Can you say that your actions give light to the darkness that others experience?
Alone somewhere in an assisted living group home sits a woman who like many I get to see had a life changing event where everything that she knew was instantly gone. She lost her family, her job, her home, and possibly her purpose.
Everyday is the same existence; eat, sleep, eat, maybe occasionally go into the community, eat, sleep, repeat. There is never a visitor and never anything that provides meaning to her day. I show up once per month to attempt some group yoga classes, however, most of the women living in this house decline to attend, except this lovely lady I will call Patricia.
On my last visit I had the opportunity to work 1:1 with her and address some of her challenges. I knew she had a painful shoulder from her accident and subsequent surgeries so I wanted to see if I could get some pain relief and mobility into her shoulder. Like all my sessions, there is a lot of dialogue and attempts to find connection. I know from my nearly two decades of teaching yoga to unique populations, the one thing that they want more than any physical practice is to feel part of something and to feel seen.
Isn’t that a universal desire? I believe our greatest human need it to simply be seen.
For the hour that we spent together, I learned about her accident and what her life was life before the event. I learned about her dreams, her mistakes, her shame and her hopes for her life. I learned what it means to her to be a mom and a grandmother. I learned that we are the same age, minus a few months difference. I learned about her hard upbringing and getting lost in her youth. I learned the details of her accident that was nearly thirty years ago.
For thirty years, Patricia has lived in this same existence. Thirty years is more than half her life. Half of her life has been lived alone, isolated, without meaning and incredibly lonely.
Towards the end of our session, I wanted to have a closer look at her shoulder and see if I would be able to get some movement and comfort into her body. I whipped out my trusted essential oil blend for pain and began to apply it slowly and gently to her arm and shoulder area. Human touch has a powerful effect and is so under implemented in our sterile world. No words were exchanged as I gently moved her arm in circles and into extension and flexion. I was careful to not do much as I did not know for sure the extent of her surgery and rehab.
I asked her, “how does that feel?”
She looked at me, and with tears in her eyes, she said, “like I matter”.
I rarely show my emotions, especially with my students. I am incredibly careful and cognizant of not coming across as a person who pities them or feels “bad” for them. That is not what they want, but her words struck my heart and tears filled my eyes instantly.
Can you imagine feeling so lonely and forgotten that simply having one person pay attention to you for thirty minutes gives you the feedback that you truly do matter?
Her answer had nothing to do with her shoulder pain and everything to do with her heart pain. I knew that in that instant, I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and she gave me such a gift that day.
I continue to think about how my actions remind people that they do matter. I get to be the giver of goodness. I get the privilege of sharing my day with them and learning how to make a difference in the lives of others.
When was the last time you felt like you matter? When was the last time you helped someone see that they matter? You just never know how your actions are influencing others. Can you say that your actions give light to the darkness that others experience?
I have said before that March has been a powerful month for me historically. This is the month I took my very first yoga teacher training many years ago and it is also the month that I took specialized training to teach yoga to adults with disabilities. On a personal note, it was in March of 2005 that I woke up one day so tired of being 75+ pounds overweight that I took the first steps (literally) in changing my life. March is also when I have made major decisions about relationships that weren’t healthy for me and have met special and unique people that continue to influence who I am for the better. March for me has been a month of tremendous growth and a huge saying yes to life.
Each year I circle back to this and wonder what may have been the initial steps that I may have not even realized I was taking during what I call my great “wake up”. On that cold March day, I grabbed the dog leash and laced up my shoes determined to discover myself. I was tired of being the angry, judgmental, insecure woman that I had become. Something in me was yearning for more.
This morning as I was planning my month of lessons it occurred to me that there was indeed something that called to me to begin the wakeup, and then to step into the arena of teaching yoga.
Something.
What was the something? What was the the spark that led to me to unravel the tangled mess my life had become and to reveal the person I knew I wanted to be?
