Mindfulness

An Old Friend

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It has been awhile since a certain old friend of mine made a strong appearance in my life. Honestly, I can say that I have felt her presence for months. A decade ago she had stuck around for many years and then disappeared. Or maybe she just stepped into the shadows for a while. I always knew though that in a moment of vulnerability she could easily step back into my life.

This friend of mine is smart, as well as sneaky, in how she can slip into my life and easily take over. Her presence is big even though she has a tendency to come incognito and honestly, I didn’t really recognize her this time until the middle of the night whispers invited me to take off the blinders and see the truth.

My old friend has name and it is control with a middle name of addiction.

Last fall as I was starting to experience more physical pain than I liked. I also started walking far more than I normally do. My old friend convinced me that this was to manage pain. She told me that the more I walked the better I would feel. She was right. For months and months I walked further and further each day. Indeed the pain felt less. My mind felt clearer and I was more content. Being outside for a couple hours a day walking was balm to my pain.

At first my old friend cheered me on and celebrated with me the miles and miles I would walk. She was step by step with me and the conversations we had were about overcoming the physical pain and building confidence in my body while not letting the pain be the focus.

She told me instead to see and celebrate what my body could do.

In her incredibly manipulative way, soon the walks weren’t enough. She convinced me that I had to have more. My friend persuaded me to attach an outcome to a number of steps and if I wasn’t there, then I was shamed and begrudged for letting pain win. Years ago she had convinced me that if I could just walk a certain amount of steps a day I would be amazing and that anything less than that number was weakness. It took a real friend at a beautiful restaurant in Sedona to shed light on the fact that a silly number was stealing joy from my life. That day, I let my friend control go and she stayed away until last fall.

I have been teaching the yoga principles called yamas and niyamas this month. I realized in the quiet moments of the night that I was allowing this so called friend to blind me from ahimsa (non-harming) and asteya (non-stealing). In demanding my body to perform at a certain level each and every day, I was stealing joy from myself. My walks have become no longer about nature, quiet meditation, health or connection. Instead they became about speed, distance and numbers.

Control + Addiction = Stealing joy.

In doing this for months, I have also turned an eye to non-harming. Yes, walking is the best thing I can do for myself. It DOES reduce my pain greatly. It does clear my head and help my mood. But many of my recent walking has also become a space for shame, anxiety and unworthiness. The addiction to performance and outcomes has begun to overshadow the benefits. The panic that takes over when I am not close to the target increases my agitation and negative thoughts.

One the best feelings in the world is my ability to trust in my inner wisdom to acknowledge it, listen to it, share it and own it. This awareness is the antidote to control and addiction. It also helps to have the real and honest friends who rather than join the negativity and shame, just listen and give advice that is from the heart and from that space of truly seeing me.

This morning as I walked that old friend called control and addiction was thanked because I know that she shows up every once in a while to reel me back into living the authentic life I want to live.

She comes around occasionally to help me peel away another layer of self-worth and doubt to reveal an even clearer and brighter version of myself.

I will keep walking everyday to manage my pain and to bring me joy. I will no longer allow the numbers to steal my joy and harm my heart. Instead I will notice the birds, the changes of the season, the aliveness that is in and around me.

I told control and addiction thanks for the insights and until next time…

The Frequencies of Emotions

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Yogi’s have known for thousands of years that there is something magical and mystical inside of each of that is influenced by our thoughts, surroundings, foods, and even our emotions. These frequencies that we emit are measurable emotions. The mystics have known this a long time and now scientists are catching on. People are realizing that our emotional well-being and our energy, can be not just measured, but it can also be influenced with a few adjustments to our everyday habits and attitudes.

Good and not so good vibes

I learned about this frequency of emotions mindset many years ago, but I didn’t have the language to make sense of it or share it.. We all have met someone who seems to have really “good vibes”. And we we have all had people in our life that seem to bring us down. That is their energy and how our own energy interacts and received it.

The great wake up

Prior to my great wake-up, I was living in constantly very low vibrating emotions; fear, anger, disappointment, blame, and shame. The outward manifestation of this chronic mindset was that I was physically heavy. Depression snuck in and I had trouble sleeping. There was very little motivation and even less joy in my life. I had yet to discover a purpose and a passion.

Since my transformation in my mid-thirties, I live in a nearly constant state of happiness and abundance. Experiences that I have wanted to happen, seem to happen. I find the right people at the perfect time. I am inviting into my life amazing opportunities on a seemingly weekly, if not daily, basis. There seems to be little to my life that I wish was different, except perhaps having less physical pain. However, despite having a chronic pain disease I am able to compartmentalize that experience into a place of better understanding and usefulness for my life.

