Speak Your Truth

Seeking Yoga Teachers

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There are some awesome heart centered Yoga teachers out there that are tired of the high focus on the physical form that our western culture emphasizes. They also have the heart to touch the lives of unique individuals.

I am seeking those Yoga teachers.

When I began my own personal practice of yoga I was doing it for all the reasons many of us do–increase flexibility, get leaner and stronger, and stretch the tight muscles. What I discovered in the process of learning and doing all of that is the true essence of Yoga–which is union; with myself and with others.

It was also at this time that I was embarking on a self-discovery quest that lead me down many paths, and ultimately opened some amazing doors for my own personal growth.

I had dove deep into my soul and realized that I am here to do great things and in order to do that, I had A LOT of healing in my heart to do. (A recent podcast explains it all). When I found the space in my heart that anger no longer was consuming, I filled it with life changing love.

Hustling

I have been hustling in and out of assisted living, rehab centers and group homes for over thirteen years, specializing in people with brain injuries. It is the most rewarding work I can ever imagine. It is SO needed in every community.

Let’s team up

I want to share this very special population with YOU so that you can go into your communities and feel confident teaching Yoga to individuals with disabilities.

I am currently taking applications for adaptive yoga teacher mentorship. Learn more!

Together we can do so much more.

Learn More
Embracing Spirit Yoga

Loving Myself

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We all think we know what love is and what the definition is, but I resonate the most with how Brené Brown defines love–

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

For the first 30 years of my life I thought I knew what love was and that I was living as an example of love—dependable, reliable, giving, and selfless. I’ve come to now see that what I was really offering was anything but that. I was clueless, unaware, oblivious and at times, destructive.

Not to others.

To myself.

Back when I was young, married and raising three people I was completely asleep when it came to self love. I have come to realize now however that I simply did not like who I was, so loving me was not even close to being on my radar. It is clear now that when you love yourself, you take actions that care for yourself.

Back then I had no awareness that the fast food I was consuming and the sedentary life I was living was contributing to my very large body. I never connected that the heaviness I was in my body was a direct link to the heaviness in my emotions. And then I realized that being an amazing mom wasn’t enough love. There was someone that love wasn’t shown.

Not to myself.

When I began to what I like to refer to as “wake up” and get healthy, I started to like me. I was finding dark shadows that were lurking in my heart that were asking to be let out. The beginning to many things that were literally weighing me down. I forgave others and accepted my circumstances. I began to care for me.

The logistics in which I lost weight are simple–I changed my habits. Recognizing what wasn’t working and learning to make a very conscious decision to change it was my new way.

Some of my strategies were:

  • Eating meals on small plates
  • Chewing gum while I cooked
  • Teaching others to do their dishes
  • Putting trigger foods out of sight
  • Making sure my walking shoes were always with me
  • Changing routines to avoid mindless eating (taking long baths, going for a walk, learning to garden)

You see these simple changes were to avoid be being unconscious. This influenced snacking, portions, and sedentary lifestyle choices. Many of these changes still remain part of my life.

By swapping out the mindless munching on snacks for bubble baths or a short walk, my mind was beginning to see the value in me. It is extraordinary what happens to a person’s soul when time is spent consistently alone on a walk. The changes that occurred both on the inside and outside were amazing.

I began noticing myself.

I have spent a decade and a half living like these habits; mindful eating and multiple daily walks. I even became a yoga and meditation teacher. Basically transformed myself from an angry obese woman to a healthy and happy woman.

A vibrant life was mine.

Then I got injured.

For the last seven years I have dealt with healing from four orthopedic surgeries and learning to live with chronic pain. This body that I had worked so hard to become healthy began to defile me. It was as if she was rebelling against this lifestyle of health and fitness.

Feelings of deep sadness came.

While I have maintained a healthy weight for over 20 years, I have struggled with trusting my body. The multiple diagnoses felt at times like a betrayal. In truth, I spent a solid 10 adult years living on double cheeseburgers, fries and chicken nuggets without a stitch of pain or health issues.