The something was self awareness. It was looking in the mirror and seeing the truth. It was hearing my voice speak to my children. It was observing the thoughts I had constantly flooding my mind. It was watching the destructive actions that I took.
This powerful practice of self awareness led me to the teaching that I circle back to year after year in the the month of March-preparing our soil. Imagining that our beautiful soul is much like a garden bed that is awaiting the warmth of spring. Self awareness is seeing that garden bed within our heart and looking at all the old leaves, trash and twigs that are cluttering our garden. We all know that if we were to try to plant or grow anything in a bed filled with old stuff, nothing is likely to grow.
My garden back then was filled with comparison, judgment, self-hatred, insecurities, fear, doubt, anger and deeply seeded thoughts that I was not enough. I realized that part of my great wakeup that day in March when I ventured out on a walk was the first step at purging and cleaning out my then, very toxic garden bed in my soul.
Days turned into weeks and soon by late spring I had found little tiny signs of hope popping up in my life. Tiny little shows of growth. It took months for the little shoots of newness to develop into anything substantial but the fact that my soil was now clean and uncluttered due to my diligence with self-awareness, the prospect of me blooming was just a matter of time.
And bloom I did.
March is a time to look inward through self-awareness and see what is left of the last year, or the last decade, that is cluttering your soul and ultimately preventing anything new from growing. It is a time to purge the old feeling and thought patterns that take up too much space in your heart and mind. It is right now that we prepare our soul/soil for the months ahead of growth.
Go get your hands dirty and start clearing out the old stuff because major changes and growth are available to you!
Behold my friends, the spring has come; the Earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of this love. —Sitting Bull
Ahhhh….Can you believe that spring is just around the corner? Soon we will push our clocks forward and the longer days will be upon on us. I can’t wait! I love a good snowy day, but to see the beginnings of green growth popping out is so exciting to me! When I recently was out raking some old stuff up in the garden I was thrilled to see a little green in the wildflower area.
I love spring and the symbolism it represents to me. It is during the springtime that we often think of beginnings, newness, and growth. I can recall at least four times in my life that major changes occurred in March. This is a great time to begin to cultivate your “soil” so that soon you can plant seeds of intention. One way to do this is to write down anything in your life you wish to increase—friendships, health, abundance or joy, peace, etc. Be clear about your visions, review your intentions often, and dream big!
While you are preparing yourself for a season of growth, this is also a time to eliminate the old stuff of the past season that is leftover–things like thoughts of limitation, fears or doubts. That kind of clutter can easily invade your precious garden of growth. I like to think of it much like my actual garden bed in my backyard where last years leaves, twigs, trash and growth clutter and cover the soil. If I want to give the new growth any chance to break through, I better take the time to clear away the old stuff. I like to call this preparing our soil for a new season of growth.
Pay close attention this month as you will daily changes around you, if you opt to pay attention. As we connect with Nature we also connect with ourselves. We realize that we too are ever-changing and growing beings. We can set the seeds of intention and begin to nurture and cultivate what we wish to have growing in our lives. It here we are reminded of the union that Life offers.
Be sure to check out my upcoming March classes around these topics. Also, I am offering lots of virtual classes as I heal from knee surgery and so that the people requesting to join can do so from wherever they are. Be sure to also check out the special sacral chakra class where we will learn all about our own center of creativity and the potential for growth. I also have two virtual chair yoga sessions—I can show you how I adapt my practice to my own body’s need for healing.
I would love to share space with you as we welcome in a new season.
xo.
Yoga
NOTICE A FEW CHANGES TO THE STUDIO!
Monday Evening at 5:15pmhas a couple openings as a couple regulars have had to change their schedule. Also, I will now be offeringMonday at 5:15pm (MDT) VIRTUALLY as a live streamed option. Now anyone can pop in from anywhere! If you would like a spot IN STUDIO please reach out to me below. Please note that there is NO class 3/13.