What do we do with what life is

Not that my life is unique to anyone’s because we all have situations in our life that are less than ideal, but it is what we do with it that changes the game. Here is what I have in my world that could send me down the spiral of blame and shame, if I chose to allow it; raising a disabled daughter day in and day out, multiple chronic pain diseases that cause pain and fatigue, the grueling self-employment lifestyle of being 100% dependent on myself to make money and survive, having raised three children alone and with one of them is disabled who still lives with me (which means I have technically been a 24/7 caregiver for 31 years with no break), I have never received a financial windfall, my father chose to completely opt out of my life, my children’s father died from self-neglect at a super young age leaving them without any chance of a turn around, I have had multiple orthopedic surgeries in the last 5 years that have taken a toll on my body, and my joints continue to deteriorate despite my greatest effort to be healthy. Pretty heavy, right?

With all that heavy emotion how do we manage our emotional frequencies (vibes) and how can we work to raise our vibration?

Let’s imagine for a moment the image of a ladder. The middle rung of the ladder represents contentment. Contentment is often thought of as a Zen like experience where all is well. It is something that most of strive for at certain times in our life and when we arrive there, we sigh heavily feel as though we have arrived. Hold on. One step under contentment is complacency. Yea, complacency. That emotion where we feel like, ehhh I don’t need to put that much effort into this, or try that hard. Complacency is that who gives a shit mindset where half effort becomes routine. One more step down the ladder we are living in boredom. Then creeps in loneliness, sadness, blame, shame, defensiveness, anger, and then fear.

Feel that heaviness?

Go back up the ladder to contentment. Imagine again what that feels like. Now, one step UP from contentment is hope. One of my favorite definitions of hope is to expect with confidence. To me hope is walking towards something positive and good with a knowing that it will become. Feels amazing, yes? Well, above hope is curiosity. Above that is joy. Then above that is happiness. Just above that is bliss. Keep going and you will reach the complete wholeness of feeling grateful.

A grateful being is a person who lives in a constant (or near constant) state of high vibes. When we live in that plane, we attract all great things into our life–people, experiences, opportunities, purpose, and love.

Here is where it gets even better.

Simply by shifting our attention up, lifting our chin, looking up, elevating our heart we immediately move up from contentment to hope. I mean literally look up. So much of our life is hunched over, head down either worrying or working. Carrying SO much emotion that can feel heavy it makes our physical body shift downward. Constant downward looking, we begin to sink into the spiral of low and often heavy vibration frequencies.

Interesting ideas

The frequency of abundance measures the same as the frequency of a wild orange. The higher up on the tree, the higher we feel. This is why certain essential oils have the ability to shift our emotional state simply by smelling them. You can learn more about the brain and aroma here.

A simple and powerful tool to keep yourself on the upside of the ladder is to literally look up and notice the tree tops, the clouds, the sky, how your heart lifts with the simple tilt of your chin, take mindful and complete breaths and fill your heart with gratitude. Smelling pure wild orange essential oil is just an added aspect to this magic that can powerfully shift your mood.

Are you ready to work on your emotional frequencies and start attracting experiences and people into your life that resonate with you and your highest vision?

I currently have some personal mentoring session times available if you’d like to learn more about how to shift your emotional frequencies, including the use of crystals and gemstones. Reach out to me, I would love to hear from you! Also, enjoy this upward spiral and downward spiral image to see and feel how good it is to live above contentment.

Embracing Spirit Yoga

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Eleven years ago I created my business known as Embracing Spirit Yoga. At that time I had been sharing yoga for awhile but hadn’t stepped into full time teaching. I decided to take the gigantic leap into the unknown, quit my j.o.b. and trust that my purpose would sustain me.

It never occurred to me to be a yoga teacher. I realized through my own awakening that there are many people who could not easily access a yoga class. Sharing mindfulness, body awareness and connection to the Self became my passion.

I also never wanted to be an entrepreneur. I dabbled with the idea of being a social worker. The funny thing is many of my social work friends now tell me my work is a beautiful version of social work. I spent years working in special education and raising my own unique kid sure paved some ways of understanding differences. Being an advocate for people with different abilities was also so important to me. Having all those pieces come together was a mystery.

Then it happened

People assume that teaching yoga full-time must be so “fun”. I would not describe it as fun. However it IS what I believe I am here to do. I believe 100% that I was given my special daughter to lead me down a path of teaching yoga to people with disabilities. The road with her hasn’t been easy. It is easier to see now that it certainly has gifted me with amazing compassion.

The beginning

Since I began my business in 2011, I have shared yoga in countless group homes and assisted living settings. Being a regular at nursing homes and beside in hospice has been so enlightening. I teach to all types of abilities in a variety of settings, including a small private studio. To some who witness a group of us huddled around a coffee table on leather furniture in a living room they may question if that is really a yoga class. Most of my settings are not perfectly curated yoga spaces with flickering candles, dimly lit room and soft comfortable pillows along the wall.

The classes I teach are designed to be accessible anywhere.

It has been a wonderful eleven years and I have grown so much as a person and as a teacher. I could not have succeeded and been able to touch so many lives without the support of others; my students, my family, my friends and those who have taken a chance on my offerings and who have seen first hand the dedication I give to my students. To some it may seem like I am frazzled and running like crazy. Those who love and respect me see that the hard work is a reflection of my passion for serving those with disabilities.

Every person who has generously said yes to my teachings has made the last eleven years magical and I am so thankful.