How did I begin to develop inflammatory issues when I was now living my best life? My body’s ability to climb mountains, race bicycles, practice endless hours of yoga, walk miles and miles each day was endless..

And yet, my body was struggling.

I have since learned to accept what is. Learning to continue on living an extraordinary happy and healthy life despite pain.Making daily choices around movement vs sitting. Or ice cream vs a single bite of dark chocolate. And binging on stupid tv vs a long bubble bath. I’ve been extremely happy with the self love I have discovered by nurturing myself.

Loving myself.

The game changed about six months ago when I stumbled onto a strength training program. I was completely content with my body and it’s strength and flexibility-and my size- but was intrigued by this idea of committing to something new.

Questions of worthiness immediately rose to the surface. The excuses were miles long. (I can’t do that because of my hip, that will hurt my ankle, I don’t need to do burpees, I don’t have enough weights, my body is “good enough”).

Deep down I knew that all of that internal dialogue didn’t sound much like loving myself. And I knew it.

So I began October 1st. A brand new love affair with myself. And like any new love there have bumps along the way—days I doubted myself and had some pretty bad words spoken, days I wanted to give up and go back to the inner narrative that I was “good enough”.

Those challenging days of the early love affair with my 51 year old self are gone. Now, I am in complete awe of what I have been able to do and overcome. I am happily shocked at the human body and it’s ability to transform. No longer held back by the story of age or injury, instead I am madly loving my ability and what I have achieved.

Amazing how much healing can happen when you say yes to YOU.

Whether it is food choices, walking, yoga, mindfulness or even getting down with lifting weights learning to love myself has been a journey I am so grateful for.

I have found trust in myself. And isn’t trust a much needed part of love?

This new love affair is destined to last a long, long time and I couldn’t be happier.

A Look Back at Refinement 2021

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When I began this year, I was welcoming in the idea of taking everything that is good in and around me and polishing it off to become great. As I looked at what that would look like in my thoughts, words and actions I decided that the word that would capture this best for 2021 would be refinement. If you have hung around me for any amount of time you know that choosing a word or intention for your year is an absolute must. To me it creates a map or a guide as to how I will navigate the terrain that I will encounter throughout the 365 days of being human.

I set out to start making soft and subtle adjustments to my mindset and how I show up in the world, and the result has been incredible.

For the last eight or nine years I have been pushing so hard in my business(es) and in my own personal life, and my words of the year have been a definite reflection of that push up until 2021. The last several years my words have been ones like bold, reverence, flourish, and limitless. I have spent that last few years rallying around bettering my business and my personal growth. I feel like I have been in a constant push for several years which takes a ton of energy. Prior to that some of my words were essence, discover, and peace and each of those years brought some fantastic and grueling challenges to be within alignment with those intentions. This year though I began the process of softening a bit and living with a bit less intensity and refining aspects of my life. Realizing toward the end of 2020, I was exhausted I decided stop spinning and instead sit with what is already amazing and make it better.

Here is how I did:

  • I took a chance early this year that I could find work in the big city of Denver serving adults with brain injuries and four agencies said YES. The work has been so fulfilling and validates me in many ways. I have been an adaptive yoga teacher for many, many years but have stayed “safe” within my own little city and venturing out was a definite refining all that is good, and make it better decision.

  • I let go of teaching classes that drain, exhaust, or don’t align with my soul, and instead dove into more of what DOES feed and nourish me.

  • I discovered several close people in my life who I thought I knew really well and I felt had my best interest in mind, were very different than I thought. I chose to distance myself from that kind of energy because it was only hurting me. The freedom that has come from cleaning house as far as who I surround myself with has been liberating.

  • I let go of my attachments to outcomes related to finances and instead decided that as I spend money, I receive money. I opened the flow of reciprocity and the results have been beautiful.