Another change to the studio classes is I am now requiring pre–payment for the classes you’d like to attend in person. The cost for each class with prepayment is $20 and drop in is $22 unless you are offered a waitlist spot the day of class. You can pay through Zelle, Venmo or cash.
Be sure to watch my website or follow my business page on Facebook for the latest.
SPECIAL CHAIR YOGA ONLINE
Did you know that there is some amazing benefits to chair yoga? And if you think that it is just for an older population, you are mistaken. There is actually a totally difference sensation and experience when practicing in a chair. Since I am having knee surgery this is a great time to give it a try with me!
Saturday March 18th at 1030am *will also be recorded
Monday March 20th at 1030am. *will also be recorded
Are you wanting to have access to a yoga or pilates practice at home that fits into your busy schedule? I offer chair yoga, sensation and intuition based guided gentle yoga, pilates and meditation without having to log in to a specific class time. All of my classes are offered at a donation. You can find ALL of my videos on my website! If you are struggling with developing a home practice, let’s talk. I would love to help you find a way to love practicing at home.
ESSENTIAL YOGA–ALIGNMENT (VIRTUAL)
This month’s online class on Alignment and includes the self-application of a variety of therapeutic grade pure essential oils throughout the practice. Please reach out to me if you need samples to fully enjoy this class. Donations are appreciated.
Wednesday March 22th at 6:30pmCost: $25, includes a sacral chakra blend
This beautiful second energy center governs our creativity, sensuality, sexuality, flow and movement. This chakra is all about going with the flow and fostering creativity–the perfect focus for springtime!. If you are feeling stuck, lacking creativity and need support flowing through life, this class is for you! Cost includes access to the online yoga class and discussion, a custom essential oil blend for the sacral chakra with gemstones, and a gemstone. All from the coziness of your own home. Once you register, you will receive an email from me to receive your goodies.
Have you been feeling like there is something that you are seeking but can’t quite put your finger on it? I am offering a modified version of the Daring Greatly course that I took with Brene Brown in 2016. This virtual class will focus on finding your deepest core value and how to step into it within your daily life. We will navigate this class over a two part series and it will include a special blend of essential oils that correlate to this teaching, gentle chair yoga, meditation and breathing exercises.
This two part series will be Friday March 24th and Friday March 31st at 10am (MDT).
Cost for the two sessions, meditations, and essential oil blend is $40
Are you looking for a way to jump start your health? Have you ever wanted to know some of my tips and tricks to living a positive life, losing weight, improving sleep and managing stress? How about a free wellness consultation to talk about your goals? Schedule yours today and let’s create a wellness plan! I offer FREE wellness consultations to talk about your goals and desire for a healthier, mind, body and spirit.
I am inspired to create and share with you some mindfully themed blends each month that I spend time thoughtfully crafting. This month’s blend is called OPTIMISM and is a delightful bright optimistic blend. This blend includes Tangerine, Bergamot, Joyful blend, Siberian Fir, Green Mandarin, Invigorating blend, Helichrysum Flower and Natural Citrine.
Flowers represent everything beautiful about springtime – and they also make pretty good teachers on how to live fully in any season. Here are ten inspiring thoughts from the mind of a daffodil, tulip, rose, or whichever bud you prefer!
1. Follow the sunlight. Do what makes you feel happy and warm.
2. Take your time. Bloom when you’re ready, no need to rush.
3. Be yourself. Wherever you are, bring your own spring with you.
4. Make friends. Surround yourself with those who care and support.
5. Smile bright. Spread your colors into the world.
6. Stand tall. Be proud of everything you do and achieve.
7. Stay grounded. Keep yourself connected – water your roots often.
8. Have faith. Know that the sun always emerges from the clouds.
9. Don’t mind bees. Even the bees are your friends. Do your thing, and let busybodies play their part.
10. Feel the rain. Open your pores and drink in every season.
About Stacie
Stacie believes that it is her life purpose to share the gift of Yoga with anyone who is willing to say yes. In addition to raising a family and being an advocate for those with disabilities, Stacie is founder of Embracing Spirit Yoga which specializes in bringing adaptive Yoga into community centers and rehabilitation clinics. Bringing her depth of compassion to the mat–or the chair–she offers students the opportunity to grow as an individual in all aspects of their life.