Grateful doesn’t even begin to capture what my heart feels.

If you are curious and want to learn more about what I do, check out this informative webpage and read about what I believe to be the foundation of any quality yoga class.

Inclusion Yoga

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Inclusion Yoga is a dynamic form of living and sharing the true essence of Yoga that embraces as its main focus the principles of inclusion.

The dim lights of the Yoga space were easy on the eyes.  The wood floors were cool to the feet that padded along in eager anticipation for the arrival of Yogis. Voices of fellow Yoga teachers whispered around the room.  Candles flickered with shared excitement.

The energy itself was touchable.

As I knelt on my mat prior to the first arrival I witnessed in myself an acknowledgement of what brought me to this day.  With sweet tears, I first saw my beautiful daughter.  Images of her sweet life from birth to this day.  Without her being in my life–exactly as she is–I would not be sitting on that mat preparing to meet my vision.

Next, I remembered my first Yoga class where I was the student.  I remembered my first teacher gently planting seeds that I would soon discover about myself and about Yoga.  I remembered my first Yoga conference when I was eager with excitement and driven to be doing it “right”.

Being told to just be yourself and teach from your heart were wise words given to me.

This moment was indeed divinely guided.

The room filled and people settled in.  Mats were placed in a circle; a circle of inclusion, of equality and of acceptance.

I dropped to my knees and felt the tears sting my eyes as I saw my friend in her wheelchair arrive.  She was the exact reason my heart knew that this calling was not to be ignored.

At that moment, I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I spoke my truth and I taught from my heart.  There was inclusion and pure acceptance.  I got to see huge willingness and courage.  

Witnessing pure love.

I closed the class in complete wonder for what just occurred and with a reading of how it began.  There was deep gratitude for the faith people had in me. Also for the support from others and for the opportunity.

Years that the foundation of inclusion is the essence.

I am blessed to bring adaptive yoga into long term care centers, assisted living setting and group homes. To learn more about my services, check out this gorgeous webpage that explains it all.

Aligning Your Thoughts with Your Actions

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The teaching that I always return to is really so simple: align your thoughts with your actions and your life will change.

The month of March has been historically a month when where major changes occur in my own life. As I look back I see that I started the wakeup of my life that I refer to so often, I took my first Yoga class, did my first Yoga teacher training, taught my first Yoga class, and hosted my first community inclusion Yoga class where able bodied people practiced along side people in wheelchairs and other disabilities all in the month of March. You can see something fiery happens to me during the month of March and magic really starts to happen.

About seventeen years ago I woke up exhausted again and said to myself, “I am done being fat”.  I literally heard the words “I am done”. I had lived with extra weight since my first pregnancy when I was eighteen years old.  Within just four years of my first kiddo, there were three little babies and a bunch of added pounds.  Being fully invested in being a momma I had no idea that not investing in myself was actually a disservice to them.

Not the healthiest

Carrying the extra weight also meant that I was clearly eating foods that were not the healthiest and I was doing no exercise or self-care at all. There was every excuse in the world as to why I was unable to lose weight; healthy food costs so much, I don’t have time, I am too busy, I can’t afford a gym, etc.

Clearly my mind, body and spirit were so disconnected. 

The day in March that I woke up and decided that I was done was in alignment with the world around me where spring was just beginning. When I think back of that time, I realize that I too was in a rebirthing or awakening from a dark and long slumber. I was beginning the journey of my own form of blossoming.

My plan consisted of many things

The foundation of it all began not with the outer or my physical body. Instead it started with cleaning up my inner world. 

My thoughts.

Course of action

The first course of action was waking up up one hour earlier each morning and start my day with quiet, contemplative reading.  I journaled every single morning.  My journal entries at that time were not a recount of my day or diary-like at all. I wrote affirmative statements such as “I am worth it”.  I also wrote down all that I was grateful for in the present, and all that I was grateful for that was coming to me.  It was something like this: “I am grateful for the food I have chosen to eat.  I am grateful for my healthy body”. The quiet and contemplative time was like a drink of cold water on a hot day; refreshing, awakening and invigorating.

Mindfulness

The time spent still and quiet each morning began to stoke my inner fire of mindfulness.  As I became more aware of my thoughts and was purposeful for those sixty minutes, I began to train my brain to be more aware of my thoughts throughout the day.  I started to notice when my thoughts would shift to lack or negativity. I would immediately pause to reframe them to something that was positive. I found that many times I was attaching myself to a made up story or a future based fear.  For example, when my thoughts were something like, “I am so heavy….I am a pig…..I can’t afford that…..I wouldn’t look good in that…..I am broke…..I am a mess”, I would stop and tell myself that all of that was a story and the truth was/is “I am worth it….I have plenty of money….I am beautiful….I am amazing….”

Once I began to remove the heavy and sludge-filled thoughts that were literally weighing me down, I became more deliberate in my actions.  Through the act of being mindful, I interrupted the patterns that were contributing to my extra weight and replaced those actions with healthier ones.

