

I am in the midst of another cycle where I am looking at my stuff and balancing it with the confidence and self-assurance that I am really okay.  In fact, I am beyond okay.  I am an empowered and magnificently flawed human that is willing to grow.

And like all growing spurts, there is usually some pain. The deep aches that wake you in the middle night.  The stretching of the mind, body and soul to embark on a new way of seeing the world, and specifically myself in the world.

While I balance what needs to be examined; work patterns, where I put my energy, habits that don’t serve my greatest good, words that hurt, etc., with the understanding what I hold my faith in–and that is, ALL experiences are opportunities to grow.

ALL.

This includes the sticky experiences that are challenging and the opposing joy filled experiences that are exhilarating.  I believe in the deepest of my very essence that every experience is a lesson. I also hold confidence that embedded in each ‘lesson’ is the calling to fall back into your faith.  Lay softy down in the knowing that all is well.  I do this by consciously handing over to God what is showing up with a trusting that in the end, I will be okay.  In truth, I am far better than okay and whatever is showing up in my life, is temporary and by bringing more of my intention to my faith the more fearless I do become.

The Invitation

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In these uncertain times I find myself longing for what I know and for what brings me a sense of feeling grounded. For many years I come back time and time again to this poem. I share it with those who I know are willing to meet me in the space of vulnerability and see me from the heart of compassion. For me this poem invites me into myself and reveals the truths of who I am, or who I strive to be.

The Invitation

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Preparing the Soil

/ embracingspirit / 3 Comments

I think of early March as a time to prepare for growth. To toil the ground and prepare ourselves for deep growth.  I also love spring and the symbolism it represents.  It is during the spring time that we often think of beginnings, newness, and growth.  For some, this is a great time to begin to cultivate your “soil” to soon plant seeds of intention. One way to do this is to write down anything in your life you wish to increase–friendships, health, abundance or joy, are just a few ideas.  Be clear with your visions as this brings life to your “seeds”.

Next, it is so important to prepare your inner “soil” by eliminating and removing the old and now transpired blossoms of last year.  The memories of past that have come and go and no longer as vibrant as they were just a few short months ago. When we invest time in preparing ourselves for a season of growth (no matter what time of year, really) we must start with cleaning up the areas so that we are open to allow space for growth. When we spend time doing this we are investing time into right now.  We are dirtying our hands with the fertile soil that awaits.

As you do this, become aware of the subtle changes in Nature during this time of the year.  You might see the peeking of crocus bulbs emerging from the hardened winter ground.  Watch as the trees begin to grow tiny nubs that will soon break into full leaves.  Listen as the birds start to make song in the early mornings and the air has a scent of newness.  Use all of your senses to experience what is happening around you.

As we connect with Nature we also connect with ourselves. We realize that we too, are ever-changing and growing beings.  We can set the seeds of intention and begin to nurture and cultivate what we wish to have grown in our lives.

This month in my classes we will be exploring cleansing postures to eliminate the old and make space for new.  We will also be looking at ways our bodies can twist and unwind to come fully into the now.

Here is to growing, less pain, more joy and flourishing!  Happy Spring and while you are preparing your soul for growth it is never a bad idea to get your hands dirty in Mother Earth, either.

Learn more about this powerful process in this short video! 

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