With over twelve years experience, Stacie Wyatt is an E-500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance, Life Wellness Coach, Senior YogaFit Instructor, Mind/Body Personal trainer, Stress Reduction and Meditation Instructor, Pilates Instructor, and Barre Instructor. Stacie is also certified in Integrative Movement Therapy™and is also a believer in the power and application of essential oils for health and wellness and proudly shares doTERRA essential oils.
Stacie brings her personal life experience of raising a daughter with a disability and over 12 years working in special education to her everyday Yoga classes.
In addition to teaching classes at a variety of local centers and health clubs, Stacie also continues to offer Yoga and Wellness coaching individually to those seeking private sessions.
In these uncertain times I find myself longing for what I know and for what brings me a sense of feeling grounded. For many years I come back time and time again to this poem. I share it with those who I know are willing to meet me in the space of vulnerability and see me from the heart of compassion. For me this poem invites me into myself and reveals the truths of who I am, or who I strive to be.
The Invitation
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon… I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
Iwant to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Tell me what do you love or admire about yourself?
I asked this question in all of my adaptive and traditional Yoga classes last week as we delved into the idea of Self-Love. The answers often are so sad when it comes to my students with brain injuries. You see these people have lost what most of us value and are having to rediscover the aspects of themself that they actually like. Most have lost their livelihood, their purpose, their families, their independence, their freedom to come and go, and oso much more. When they look in the mirror they often see the challenges and the impact of the injury so finding the qualities within can usually be really challenging. I also have enjoyed asking my group of students that are all over the age of 85 and living in assisted living. I am startled that so few of them can proclaim something that they love about themselves. Perhaps it is a generational thing where they didn’t spend as much time as younger people these days who seem consumed with the Self.
The answer seem to be so hard for them to find.
I ask the question anyway and the answer is usually that they are blank on what they love about themselves.
I keep asking, though.
On one particular day in a class that included a range of ages and abilities, I asked a woman living with a brain injury who is close to my age and is often very down on herself the question. When I asked her what she liked about herself her eyes dropped down to the ground and she quietly said, “nothing”. She was hunched over with her arms on her legs looking so hopeless and sad. This woman is so kind, so willing, so sweet and is so beautiful.
I knelt down so that I was in her eye gaze and asked again. And again, I got the same response.
I knew that I was about to open a beautiful can of worms and an opportunity to teach exactly what Rumi was saying.
I turned the question around. I asked this woman what she liked about me. She looked at me and easily said, “You are brave, and strong and so beautiful”.
We smiled at each other and I looked into her eyes.
My response wasthis—I am simply a reflection of you. What exists in me is also in you otherwise you would not recognize it. We are indeed a mirror reflection of each other.
She sat tall and said, “really?” Yes my sweet friend, really.
I learned this concept many years ago and try to always remember it, especially when I am with someone who feels that they are not enough or someone who struggles with identifying what makes them special. I ask them to think about someone they admire and what qualities do they see in them that they like? It is those qualities that also exist in ourselves.
Consider that. What you see in others exists in you. Kindness, integrity, compassion, love, bravery, beauty, honesty, humor, etc. If it was not part of you and familiar, you would not recognize it.
The tricky and often sticky part about this is that when we also see a quality within others that we find less appealing, it is because that too is familiar in us. When this happens to me I say, “ahhhhhh yes, there you are to remind me what I am here to work on”.
When we stumble through those ordinary days of self doubt and wondering what is really good about ourselves this can be an amazing concept to return to. When we feel burdened by life’s hardness and separate from the ideals in which the world has attempted to create, and we feel so less than, simply look into the eyes of someone you admire and know that the only way you can see those qualities is because they also exist in you.