Healthier habits

  • My walking shoes were placed on the steps that went from my garage to my house and every day when I came home from work and before ANYTHING, I slipped on my shoes and walked 40 minutes.
  • The dog’s leash was set out and every morning–rain or shine–I walked my dogs 40 minutes before work.  I slept less but as I moved more, my body was less fatigued and required less sleep that ended up actually being more restorative.
  • The kids snacks were put in the cabinet above the fridge so it literally took a step stool to get to them.  The extra work allowed time for me to really think about how much I wanted/needed cheetos.
  • Instead of going straight to the kitchen when I got done walking, I went straight to the bathtub.  Not only did this give me a self-care ritual, it interrupted a pattern of snacking before dinner.  By the time I got out of my bath, it was time to cook and I eliminated extra calories in mindless snacking.
  • I used small salad plates for every meal which tricked my brain into thinking I was eating more.
  • I taught the kids how to wash and load their own dishes because I was eating thousands of calories in leftover chicken nuggets and fries after I just ate my dinner.
  • I invested in measuring cups and a food scale.  I did this deliberately for a short time so that I would be more intentional with my choices.
  • I logged EVERY single calorie that passed through my lips.  I did this for two and a half years!  Eventually that was an obsession that I had to let go of because it was getting in the way of joy and pleasure with food, but for the time,  I needed to learn just how much food I was over-eating.  Portions and extra wasted calories were out of control.
  • I started to love who I was.  I became passionate about ME.  I was investing in myself and the results were astounding.  I was happier, my relationships improved and my life began to be incredibly vibrant.

When asked how I did it, my answer is this:

I woke up. 

I opened my eyes to my life and I said yes to me.  I cleaned up my inner world of thoughts and as a result my actions became more deliberate.  I began to see my self-worth and choose to love myself by honoring my thoughts and actions. You see, it was not a crazy diet that was restrictive or extreme and I wasn’t killing myself at the gym (although that did come later and had its own set of deep lessons).  I just woke up and put intent into my life.

The teaching that I always return to is really so simple: align your thoughts with your actions and your life will change.

Seeking Yoga Teachers

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There are some awesome heart centered Yoga teachers out there that are tired of the high focus on the physical form that our western culture emphasizes. They also have the heart to touch the lives of unique individuals.

I am seeking those Yoga teachers.

When I began my own personal practice of yoga I was doing it for all the reasons many of us do–increase flexibility, get leaner and stronger, and stretch the tight muscles. What I discovered in the process of learning and doing all of that is the true essence of Yoga–which is union; with myself and with others.

It was also at this time that I was embarking on a self-discovery quest that lead me down many paths, and ultimately opened some amazing doors for my own personal growth.

I had dove deep into my soul and realized that I am here to do great things and in order to do that, I had A LOT of healing in my heart to do. (A recent podcast explains it all). When I found the space in my heart that anger no longer was consuming, I filled it with life changing love.

Hustling

I have been hustling in and out of assisted living, rehab centers and group homes for over thirteen years, specializing in people with brain injuries. It is the most rewarding work I can ever imagine. It is SO needed in every community.

Let’s team up

I want to share this very special population with YOU so that you can go into your communities and feel confident teaching Yoga to individuals with disabilities.

I am currently taking applications for adaptive yoga teacher mentorship. Learn more!

Together we can do so much more.

Learn More
Embracing Spirit Yoga

Loving Myself

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We all think we know what love is and what the definition is, but I resonate the most with how Brené Brown defines love–

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

For the first 30 years of my life I thought I knew what love was and that I was living as an example of love—dependable, reliable, giving, and selfless. I’ve come to now see that what I was really offering was anything but that. I was clueless, unaware, oblivious and at times, destructive.

Not to others.

To myself.

Back when I was young, married and raising three people I was completely asleep when it came to self love. I have come to realize now however that I simply did not like who I was, so loving me was not even close to being on my radar. It is clear now that when you love yourself, you take actions that care for yourself.

Back then I had no awareness that the fast food I was consuming and the sedentary life I was living was contributing to my very large body. I never connected that the heaviness I was in my body was a direct link to the heaviness in my emotions. And then I realized that being an amazing mom wasn’t enough love. There was someone that love wasn’t shown.

Not to myself.

When I began to what I like to refer to as “wake up” and get healthy, I started to like me. I was finding dark shadows that were lurking in my heart that were asking to be let out. The beginning to many things that were literally weighing me down. I forgave others and accepted my circumstances. I began to care for me.

The logistics in which I lost weight are simple–I changed my habits. Recognizing what wasn’t working and learning to make a very conscious decision to change it was my new way.

Some of my strategies were:

  • Eating meals on small plates
  • Chewing gum while I cooked
  • Teaching others to do their dishes
  • Putting trigger foods out of sight
  • Making sure my walking shoes were always with me
  • Changing routines to avoid mindless eating (taking long baths, going for a walk, learning to garden)

You see these simple changes were to avoid be being unconscious. This influenced snacking, portions, and sedentary lifestyle choices. Many of these changes still remain part of my life.