  • I found my healthy weight about eighteen years ago as I let go of about eighty pounds and I have felt pretty strong despite my orthopedic challenges, BUT I took on a strength training program that has transformed me from being a very fit person to an incredibly strong and toned person. Besides the physical difference, I am empowered and confident in my body which is something of recent years I have not felt often.

  • I was able to fulfill of dream of refining my living space by renovating my house on a somewhat large scale and pay cash for most of it.

  • I realized this fall that being in alignment with my values or principles is the number one way for me to stay in the flow of goodness in all areas of my life. Step outside of those, and I become lost quite quickly. I review those vales often, especially before I make a major decision.

  • Mostly this year I spent cleaning up the parts of my life that were cluttered, unfulfilling, distracting, and at times destructive. Instead, I was busy making a simplified and glorious version of myself shine in the world.

As I gratefully spend the next day or so of 2021, I am soaking in the processes I have discovered and am preparing to close this chapter. Look for something amazing for 2022 for myself and the world.

Living Ahimsa

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One of my biggest gripes as a Yoga teacher is the assumption that Yoga is about the ability to touch your toes, or gain flexibility, or needing to being “good” at it in order to practice. Truth is it has really nothing to do with that at all..

One of my most treasured aspects of Yoga is how we go about with showing up for ourselves and others.

This is the essence of Pantajali’s non-harming Sutra known as Ahimsa. Pausing to consider kindness (ahimsa) influences the choices you make and how you truly show up for yourself and for others. Ahimsa (pronounced “ah-heem-sah”) literally means “non-harming” or “non-violence” in Sanskrit. In it most basic level, it’s refraining from causing harm. In the ancient time in which the yamas were first written down, this idea was a pretty big deal. The ancient world was rather violent, so what seems like a relatively simple instruction in the developed modern world (not to hurt anybody) was a revolutionary idea 3000 years ago. Crazy, right?

As we practice ahimsa in today’s modern life, there is more to this idea of non-harming than simply refraining from acts of physical violence.

We understand now that pain can be more than just physical – it can also be emotional and mental. The deepest pain we feel is often very emotional and it most often sprouts from our relationships with other human beings. The grief that we experience when we lose someone or a part of our life that meant so much to our identity. The loss of a relationship or a painful life change can bring about deep and soul-shattering pain.

When we practice ahimsa, we are thinking about how our actions could hurt others and doing so invites us to take into consideration the potential physical, emotional, and relational consequences of our actions. We pause to consider kindness.

This is Yoga.

This week my teaching and sharing Yoga varies from fit and active high school hockey players (with incredibly tight hamstrings), to the average middle aged woman seeking self-love, to the athletic man wanting to wind down, to the dear friend grieving the painful decision she made, to the many people in assisted living who have traumatic brain injuries.

Every single person that I was in front of learned about ahimsa. They also got to feel ahimsa in action.

Want to know how I know this? Because I witnessed the relief in their tired hearts from trying so hard to maintain their emotions, I watched the tears flow, I saw with my own eyes confidence rise simply with one word, I felt with my hands their muscles relax, I exchanged smiles, and I received the magic of knowing that my work matters. The foot rub for the man who receives no touch was ahimsa. And his ahimsa back to me was a twinkle in his eye as he thanked me.

I am frustrated with the non-kind world that exists where division and opinions flood our everyday lives. I am saddened at the lack of humanity and desperate need to be heard in what seems to be a constant “what about ME” mentality. I am exhausted with the lack of kindness for fellow human beings.

But, I chose kindness despite my own struggling emotions. I offered ahimsa for the exhausted world in which I get to share Yoga. I pause. To listen. To see. To feel. To give.

Kindness.

Follow me for more goodness!

Seasons Change

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A student once told me—choose a path and walk it well.

It is not uncommon that we might feel a slight pull towards a change or shift this time of year. Nature is so obvious in showing us that it is okay to do just that, especially this time of year when we see the trees so effortlessly let go of the season’s growth. Some of us resist that pull, and end up staying stagnant and even miserable, when we could be feeling liberated. Or at the least, we could be aligned with our deepest selves as we welcome in the offering a change may bring.