It is familiar. It is a mirror reflection of yourself.
“You may find that making a difference for others makes the biggest difference in you.”
Over the years I have had the opportunity to share my story a few times through interviews and podcasts and each time I get to tell it I realize that it wasn’t until I literally woke up and stepped into acceptance and gratitude that my life began to transform into greatness.
We all have a story and hopefully we all have opportunities to tell it and use it as a springboard to inspire others. This recent interview cut right to the chase of what I do and why.
What’s your business, and who are your customers?
I teach adaptive Yoga and wellness to individuals living in an assisted living setting with traumatic brain injuries.
Tell us about yourself
I am the mother and caregiver to an adult daughter with a disability, and I had initially found yoga for myself to help with stress and self-confidence. I soon realized that it was much more than that. I believe that when I allowed healing to come to my heart and sadness and find acceptance for the struggles I had been a single mom to three little kids and one significantly disabled, I was able to see that perhaps my girl was a beautiful door that opened for me to share yoga with those unable to access traditional yoga settings. I am now contracted with over 100 individuals per month with TBI and have become a success in my field. I am motivated by my students and their resiliency and how their trauma has influenced them to be their best selves. I am inspired by them in every class I get to share with them.
What’s your biggest accomplishment as a business owner?
My biggest accomplishment has been showing individuals that yoga is not about the physical body and that the intent is to find wholeness within themselves. I am so proud of the method that I have developed that has shown over a decade of success using yoga as a modality to find contentment, inner awareness, and life after injury.
What’s one of the hardest things that comes with being a business owner?
The hardest part is having enough time to reach all my students, learning to say no, and keeping myself healthy in mind, body, and spirit to be able to continue to show up as my best self.
What are the top tips you’d give to anyone looking to start, run and grow a business today?
Market effectively.
Be yourself and use your passion to fuel your business.
Having the opportunity to share Yoga and wellness in the community with individuals unable to access a traditional setting has been life changing for me. I hope that you find ways that your story can influence and help others. It is through our own growth that we give others permission to do the same.
It’s not joy that makes us grateful, it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.
Brené Brown
Think about that. So often we misunderstand that if we had all the things and our life is packed with goodness, we would then be grateful.
Actually it is not that way.
I have read and even taken a course with Brené Brown and yet I still continue to learn and soak in more every time I hear her speak.
Last night I was watching a talk she gave to teachers and other leaders. She was describing what happens when we think that we cannot be happy with what we have and we are constantly seeking joy through external things. We have all heard “when I take that vacation” or “if I could have that ____”, then my life would be good. This is called scarcity thinking. Scarcity thinking is when we think what we have is not enough or what we have will be taken from us.
Huh.
Years ago I had that mindset. Thankfully through the work I’ve done I no longer have that reaching for something. If a moment sneaks up on me and I do start to feel that what I have isn’t enough, I just have to go to my office and grab one of EIGHTEEN years worth of gratitude journals to see that my life is really quite full.
For some a gratitude journal feels daunting. That’s okay.
There are countless ways to cultivate a genuine gratitude practice. Here are some great ideas:
pause before eating to recognize all that took place to bring you that plate of food
step outside and look at the sky and just breathe for two to three minutes
look at a stranger through the eyes of peace
say thank you throughout the day as doors get opened, people say hello, words are exchanged
smile more
before you begin your busy day sit for five minutes and gaze around your space and not see the tasks undone, but see instead your roof, your furniture, your safety
exchange gratitudes of the day with your family or friends before eating
Research shows that with a genuine gratitude practice, we can shift from scarcity thinking to joy. Imagine your life shifting from disappointment to deep appreciation. Think about how your relationships and business could flourish with an attitude of enough.
This time of year can seem like we are stuck in endless amounts of cold, dark winter days that go on and on. Also for some of us the holiday hype leads to a low-energy winter drag that sometimes can last months.