By swapping out the mindless munching on snacks for bubble baths or a short walk, my mind was beginning to see the value in me. It is extraordinary what happens to a person’s soul when time is spent consistently alone on a walk. The changes that occurred both on the inside and outside were amazing.

I began noticing myself.

I have spent a decade and a half living like these habits; mindful eating and multiple daily walks. I even became a yoga and meditation teacher. Basically transformed myself from an angry obese woman to a healthy and happy woman.

A vibrant life was mine.

Then I got injured.

For the last seven years I have dealt with healing from four orthopedic surgeries and learning to live with chronic pain. This body that I had worked so hard to become healthy began to defile me. It was as if she was rebelling against this lifestyle of health and fitness.

Feelings of deep sadness came.

While I have maintained a healthy weight for over 20 years, I have struggled with trusting my body. The multiple diagnoses felt at times like a betrayal. In truth, I spent a solid 10 adult years living on double cheeseburgers, fries and chicken nuggets without a stitch of pain or health issues.

How did I begin to develop inflammatory issues when I was now living my best life? My body’s ability to climb mountains, race bicycles, practice endless hours of yoga, walk miles and miles each day was endless..

And yet, my body was struggling.

I have since learned to accept what is. Learning to continue on living an extraordinary happy and healthy life despite pain.Making daily choices around movement vs sitting. Or ice cream vs a single bite of dark chocolate. And binging on stupid tv vs a long bubble bath. I’ve been extremely happy with the self love I have discovered by nurturing myself.

Loving myself.

The game changed about six months ago when I stumbled onto a strength training program. I was completely content with my body and it’s strength and flexibility-and my size- but was intrigued by this idea of committing to something new.

Questions of worthiness immediately rose to the surface. The excuses were miles long. (I can’t do that because of my hip, that will hurt my ankle, I don’t need to do burpees, I don’t have enough weights, my body is “good enough”).

Deep down I knew that all of that internal dialogue didn’t sound much like loving myself. And I knew it.

So I began October 1st. A brand new love affair with myself. And like any new love there have bumps along the way—days I doubted myself and had some pretty bad words spoken, days I wanted to give up and go back to the inner narrative that I was “good enough”.

Those challenging days of the early love affair with my 51 year old self are gone. Now, I am in complete awe of what I have been able to do and overcome. I am happily shocked at the human body and it’s ability to transform. No longer held back by the story of age or injury, instead I am madly loving my ability and what I have achieved.

Amazing how much healing can happen when you say yes to YOU.

Whether it is food choices, walking, yoga, mindfulness or even getting down with lifting weights learning to love myself has been a journey I am so grateful for.

I have found trust in myself. And isn’t trust a much needed part of love?

This new love affair is destined to last a long, long time and I couldn’t be happier.

Mindset

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Oh my gosh, YES!

Mindset is everything!

I mean face it, the last couple of years have been hard. The word pandemic was not everyday lingo and I don’t know about you, but I never thought about the impact a virus could make on the day to day. Before this pandemic, I had a basic understanding of political differences but the depth at which the country has gone the last few years is startling. The division is palpable in our cities and even in our homes.

Along with the collective challenges that we have all endured we each have our own unique challenges layered upon the big challenges. How we face them determines the quality of our lives. This isn’t to say that putting on a smiling face everyday will be the answer, but our ability to shift our mindset and not hold onto the things we have no control over can certainly help our happiness factor.

Mindset matters

Truth is for me personally, I am a self-employed yoga teacher who has had to navigate how to continue to earn an income during these hard times; going from full-time teaching in long term care facilities, my own studio and a large health club to virtual only was a huge hit financially and had a big impact on my ability to feel fulfilled teaching. It is doable, but hard to connect through a screen, especially with individuals with special needs. I am also a full time caregiver for my special needs daughter; so her programming went all virtual which meant not only was I her primary caregiver, I also became her primary friend/peer/teacher/support/transportation/provider, which was hard on both of us. My last major daily hurdle is I have three health conditions that cause me to experience tremendous pain and fatigue. Managing my pain and being able to show up for my students and my family takes grit some days.

Most of the time, my MINDSET allows me to handle it (somewhat) gracefully and I choose to make the best of this precious life. I have a few must-do practices to keep my mindset in the right place:

I am committed to my health and fitness.

I begin and end my day with a walk. I also walk on my lunch hour and anytime during the day I have sat too much or the burdens of life feels heavy. Some days I get over 25,000 steps and that is okay. It works for me. I find walking manages my pain better than anything else. I also practice yoga and do strength training 3-4 times per week.

I am committed to constantly changing my business model for the changing times and am open to always working hard.

I have learned to be flexible (haha, no yoga teacher joke intended). I navigate the demands of the audience and am constantly learning how to best utilize my skills in a virtual world. I also invite small groups into my studio and while the income may not be what a large group is, I feel connected and inspired and that fulfills me. I work nearly 7 days a week either teaching, marketing, following up, promoting, etc. I am committed to this gift.

I am committed to seeing the best in every situations.