The season for me is coming to a change as I feel and listen to the pull to welcome in something different. In fact, I have been feeling this nudge for a variety of reasons in the last few months. Part of it is the push to complete some big projects that I have been working on, and the other part of me is listening to the interior landscape of my soul asking me to align my actions with its deepest truth. Add to that some reminders that the Universe is always putting in my path exactly what I need in order to pause, look and learn. And maybe even slow down a bit to refuel.

I realize that there will be some disappointment, much like many of us feel as we watch summer come to an end and we pull out the snow shovels and warm sweaters for the coming months of cold.

I ask you though to feel the disappointment, and then rally around me and my work from the place of curiosity and wonder as I work on some big dreams in the next few months. I also ask for your compassion as I trek across new territory. Walk with me as the landscape changes and together we celebrate what lies ahead.

Know this– seasons come and go. Cycles are here to teach us that everything is temporary and that with each inhale there will be an exhale.

Stay tuned and consider joining me on the path.

Foundation

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It is not the beauty of a building you should look at; it’s the construction of the foundation that will stand the test of time. ~ David Allen Coe

This time of year is ideal for getting back into ourselves after a summer season of play, vacations, kids home, and way less structure. This is the time where we reclaim our sense of self. We aim to rediscover the aspects of ourselves that support us in our everyday life.

As you experience a more predictable schedule and life begins to resume some sort of normalcy, take a few minutes to consider the four walls, or four main roots of a tree, that represent your foundation. This is the scaffolding which supports all the other parts of our home, or tree, during times of turbulence.

Here are some ideas; faith, service, accountability, kindness, diligence, love, fulfillment, action, compassion, etc.

You may know if you stop here often that I believe in the power of aroma to shift our chemical response in our brain. We can influence our state of arousal and our emotional state simply by smelling something. How cool is that?

Not sure where to start? Grab one of these blends, take 4-5 deep breaths, apply it to your spine and under your nose and then listen. You already know…you just need to listen.

By the way, check out the emotional benefits of these oils:

  • Douglas Fir.This one invites you to invoke your high wisdom and learn from the past experiences and people who may have crossed your path. This essential oil is perfect for turning inward in the season of more introspection.
  • Frankincense.Frankincense asks you to welcome in feelings of protection, wisdom, discernment, and a spiritual awakening. This sacred essential oil invites individuals to shed the lower vibration feelings that are often negative and draining. This truly brings our your own magnificence.
  • Ho Wood. This peaceful oil brings out a sense of calm and helps to quiet the mind. By clearing the mind of anxious thoughts or simply clutter, we can fine tune into the deepest parts of who we are. This helps us to live in alignment with our principles and aspects of our foundation.
  • Blue Tansy. This one is a powerful aroma that helps to bring out inspiration and the committed response of tacking action. This helps to be more purposeful and responsible, which is such a beautiful aspect to a solid constitution. Blue tansy welcomes in a sense of freedom and sense of walking towards your deepest dreams and desires.
  • Blue Chamomile.This sweet and delicate flower is commonly known as German chamomile and offers a beautiful blue hue to the oil. Like its counter part Roman Chamomile, this flower oil is the perfect choice for bringing out a peaceful and serene mental state. This brings out emotional harmony and illuminates the wisdom with your soul.
  • Spruce. This stable, grounded aroma brings out an enduring balanced outlook to life while also giving strength through your wisdom. When we soak in this aroma we are reminded of the rhythms and ancient wisdom the earth offers.
  • Cassia. This bold oil which a friend of cinnamon is warm and earthy as it invites you to feel courageous, strong, self-assured and confident in your authentic self. This brings an embracing warmth to the confident and meaningful connections in our life.
  • Petrified Wood Chips. It helps to create balance and offers a foundation from which to launch new goals or undertake a different path. This grounding stone helps to calm scattered energies and look closely at the essence of what guides our decisions.