Many of us also dread the month of February because the influx of romantic love seems to be everywhere. I’m all for love but I have learned over the years that without self-love, there will be no room for love-love. It’s just doesn’t happen.
For many years I was a seeker of love outside of myself. In some ways we all are—we want validation and to be seen—that is normal human behavior. My trouble came when in the truth and quiet moments with myself, I really didn’t like who I was, and actually loving myself was not even in the ball park.
Then I woke up.
I realized that my kids needed a healthy mom. They needed someone who demonstrated self love. They required a mom who was no longer angry but instead developed an acceptance for life’s hard things and took them as lessons to grow.
I also became radically aware of self care. For decades I thought self care was selfish and totally for the elite. Wow, right? I came to realize that the only way I was to find pure unconditional love was to begin by loving myself unconditionally. You attract what you are.
Today I actually coach women (and men) on the power of a deliberate self care routine to help become the very best version of yourself. It’s not all about bubble baths, although those those do help tremendously.
I crafted this essential oil blend with the intention that it dives into the areas of our brain and heart that focus on positive self love and self image. There was a lot of thought and trial and error that went into finding the perfect combination to embody self love that is purely unconditional.
Unconditional Blend
Rose: Opens the heart chakra and allows you to feel unconditional love. Creates a sense of well-being and calmness while awakening your ability for self-compassion, nurturing, and love.
Lemon: Opens the heart chakra to self-love and self-nurturing. lightens while uplifting your spirit and bringing clarity into your life.
Neroli: A natural tranquilizer and regulator of the nervous system that opens the heart chakra, uplifts your spirit, and encourages confidence, joy, and peace.
Marjoram: Restores warmth, self-compassion, and self-nurturing when feeling lonely or isolated.
Lavender: Helps you to relax, let go of the stress, and release fear, which fosters connect with the heart center and opens you up to more love.
Jasmine: Uplifting and joyous oil that balances the emotional system, soothes anxiety, and helps with depression and apathy.
Geranium: This emotional healing oil restores confidence and trust in others. It can help to heal a broken heart and open one up to love.
Ylang Ylang: This is a powerful remedy for the heart and releasing trauma from the past. This oil helps to release bottled up emotions that weigh heavy on the heart which allows for a more playful, carefree, emotionally connected and loving experience of life.
Tranquility Blend: Includes Lavender Flower, Cedarwood, Ho Wood Leaf, Ylang Ylang Flower, Marjoram Leaf, Roman Chamomile Flower, Vetiver Root, Vanilla Bean Absolute, Hawaiian Sandalwood. Encourages individuals to first reconnect with themselves and discover peace that lies within, and then to reconnect with the humanity in others. This brings a calm, tranquil, peaceful, relaxed, compassionate and connection person.
Rose quartz: Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love. It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love. Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace. Calming and reassuring, it helps to comfort in times of grief. Rose Quartz dispels negativity
Plus a sprinkling of rose petals makes this blend gorgeous to look at, too.
You can purchase this gorgeous blend here or invest in my self care package and it is included along with bath bombs, soothing foot salve, yoga and meditation.
Over the years I have shared my story and the path that has lead me to who I am and what I do as my purpose in the world. We all have a story that has put us on the path, or maybe you’re still seeking the path?
Here is what I know and believe wholeheartedly—the path is there, we choose to take the steps or turn away.
The way is right there. We know it in our gut, and yet like myself for many years we deny the way. We look elsewhere for love, joy, purpose, and contentment but when we take that first committed step on the path that is appearing, and despite the fear and unknown, we keep going and sure enough in time that path becomes the way.
I’m forever grateful for the hard years of my life because it led me here. I am here. I am on my way. I am.
If you’re feeling lost and without purpose or love I encourage you to stop. Close your eyes. Breathe. Listen.
You already know.
Take that first step. Open up to your life and your happiness and your purpose. It’s yours. Own it.