Some people have told me that my rosy lenses aren’t accurate for the world, but I love them. I choose to look at both sides of the situation and try to find the small nuggets of wisdom that may be there to learn. I avoid situations that are filled with hatred, division, anger and judgment which means my circle of friends is small, I spend a lot of time by myself and I avoid the news.

I am committed to saying YES!

I have found that when we live in a state of pessimism (I spent decades there), we attract the very things we dislike. When we learn to say yes to the best possible outcomes, we attract that. If you don’t believe me, try it for a month. Say yes to new opportunities, to new experiences, to new friends, to abundance and then sit back and enjoy the ride.

I am committed to a daily Gratitude practice.

It is so easy to get sucked into the unfortunately popular culture that much of the world sees as not enough (time, money, resources, love). When we shift our attention to what we actually have plenty of, we get more (time, money, resources, love). Look around and notice the abundance of color, texture, living things, and feelings. There really is plenty to be thankful for.

It is a choice and although some days it can be harder to stay in a positive mindset given the status of the world, it is possible with a little changes to our thoughts. My mindset has served me incredibly well.

That’s my mindset, what is yours?

Mind Body Sprit Detox

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“True healing comes with the nourishing of the mind, the body and the soul”  – Unknown 

This time of year we hear all quite a bit of talk about cleanses and I have even participated in some over the years. It seems we over indulge during the holiday season and then dive into something to erase the pounds of cookies, fudge and eggnog we enjoyed for weeks.

I wonder what would happen if instead of taking extreme measures we simply implemented some daily habits into our life so that there is less of a need to swing the pendulum from enjoying all the good things to eliminating and withholding?

As a person who sees the whole person, I think many of us good benefit from minor tweaks to our daily habits as a way to clean up our mind, body and spirit, rather than focusing only on detoxing the body. Small, subtle changes to our everyday routines could provide a great impact to our overall wellbeing. I know that I am working on making these part of my everyday life, not just during the the new year season.

Mind:

Our mind can be constantly recycling our past experiences or predicting the potential disasters of the future, most of which never occur.  Ask yourself how much time do you spend during the day participating in an inner narrative about the past and the future? How much of the time do we get stuck in the past, reliving the same old miseries?  How much time do you spend assuming expectations or anticipating future events? Take some quiet time to look at your thoughts and emotions. Are they mostly happy and optimistic or are you mostly recycling the same worries, doubts, and regrets?

Meditating cleanses your mind, body and spirit. To sit in silence and connect is pure bliss.  Think of meditation as a way to cleanse your mind of any negative thoughts and create space for yourself to listen with a relaxed focus. 

There are many different meditation techniques and practices, the most important thing is finding one that resonates with you and is one that you will return to time and time again. 

Journalling is a great way to get things out of your head and onto paper, it allows you to fully process things that are bothering you and for you to see them in a different light.  

There is no need to follow any structure, allow yourself to write freely and see what comes up.

If you have trouble getting started with journaling, try answering these questions as a starting point:

  • Write down everything that’s taking up space in your mind.
  • What can you do to get yourself some nourishment and self-care?
  • What would you like more of in your life 
  • Rather than write your thoughts, doodle and draw pictures simply to empty the mind

Take a non tech day

Take time out away from your computer, phone and social media. for 24hrs. Give yourself a break away from the screens and the external world. 

Give your eyes and mind a rest and do some more nurturing activities like getting out in nature, cooking nourishing food, playing board games, doing yoga, journaling, spending time with family and friends, do something art or simply do nothing.  Taking some time out in silence is another great way to connect and check in with yourself.

Sleep is a powerful and very needed reset for the mind.  A quality sleep can help you to be more resilient to the stressors of life and will help you access your coping strategies when life does get hard.  Try to go to bed early  and aim for 8-9 hours of sleep. Limiting screen time and sipping on a chamomile or lavender tea can prepare the mind and body for sleep.  Some of my favorite sleep essential oils are cedarwood, bergamot, lavender, siberian fir, vetiver, and eucalyptus.  This free ebook describes some of the amazing uses of essential oils beyond just for sleep.

Affirmations are an amazing strategy to switch our thinking from a negative to a positive. The repeated use of affirmations can be life-changing.

I do believe that the two most powerful words we speak are I AM.  Whatever we speak after that we are inviting into our life.  

When you catch yourself saying a negative I AM, immediately replace it with a positive I AM. Post positive statements where you will see them.

For example:

  • I AM a failure to I AM trying to overcome this.
  • I AM a mess to I AM working hard.
  • I AM a loser to I AM doing my best.

Body: 

Detoxing the body can be something you do seasonally, yearly, or whenever you feel like your body is in need of a refreshed feel.  Some cleanses last anywhere from a one day cleanse to month long cleanses.  If you are not comfortable taking that on, you can also implement these habits into your daily life to maintain a detoxed and lighter body. 

