Exploring the Darkness

Among all this chatter about resolutions and goals, I also find that during the depths of the long winter darkness, it is also a wonderful time for us to investigate the deep shadows within. I do believe that it is only when we see the shadow or darkness we can see the brightness of our own light.

Some people say to not waste time looking at the darkness of ourselves, instead only see the light, but the wise ones know that without the shadow you could not see the light.

I am digging into this topic this month as we look at being in alignment with not only our word of the year and intention, but also in alignment, with showing up as a person bearing the most beautiful light, and that requires us to also look at the shadow and dark corners of ourselves. You know things like fear, judgment and shame.

In my own personal life, I am looking straight into the eye of fear. Some thing that I don’t typically experience or feel much of on a day-to-day basis. But the looming of something coming very soon is bringing up in me fear. But on the other side of fear, there is always courage and faith.

Keep watching and keep waiting. More to come.

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2020 Year in Review

Ahhhhh.the final day of 2020. It has been a transformative year for me in so many ways. When I pulled up my #bestnine photos I was happy to see that two of my favorite quotes made the cut.

Mindset IS everything.

Like so many people, my life that I knew came to an abrupt stop March 7th—my studio closed, the gym I taught at closed, the long term care centers and clinics I saw clients in closed, and my daughters adult day programming closed.I needed to generate an income to sustain my life AND meet the needs of my kid. Within 36 hours my entire business went online and I was again navigating meaningful and purposeful activities for my girl to do while at home, and still maintain her social skills, advocating skills and navigating the community.

My mindset HAD to shift, and shift quickly. What once was daunting to me, has now become second nature. I actually like the camera! And the growth I have seen in my daughter these last nine months has solidified my belief that the services in the community need a serious overhaul before I would consider putting her back in a program.

The other quote that popped up inspired me to be open to anything…to allow myself to become what I want by moving through the challenges with grace, hard work and a bunch of faith.The cute little gal in the photos showed up so much because my life changed SO much this year, I was able to spend weekly time with my little mini-me. The special bond that we have developed would not have happened if not for the major changes to my work schedule.

A major ankle surgery and looking forward to the next season of my life inspired me to practice radical self-love. To say no when I needed to, to take extra long bubble baths and be willing to receive help and accept a pace of healing that has been incredibly slow. I recognized the boundaries that were needed to keep my heart in a good space. I learned to let go.

For me, 2020 has been remarkable.

My word for 2020 was REVERENCE—a deep honor and respect for all things and experiences.

I’d say I embraced it beautifully.