I had a recent conversation with someone about body shame. For many years of my adult life I was heavy and carried around an extra 80 or so pounds. I have experienced fat-girl shame. It isn’t fun. And yet, I have also experienced skinny-girl shame. That isn’t fun either. I wonder sometimes why we can’t just be kinder people.
The answer for me came in the way of self love. I didn’t love who I was—not because I was fat but because I was toxic and heavy in every area of my life.
It was exhausting so I decided to love instead.
Simply love myself. As I began to love myself it became inherently easy to love others, too.
With my new found self love I came to know that I am an enneagram one. I am a perfectionist and I hold myself to high standards. I also am an overcomer of obstacles. I rarely see something as unobtainable or impossible. I see the good in most everyone and am exploding with positivity. It is unusual for me to be emotional (something I am trying to open myself up to). I am steady as steady can be. I thrive feeling safe.
Taking control of my health and my body fueled me and I began to thrive.
No shame in owning that.
I also struggle with daily chronic pain. It takes a ton of discipline to continue to work my body into its best health. I honor my body and refuse to let her down by focusing on pain or limitations. Instead I look her in the eye and tell her she can do it. I have a strong sense of self and am in awe of what my body can do.
No shame in owning that either.
As years go by, I continue to tenderly speak to the large sized woman I once was and thank her for being patient with me.
Being on both sides of the size spectrum and feeling both types of shame I am convinced we need to lose the shame game. Give people the grace to be who they are.
When you do some good work and if it inspires others, then you have just created the ripple effect. -Mohith Agadi
If you have been reading and watching awhile you know I have chosen a single word for my year for 19 years. This word acts as a compass for my thoughts, words and actions throughout the year. I create graphics, post notes, make screen savers, buy bracelets with the word embedded on it, I create essential oil blends to support my intention, I talk about it ALL THE TIME, and I basically embody the essence of the word and watch as my life adjusts. Sometimes the word and intention literally kicks my butt within days of declaring my intention and sometimes it takes months of work to reveal its magic.
It is a deep practice to me and one that I believe changes lives. For the entire month of January I basically ask anyone in my life what their word of the year is. If they look at me like I am crazy, I immediately dive into the readers digest version of the process and how we are all creators of our life.
I recently shared this lesson with the agencies serving adults with traumatic brain injuries that I teach adapt yoga and wellness in. Imagine my heart exploding when I learned today that over 30 individuals have chosen a word or theme for their year and have created affirmation cards for their bedroom. These are people with tremendous impact of disability and yet, they are showing up and doing the work.
I am so proud that one little (huge) lesson has impacted so many. This means that 30 people will be focused on living their best life, despite many challenges. It means that they will shift their focus from their limitations to what they want to create in their life.
They could choose to just be angry and wait until life takes them. They could be focused on being a victim and losing everything. They could be focused on the should have beens. They could have made excuses as to why it will never work.
Instead, they embrace a lesson and run with it.
That is the ripple effect that happens when someone does the work and then shares the life changing lesson with anyone willing to listen (or not). These brave people will be creating their best version of their life through the power of intention, and in return it will impact others. That is powerful.
So, are YOU ready to choose a theme for your year? Are you ready to create the life of your dreams?
If you’ve been following me you may have seen that I have chosen to put a little effort into being vulnerable this year. Looking at me from the distance – or sometimes even for those close to me – I appear to be unstoppable, strong, creative, successful, determined, and without a doubt a true overcomer. That is all true.
You may have also seen that I also opted to explore vulnerability in my life this year and dip my toes into a little “emotional exposure” as Brené Brown so eloquently says. Well, emotional exposure was proving to begin with a big bang.
Fear and uncertainity started to show up in big ways as soon as I declared I was ready to look vulnerability in the eye. It is one thing to feel these things, but I have a tendency to keep those big emotions to myself so the exposing of them was almost was big as feeling them.
So to be really open and honest, I have been fighting my way from slipping down into the depths of huge feelings of fear like I have never been over the last few weeks. Seems that since the declarative statement of what I was willing to improve in my life, vulnerability said “let’s just see how you can handle real big feelings”.