  • Start the day with a glass of warm water and lemon juice, drink lots of room temperature water throughout the day. I also add a drop of lemon or grapefruit oil to my water.
  • Have a light breakfast, maybe a green smoothie and or fruit, avoid or limit caffeine, if possible. 
  • Make lunch your main meal with lots of colorful vegetables and a light lean protein.
  • Avoid processed and packaged foods and heavy proteins, minimize sugars.
  • Get some light exercise such as walking, yogic stretching.
  • Eat an early, light dinner. Ideally eating no later than 6pm can help your body properly digest food and help with a solid sleep.
  • Dry brushing is a method of gently exfoliating your skin using a special firm-bristled brush. Some people use it as part of their skin routine to try to restore firmness, get rid of dry skin flaking, and encourage blood flow to certain areas of the body. It also helps detoxify your skin by increasing blood circulation and promoting lymph flow/drainage
  • Coffee to tea swap.  As much as I love coffee, I am trying to swap my afternoon brew for a yummy tea.  A work in progress.  Some say that coffee can cause the adrenal glands to work extra hard and this ultimately causes fatigue and stress in the body.
  • Salt Baths are my favorite way to relax and detox the body.  I love to add essential oils such as lavender, cypress, cedarwood, basil, eucalyptus and peppermint to one cup of epsom salt. Soaking for 20 minutes can support a natural detox for the body. Himalayan salt is also a great alternative to epsom. 

Breath Work

Breathing is living and a function of life, without it we wouldn’t be here. Every single cell and organ in our bodies needs our breath to fully function. With a regular breath practice we can lower stress levels and prevent disease. 

Moving your body is vital to feeling good and detoxing your mind, body and soul. Any form of exercise supports the functionality of your organs and the natural detox process and gets your cardiovascular system going, improves your blood flow and, thereby, has a positive impact on your body’s systems and processes. 

Yoga is beneficial for your body in general. Iyengar stated that twisting poses compress the muscles and organs, blocking the flow of blood. When releasing the poses, the blood flows back into those areas, improving circulation. Twists are an important part of a balanced yoga practice as they improve circulation – which certainly is beneficial to your internal organs. I have a full library of yoga videos on my website!

Spirit:

When we commit to taking care of our mind and our body, we have a natural and beautiful awakening of the spirit, however there are times when heavy emotions weigh us down and prevent our light from truly shining. Caring for our spirit involves recognizing parts of ourselves that we are holding onto that are interfering with our ability to show up fully in life, and can also prevent us from giving and receiving the goodness of life. 

Ask yourself if some of these resonate:

  • I have regrets
  • I carry resentment.
  • I feel guilt.
  • I need to forgive myself or someone else.
  • I blame others for my pain.
  • I feel ashamed of my actions or thoughts.
  • I do not feel worthy.
  • I am in constant disappointment.
  • I worry much of the time.
  • I fear the worst.
  • I rarely laugh or find joy in everyday moments. 

If a statement above hits you in your gut, it is likely that your spirit could use a little cleaning. I like to think of this as simply polishing off some smudges that have accumulated on our light. With some similar mindful practices to the mind, you can work on clearing out the dark spaces in your heart that are taking up space for something much more beautiful.

Gratitude

A gratitude practice can be a wonderful balm for a sore spirit. The research supports that a deliberate gratitude practice can shift our minds (and spirits) from a place of lack and limitations, which we are hardwired to think/feel, to a place of abundance and grace. What is a deliberate gratitude practice?

  • Look for 3-5 experiences throughout your day to jot down in a book.
  • Notice the feelings that these experiences bring to you. Write that down.
  • Go beyond the touchable and tangible (family, friends, home) and go for the deeper reason why these matter.
  • Review your gratitudes weekly and sit with all that is noticeably good.

Meditation, proper sleep, connecting with trusted people, walks in nature, praying, attending a spiritual community gathering, silence, gardening, and other ways that you identify feed you can get your spirit cleaned up so that you can be the best person you can be. 

Caring for our whole Self is a powerful and life sustaining practice that can enhance all areas of your life. When we are clear and engaged in ourselves we can show up better for the world. These simple steps should not feel like a heavy and insurmountable undertaking, but instead should feel like a way of being and something you can carry into each season of the year.

A Gratitude Practice

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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melodie Beattie

This is a special time of year when we find ourselves being more thankful and appreciative. I love to see the focus of many people shift from the outward struggles that the collective world is feeling to a focus on abundance. If only we could all stay focused on the good in our lives rather than the nonsense that floods and feeds the division in our world.

Gratitude Practice

I believe that a deliberate practice of gratitude can truly change your life. Many years ago I began a daily gratitude journal and after a short time I realized that throughout my day I was looking for things to be able to write down in my journal. What a life-changer to be on the look-out for what is good versus what is lack. Now after 18 years of a daily gratitude practice, if I find that in times of fear or sadness, I can open up any of one of those journals and be reminded of all that I really do have in my life.

I encourage you to spend some time each day acknowledging a few things in your life that you can be grateful for, including yourself! If you are not sure what to be grateful for beyond the obvious, then I say use your senses! What did you smell today? Did you feel something amazing today? Describe something that you tasted today that was amazing? To deepen your practice, you can include why you are grateful. I love to acknowledge that I am grateful for my friends because they help me to feel connected.