These beautiful oils and solid gemstones will be a constant as your dive into the fall season of a slower pace, a calmer mind, and as you seek out the principles in which your life is sustained by. To learn more about the principles I have chosen for myself, check out this blog post.

You can purchase this blend here and it will soon arrive in your mailbox with lots of grounding love.

Follow me for more goodness!

Truth

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Many of you know I have a daughter with a disability. To be specific it is a rare chromosome anomaly with feature of autism and cognitive delay. She is a delight in many ways, but the truth is, many of the “typical” interactions of having a daughter were lost. Out life consisted of therapists, learning to talk and cope and much more.

Having a granddaughter has brought such a joy to my heart through the simple things like painting nails.

While my girl means so much to me, the truth is there is a loss. The honesty in saying that is real. And in that honesty, there is redemption. Her same is Sawyer.

And she loves purple and she loves sparkles.

Vision Statement

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When I took a course with Brene Brown in 2016 I learned the power of a personal manifesto and have fallen back on the beautiful creation that I wrote during the class many times since then.

Manifesto

I recently returned to the manifesto through the lens of my business and how I want to show up in the world, and who I want to surround myself with.

Being self employed is hard and it requires diligence that cannot be explained unless you know first hand the ups and downs. By linking arms with people who share an equal vision for humanity, for compassion, for striving to be the best human possible, I know that I am living in alignment with my deepest truths.

I would love to share visions with you—whether that is through yoga, wellness, business mentoring, or just giving goodness. If you’re looking for a passionate way to make a difference, let’s talk.

Be light. Be of service. Be kind.

The Pot (repost)

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This beautiful tale comes from my other, more personal blog but it is worth reading here. Being real and raw can invite such a healing.

For many, many years I have often thought of my internal state being that of a boiling pot of water.  Sometimes the water simmers and sometimes it is a raging boil.  The lid may slip off from time to time to allow some steam to release but for the most part I have keep the lid tightly sealed.

A lifetime of experiences and years of conscious choices to see the good and the potential in all situations has served me well and yet, the boiling water remained.  Always there under the surface of acceptance and gratitude.

Disability. Autism. Fear. Shame. Conditional love. Solitude. Survival. Abandonment. Fatigue. Gut-wrenching sadness. Grief.

Recently the day came when the pot erupted into an over-boil and the water scalded me and the all that raged inside me.  As if I was taking the lid off and pouring the wretched water out, I stepped into the deepest darkest caverns of my soul. I allowed any and all emotions to flood out as I poured this enormous pot of water out. Hot and blistering in its sensation, I conceded to its pain.

I cried. I sobbed. I yelled. I stomped.

I questioned God.

And then I withdrew into the emptiness of a pot no longer holding a lifetime of pain.  I sat in the stillness of a depleted and vacant space within my soul. Weakened by the rage and invigorated by the freedom of no longer holding the lid on tight, I felt empty.

In the space of barren feelings, I realized that being pissed off at the cards I was dealt is okay.  Certainly seeing the good in what the cards have offered me is healthy and a beautiful practice that I enjoy living, but denying myself to feel the pain has been destructive.  No more.

The vessel is dry and awaits to be filled with love and happiness.

Stop Circling the Mountain

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Are you one of those people who can never stick to anything? A diet, a habit, or even a job? A good way to change that is to first notice it, second ask your why and then choose to do different.

For years I circled the mountain of wanting to lose weight. Then the mountain was to become a yoga teacher, and later to teach full time. I’ve also circled the mountain in helping others find natural ways to empower their health.

The moment I decided to stop the circling and start climbing, my life has been better. I am aligned with the vision for myself and my life, and I’m helping others become the best version of who they are.

If you’re exhausted from circling, let’s connect. I have some amazing strategies for losing weight, finding your purpose, changing your mindset, learning the power of gratitude and much more.

Let’s do this!