2020 Year in Review

Ahhhhh.the final day of 2020. It has been a transformative year for me in so many ways. When I pulled up my #bestnine photos I was happy to see that two of my favorite quotes made the cut.

Mindset IS everything.

Like so many people, my life that I knew came to an abrupt stop March 7th—my studio closed, the gym I taught at closed, the long term care centers and clinics I saw clients in closed, and my daughters adult day programming closed.I needed to generate an income to sustain my life AND meet the needs of my kid. Within 36 hours my entire business went online and I was again navigating meaningful and purposeful activities for my girl to do while at home, and still maintain her social skills, advocating skills and navigating the community.

My mindset HAD to shift, and shift quickly. What once was daunting to me, has now become second nature. I actually like the camera! And the growth I have seen in my daughter these last nine months has solidified my belief that the services in the community need a serious overhaul before I would consider putting her back in a program.

The other quote that popped up inspired me to be open to anything…to allow myself to become what I want by moving through the challenges with grace, hard work and a bunch of faith.The cute little gal in the photos showed up so much because my life changed SO much this year, I was able to spend weekly time with my little mini-me. The special bond that we have developed would not have happened if not for the major changes to my work schedule.

A major ankle surgery and looking forward to the next season of my life inspired me to practice radical self-love. To say no when I needed to, to take extra long bubble baths and be willing to receive help and accept a pace of healing that has been incredibly slow. I recognized the boundaries that were needed to keep my heart in a good space. I learned to let go.

For me, 2020 has been remarkable.

My word for 2020 was REVERENCE—a deep honor and respect for all things and experiences.

I’d say I embraced it beautifully.

Finding Alignment

Imagine for a second if prior to any action you were about to complete you were able to pause and ask yourself this–

What am I doing this for? Why am I doing this?

If your answer is connected to a deep desire for soul fulfillment then YES act on your desires. But if you are engaging for reasons that drag you away from inner peace, then it is a big NO. (Why is this such a hard lesson for so many women to get)?? As I explore this question in the coming days and weeks, I vow to become fearless in my honesty and clear about my motivation while also exploring the beliefs that fuel my action.

I learned at a very age that hard work = validation and love. The harder I worked, the more my mom approved of me and that lended to a warm and happy home. As a young person I found great validation in juggling all of the demands of a sweet family while keeping an immaculate home. In my thirties I added being a single mom, working hard and going to school. In my forties I left my job and became a self-employed entrepreneur. All the while maintaining personal development and a healthy lifestyle. It might be easy to see that I am a perfectionist and get fueled by its demands.

And, I also suffer from burnout and exhaustion. So as I begin to teach this throughout the week and how perfectionism can get in the way of inner peace, I am going to offer up the question “why am I doing this?” with each crossroad of a decision. If the answer doesn’t resonate deeply with my soul in an effort to be aligned with my best self, then the answer will be a resounding no. With that I am ready to discover a force far bigger than myself and take in what the freedom that comes with doing things that feel good, not what is expected.