How to have a gratitude practice

When we think of abundance we often think of the tangible, material, often obvious things in our life to be grateful for; house, food, car, employment, etc. I would like to offer up acknowledging the abundance of less visible things; the love you feel for someone, the colors that surround your life, the sounds of music and laughter, the aroma that fills your home from a hearty soup, or the growth that you have shown this year.

Soak in all that is untouchable. Fill your heart with the fullness of simply being alive and experiencing the sensations each day offers.

Hugging (and Kissing) A Tree

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“Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.” ~ Herman Hesse

If hugging a tree is good for you, imagine what kissing a tree can do?

Seriously, did you know that hugging a tree increases levels of hormone oxytocin? This hormone is responsible for feeling calm and emotional bonding. When hugging a tree, the hormones serotonin and dopamine make you feel happier. Trees give us hope and insight, and courage to persevere – even in the harshest conditions. They also teach us to stay rooted while soaring to great heights. Trees remind us that letting go is a cycle that must happen in order to make space for the next cycle. A tree teaches us that longing for the previous season or competing with the other trees is a silly and wasteful way to spend our days.

For many years I felt I was I told a story that I was too busy to slow down and soak in the moment. I created a life that was minute to minute chaos. Now, I crave stillness and the result of a calm mind. I long for the smell of leaves that have fallen or the sweet whisper of a breeze along my face. I chose to walk away from the constant hum of a busy and demanding life for a the chance to take long, deep breaths and feel the connection to all that is.

Connecting with nature

By taking the time for my soul to connect with nature, I find myself better prepared to take on the struggles that can come from being alive. I know I am a better human being for choosing to step off the hamster wheel of constant striving and instead step into myself. There used to be something so revered about being busy, when in truth, it was all just a distraction to the inner work that needed to happen.

The tendency to create a busy life still crops up from time to time, but a quick stroll outside reminds me of the happiness that is inside of me. The home that is peaceful and calm.

I get to the feel the benefits of being close to a tree and I like to think that the tree smiles down when she gets a hug and kiss, too.

Maybe

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Just because someone carries it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy. I think that it is pretty likely that each day we hold things in our heart, and sometimes these things become incredibly heavy. But also choosing to carry grace sure lightens that load.

It was on this day that my kids lost their dad forever. It was years before that though they also lost him. I realize that he did the best he knew how to do. It wasn’t ideal by any means, but he did what he knew. And that is okay.

I choose grace.

I choose to hold my head up high. Looking at my grown kids I know that the load I have carried for years was worth every single ounce. My kids are remarkable people and that makes the load all worthwhile.

Someone recently asked me how I got to the point in my process of being able to choose to forgive. And to let go. Well let me first say it wasn’t always easy and there are still times when those feelings of anger or disappoint bubble up, but I try really hard to not allow those heavy feelings to take over. I did a couple years of therapy and I dove into working on myself which invited me to not spend my waking hours fuming about what I didn’t get and instead look at what may have been my part in it all and to be able to learn about perspective.

Divorce takes a little bit of your heart regardless of how amicable it is.

Co-parenting may seem like a great idea, but the truth is finding common ground that works for the kids is even harder when you have two households working. It wasn’t many months after my divorce and my three little kids and I were no longer receiving child support. He didn’t think he needed to and so he chose not to. He also chose to have his visits with the kids shorter and few and far between. The raising of the kids landed solely on my shoulders. It wasn’t just the daily grind, but the big picture things that one parent should never be completely responsible for if the other parent is capable. Or so I used to think.

Maybe he wasn’t capable. Maybe he had no idea how to think beyond himself. Maybe his own heart was shattered and he couldn’t access the part of himself to step up. Who knows.

Within a few years he began to slip into a slow, horrific self-inflicted slow death. He chose to neglect himself. He chose horrible things to do to his body. He chose to give up. Or so I used to think.

Maybe he didn’t know how. Maybe he had something inside him preventing him to get and allow help. Maybe he just couldn’t.

I think about my own father in much the same way. Something in him was missing and he wasn’t able to to plug into being a part of my life. Maybe it was his own addiction or his own beliefs that he had. Maybe he never had a father step up in his own childhood. Maybe he didn’t know how.

When someone asks me how I arrived in a place of peace about my kid’s dad (or my own dad), my simplest answer is that I got tired of allowing all of that pain to take up residence in my heart and preventing me from allowing something much better into my heart, like love. I realized that they both probably never had a father that stuck around. I was able to step back and see that my former husband was a young man with a tremendous amount of responsibility and perhaps he simply could not do it. He was giving all he had to his little family that eventually crumbled in front of him, and maybe it broke him.

I chose to see my father as a lost little boy who had no real father to speak of and an abusive mom. No wonder he was disconnected.

I replaced the feelings of anger and disappointment with compassion and love. Then it was really simple to carry on with a little lighter load in my heart. Being able to do that certainly doesn’t lighten the heaviness of raising three people alone and the huge responsibility that I had, but somehow having a heart full of compassion rather than pain, I was able to move forward and feel good about myself and my kids.

Maybe I will be an example for them.