Thinking I am in complete readiness for my upcoming major hip overhaul, suddenly I was overcome with fear. Big time terror day after day. Waking up in the night fear. Shaking fear. Pit of the stomach fear. Gripping fear.
I told myself over and over that people get hip replacements all the time and yes most people do fine. But that is not a blanket statement my mind easily accepted. Of course we also hear about the 82 year old grandma who gets a new hip and is at the social club within a week which can make for some serious unhealthy comparison.
The fear began to battle comparison and I was questioning myself more than I ever have. Would my body and dysfunctional immune system accept the new hip? How much would my life be changed? How much will I have to rely on others to help me? How much time would I be away from work? Would I still be in pain? Would I ever be able to practice yoga the way I do? Will I get another blood clot? Will I get an infection? What if…? What if …? But what if…..? Over and over and over and over.
You see this isn’t a classic case of having bone on bone joint issue or severe arthritis. My joint is in perfect health and every doctor who has looked at the images scratches their head and wonders if that will address the pain. I have had three grueling tissue repairs on this previous hip and I still have a tremendous amount of pain and inflammation so the theory with my beloved surgeon whom I trust with my life is to remove the joint and closely surrounding tissue and give my body a clean, new joint which may greatly reduce my constant pain. The word “may” started to feel really scary as the days for closer.
I begged for silent moments of clarity. I pleaded with my conscious to give me insights. I walked and screamed at the sky to help me.
Is living in pain an option? Absolutely. Is enduring torturous fear an option? Hell no.
As I navigated this very unusual emotion over the course of the last few weeks I was startled at the physical changes that were occurring in my body. I am an incredibly steady and stable woman so to feel such intensity in an unfamiliar emotion was taking a toll. I had a racing heart all hours of the day, eating was incredibly hard, I felt like I had adrenaline running 24/7 through my veins, and I was experiencing deep pain in my belly every time I thought about laying on that stainless steel table for the 4th time. Of course the turmoil in my solar plexus was my first indication that my gut was telling me to listen. As the days ticked off I had more and more gut instinct knowing.
In my yogic thinking world what I was experiencing was a complete mind/body interaction where my intuition, or gut instinct, which is essentially our solar plexus where decisions are made and our personal power is being stoked like a fire. Feeling my personal power escape my body while making a life altering decision was sending my body into real time horror.
What if I chose to not listen to the language my body was speaking? What if I opted to ignore the screaming inside my body to pause and ask more questions? Despite the four second opinions there was still so much uncertainty about if this was truly the right direction to take, and yet my instinct knew it was not.
The moment that I stepped into my personal power and reclaimed clarity, it all stopped. I felt lighter. I felt myself gather up all that I know and feel about myself and feel empowered with clarity and much needed hope. A conversation with my surgeon late in the day where he reassured me that it was indeed a good decision to wait validated for me what I already knew.
I think we all have the capacity to know what our bodies need. We may not know the details to a solution like a complex surgery or diagnosis, but we do know when something feels off. We do know when our personal power is being threatened. We do know when we are right.
Vulnerability knocked on my door hard these first thirteen days of the year. But I welcomed her as a messenger and proudly reached out to a handful of safe people to pour my heart out. I revealed my fears and uncertainties. I spoke my vulnerability.
And when I did, sure enough clarity overtook fear.
I learned so much over the last few weeks about the subtle and not so subtle ways our body speaks to us, and that when we don’t feel something is right, to listen and then talk about it. Our voice is powerful and like anything, the more we do it the easier it becomes.
The hip surgery is on hold. Maybe forever but for sure in the near future. I am going to focus on the needs of my body that are determined with certainty like a quick knee scope, addressing some back issues with natural options and getting even healthier and stronger than I am—mind, body and spirit. Maybe the ol’ hip will calm itself down and all will be well.
